Friday, June 28, 2013

FFF - Stratagem

Have you FFF'ed Today!  It's the Patriotic Thing to Do!

March Over to Ad's Blog and Join in on the Fun!

"Thomas remember you said that if I won it would be my turn to do whatever I wanted."

"Yes darling, but the game is not over just yet."

"Oh Thomas, what is your stratagem now when mine is to only give myself to you."

"My dear Vicki remember,

Till willful loss of game atwixt two queens surprise me…”

"Oh Thomas why must you think in quotes and live for polo when all I want is to devour you!"

"Patience, my love.  The King's game can be such lovely foreplay.  Will you now take my pawn?"

"Yes I take your pawn and off come my panties.  You are quite coquettish but your center is now quite defeated and my Queen commands the board.  In two moves I'll have you in check.  And Thomas remember that this game is only a lovely foreplay when we end at mate!  Will your black now surrender to me."

"Oh my lady, how should one playing with the like of thee avoid being beaten?”

"Thomas do stop that, we are not in the Arabian Nights.  If you were not so delicious your theatrics would soon quite bore me.  Why must it be so hard with you."

"Because my dear nothing easily won is quite worth it in the end.  But my dear perhaps you are too anxious and have exposed your Queen.  Here, I can castle there and prolong the game for at least 15 more moves or at least enough to meet my gents for our afternoon chukker.  Think about those next moves or those panties will have been removed for naught."

"Thomas!  Really!  Why must it be so hard to fuck you!  When that is all I really want to do!  You have men rob banks for you, yet you don't need the money.  You play polo, golf, and ride that machine of yours for what experience I don't know.  I should have turned you in when I had the chance so the world could be rid of your churlish behavior.  And yet I hang on hoping that one lucky move may win you some day."

HNT - Ryan squares off against Sanee!
"Vicki don't you know once you win something you've mastered it and once you've mastered it then defeating it is no longer a sport."

"Thomas you are not a sport to me!  That night in Bangkok when you were finally rid of your adventures you took me places I didn't know existed.  Don't tell me you mastered me and now are off to your next adventure."

"There you go Vicki, the want in your eyes is all I need to yield (moving his hand to his king and slowly toppling it to the board).  I think those gents can wait until tomorrow for a chukker.  Will your Queen now take my castle.  I believe I have not yet mastered you and our adventure is yet to be experienced."

Take a look at this sexy game between Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway from the 1968 version of the Thomas Crown Affair

Monday, June 24, 2013

Time Can't Afford No Time

Or Men are from Barbasol and Women are from Vidal Sasson

Ryan's Thoughts from a Salon Chair on a Few Differences between Men and Women

So I was at the salon getting my hair cut on Saturday afternoon.  You might be surprised that I am so concerned with my hair but I'll say that I was perfectly happy going to Floyd the Town Barber for several years until he decided to take his talents a little closer to the city.  So I was left with trying out the local salon in town which is still walking distance from my office.  There I met Shyahyn, the girl who has been cutting my hair for the past three years.  Her name is not really Shyahyn but I enjoy coming up with nouveau spellings of trendy names.  The salon is the "in" place for ladies to get styled in town.  The owner is very good which is why they go.  Shyahyn is pretty good as well but she has a nice smile and great tits which is why I go (see there is the first difference).

But my thoughts on today's post were spawned from a conversation I overheard Saturday between the owner and two young ladies, one of whom was getting her hair styled.  As I was driving home last night I thought about the experience and decided that this interaction was an excellent opportunity to produce a Ryan-esque turgid reflection on the difference between men and women!  :)

And I want to illustrate using faux dialogue:

Act I:  So How Would You Like Your Hair

Scene 1 - The Girls

Salon Owner - So honey what are we doing with this gorgeous hair today?

Girl 1 - You know I've really been thinking about going short, I love that Michelle Williams look.  Take a look at this, can you do this with my hair (showing Harper's Bizarre Magazine photo of several celebs).  Then again I really liked Gwynn Stefani's up bunn I saw on TMZ the other night.

Salon Owner - Do you think your fiancee will like the shorter look.

Girl 1 - Well you know he always says he likes my hair long and just keep it simple but I want to do something different and see how he likes it!  I'm so not sure.

Salon Owner - Oh honey he'll like you in anything!

Girl 2 - Yeah, she's right Beau loves you no matter what! (secretly knowing Beau won't like it because he told her he hated short hair while she was giving him a BJ three years ago - but she ain't volunteering that info).

Girl 1 - Well I want to look specatacular for the wedding announcement tea next Sunday so let's go with the Michelle look.

*  1.5 hours later the girls leave Girl 1 with a new hair style and mani-pedicure and Girl 2 with a list of 28 questions to ask the catering and florist about the upcoming wedding announcement tea.

Scene 2 - Dudes (Ryan)

Shyahyn - So what are we doing today, trimming it up?

Ryan - Yeah just the usual, it's getting hot.  If you have any thoughts go for it, you're the expert.

*  Thinking to himself - I really just want to get my hair shorter, relax in peace and quiet for the next 20 minutes, enjoy those long soft fingers running through my hair, and look at those nice beautiful tits (note Shyahyn usually wears a low cut blouse).  I wonder if that expert comment made any points?  Do you think I could get away with screwing my stylist?

Shyahyn - How does your wife like your hair?

Ryan - Urr, uhh, hmm, uhhh, short!  I think!?  I guess I'm not really sure, she never tells me so I guess she likes however I have it.  She mentioned something about Keanu Reeves once but I'm not sure; I guess I wasn't listening.

*  20 minutes later Ryan is done, pays for the cut, gives Shyahyn a $5 tip and goes.

Act II - Salon Dialogue, Guess Who's Coming for Dinner?

Scene 1 - The Girls

Girl 2 - I am not sure if I'm happy with this mascara I got yesterday at Ulta.  It's just not the right consistency, it's clumpy and it smudges!  I prefer the stuff I got from Sephora last time.

Girl 1 - OK, that's about you but today is about me!  We have to finish talking about my tea next month for all the bridesmaids.

*  Author's Note:  the real Girl 1 actually said that ("this is about me") in response to something her friend was saying, I kid you NOT!

Girl 2 - Hey I saw Giada did this lingonberry cous cous on endive that looked really cute.

Girl 1 - Ew, I'm not putting a piece of lettuce that looks like a purple penis into my mouth.

Girl 2 - OK so what do you want.

Girl 1 - I want some of those little cucumber sandwiches with vanilla infused honey sour cream spread and maybe some mini herbed asparagus puffs.

Girl 2 - Girl, that sounds so good.  But what about the invitations, I saw you invited Celine - you know she will probably show up with her bff Courtney.  That girl is trouble.

Girl 1 - Yeah at Hannah's engagement party she and Whitney's boyfriend went to the back and I just know she gave him a blow job - that slut!  And she ate half the chocolate dipped strawberries.  She kept eating the white chocolate one's and pretended she was licking some guys balls.

Girl 1/Girl 2 (in tandem) - Ewww.......

Girl 2 - But you have to invite Celine she is one of your maids-of-honor.

Girl 1 - OK she can come but I want you to make sure if Courtney comes over you occupy her, I don't want to be embarrassed.  Maybe you can get that weird guy Ryan from downstairs to come over.  I bet he wouldn't mind taking Courtney off our hands.  He's like Mickey - he'll eat anything.

Girl 2 - Girl, that Ryan would probably let Muffy (girl 1's shitza-poo) lick his balls.

Girl 1 - Ew, don't talk about Muffy that way!

Scene 2 - Dudes

Dude 1 - Dude we should get our posse together for game 7 tomorrow night.

Dude 2 - Yeah, let's get the dudes upstairs and those guys across the street.  Should we invite Ryan over?

Dude 1 - No that pussy will probably bring his girlfriend.  She won't let him take his dick anywhere without her.

Dude 2 - But he's our bro we shouldn't let a little thing like a girlfriend come between us?

Dude 1 - *uck him, that's his problem.  The last time his girlfriend was over she bitched the whole time about how gross the bathroom smelled and then she started throwing shit out of the 'fridge because she said it was out of date.  *uck that, I want to enjoy myself!

Dude 2 - OK, should we see if Carlton wants to come over?

Dude 1 - Dude, he's weird!

Dude 2 - Yeah but he works at the liquor store and he always bring over Jager!

Dude 1 - Cool, bring him over!  Make sure he brings the Jager.  Is he still dating that chick with the big tits?  She can come if she brings her friends.

Dude 2 - OK, I'll ask him.  What do you want to do for food.  I like sushi.

Dude 1 - Dude you're weird but if you insist on sucking down fish bait it's your life; I'm going for a bucket 'o KFC!

Dude 2 - OK, let's do it.

Hey, I should probably apologize for using those lyrics in the title.  If I had ever gotten caught listening to this band in high school I'd of probably got my ass beat.  But I've grown up, matured, and broadened my horizons.  And anyway is anybody who is reading this blog really looking for good taste?

But the band is called Hair Cut 100 a Brit band formed in 1980 that had two minor hits "Love Plus One" and "Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl)," which include the lyrics above.  It's a funny little song about putting on your favorite shirt and meeting and "hooking up" with a girl at your favorite club.

It posses an interesting question:  can time afford time?  I guess since time does not have any form of currency it really can't afford anything.  But I think this is a spiritual question.  Since any point of time only exists in the moment of said time it can therefore not afford to spend any time on anything since as soon as it's finished being time it's gone and of course can't afford anything.  So I guess they are right!  Time can't afford no time!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I Got a Girl

You know I have a rule of thumb I use when I have tough decisions.  It's the "sigh of relief rule."  Do whatever makes you breath a sigh of relief.  If you do what makes you breath a sigh of relief you are doing what is in your gut and you likely won't have regrets.

Problem is I never take my own best advice.  So when I can't use my first rule I go with a song to show me what to do.  Well, when it comes to me and girls that rarely works either but lets give it a try.

But first, I left you with a cliffhanger of sorts last month (or was it April) concerning an old e-mail queen friend of mine - Mrs. Decorator II.  Well in life we find out often we are who we are.  Mrs. Decorator is an e-mail queen.  That is who she was when I met her and no matter how much she said she wanted to see me that is who she remained.  But hey, it's good we can count on things staying the same like e-mail Queens, stupid Republicans, and the fact I'll always get a sunburn on my first day at the beach (psst...., I was on vacation two weeks ago which is why I have not been posting that much).

But let's analyze where I am.  And since I have no idea what the *uck I should do let's do it to a neo-psychodelic 90's punk band from Dallas.  You know the song (I Got a Girl) is not exactly "Hey Jude," but then I'm not exactly Dostoyevski.

I got a girl who lives with me                 Shannon
I got a girl she smells so sweetly             Sandee
I got a girl she loves her dog                   Sandee
I got a girl I love her dog too                   Sandee (he is very cute)
I got a girl who stares in the mirror          Shannon
I got a girl who blames it on her period   Shannon
I got a girl she is so right                          Shannon
I got a girl she's my guiding light             Shannon (or is it that she kicks my ass into the light)

Well I know, I need, I feel we're going higher and higher

I have a girl who loves good soul            Shannon (she can sing too)
I got a girl who dances the disco              Shannon (and oh can she move)
I got a girl who wears cool shoes             Sandee
I got a girl who wears them in the nude   Sandee
I got a girl who speaks her mind              Shannon
I got a girl who will argue anytime          Shannon
I got a girl she is so small                         Sandee
I got a girl she'll knock down any wall    Shannon

Well I know, I need, I fell we're going higher and higher

Get a load of this she's always bitching at me when I'm feeling down (Shannon)
Asking questions with her little frown

I can't take much much more of this, I'm out
Get a load of this she's always bitching at me when I'm feeling down (Shannon)
Asking questions with her little frown

I can't take much more of this, I'm out

I got a girl I love to kiss                            Sandee
I got a girl I never wanna miss                  Sandee/Shannon (the whole problem)
I got a girl who's my best friend                Sandee
I got a girl that won't even hold my hand  Shannon
I got a girl that makes me laugh                 Sandee
I got a girl I'll make her laugh too              Sandee
I got a girl she has girlfriends                     Sandee
I got a girl I like her girlfriends                  ???? (what guy cares unless they are hot)

Well I know, I need, I feel we're going higher and higher

I got a girl and she's got a guy                    Ryan

So what would you do?

Well May was oh so much fun.  It was finally nice outside so Sandee and I got back into kayaking as well as our secret missions to our secret island gettaway.  I remembered to take a towel this time so we had a place to land once on our secret island in the river, if you know what I mean.

On another day we went zip-lining at a nearby park.

After zip-lining we went for a walk in an adjacent park.   After a few paces Sandee just hugged me and said "thank you, Ryan, that was so much fun."  We walked for about a mile and sat down on a bench underneath some trees.  The beautiful park was below us and some Orioles were near chirping (probably mad at our presence).  Sandee thanked me again.  She sat on my lap and pressed a kiss to me.  She plunged her tongue into my mouth and kissed me deeply, practically swallowing me.  After a long kiss I looked into her eyes.  I am not so sure I have ever seen someone look back at me with the same level of warmth.  She was thankful but I don't think so much for the simple act of taking her zip lining but for putting together a day that she would enjoy and that she could enjoy with me.

I also really tried to be nice to Shannon.  We actually went for some evening walks and she joined me on a wine tasting event.  But each time things seemed kinder and gentler the wall went up as soon as I tried to kiss her or even just hug her.  The message was clear, detente was all that was desired.

Bottom line, I felt like a jerk.  I'm just not the type of guy who can have the type of day above with Sandee and then come home and feel good about hugging and kissing my wife (even if both ladies are incredibly hot).  I needed to come to some conclusions.

Of course in this limbo us guys can drift at times.  Perhaps there was a third option, easier and more fun.  Perhaps I could go rogue like John Cusack in "Say Anything," piloting a solitary blogging ship chasing new ladies and new adventures leaving all this emotional stress behind.

Yes, that's it; let's just focus on blogging - and we need more stuff.

How might we do that; this AM and POF stuff seems kind of stale anymore doesn't it.  That's right you'd check out Facebook because somebody you know mentioned they knew Alecia and you were curious.  And so you wrote her a note on Facebook just saying hi.  And omg a few days later, she friended you!  And omg, when you didn't respond to her friend request she sent you a note 2 days later asking why you didn't.  And so you accepted the friend request.  And then you saw her on FB one day and started "chatting."  And then you mentioned getting together for a drink and she said yes.

OMG, that's not in that song.  WTF Ryan, can't you do anything simply!

Friday, June 14, 2013

FFF - Bewildered

Don't sit there looking bewildered get your butt over to Advizor's Blog and starting doing some FFF'ing!
My building is crazy!  There's the old Jewish couple that yell at each other every morning from 7 - 8 am, the artist upstairs with her unending chain of dirbag boyfriends, the bartender above me that nails different MILFs each Friday night after Happy Hour, and of course me; the one person who works 9 to 5 with aspirations of climbing tax brackets.  Heck, the only outwardly normal people in this environment are Freddy and Blake, the 50-something gay couple that run the jewelry store on the corner.  They're like the Ozzy and Harriet of the building.
But God-love 'em they threw that wonderful Bastille Day party where I finally met Jake.  Jake lived across the hall and I'd been eyeballing him for several months.  He was very quiet, just walked out with his bike every morning around 8 am.  That night, at the party, was the first time I really ever spoke to him.
After my second Chardonnay I was feeling pretty frisky and those Abs under Jake's tee shirt were looking a whole lot tastier than Freddy and Blake's cheese pairings and radicchio tacos.  Once Jake started talking about his bikes I just batted my eye lashes a few times and flashed my baby blues at him and said "I'd love to see your Schwinn!"
Once inside Jake's apartment I was pretty disgusted by what a bike repair shop/single guy's apartment looks like.  But hey, it didn't distract me from what Jake's 50 mile a day biker ass looked like.  I decided to skip the apartment tour and get right to a "tour de Jake."  Jake mounted me like a fine rider taking Courchevel.
The next morning Jake was such a gentleman.  He said he wanted to fix breakfast for me.  Unfortunately I noticed the night before that cuisine du Jake along with a month of coffee grounds were on the floor of that kitchen.  I told Jake, "honey you are sexy and that is so sweet but there is no way in hell these pedicured feet are walking across that kitchen floor; but I have an idea."  I stepped into a pair of slipper I assumed were his (it's so sexy wearing a guy's apparel the next morning) and headed right over to my apartment where sanitation is a core value.  I came back with a handful of swiffer pads and, buck naked, immediately brought Jake's breakfast nook up to community health standards.  Hey, Jake is a major hottie but a girl has to maintain standards.

Blake and Freddy
Walking down the hall naked you ask?  Hey this is New York, the Jewish couple was walking out the door amid their morning rant.  Freddy and Blake took one look and then swifly turned away muttering "passed on the Queso last night but I see she didn't pass on the cream puff!"

Author's Note:  damn Ad where did you find that picture! That may well be the most perfect ass I've ever seen.  You know my criterion for the perfect ass is if you can see just a little sunshine below the break in the ass cheeks and the upper thighs.  That little ray of sunshine says everything curves just right!  I know, I know I tend to notice the odd things but I appreciate an attention to detail!  :)

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Ryan's Repeats - Her Name was Ann and I'll Be Damned

I just wanted to re-post this post as a illustration of how this blog affects me in strange and silly ways.  About two years ago Terry Nunn (former lead singer to Berlin) was a guest of Richard Blade's on XM Radio's First Wave.  I've mentioned several times how much I like Richard Blade's show on this blog.  Terry Nunn, btw, dated Richard Blade back in the day.  Anyway, Terry was playing her favorite songs from the 80's and played a song by a band that sounded like "plastic baton (as I heard her)."  Though rather kitschy I liked the song.  It was like a Euro New Wave/punk band crashed into Jan and Dean.  I searched and searched for "plastic baton" but could never find them.  Several months later I heard Richard Blade playing a band called Nouvelle Vague that sings 80's songs to a "Lounge" rhythm.  Later that day I looked them up as I wanted to feature them as one of my daily songs on the blog.  As I searched through their songs lo and behold I found a band called Plastic Bertrand and there was my song from Terry's show.  See wasting time always produces good results!
Anyway I didn't completely use that song for this post but it did add some nice flavor on the back end to emphasize the ending to my story.
In fact I had really written this post several months before I published it.  This was one of those stories I had longed to write.  In writing this blog I often have more fun writing about the trials and tribulations of relationships than I do the successes.  After all isn't the pursuit of excellence that makes us great.  Actually I think it was Vince Lombardi that said in chasing perfection we catch excellence.  Well excellence is not part of this story but this was a fun night and I wanted to write about it.  It just took me some time to find when and where was the best place.  This is also one of those instances where the girl's name really is Ann.  How could I make up a name when this Gordon Lightfoot song fits so well.  And I do love Gordo so....
Btw as I searched for plastic baton I found several illicit sites on how to make pipe bombs with plastique.  I'm sure the FBI is after me now to break up the ring of the lame and tacky plastic pibe bomb blogger.  Oh and check out all those links to Southern Culture on the Skids - dang I like the way they play a song!

Ryan's Repeats
from June 14th, 2012.......

Ryan's Retro Summer:

Past Adventure #3 - Ann (Ryan Tries on a Grunge Chick for Size)

First I have to say a word on the lyrics above from Gordon Lightfoot's song "Carefree Highway."  I obviously like a lot of different types of music but if I was ever stranded on an island and could only pick one artist to listen to the rest my life (I don't know why I would be facing that dilema but let's just go with it) I would probably pick Gordo.  Why does it fit here?  Well I guess meeting Ann was in a fairly carefree time in my life.  The lyrics go on to say "her name was Ann and I'll be damned if I recall her face; she left me not knowing what to do."  Well I do remember her face and I think most women leave me knowing exactly what to do, RUN!   :)

But then again I do want to live the life of one of those Gordon Lightfoot songs one day, running away with some hard-drinking Cannuck lass way back in the woods.

But her name is/was Ann and I love Gordon Lightfoot so there you go.

Actually it would be better to do something like this:

"the way you talk down to me sends a chill right down through me..."

Wait that would be more like Shannon and no this story is not about bondage and humiliation!  But that lyric does come from the Southern Culture on the Skids song "White Trash" and SCOTS will be a central figure in our "Ann" story.  Btw, if you ever get a chance to see SCOTS do it; damn they do an awesome version of "Rose Garden," and have a song about Banana Pudding!

So on to my Ann story:

"Her name was Ann and I'll be damned" that frat boys can create a great atmosphere for a "hook up."

Wait, that is an odd way to start?

OK let's start with this.  Ann was a roommate of three girls I knew from my fraternity (little sisters).  She was kind of "pixie-like" cute.  Probably about 5'5", thin, with short reddish hair and blue eyes.  Let's visualize her as a bit like Allison Hannigan from those American pie movies; that personality type suits Ann fairly well.  She was a bit geeky and quite demur.  She was an English major and played the part by wearing a lot of grey and black stuff with fluffy cashmire like sweaters.  Very brainy and colliagiate looking if you go to college in Seattle and hang out in coffee shops all day reading books of poetry by dead English poets who cut off their ears for women who wouldn't screw them (or am I getting that mixed up with French impressionists, idk).  But obviously she was just perfect for a dumb, jockish frat guy like moi.  But much like I am here I do like to dabble in a variety of activities so sometimes I liked to veer away from those "keggers" and catch an Alt-rock band like the Dead Milkmen or Love Tractor if they were passing by Big State U.

I knew Ann and had talked to her several times.  She was not very approachable and seemed perpetually in a bad mood.  But my obtusity often serves me well so I would talk to her when others had been shooed away because I was simply too stupid to be insulted by her brooding and sarcastic nature!   :)

I have no idea why she was at "THAT" bar that night.  It was THE signature fraternity bar at Big State U so she was certainly WAY out of her element.  It was packed inside and so me and my friend Unfortunate Dave were outside when we bumped into Jules and Kim (and Ann, obviously dragged along).  So we drank and talked on that balcony above the sand volleyball pits below.  At some point Dave, Jules, and Kim drifted off.  I think Ann was too scared to go inside so I stayed and talked to her.

And then it happened.  Opportunity in the form of a drunk Frat guy came in for a landing.  Yep this drunk guy walks outside with TKE sewed onto his chest, turns the corner, does an about-face, unzips his pants, pulls out his pecker, and starts pissing on the side of the building approximately 5 feet from where Ann and I stood.  He follows up his rather lengthy and volumous piss with a very loud belch and then turns to Ann, smiles, and says "what are you looking at bitch" upon seeing her frown!  Then Mr. TKE turned to go back into the bar leaving behind a very audible final salvo from his other end as he walked away!

Ann was visably disgussed and I could tell she could not get out of there fast enough.

And so the valliant Ryan says "hey Ann I think Southern Culture on the Skids is playing down at the *****; let's get outta here."

He shoots!  He scores!

A slight and begrudging smile broke across Ann's face and she said "sure," biting her lip as if to hide the fact that she might actually want to go somewhere with me.  We walked down the street to the ***** and that is where my brooding little grunge girl opened up.  We danced, drank, sang, fell on top of each other yada yada.  It was like a scene from a "brat pack" movie.  Later we just walked around town in the cool early spring air.  I took the bus home with her as I certainly wanted to make sure she got home safely (neither of us had driven and we had thankfully lost our rides).

Once at "her place" I was invited to crash on the couch for the night as I didn't live close by.  I said yes and thanks knowing full well my intention was NOT to sleep on the couch!

Well, I didn't sleep on the couch but I didn't get layed either, that night.  Plenty of kissing, etc.  But I broke through the next weekend after a nice hike at one of my favorite spots, followed by a dinner at one of my favorite spots up in the mountains which both preceded a very satisfying night (and following morning) of multi-dimensional sex.

Ann was mine from there on.  Well, at least for about 6 months until Bertrand that Commie Metrosexual Euro doctoral student tempted her with his Haiku or whatever the hell kind of weird writin' he was uh studying there at Big State U!  I don't know what is so damn sexy about a French accent and cigarette breath but chics seem to dig those Euro dudes in those skinny black jeans and turned up collars!

Anyway, I had a lot of fun with Ann.  I only have fond memories now.  I guess that is what I get for going to a Bastille Day Party (but the food was awesome).

Actually as cute as she was, she was a bit tentative in bed so to speak.  I know that sounds like sour grapes and it is.  But I'm just sayin'.    :)

I actually don't remember that Euro guy's name I just used that name as an excuse to upload this video of Plastic Bertrand - nothing like French New Wave/Punk set to beach music; kind of like the Beach Boys meets Valley Girl!  Btw, France if you are out there please translate for me!  I think this song is supposed to be about getting high.  And how in the hell do I get from Canadian folk music to southern red neck to French new wave - I must be smokin' crack!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Ryan's Repeats - 88 Lines About 44 Women (bloggers)

You know as I go through the blog I remember posts I forgot about.  Last month in a fit about comments I re-posted my Airline Meet 'n Seat post.  But last week when I was looking for a June, 2011 post to re-post I remembered this post which actually is the post that had the most legitimate comments. I also got a comment from Ms Inconspicuous which was always an even more special and rare treat than a comment from Riff.  I think the only comment I ever valued more was probably from Kimberly Errant Wife when I made her "lmfao!"  But I guess I'll have to get to that post next month.

But what I really enjoyed about reviewing this old post was remembering those past bloggers that (now so unfortunately long gone) were the "it" bloggers when I first started out.  Wow how I tried to emulate Riff and admired Ms I, Elle, Kim and how much I looked forward to posts from Holly.  I miss those days and I miss those bloggers but I do have fond memories.  Hopefully this is a nice way to remember as well.

But really some advice here, nothing gets comments like mentioning other bloggers and putting links to everyone's blog.  Maybe that's why I got so many comments on this post.  I guess maybe that goes along with that "attracting more bees with honey" thing I heard once.

Anyway this is a cute but rather silly song.  I can only hope you think the same of this blog!  :)

Author's note:  as I was writing this post I was also thinking about that Jim Carroll song "These are the People Who Died."  Jim Carroll btw is the author of the autobiography "The Basketball Diaries" that was later made into a movie and starred Leo DiCaprio as Carroll.  More useless info from Ryan I guess!

But I finished this song with the lyrics mentioning Holly as I always felt a kindred spirit with her.  That Jim Carroll song ends with the lyrics "and Eddie I miss you more than all the others and I salute you brother; this song is for you my brother."

And so for all those old bloggers this song (and post) is for you my brothers!  :)

Ryan's Repeat
from June 20th, 2011........

The other day Richard Blade from XM's First Wave played the song below by the Nails.  Please take a quick listen to get the rhythm.  Rarely in my life do moments of inspiration occur for me, let's face it - I'm not that deep!  But by the end of the ride I decided that I owed the world and more importantly the women of the bloggosphere an Ode!  So soon I started to mentally write my version of 88 Lines about 36 Women (& 24 Bloggers) - my ode to some of the ladies who inspire me!

88 Lines About 36 Women (& 24 Bloggers)
by Ryan B

Belle Amie was the first to Follow
Now I'm sure she doth think me Hollow
Kimberly was my first girl blog desire
If I could have her I know I would retire
Jane you are so non-PC
You must think me a complete weenie
Misty one day I'll see you at the track
If I do I probably won't come back

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Southern Red I love your town
I'm just so glad you didn't drown
Agnes why are you so fraught
Come stay with me I'll make sure we don't get caught
Scarlett your boy names sound so English
Ryan's Irish how'd you like that dish 
Wave Rider that profile pic is fun, it fills me with glee
I drive right past it don't you see

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Rocker Girl that girl is you
What's on your mind tell me true
Ella I like when you write of the Shire
I'd be glad to jump on, I'm for hire
J you seem to like your vodka
Wow, nothing rhymes just let me be your Screwdriva'
Me you say you want some suga'
Change that to salt and chase me down with tequila

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Lady Inconspicuous I love that you like bluegrass
But my o' my you have one fine as. (pair of eyes) :)
Elle you are so young and fine
If I were not so old I'd make you mine
Coquette if Riff is not enough for you
Fly to DC, we know how to screw
And Riff some say you are a gal
So that is why I include you now

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Pocket Rocketz your FFF's are fun
But don't let that mascara run
Suburban Mom I'm sure you're hot
But I'm a foodie too, I enjoy reading what's in your pot
Dusty Bunny your blog is a bit creepy
Counting down to Halloween I see, I still read it with glee
Sadie, wow you wrote the book
Now what can I do to get a look

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

OK so since I don't read enough
Let's search my blog to get more stuff
Miranda you seemed so cute and sassy
A secret pic from your wedding now that was classy
Beach Bunny you're always online
I write and write to no reply
Suzanne you said I was an ass
I'm sure you're not to be the last

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Ciao Bella you really like your shoes
I wish I could've taken off those Jimmy Choos
E Red you want a Sugar Daddy
I'm not real liquid but I know you'd like this laddy
Brian are you looking for the walrus?
That was John but what about us
Renee sometimes I still see you at the gym
No rhyme hear 'cause in my mind I just say damn your fine

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Alecia you never did say no
You just didn't tell me where to go
Sandra thanks for all you do
Yeah that's an easy rhyme 'cause I surely like doing it with you
Leah you love to chat and chat
I wonder if you'd actually come back
Keeley ooh I loved that accent it was a wonder
You made me enjoy it all down under

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Spring Flower I wrote about your dreams
Now I want to make you scream
GLNO for some reason your travels seem like my wife
but its no cause I think for strife
Cracklin' Rosie your a store bought woman
but you make me sing like a guitar hummin'
Sorry Rosie I didn't mean to steal
'Cause your comments always keep it real

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

 Shannon dear I list you here
But you truly make me need to drink a beer
Because I take all your shit
Surely you'd let me lick your clit
And since I just cut the grass
Why oh why can't I have some (gl)ass
Ah but dear you are still so fine
I wish I still enjoyed you slowly like sweet red wine

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Kat you know you have such class
You tell us how to *uck your ass
And I know your always on the prowl
One day I would like to make you howl
Holly I save you for last
'cause reading you I always have a blast
But Holly dear I think I like you best
One day you might just be my quest

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Hey, I'm on Facebook now!!/profile.php?id=100002464477196
You ever notice how this blog always seems to post things right after Riff posts something???  Don't you just hate a shameless leech!  :)  Hey, and I just moved up to reading on a 5th grade level so if I missed you be patient, I'm trying to catch up - I'm sure I can come up with more stupid lyrics somewhere down the road!