Saturday, September 30, 2017

And You Can Feel it All Around You, but it's Something You Just Can't Touch

Brett Favre, Muhammad Ali, Dirty Dancing - Havana Nights, Vanilla Ice, Van Halen....., sometime you should really know when to quit.  But you keep thinking, I still have a few more credits why not try a few more times and try to recapture that past glory.  So recently I've been scrolling through those 40-something profiles within 50 miles and looking for a lady between 5' and 5'10" that has written something "not canned" and does not have a profile photo in a bikini and makes no mention of wanting to have a "sausage party," or have a profile name like CumNGetit, all indications of an on-line host.  As an aside, with my new sign-ons to AM I sure have become popular in China, everyday some K-pop looking chic winks at me and sometimes they even send me a cherry imogi gift.  Who knew!?

But seriously I do have a few credits and just like Brett I can't walk away from that urge to throw one more TD pass.  So I continue to look for interesting ladies.

The other night it came down to three ladies.  One seemed very sweet, with a fogged picture of a brunette that appeared to be your third grade teacher.  All she wrote was "I'm looking for a man who can offer me the passion and excitement that is missing from my marriage," with no checks.  That just looked like a host with carpal tunnel and can't write anymore (seriously AM got a lawsuit once from a host who sued from getting carpal tunnel).  A 50 year that is 5'2" and 115 looked very interesting particularly given that she's into "daring rendezvous" and has 17 checks for "looks better in person!"  That has to be a slam dunk, right?!  But then again who wants sloppy 18ths on "pursues fantasies" and "salacious!"

So I settled on Alexa.  Here is Alexa's profile (slightly modified to protect the guilty).  I thought she was pretty interesting and who can resist the same Meyers-Briggs personality type as Jane Austen!  I speak Meyers-Briggs and happen to be, on some non-social days, an INTJ; except when I'm more in my Ryan personality and then I'm more ENTJ.  Anyway, she was too much of a challenge to pass up.  My note is below.  I thought it was pretty good!

Seeking Dom
  • Age: 49 (*******)
  • Location: *******, Virginia, United States
  • Height: 5'4" (157cm)
  • Weight: 125 lbs (59kg) - Fit
  • Languages Spoken: English
  • My Limits: Something Long Term
  • Status: Attached Female seeking Males
  • Gender: Female
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
  • Smoking Habits: Never
Preferences and encounters I am open to:
Being Submissive/Slave, Bondage, Spanking, Blindfolding, Role Playing, Threesome, Open to Experimentation, Aggressiveness, Gentleness, Good With Your Hands, Sensual Massage, Extended Foreplay/Teasing, Likes to Give Oral Sex, Likes to Receive Oral Sex, Someone Who Can Teach Me, Likes to be Watched/Exhibitionism, Lots of Stamina, Dressing Up/Lingerie, Kissing

This is more than just hard sex. Has to be a physical attraction, first. Then, you have to be intelligent, quick-witted, and be able to string together more than two words to form a sentence. If you're the least bit arrogant or conceited, I will feel it. If you are not able, due to your schedule, or not interested, in daily communication, preferably a combination of e-mail, text, or another chat app., do not contact me. If you do not live in the DC Metro area, do not contact me If you have no sense of humor, really don't contact me. I expect well-educated, well-traveled, well-read. I have no time for game players or men who only want to chat erotically, so if that interests you, move on. And if we do decide to meet, dress like a Dom, not like a slob. A three piece suit, while not necessary, is noticed. Put some care into your dress. I expect to meet you at least one time to chat over a meal, to determine if there is any substance and depth, or if there is only a shallow surface. Most importantly, be discriminating, as I am very much so, and be capable of caring about a woman outside of the sex. I look for patterns and notice this more than words or your actions. Patterns speak volumes. I'm an INTJ. Read up on what that means before you contact me. If you do, you'll know much of what you need to know.
What really turns me on:
A Professional/Well Groomed, Stylish/Classy, Muscular/Fit Body, Sense of Humor, Imagination, Creative and Adventurous, Aggressive/Take Charge Nature, Confidence, A Good Listener, Good Communicator, Good Personal Hygiene, High Sex Drive, Dislikes Routine, Likes Routine, Has a Secret Love Nest, Disease Free, Drug Free, Casual/Social Drinker, Discretion/Secrecy
What I'm looking for:
Travel, Shopping for Sexy Clothes/Lingerie, Fine Dining/Candle Lit Dinners, Music Lover, Dancing, Theatre, Motorcycles, Visiting Adult Swing Clubs, Daring Rendezvous, Watching Sports, Playing Sports, Erotic Literature, Physical Fitness, Photography, Skinny Dipping, Long Drives, Wine Tasting, I Am a Social Drinker

Member Feedback:
gives good chat
pursues fantasies
worth the time
better in person
hot to trot
better over time
keeps promises

Here is my note to Alexa:

Wow Alexa, (Zodiac sign) and INTJ I feel like I need to write to myself. So what would turn me on in a note, let me think....? Oh wait you don't want arrogant and conceited. That's good because its really about how we feel together in that certain moment. Sure I'm confident but I'm confident enough to go on the journey side by side making sure each is equally fascinated by the trip.

So Ms INTJ did they tell you in school it's lonely at the top as an INTJ. Good to have someone to walk along side you that is as imaginative and thoughtful; and likes to be precise with plans. How's that for a run on sentence with WAY more than two words. So how about a walk at Great Falls and some wine tasting at a spot where we can discuss the change of seasons, your thoughts on Balanchine vs Vaganova, or even how the Nats will do in the playoffs and be back in time to beat rush hour. I'm balanced and precise that way!

I have a BS in Business, a Minor in English, and an MBA so I'm fairly thoughtful unless you are a *** grad and then my degrees from Big State U make me somewhat lacking in cognitive sophistication. But at least I can be self deprecating and funny!

So please take a few of your 2,000 available characters to tell me what inspires you so I can be a good listener!

And even though I'm an INTJ as well you don't have to just stick to the 5W's and H and just the facts, maam!

Take Care and have a great evening!


Well the next day I got two messages from AM in my in-box, YEAH!  But when I checked closer one was "priority message opened" and the other was "key access request."  Wow, Ms. INTJ, such mixed messages; I thought us INTJ's were all about "fish or cut bait."  OK, OK, so I sent her my private photos; all classy mind you!  No, chesty mirror shots, and private parts.  My favorite is me in front of the alligators at Disney!  Yes I think it says daring with enough liquidity to afford a pricey vacation as well!  :)

Unfortunately an hour later she pulled her profile.  DANG!

Or did I miss again
I think I missed again, oh
Oh, I missed again, oh
I think I missed again, oh......

Note:   As of this morning she is back on line but now do I spend another $79 to follow up????

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

It's Been the Same Way for Years, We Need to Change....

"Are you sure Hank done it this way" is a 1975 song originally performed by one of my country favs Waylon Jennings.  Waylon was part of the "Outlaw Country" movement of the 1970's, a somewhat "raw" return to roots country and away from the cross-over Country-politan Nashville sounds of the late 1960's.  The song references "rhinestone suits" and "new shiny cars" as ostentatious overtures to pop-culture by country artists and asks for a return to the true purpose of the country troubadour.

The other week Donald Trump, our President, conducted a grotesque and brutish press conference in his Trump tower New York home.  He made overtures to the South, taking on the role of protector of heritage.  He defended the iconography of Southern heritage through the use of monuments dedicated to Confederate generals.  In the aftermath many said this was the speech he had been wanting to give.  This was his statement to the liberal elite and the political correctness police to go shove it and let those Southerners determine how they remember their past and how they chart our future.

And so I'll write the post I've been wanting to write for some time.

Before I do though let me lay some groundwork.  As Southerners go I'm about as Southern as you can get.  I have to be careful now so I don't "out" myself but who cares, this is my Trump moment.  My parents are from, my extended family is from, and I was born into what many have called the most Southern place in America.  No, not Key West, we are talking philosophically!  One of the great southern college sports fields is even named after a distant relative.  I didn't grow up in that most southern place, my parents moved to another state also in the south.  If my birth state is the most southern place in American, the state I grew up in was the epicenter of the Civil War and birthplace of so many of those Confederate icons.

So let's just say I have a lot more reason to be desirous of expressing my southern heritage.  And for many years I would have said the playing of "Dixie" at Ole Miss football games, Colonel Rebel as the Ole Miss mascot, waving the Confederate flag were all expressions of love of home and heritage and had nothing to do with hate.

But time passes and we reflect and we take stock in our heritage and the icons that represent that heritage and perhaps more importantly how my icons affect others and finally if the positives I get from my icons are worth the mental costs borne by others as I express my heritage.  Wow, long sentence to say is it really necessary to fly the Confederate flag when we know it's offensive to others!

So here are my few thoughts on the subject and be wary, sometimes I am contrarian in expressing a point.

First, if you are a fan of the Confederacy I would say that you are probably a fan of "state rights."  After all, all those neo-rebels love to say the Civil War was not about slavery it was about states rights.  Not sure if I agree but for the moment I'll give you that.  So if you are for states rights why are you marching in protest of a freely elected town council voting to preserve self-determination and taking down a Confederate statue.  I mean that is kind of flawed logic isn't it? If you want to keep the statue of Robert E. Lee in Charlottsville then move to Charlottsville, run and get elected to town council, and make a motion to put the statue back up.  Otherwise are you not like one of those dastardly Yankee carpet-baggers Southerners so despise?!

Second, what is up with all these Confederate generals?  I have to admit I'm a bit luke-warm about uniformly taking down monuments to Robert E. Lee.  He had a very successful pre-Civl War career as an army officer and Commandant of West Point.  His post-bellum career was also of merit as he was the President of the prestigious Washington College, later becoming Washington and Lee University; a very fine institution in the Old Dominion.  I also always find myself admiring Stonewall Jackson and other Confederate officers for their military acumen.  That being said I find to hard to figure out why there would be riots when New Orleans determines to take down a statue of Confederate General PGT Beauregard, a rather mediocre general who gained fame with rather hallow military victories at Ft. Sumpter and First Manassas but had rather large losses at Shiloh and Corinth.  I mean I love his name Pierre Gustave Toutant-Beauregard and he had two hot wives Marie Antoinette Laure Villere and Marguerite Carolin Deslonde but I think having Beignets at Toutants is a more reasonable preservation of his memory than a statue.  You say you would like to have a statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis?  You do realize he was a miserable failure as a President and one of the key reasons the South lost the war.  His inability to control his government and his incessant poorly executed micro-managment of the war have always been identified as key reasons for Southern failure.  Nathan Beford Forrest?  I love his most famous quote "get there fustest with the mostest" but other than that he founded the KKK and allowed the massacre of Union troops at Ft. Pillow.  Hardly someone to admire.

Bottom line, statues to Confederate generals really does not pass the historical smell test.

But we all still need a symbol of our heritage right?  And lacking other things isn't that old Southern flag the reasonable icon of our love of the south?

Well thirdly, not really.  See the "rebel flag" if you will was never the flag of the Confederacy.  That stars and bars confederate flag was actually the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia and used throughout much of the war.  Elements of that flag were picked up on later flags of the Confederacy (after 1863).  Btw, the Confederacy lasted four years and had three official flags; I mean can you make up your mind?  The flag was also sometimes used by the Confederate navy.

Bottom line, that "rebel flag" that people proclaim to be heritage really only represented a portion of the South and was only in use for four years of the south.

You know now that I think of it I have Spanish and Scottish Southern heritage.  Spanish exploration of the south began in the 16th century making our collective (in addition to Native American) Southern heritage about 500 years old.  But let's factor that down to the American South which of course starts around 1776.  That means that "rebel flag" people want to use as our "icon" represents about 2.9% of the American South experience.

OK, here is my contrarian viewpoint.  Here are some very Southern things that in official public use have lasted longer than the Confederate flag:

*     Biscuits are probably the most southern food in the world.  They evolved from Scottish scones.  The biscuit (or quick bread) as we know it today was formulated into it's identifiable form in the mid-19th century.  This makes the biscuit about 150 years old and occupying 62.5% of Southern American history.
*     Pecan pie has origins going back to Native American history in the south.  After European settlement pecan pie were made with eggs, butter, honey, molasses, and other natural sweeteners.  The pecan pie we know of today is from a recipe developed by the Karo Syrup company as a way to sell more syrup.  That recipe was developed in the 1930's making pecan pie 87 year old and representing 36% of Southern American history.
*     Nothing is more Southern than Southeastern Conference football!  The SEC was formed in 1933 making it 84 years old and representing 35% of Southern American history.  If you want to support the South say "roll tide," "hold that tiger," or "rim ram, flim flam, Ole Miss by Dam."
*     Finally, Elvis Presley lived to the age of 42 representing 17.5% of Southern history.  Who is more revered in the South than Elvis?  Who made the South more cool than Elvis?  The answer is nobody, nobody in the South was ever more cool than Elvis.

So by my calculations any of these Southern icons are much better representation of my Southern heritage than the "rebel flag."  My reverence for Southern heritage is based on the great Southern work ethic.  My pride is in the great cuisine based on the fusion of French, Spanish, African, and Native American foods that formulate Cajun, Creole, Carolina Low Country foods.  I love that the South (with Memphis as the epicenter) gave birth to rock and roll when the blues fused with Southern gospel and folk music.  These are things I can revere that don't hurt others and make them feel excluded.

Like Waylon's song, I'm not sure all those great Southerners ever really thought we should use "rebel flags" in the way so many people are doing now days.  I'm quite sure George and Thomas and even Robert "never done it that way!"

So many things to love about the South that have nothing to do with slavery, with oppression, and about someone preserving their heritage at the detriment to others.

I say give it up and move forward.  We as Southerners have a lot to be prideful of, we don't need to attach hate to that pride and we certainly can include everyone in our love of the south.

And with that in mind here is my icon of heritage and flag of the South!  And Donald you can keep your Yankee opinions about my South locked up in your tower in New York!

Here is another great interpretation of Southern heritage by another Southern populist like me.

Monday, July 31, 2017

It Took an Awful Lot of Trouble Just to Make Me Understand

The Firm was a mid to late '80's super-group formed by friends Jimmy Page (of Led Zeppelin guitar fame) and Paul Rodgers (from Free and Bad Company who performed on the Led Zep able).  They only produced two albums but they were awesome.  They were a wonderful blend of 70's power rock blended with 80's synth and productions sensibilities.  They did evoke images of that 80's wonderment of teen angst amid the backdrop of those odd times just before the world turned 'round with the Berlin Wall, the internet, and cable news.  The challenges before seem so tame now, but at the time they were enormous and the Firm helped to articulate.

The words above are from the song "Satisfaction Guaranteed" but as we know satisfaction is never guaranteed is it?

Shannon was my "it" girl in high school.  No, not that Shannon; this Shannon.  I wrote about her once before.

I think the fact that I have always had a penchant for infatuation led to my lack of luck with girls in high school.  The real foolish part was my lack of luck was not from lack of opportunity it was from a ridiculous sense of determination towards a particular individual who had my attention at that time.  I think now we call it "creeper," I prefer to call it loyalty!  :)

I guess even today I have a problem with getting attached to someone and not being able to see the forest from the trees.  It's probably why I have stuck with my current Shannon well past the point any normal person would.  HS Shannon was not necessarily the prettiest and certainly not the most popular.  Well she was very pretty but not what you would call "traditionally" hot or even sexy.  She was thin, demure, and somewhat diminutive (though more thin than short as she is of average height).  She perhaps looked a little like that brunette singer from Banarama.  Like those Banarama singers your eyes tended to first focus on the blondes but the more you looked at the brunette (Keren Woodward) the more you realized how gorgeous she was and how much she was the most attractive in the group.

Shannon was always sort of adjacent to my friend groups.  I always had a feeling she liked me through middle and early high school.  I never acted on anything until one day early in my senior year I realized she was beautiful.  I remember slow dancing with her at the firm after game "hop" in high school.  She smelled so good and her body felt perfect.  I talked with her most of the night and the vibes felt good.  I was pretty sure I would ask her out very soon.  We had a few classes together and we often talked, she was very easy to talk too.  However, once I started to "like" it seemed more difficult and forced.  It was me not her!

As has always been my penchant I hesitated.  That hesitancy cost me.  A buddy of mine asked her out.  He was a real "it" guy; blonde/blue eyed, in a band, great personality.....  It was pretty much over, they dated for the better part of the year.

Did I tell you Shannon had about four friends all of whom were perfectly attractive by any normal person's standards and all of whom were purported to be interested in me (but reliable high school sources).  Late in the year things between Shannon and her beau were getting diced, I had hopes.  At each party I went to in spite of knowing there were possibilities I held onto the hope that Shannon one day would be my girl.

Friend 1, Anita (one of Shannon's friends) was supposedly interested in me.  At a mid-winter party I talked to her throughout the evening.  She is very nice (and brilliant btw, has become VERY successful in life).  I didn't make a move; she got drunk and was making out with another guy by the end of the night.  Strike one for Ryan.  But I was still saving myself for Shannon.

Friend 2, Lucy is one of the sweetest people I've ever know.  We remained friends through college as we both went to Big State U, hung out at the same frats, and are still friends on Facebook.  Lucy has beautiful eyes and has always been so easy to talk too; perpetually happy and good natured.  Personality-wise I could not have been with a more perfect person.  But every time I was with Lucy, Shannon was close by.  And for that I could never get my mind off Shannon.

Friend 4, Evie is gorgeous by today's global standards.  I think she was of Iranian heritage with cafe au lait skin but with firey red hair.  She was tall and had a great figure.  If I met her today I would not shun temptation.  But my high school self did not quit know what to feel, failing to traditionalism.  I never pressed though those same purported high school sources said she was interested in me.

Did I tell you all these girls were all in the "smart classes" and have all since become very successful?

Friend 5, Marcie was probably the most interested in me.  I remember senior week at the beach walking with her along the beach at night and talking to her for probably hours.  Stupid me didn't make a move; I was thinking about Shannon back in the room on the other side of the Dunes.  I did make out with Marcie later at a party.  But to her credit I think she figured out that I was settling and just wanted any action I could get.  She made an opportune exit and nothing really happened beyond that.

That same night I walked on the beach with Marcie our big party ended up "partying" beyond daybreak.  I woke up in the car back in front of our hotel.  I remembered very little beyond that walk and talk with Marcie.  My friends told me that later that night Shannon and I connected and we had sex.  At least four of my friends corroborated the story.  I really didn't know what to think.  I was suspicious but I was anxious to be in Shannon's presence to assess the validity of the story.  Of course I soon found out it was B/S, my friends were playing a joke.

I know it's awful; I deserved so much better.  Then again I once was part of a team of pranksters who handcuffed my drunk friend and painted lipstick all over his face and then dumped him in his yard.  No, I deserved the prank as much as the next idiot friend from our group.

Shannon and I never did have sex, we never even kissed.   I continued to see her over the next summer and into college. Once a friend of mine and I stopped by an intimate "parent-away-for-the-weekend-party" at Marcie's house where Shannon and Friends 1-5 were present.  It was a gold mine!  Two guys, five girls how can you not get laid!  I found a way not too because I was there for Shannon.  She knew it and all her friends knew it.

Well, I'm not sure what the moral of this story is other than it's the end of the month and I need a post.  Perhaps it's that persistence may pay in a broad sense but rarely for a specific instance.  As much as I always like to say persistence and tenacity eats efficiency for lunch I'd say flexibility eats persistence for dinner when it comes to women.

I guess that's my story for the day and I'm sticking with it.

Now here is some great '80s music, enjoy!  And now I'm wondering if I take Shannon to Depeche Mode at Verizon Center will she think I'm the best!   :)

Friday, June 30, 2017

No New Tale to Tell

You know summer is always the best time of year and its really been where I've had all my success on AM.  I met Alecia in May, Sandra in July, and Sandee in August.  So as the heat of summer comes over the Valley I get a little nostagic itch to see if I still have that same old Ryan message magic.  AM is a new game with a lot of new ladies in town, could they would they respond to an old Ryan or perhaps could we find a new Ryan.  Only time and about 25 credits will tell.  The amount of credits would be the amount that I have still on account across my two AM accounts.

So maybe just for the hay of it and to generate some final blog posts before I fade away to the dark web, I'll send some notes out to the AM world each month over the next few and lets see what happens.  I'll give you a little perspective, for what it worth, on what catches my eye.

To start out let's start with a note I've already written (as I'm usually writing about past events anyway).

PotomacDesires surprised me with an unsolicited note last month.  No, a wink from a 30-something lady is nothing new; probably an on-line host.  But she was "attached," didn't have a photo on her profile (bikinis on boats usually means host), was not ridiculously proportioned (e.g. not 5'10" and 110 pounds, again that typically means host or fishing), and actually had some feedback check marks that included the always important "better in person!"

Well I didn't think about it much at first, I'm in semi-retirement.  But then wait!  OMG, she has shared private photos!  I click, hmmmm...., interesting.  Shower image, a little cleavage, a little "cheeky" if you know what I mean but not overtly sexual.  I've gotten those overtly sexual private photos before, very good indication of somebody fishing for video sex/chat.  This seems plausible and overall a somewhat interesting profile though a bit brief.  Humble, again nothing screaming "online host."

OH, and she had looked at my profile.  Never write anyone who has not looked at your profile, even if they have winked or favorited, or sent you a big cherry gift. In fact if they do send you a gift don't write.  No woman who actually wants to meet a man is going to send a "virtual" cherry to some 40's something random guy on a social network!

Anyway here is PotomacDesires:

Am I looking for you?
  • Age: 33 (Aries)
  • Location: **********, Maryland, United States
  • Height: 5'4" (163cm)
  • Weight: 140 lbs (64kg) - Average/medium
  • Languages Spoken: English
  • My Limits: Whatever Excites Me
  • Status: Attached Female seeking Males
  • Gender: Female
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
  • Smoking Habits: Never
Preferences and encounters I am open to:
I'm looking for a guy who can bring some spice into my life. Please be considerate and thoughtful if you wish to contact me. Can't wait to meet you.
Top of Form
Member Feedback:

gives good chat

pursues fantasies

worth the time

better in person

hot to trot


better over time

keeps promises


Well, I thought; what the heck, what's 5 credits among friends.  So I drafted my first note in a LONG, Long, long, time......

Ms. Desire,
You have a very friendly face that I'd like to see in person! So you're looking for some spice in your life. Well, I'm a foodie and my favorite spices are saffron and rosemary. They are ever so slightly sweet and tangy. They add to food's natural flavors by enhancing and not dominating. They make food not only interesting but tantalizing from the moment you recognize the aroma. That is how I am. I like people for who they are. I like people to feel free to be themselves with me. Like saffron and rosemary I enhance and allow people to go where they desire and I enjoy that journey with them.

Care to add some spices together along a certain journey in our lovely area? Some wonderful spiceful adventures along that river between us! Perhaps a walk, perhaps a wine tasting, perhaps just being in the moment between the river's current and the mountains. And then......

Well, let's talk about that.

Hope you have a wonderful night Ms. Desire,

Eh, not so bad for being out of practice.  Who knows?

As in the past any style critics are invited and appreciated!  :)

Btw, were you interested in seeing my for-real AM profile?  OK, here it is:

Just to Satisfy You
  • Age: 46 (Capricorn)
  • Location: Somewhere Near the Potomac, United States
  • Height: 6'0" (183cm)
  • Weight: 185 lbs (84kg) - Fit
  • Languages Spoken: English
  • My Limits: Undecided
  • Status: Attached Male seeking Females
  • Gender: Male
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
  • Smoking Habits: Never
Preferences and encounters I am open to: edit
When I met you in the restaurant. I could tell you were no debutant.....

Just looking for someone who is cool and fun and we can be silly and slightly refined when absolutely necessary. But mostly just fun.

But I hope you won't see me in my ragged company. Because what we are all looking for is a magic kind of medicine that no doctor can prescribe.

And of course you will leave saying "some of your time is like one glass of water, it just keeps me thirsty for wine."

So lets not check boxes let's say shared passion and an opportunity to be completely "in the moment" with someone who is fascinating and shares joyous moments in a captivating alternative place just for us.

How about a bottle of red, a bottle of white. I'll meet you anytime you want in our Loudoun winery. Or perhaps take in the views at Great Falls or any other journey you wish!
What really turns me on: edit
A Professional/Well Groomed, Stylish/Classy, Sense of Humor, Relaxed and Easy Going, Discretion/Secrecy, Casual/Social Drinker

Someone who inspires, enchants, enthralls, bewitches, and beguiles me and challenges me to be at my best.

I enjoy someone with a wide range of interests and I don't mind a challenging opinion.
What I'm looking for: edit
Travel, Picnics, Fine Dining/Candle Lit Dinners, Cooking/Barbequing, Music Lover, Politics, Watching Sports, Playing Sports, Physical Fitness, The Outdoors/Nature, Romantic Walks, Wine Tasting, I Am a Social Drinker

I enjoy hiking, biking, basketball, working out at the gym, swimming, racquetball, and just about anything that keeps me active. I love touring local vineyards and am a bit of a "foodie" so I enjoy fine dining.
Member Feedback:

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Days in the Sun

"Days in the Sun will return
We must believe as lovers do
that days in the sun
will come shining through...."

My mom passed away unexpectedly five months ago.  She didn't suffer from what I could tell and for that I feel a subtle peace.  Many have said, with consoling words, it was good that way.  I have seen friends who have struggled as their loved ones have passed away slowly and it is a lingering pain for all.  I am glad we did not go through that.  And yet for us there has been the lingering slow denouement of her life.  The final scene is next week when we close on her house.  There is a paradox of relief balanced with the sadness that this is a part of our life that is now concluding.

Preparing for this has been the main aspect of my life these past five months.  I've not seen much of the gym or Sandee; certainly no Ashley Madison (probably a good thing) and very little time to blog.  Rather, each day the words of that song chime in my head as I remember the peace that her home has given me over the past several years.  I move a sleeper sofa and I remember the night we were snowed in and I watched Ella Enchanted with my girls and ate popcorn in front of the TV on that very spot.  I move the grill and remember all the peaceful Sunday afternoons I spent cooking out, sipping on a Yingling, and keeping track of the NASCAR race or perhaps the Redskin's game just inside.

The last five months have had stressful hurdles to move past, the neighborhood memorial where our local friends stopped by to tell us how much they enjoyed her as a neighbor.  It was tough getting the house ready for guests in addition to our own life close by.  We prepared her shrimp creole and in the end had a wonderful time, surprised at how much impact she had had on this community though she only lived her this last decade.  Then there was the memorial back home to plan.  I drove down two days ahead and completed final arrangements.  Again, stress then alleviated by the joy of seeing so many friends.  As we moved past winter the house had to be made ready for sale.  Much cleaning and organizing, a yard sale, moving treasured family items to others and to our home.  Then finding an agent and arriving on price and ultimately negotiating with potential buyers.

Through it all she has seemed alive and certainly a presence in our life.  At first it was the cats who had to be fed and taken care of daily; mail that needed to be gathered.  Often it was the flour we didn't need to buy because she had a bag at her house; oh, we don't need to buy Windex she has plenty.  The neighbor needs sheets for their daughter going to college, she has an extra set we can give them.  The tasks so mundane and yet pleasant that her house and yes she was still in our life in some small way.

When her older cat died it was sad but a relief.  The cat who she fed and then took into her home was very happy every time we came down to visit.  He slowly latched onto my daughter and then one day we were able to get him to our house.  Though we already knew him he is now becoming part of our home.

Her best friend came up to pick up some furniture for her son.  We decided to have a final cookout and dinner at her house.  I remembered during the meal to look around the table and take a mental picture for my mind's photo album.  There was happiness and joy around the table and it was good to savior that last hospitable moment in the house.

I moved much of the last furniture a few days ago.  Funny, it reconnected me with Alecia.  One of the families she helps is moving to a new place and has nothing.  I took over two rooms worth of furniture and a kitchen worth of supplies.  It feels good that a new family will sit on that couch in front of that TV and sleep on that bed and keep their clothes in that dresser.

But as I continue to hear that song I realize the melancholy lyrics and chords amplify the loss I feel of her and in the life that is moving on for all of us, the life that my daughters led partially growing up in that house, the meals we had on those Sunday afternoon and holidays, the peaceful times watching Big State U on that big HD TV.  I miss her and I am anxious at how this event has so clearly defined the line of demarcation to this next phase of our life.  I can't believe both of my daughters will be in high school next year and that we are starting to plan for college.  These are exciting times but also pensive and certainly leave me longing (as the song lyrics say) for easier days gone by.  I can't help feel the lifeline of my family's childhood slowly fading as we clear out the final belongings.

I guess in the end, beyond the pictures and the quilts her lingering presence will be a happy cat purring on a bench in front of the upstairs window.  I think she would be happy with that.

"I can't go back into my childhood, one that my (mother) made secure.  I can feel a change in me.  I'm stronger now, but still not free....."

Friday, April 28, 2017

Esto Hay Que Tomarlo Sin Ningun Apuro

Varios Pensamientos, Despacito

Despacito is a beautiful Latin song that has achieved swift worldwide fame thus far in 2017.  It is delicately and deliciously sexual and speaks of that unwavering gravity one feels when you find someone who draws you in passionately.  It reminds me of how I've felt several times in and around Ashley Madison.  Though it has been a hot single for some months in Latin countries it is just now getting major airplay in mainstream US markets.  We were just in Miami and we heard the song, the fam reminded ourselves that they heard this song when it was first out the last time we were in Miami.

It's funny how towns come in and out of your life as do people.  Miami is a town I had just driven through through the first 45 years of my life but over the past three years it has come to be our go to destination for a variety of reasons.  Places like Chicago, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Memphis, and New Orleans have come and gone through my life but now Miami is where we go for the peace of mind that comes from a Puerto Sagua Cuban dish or a slow walk and people watching adventure along Lincoln Road.  I love the warmth of the area and the exquisite blend of cultures.  And OMG the Latin women, do they ever age?!

But I do think of the people and events of my life over the past seven years, was it really spring of 2010 that I signed up for Ashley Madison.  The interesting people that have flowed through my life, it's fun to remember.

Alecia was the first woman I met on Ashley Madison.  We had sex, fantastic sex!  She orgasm-ed multiple times and then I think it went on too long.  I was so nervous that at the point of ecstasy I actually could not finish as it were.  I guess the nervous got me up but couldn't take me back down.  Alecia seemed offended that I did not orgasm.  It caused some conflict.  After two such meetings she vanished and then returned a few years later.  We still talk.  She has a daughter in college and she sometimes asks for advice or simply vents about worries.  I've helped her in her work a few times.  I'm glad we are still in touch.

Sandra was such a joy to meet and to know.  She made me feel so good about myself.  The sex was great!  The other funny thing I remember is how tall she was.  I've always dated the petite girl, usually around maybe 5'4" to 5'6."  Sandra is every bit of 5'10" and was usually in heels, the only time I've ever been out with a women that is taller than me (I'm 6' even).  One thing I love is to get into the shower after sex, Sandra was always happy to oblige.  One time after being in the shower for some time we were ready for more sex.  We stepped out of the shower and I was now behind her in front of the mirror.  I reached around her and pressed my finger into her.  She sighed and instinctively bent forward.  I then moved my dick between her legs to *uck her from behind and in front of the mirror.  It was going to be great.  But then reality set in, her female hips set high on her 5'10" were a considerable strain to penetrate with my male hips on my 6' frame.  On tippy toes I plunged into her.  For a time it was fun but then we laughed and retreated back to the bed to finish.  Thankfully she was the type to laugh with you!

Keeley was a really interesting person, perhaps the most interesting and intriguing for several reasons.  I enjoyed meeting her but that experience taught me that sometimes life just gets in the way and that one way to make sure life doesn't get in the way is to not overdo it.  I think I lost myself in that point but if you read my Keeley stories maybe you'll get it.  I think the main thing on AM is to take it one lady (or gent) at a time.  Volume causes complexity issues that make the whole thing un-fun and fun is why we are doing it in the first place, right!  I think I get it now.

Sandee, wow so many memories and such a lovely person.  I'll always remember the great plunge I took into the Potomac River!  How did she ever tolerate my goofy-ness!  How did any of them.  But God Bless them for doing so, it's been a fun ride!

So I've been on Ash Mad for 7 years, blogged about it for 6+.  This will be my 482 post.  I've almost gotten to 400,000 hits.  There was a time where I averaged over 5,000/month of real hits (not bots).  I've gotten to know a lot of other bloggers and readers as well.  It's been fun, really fun!  But I'm not sure how much more I have to say.  I'd like to get to 500 posts and at my current slow pace it will take me another year.  Given that, I hope to write my last intentional post one year from now.  Beyond that, who knows.  I still get the itch from time to time but for me I have to define boundaries.  I've never gone a month NOT  blogging (at least once) and will continue that until I get to 500 (aspirationally, but then we live in the era of Trump so what do boast mean now anyway).  After that I can excuse myself and move on.

I know I've got 20 credits on my Ash Mad account so I'm already thinking about my last letter post.  I wonder which unlucky lady will get that message!

Shannon and I talk of moving to Florida.  Maybe I can retire and open a Cuban restaurant somewhere and run off with a Latina hotty!  :)