Saturday, December 31, 2011

Should Old Acquaintance be Forgot

That song poses an interesting question.  Should old friends be forgotten around the holidays.  I'm sure there are some women out there that would like to forget Ryan!

But for those who can't help but remember me; after all you are here, right!

Happy New Year!

And I promise that 2012 will be an active an entertaining year here; hope your's is as well!

But my final post of 2011 is not about sex unfortunately.  After all how many of my posts ever are really!  No, I'll throw one more food post at you.

But do keep an eye out.  There may be some new adventures on the horizon in those first weeks of the new year!

Today I give you a traditional and easy New Year's Day meal in the Deep South!

Our Menu:

Glazed Ham
Hoppin' John (Blackeyed Peas are considered good luck if eaten on New Year's Day)
     I would certainly consider it good luck to eat Fergie from the Blackeyed Peas!   :)
Collard Greens (southern style)
*  Note:  cook ham off early so you can remove bone and drippings for use in Hoppin' John and Collard Green recipes.

Glazed Ham:
1 Black Oak or Honey Baked Ham
1 Cup of Brown Sugar
Half Cup of Honey
Ham Drippings
1 Tbs Grated Orange Peel
1 Can of Peach Halves
2 Tbs of Butter

*     Slow cook ham on 250 for about 1 hour.
*     After one hour remove at least 1 Tbs of drippings
*     In pot melt butter and then stir in brown sugar, drippings, honey, peaches, and orange peel.
*     Pour glaze over ham until ham cooked.  Cook ham about 20 minutes per pound.

Hoppin' John:
1 Tbs Olive Oil
1 Ham Hock (or fat from your ham)
1 Cup of Chopped Onions
Half Cup of Chopped Celery
Half Cup of Chopped Green Pepper
1 Tbs Chopped Fresh Garlic
1# of Rinsed Blackeyed Peas Soaked Overnight
Dripping from Ham
1 Bay Leaf
1 tsp Thyme
Salt, Black Pepper, and Cayenne
3 Tbs finely Chopped Green Onions
3 Cups of Steamed Rice

*     Heat oil and ham bone in large stock pot.
*     Add onions, green peppers, celery, garlic & cook until tender.
*     Add blackeyed peas, ham drippings, one qrt of water, & spices.
*     Bring mixture to boil & simmer until peas soft (about 40 mins).
*     Serve over rice and garnish with green onions.

Collard Greens:
2 Large Heads of Collard Greens
2 Tbs Olive Oil
1 Slab of Salt Pork (or ham bone/fat from your New Year's Day ham)
1 Small Onion thinly sliced
Pinch of Allspice
Salt & Ground Pepper
Drippings from the ham
1.5 Tbs Red Wine Vinegar

*    Rinse Collards thoroughly and cut out rough stem and chop roughly.
*    Heat olive oil, salt pork or ham bone, and drippings in large stock pot.
*    When oil is hot add onions and cook until tender.
*    Add collard green, allspice, and salt & pepper to taste.
*    Cover and cook on medium for about 45 minutes until tender.
*    Add vinegar at the end just before serving.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

One More Cup of Coffee 'for I Go

A Generational Analysis of Coffee

I have mentioned in my blog that I work in the hospitality industry and from my many food posts you can see I am a bit of a "foodie."  And if you are in the food business in the US it stands to reason that coffee will be a part of your life.  Coffee is a big part of my life.  I like to drink it and I see a lot of people buying it every day at work.  But in my line of work you just don't serve people you tend to scrutinize and analyze how people consume.  I am a BIG TIME people watcher - I love it, it often consumes me.

And NO, it's not just looking at hot girls asses - I do sometimes (rarely) actually do work and think about relevant things.

So one of the relevant things I have been thinking about is how coffee defines us and particularly our generations.  Again, if you have read my blog you will know another thing I love is generational theory.

So I have come up with a few observations about the various generations and their coffee habits, a bit tongue and cheek of course!   :)

The Elderly (GI and Silent Generation):
Their first reaction will be bewilderment that a small is now 16 ounces; twice the size of what they used to drink back in the day out of a china cup!  And don't even get me started when you ask them about a rewards or punch card; that will lead into a lengthy Q&A that can go on infinitely.  Next, they will now spend several minutes talking about drinking coffee at the drug store counter with their sweetheart yada, yada.  They will then say that if they drink all of this coffee they will be peeing all afternoon.  That will lead to a conversation about the liver pills they need to get this afternoon and their proctologist appointment next Thursday.  All while the rest of us wait to pay for our coffee!

After that they will proceed over to the condiment stand.  They won't have any clue what to do; all they want is cream and sugar.  But here they have hazelnut, white chocolate truffle and 15 other creams and 10 different types of sugar and sweeteners not to mention Cinnamon, ginger, soy milk, and protein powder.  After discussing that they never had all these choices they will get frustrated and then sigh and walk away and say they will just drink it black and muttering that they need to get to a phone so they can call to make an appointment!

Baby Boomers:
You have to understand that Baby Boomers assume whatever they are doing is exact what everyone else is waiting for them to do it and that we are fascinated with anything they have to say.

So as they pump their coffee they will be telling you why this currency manipulation is screwing with the stock market and that the government just needs to get off of my back and leave my government backed social security and medicare I'm about to get alone!

Then they start to fumble with the condiments (they are vaguely familiar with choice here it's just that they can't read the flavors on those small creamers as they are not wearing their reading glasses).  Then they will start discussing that their doctor has them on no sugar and dairy so you have to point out the right sweetener and soy milk for them.  Somewhere along here they may start talking about their stock portfolio or maybe complain about the cost of their daughter's college tuition to Sweetbriar Equestrian Institute for Spoiled Former Lap-babies.

Anyway, this will go on all day or until their Admin calls and tells them they are in a meeting in 15 minutes.

The Youngsters (Millineals and Generation Next):
Not relevant but cute!
The first challenge is getting their 'effing attention and finding the right punch card for this Bistro; they will have been on their IPod/phone and won't start looking until they realize that reality is a cashier waiting on them.  Once they have their cup they will begin pouring.  Half way through they will realized that they need to text all their friends that the Bistro has Pumpkin Spice today.  That will remind them to post the fact that the Bistro has Pumpkin Spice to their Facebook page.  Then they will remember that they have been meaning to download that Barista app for their IPhone - which they will now do even though there are 10 people waiting for coffee now.  Once the app is through they finish filling their coffee.  Now they step over to the condiments.  They sigh in disgust because there are only 15 flavors of creamer (note generational difference between this generation and the Silents above)!  Then they stammer "OMG, they are out of anise infused sugar - I can't drink this shit now!"  As they walk away in disgust they tweet to all their friends "OMG, the Bistro is out of anise infused sugar wtf!"  :(

Their IPhone buzzes with a text from their mom reminding them of their dentist appointment that afternoon.

Gen X'ers:
Us Gen X'ers are serious about our coffee; us and all those grunger dudes in Seattle started this whole revolution if you don't know.

Rather than just simply bragging about my generation, I'll just give you a rundown of what I do.  After all, like my Gen X brethren I am an independent kind of dude!  First, I have my punch card ready with exact change because I know the price and I want to get this done ASAP - I have to be at ballet for pick-up in 10 minutes.  Next, I'm a "march to the beat of a different drummer" kind of guy so I go to the condiments first and put in my 2.5 pumps of regular cream and 2 Splendas in first.  You see, this way the warmth of the coffee mixes the condiments as I pour thus saving me 5 seconds of my life by eliminating the stirring.  You ask, what happens if they are out of Splenda.  Hey, I said I am a watcher - trust me I know where they keep the Splenda.  I've been known to restock cups and make my own pot of coffee, I'm in a hurry and I ain't waitin' on the Barista to stop hitting on that young Gen Y chick!

Next, I reach around that Millennial with his thumb up his butt whilst tweeting.  I can get to the Jamaican Blue Mountain or the Costa Rican Peaberry and pour my cup before they even realize what I'm doing (note, sometimes when I am in a flavor mood I may splash in a little Mountain Blueberry).  And so I am off in less than a minute and four minutes before my Droid tells me I'm late for pick-up and the counter is restocked with Splenda.  Now who said Gen X was not out to make the world a better place!    :)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Where North Carolina Comes Close to the Stars

Merry Christmas!

And to my readers a haunting and sexy Christmas tale with characters shamelessly ripped off from that beautiful Civil War epic tale "Cold Mountain," meshed inelegantly with a theme stolen from a 1960's sitcom the Ghost and Mrs. Muir, and finally influenced by a Tony Rice song Carolina Star.  Who but a delightfully shallow fellow like myself could pull those together.

And before you go thinking that I'm blogging on Christmas Day, I wrote this 2 months ago and auto-posted.  I hope you're reading this on Dec. 26th!  :)

On a snowy night in the hills of Western North Carolina.....

Ada gazed out of the window onto the snowy moonlit mountain as she finished washing the last of the dinner plates.  In the background Georgia and Stobrod were finishing up a merry Christmas jig as Ruby and Grace danced in front of the fire.  But Ada was thinking about him.  It was often at these peaceful times she did think of him.  Farm days tend to be too busy to fret over who you miss.  But now she could see him, smell him, and imagine how he felt so long ago.

Suddenly a burst of wind pushed the window open in front of where she was working at her plates and a blackbird she had not seen before flapped quickly off the window seal.  She gasped and started to yell but her voice was muffled by the rush of the wind and a faint whisper she could barely hear.  But, she had distinctly heard "I am here for you" as the blustery wind brushed past her face.   She shook her head, was she crazy?  It did sound like him calling to her.  She did not linger on the thought and shut the window quickly forcing out the cold of the night.

Grace shuffled over to her, "what happened momma" she said.  "Oh nothin' darlin', just that old wind letting us know he's out there."

Grace then said "tell me a story about papa!"

"No darlin' not now" said Ada.  "It's time for bed and you better get ready or Santa is just goin' to fly right over this here mountain!  Go now and wash up and then we'll read a quick story, hurry now!"

Once Grace was ready for bed Ada read her "A Visit from St. Nicholas."  She had seen it many years ago in the newspaper and her dad had picked up a copy for her long ago in Charleston.  But as she read she couldn't help but imagine a Christmas with Inman.  She finished and Grace pressed her for another story but Ada insisted she turn out the lamp.  Just as she blew out the oil lamp she looked up and saw another blackbird at the window seal.  "My my" she thought, "what is a blackbird doing around these parts in this weather and at this time of year?"

She looked down at Grace's angelic face (still visable in the light of the moon).  As Grace fell into sleep she said "momma, do you think papa still loves us?"  "Yes" said Ada, "he is always with us, now good night and sweet dreams."  She kissed Grace on the forehead and then walked back to her room and took a seat next to her bed and began reading next to the flicker of her oil lamp.  She yawned and was tired but still felt restless from the wind, reading always calmed her soul.

Ada woke up with a jerk.  She thought she heard a sound and it felt like it was coming from outside of the kitchen.  She must have drifted off to sleep.  Was it that wind coming through the window again?  She walked to the kitchen and looked out of that same window above the sink and out onto the snowy night.  

And then she saw a shadowy figure approaching the house.  Her first impulse was to get the shotgun.  But the figure looked familiar.  She pulled on her shawl and went outside.  The figure got closer, she felt pulled toward it as if by a force she didn't know.  She was not but the length of a horse stall away when the figure, a man, finally looked up at her.

"Inman" she cried!  The figure smiled at her.  "Ada, it really is you; I have travelled so far to see you, do you recognize me under all this North Carolina clay" the figure said to her.  But she knew the figure was her Inman.

He walked up to her briskly.  As he got close she flung herself onto him.  They embraced and he pressed a kiss to her mouth.  It was freezing and yet with his warmth she was immediately on fire.  She had to pull back gasping.  Inman said "I'm sorry my love, what's wrong?"  Ada giggled with embarrassment and said "oh my Inman, you still take my breath away."

"Come inside dear," Ada said to him "you look half frozen and I don't think you have eaten in an age, let me get something together for you."

Inman said "don't worry my love I only hunger for you, I don't have long - I am here for you."  Ada was not sure what he meant but was sure he was crazy from cold and hunger.  She took him by the hand and led him inside.  "Do you need to sit by the fire a spell?"  Ada said.  "No my love, the others can't see me like this."  Ada was sorry that Inman was ashamed of his appearance, to her he was as dashing as ever.  "I could run a bath for you Inman if it pleases you but the cold air may catch you your death" Ada exclaimed.  Inman shook his head saying, "if my poor figure is not a fright to you, I only wish to be near you just now."  She led him down the hall to her room turning and saying "OK, my love you do look like you could use a warm soft bed and a good night's sleep."

Once inside her room, emotion took over.  She felt his chest with the tips of her fingers and her fingers instinctively moved inside his shirt.  She pulled off that shirt and brought him close and kissed him.  Ada couldn't pull him close enough, she longed to be at one with him.  She stepped back slightly and untied her nightshirt and it fell softly to her feet.  She stood before him naked but felt clothed by his presence.  She pushed the sheets aside and they laid down together.  He moved over to her kissing her.  The feel of him inside of her was hypnotic.  They moved together as one, lovers frantically wanting to pull themselves together as if simply touching was not enough.  Soon she cried out in delight, their passion melting them together.  

After, she just laid her chin on his chest moving her fingers through the curls of his hair and they stared into each other's eyes.  He gently stroked her hair.  Nothing was said, Ada only wanted to savor the moment as if knowing she needed to gather this picture in her mind to save it forever.

Ada yawned as Inman quietly said "good night my love."  They fell peacefully asleep in each other's arms.

The sunrise over the mountain woke her.  "Inman," she sighed, and she rolled over, but only her pillow was there.  "My gracious" she thought, "what time is it that the sun has beaten me up."  But soon, she heard the sound of little feet rapidly approaching.  Grace burst through the door.  "Momma, it's Christmas it's Christmas momma; get up, get up.  Oh, momma don't you know, I had the most wonderful dream of papa last night!  Come on momma, get up do you think Santa came to Cold Mountain last night?"

Soon Ada was awash in the sound and smells of Christmas morning.  To much was going on now to think about last night.  What had happened, was it Inman?  Was it a stranger?  She saw no sign of him and nobody was speaking of him or any stranger who had visited in the night.

The day passed quickly with Christmas supper cooking going on all day.  Georgia, Stobrod, and the children tended to the animals so that Ruby and Ada could stay in the kitchen.  The meal was delightful. Georgia had shot the last big fat turkey of the season and everyone enjoyed the big meal.  For all that had been lost over the years it was times like this that Ada realized all that was left to live for.  She sat back after dinner and enjoyed Georgia at the guitar and Stobrod at the fiddle while Grace whirled in circles about the room.  They stopped only to exchange gifts and then set back to dancing and singing.

Finally, Ada told Grace it was time for bed.  Grace protested "oh momma, just one more dance."  Stobrod chimed in and said, "Ada be a gem, it's Christmas."  As Grace glided across the room she stopped at a small object stuck behind the Christmas tree.  Grace exclaimed "momma, it's another present!"  "What is it, darlin'" Ada asked as Grace pulled the object out for all to see.  It was a blackbird marionette.  Grace, squealed with glee "it's a birdie, see" as she whirled around with her new-found toy.  Ruby leaned toward Ada and whispered "I don't remember makin' no blackbird doll for my Gracy, you reckon ole' Santie Clause really was here on Cold Mountain last night?"  Ada smiled and said "perhaps he was."

As Ada put Grace to sleep that night she asked her "so what was this dream all about, darlin'?"  "Oh momma, I dreamed papa finally came back from the war; he dressed up like Father Christmas and brought presents.  He said he couldn't stay long but wanted to let us know he loved us and that we were always on his mind.  Tell me about him, momma."

Staring out of the window Ada sighed and said "OK darlin', you know he was the handsomest man in all these Carolina hills and although he was quiet I could always tell what he was thinking.  And he knew what was going through my mind.  We didn't need words, we just knew."  Ada now looked down at Grace; she had drifted off to sleep clutching her blackbird, a gentle smile on her face.

"Good night darlin', momma loves you" Ada said to her sleeping daughter as she knelt down and stroked her red hair.

After everyone was in bed and asleep Ada once again put on her shawl and walked out into the moonlit night.

She looked up and caught the sight of a single blackbird flying south in the moon's light.  She sighed and said "good bye my love, thank you for coming to me one last time."

Take a listen to this beautiful ballad by Tony Rice, I believe it is my all-time favorite bluegrass song.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Or Crikey, Somebody is Actually Reading this!

Back somewhere in the early 20th century, or maybe just in the mid-80's I took the SAT's in preparation for college.  Now I'll admit I am no braniac, I got 1090 both times.  But the SAT allows you to take the top score on each part of the test; top math and top verbal.  One time I did better on math, one time I did better on verbal.  Collectively I ended up with an 1110 (math = 560, verbal = 550).  So basically I am a right down the center, average, vanilla guy.

It's funny, my blog-friend Kat was once paying me a compliment by saying that you never know what you'll find on my blog.  That is true to a point because I use lyrics as my titles not titles such as "Not Getting Laid Today" or "Ditched Again!"

But in reviewing my blog in celebration of my blogaversary the other week I noticed the same consistent trends that I have always had in my life.  I guess blogging does reflect reality.

To date I have written 158 posts (including today's).  The most posts I have written in a month is 14 on 5 occasions.  The least I have written in a month is 10 on two occasions which happened to be the first two months of my blog.  That's an average of 12.3 posts/month with almost no random error in the distribution. 

In most cases I'll post something about my own current (really 8 months past) situation or over the past year my Shannon story early in the week and then some type of observation later in the week.  If something else hits me or I like a TMI or FFF I add that as well.  But basically I was amazed to see that I seem to hit par each month; month after month.

Again, just a boring old, average, vanilla guy.  Which amazingly enough is what I was trying to show when I decided to start this blog.  An average Joe's experiences in this new information highway of infidelity!

Hmmm... what else do I want to say today.  Or really want to say last Tuesday as this is an autopost, currently I am actually in-route to a ski vacation!   :)

Well, I guess my advice to bloggers is as follows, (and you have to understand this is coming from a guy who has no other blogs and is doing this for the first time) take it easy.  Enjoy this and don't burn out - it can really be fun over the long haul and it just keeps getting funner and funner (hey remember I only got a 550 verbal).

I would say if you want to get recognized comment on and join other blogs and link your favorite blogs to your blog.  I think there is often a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" code.  I certainly have to thank Riff for adding me to his blog roll; nothing drives hits like a new Riff Dog post.  But Kat, Mrs. I, Elle, and many others have been great to add me to their rolls and have driven a lot of traffic my way.  Share information as well.  One thing I LOVE to do is send a picture or an article to one of my blog friends that I think will fit their blog better than mine.  I get no greater pleasure than seeing something I sent to a fellow blogger on their blog!

Oh yeah, and sex sells too.  Make a note of that Ryan - more sex in 2012, it always drives hits!  Wait, would sheep count too?

Monday, December 19, 2011

Nothing's Entangled or Twisted or Wrenched

I am sure it comes as no surprise that I am not exactly the world's most spiritual person.  And I don't mean religion here.  I mean I'm not really a person that looks at crystals or thinks about fate.  No, I'm a live and let live kind of guy and as long as my teams are winning and I'm getting laid occasionally that is about all their is in life for me.  Bottom line = I'm not too deep!  Other than my daughters of course; they are what's most important!  But they are perfect so I don't need to worry much about them.

But at times one must ponder deep thoughts.  I do like the concept of feng shui (balance).  I think it is very important to us folks in this genre.  We have chosen to stray but how much straying is acceptable or more importantly good for you (and others)? It was so relaxing after I first met Alisha, thinking I had found somebody and didn't need to log onto AM anymore.  Of course she ditched me and then I found Sandra.  Again, I felt relaxed knowing I didn't need to "look"anymore.  But of course I did and found Keeley.  And then when I had found two women I realized that it can be too much.  So Keeley and I went our separate ways.  Btw, those links above will take you straight to the sex posts (I'm courteous that way).

But of course by then I found I enjoyed the chase!  And so after Keeley I continued writing to women on AM.  But through the early winter, 2011 most of my encounters were of the e-mail queen variety.  Soon, as I got into blogging, I started to become a little bored with AM.  And let's face it, the interaction with other bloggers was starting to fulfill some of that feng shui.  Through most of spring, 2011 I visited AM very infrequently and was on somewhat of a losing streak; but in truth I was not investing much effort in the process.

And so after three paragraphs I get to my point of the day.  As I was anticipating things going downhill with Sandra and I was becoming a little frustrated with AM I decided to take a little detour.   Change teams if you will and hoping I don't turn out like a Brett Favre!  So I decided to go down the Plenty of Fish path.  I had read about other bloggers trying it so I thought I would test my luck.  Btw those lyrics above are from that hippie faux Grateful Dead band Phish - I liked the connection.

Today's Point:     Plenty of Fish vs Ashley Madison

So on one late July day when I didn't have a whole lot to do I signed up.  Navigating through POF, it seemed as if you could accomplish a fair amount of research without putting any money down - that is a good.  I also found out that you can actually send a message (more than a wink) without putting any money down - that is a good.  And later, I found out that you can get a message back without putting any money down - that is a good.  And I even found out that the women on POF seem to be a little more forward as I was getting some nods or winks or whatever it is they do on POF; far more than I had ever gotten on AM and that was good.

And lo and behold even one of my old e-mail queens from AM (Lonely in DC) sent me an unsolicited note!  This was looking fairly good!  I did renew my e-mail conversation with Lonely for about a week but again she faded away.

I seemed like I had a real good batting average.  A lot of women wrote back and wrote a few times but I never could get to the e-mail stage.  What I found was that the pool of married but looking was not very deep or at least attractively deep and attractively deep and in my general  area.  Once you did a detailed search other women would pop up above.  Those women always looked vastly more interesting but when you looked at their profile they were invariably not looking for married men.

In the end POF seemed like a lot of wheel spinning.  I guess a few dollars would have greased the wheels a bit but again it was a monthly fee.  I am very much against a monthly fee because as I have found out it is hell to cancel once you start it.  In the end you have to communicate with someone in India or Antarctica to cancel it and it takes several phone calls and it usually doesn't get done the first time around.  Since I had been down that path before with other sites I just wasn't in the mood to try with POF.

I also got the feeling that some of the single gals appeared a bit hookerish.  I guess I shouldn't be so judgemental but as Chris Rock says "you may not be a hooker but you're sure wearing the uniform!"  This one lady I wrote to was wearing a football jersey cut off just below her breasts, had on skin tight shorts, had that "eye black" under her eyes, and was carrying a football.  Hot girl + like's football = Ryan  Interested.  But when I mentioned my normal Nutcracker dancing stuff she replied "tell me about this nutcrackin'"  Wow, when I get turned off because of lack of culture it's getting bad!

And so like that Phish song I got Nothing..........

Any thoughts/experiences out there on the pros/cons of POF vs. AM?

But notice I still don't have a link to Ashley Madison so I am still not on their payroll.  It's a feng shui thing; once I start taking money for any of this blogging stuff I lose the artsy appeal of it all!  :)

And in the end I am a man of my art.  Wait Ryan, you started this by saying how shallow you were and now you are trying to tell them how artsy you are - what kind of idiot are you!  :)

Anyway, remember how on Friday I was talking about how fast blog time goes.  Well, I was just in December, 2010 a few weeks ago in my blog and now I have sped forward to August, 2011 - wow how time flies out here.

I wonder if anything interesting has happened since August????

Friday, December 16, 2011

So Don't Be Unkind, it's All in My Mind

I mentioned in one of my Keeley posts that Sandra had sent me a note once saying "where did you go" when I had been absent for awhile.  It was not checking up on me, just a gentle nudge to make sure I was still out there.

With all her issues I just felt I should give her some space and see what happened.

My friend Kat has mentioned that blog and cyber-time is very different from reality.  I think it's like converting dog years to human years.  The time just goes much more quickly.  It may not seem like a long time to wait a week or two to e-mail someone.  But in cyber-time that is an eternity.

So as late July melted into August and as I just kept putting off e-mailing Sandra and as I never saw an e-mail in my inbox from her it started to become apparent that we were both moving on.

And I am not sure if I should say Sandra disappeared or if Ryan disappeared but in the end there was not reason to be unkind much was probably in my mind.  But regardless as we approached the end of summer, it was time to move on.  But Sandra is an awesome person and made me feel very good about myself.  I can only hope she thinks of me well also.

Btw, please note that I like the song but I don't wear make-up!  :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

On the First Day of Christmas My True Love

To my Blogging Friends (and particularly the ladies):

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 12 Trojan condoms

Eleven Pipas blowing (me)

Ten Ash Mad Credits

Nine Lady Bloggers Dancing

Eight Maids to Milk :)

Seven models swimming (naked)

Six new AM girls to lay

Five Boner Piiiiiilllllllls! (actually I really don't need those but it's the thought that counts!)

Four pearl necklaces (actually I gave them to her)

Three French kisses

Two Riff Dog posts (that would be a surprise)

And Kat, Kimberly, Elle, Mrs I, Naughty Kitty, Luna, France, Holly, etc, etc. in my Water Bed!!!!!!!!
If I left anyone out you're welcome as well!  :)

12 More Days to Christmas!

Monday, December 12, 2011

And if You Give Me an Hour I'll Show You how I Feel

The big intersection with opportunity unfortunately came and went for Sandra and I.  Doug left for his family reunion later than expected and the day he was gone I just couldn't get away from work.

Sandra didn't really push because issues with her daughter and more specifically her son-in-law were getting really heated and she often had to help out with the kids.

You know there are levels of dissatisfaction.  Each of the women I had met (at this point 4) had significant issues with their husbands including being distant/detached, having low sex drive, or just simply being boring.  But hearing about Sandra's son-in-law was a new level.  In a word, her daughter was going through abuse and I have to say I really didn't know what to say or offer.  If it was my daughter I would know my response and the guy would get a first hand and personal lesson on abuse from me that he would not soon forget!  But I felt bad because from Sandra's description her husband Doug had really stepped up to the plate and helped out.  In fact I think she was worried that Doug was going to use some of that Marine training on her son-in-law (in my mind he deserved it).  But of course nobody would want to see Doug in jail.  Bottom line though, I really wasn't sure I had a place in this.

Regardless, there was not too much fun to report.  Sandra also had a birthday in July and was really fighting some depression as well.  Or at least outwardly so.

I also got the impression, just call it sixth sense, that she may have been seeing someone else.  I didn't have any hard evidence but the consistent last minute cancellations for some reason just gave me a sense that something else might be happening other than the family issues.

Anyway, as this Love and Rockets' song goes it was probably "all in my mind."

I have to say a better man would ride this out.  A bad man would start hitting AM again.  I guess I am a pragmatic man and so I started thinking about moving on knowing that it was probably not my place to lend a hand in Sandra's issues.  I would like to think that maybe it's best to step aside sometimes; she was in good hands with Doug - I was not sure she needed me.

Friday, December 9, 2011

FFF - Burned Coffee

Listen to Dean on the right while reading
I remember the sounds of the "rat pack" on her radio and the smell of burned coffee in her kitchen on a Sunday morning; the kitchen was never her forte.  But she was always good to me and Sunday was always the best time.  Sunday was our time together.  Sunday and burned coffee meant that her gentlemen callers would be at home with their families or out on the golf course.  Sunday and burned coffee meant I was the center of her universe and those Sunday conversations were how I learned to be a man.

Miami in the 1960's was no place for a young boy on the streets.  The Cuban mafia had emigrated from Havana and without direction a boy like me was destined to be a sacrificial soldier in their wars.

But she took me off the streets of Little Havana when no other would and guided me from bastard to man.  I guess it's not quit the childhood one reads about or hopes for; but for me she was a savior.

And so whenever that waitress tells me "honey, let me make a fresh pot for you," I kindly say "no, just let me have the burned coffee" and I smile and remember a rose who loved me and who I adored so many years ago.

I don't know why but I thought of this song when I saw this picture.  I've always liked this group and they hail from a town just down the road a piece from me!  :) Please take a listen!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

C is for Cookie, that's Good Enough for Me

the Beaumont Family's Famous Sausage Balls!

No that is not something you get in New Orleans when you screw a hooker bareback; get your minds out of the gutter!  They are a traditional Southern holiday delicacy!  Actually I should attribute this to my Aunt Francis who was a wonderful southern cook.  I ran across her Country Fried Steak recipe when looking at this as well - wow, she was a cooker!

Yes today is another food post and thank you to Jz and Hedone for putting together and promoting the 2nd Annual Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza!  And since I always change things to suit my wishes I am doing "sausage balls."  They are not exactly a cookie but they look like cookie dough in raw form and sort of look like a cookie when baked so I'll call them a cookie.  I promise I got permission from Jz!  But then again she claims to be submissive so maybe it's because I told she had to!  :)

First, however, I have to add this as well.  I kid you not, a lot of people in the deep south call these "Coon Balls."  Now you're really thinking I'm a total hick but that is named after a brand of cheese commonly used, not a slur for a Cajun'.  But you're right, I am a hick!

So here goes:

  • 1 pound ground pork sausage (to spice things up adds some chorizo or andouille sausage if you are HOT blooded!)
  • 2 cups Bisquick biscuit baking mix
  • 1/2  pound sharp Cheddar cheese (shredded), Coon Cheese if ya' gotta' get yer Coon Balls :)
  • 12 oz Kraft Easy Cheese


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. In a large bowl, combine sausage, biscuit baking mix, and cheese.  Form into walnut size balls and place on baking sheets.  I would suggest coating baking sheet with pan spray.
  3. Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until golden brown and sausage is cooked through.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Give Me What I've Always Missed

Late May and June is always my favorite time of year.  Work and life in general just seem to slow down.  Shannon's work schedule tends to pick up however in May and throughout the summer.  Several years ago that would upset me that just when I had a lot of time she hit the road.  But now it just meant that while the cat was away the mouse could play and now the mouse had a play partner so things were looking good.

Anyway the other night I was listening to Dark Wave on XM radio and heard the above song from Love and Rockets.  To me it's a very peaceful song that echoes my feeling in late May and that song will track a lot of the feelings I had over last summer and over this and perhaps the next and the next Sandra post.

By late May it had been 4 months since I had seen Sandra except for breakfast at an IHOP.  And as sexy as an IHOP parking lot may sound, I just was not going to do anything more than kiss there (that's sarcasm btw).  Call me old-fashioned!  :)  I wish I could have a parking lot fetish like other bloggers, all those parking lot sex posts out there are always so hot, but alas I can only be me!

But Shannon was going to be traveling each week for multiple days for the entire month of June.  The opportunities for all day excusions abounded!  I was excited, Sandra was too.

Week 1 failed; Sandra had a family emergency, her son-in-law was being an ass and intervention was needed.  Week 2 failed as I had health issues with daughters that kept me home whilst wife was on the road. A day of cleaning house and watching Wizards of Waverly Place with a sick child can be fun and relaxing but after two days it's no longer as much fun as sex.  But what can you do; as I had learned patience always paid.

Week 3 finally looked promising with no family emergencies on the horizon as our Tuesday afternoon approached.  We didn't plan for any romantic diversion such as a walk or intimate lunch just meet at the hotel; I brought wine and hummus with pita chips as was the norm.

As an aside, I finally got smart and went back to the hotel the next morning and switched payment to cash for the room.  Until then I had always paid with my credit card.  I am the CFO of the family, Shannon wants nothing to do with actual payment of anything so it was never a big risk.  Additionally, I get my credit card statements sent via e-mail; statements never come in the mail.  However, cash money seemed like a better option to really get that risk down to almost zero.

Oh wait I started talking about paying for the room before I said we actually had sex.  Well, we did, and it was great as usual!  Except that I was starting to perform to blog posts.  Meaning that now that I was six months into my blog I found myself doing things that would play well on the blog.  Actually, to be honest, this concept was getting in the way of fun.  I found myself stressed at performing up to the standards of what would sound good on the blog.  Now as I have said I am no ED case.  However, many guys suffer from the opposite - meaning they can get it up but can't gush it out.  As time went on I found no problem getting it harder but it was getting harder and harder to "cum" to an end.  I think the first few times you go at it for 30 minutes+ it's exciting but after awhile you just want it great for a reasonable amount of time and then move onto something else (like a shower or massage or CNN, etc).

Anyway, I found myself having to think about other women to finally get to orgasm.  Is that bad?

Hmmm?  I think what was worse was that not only was the blogging so fun; the things I was interested in blogging about (other than Sandra) were starting to overtake my Sandra posts.

Such an interesting conundrum?  If you do not find yourself excited and aroused by blogging about your lover does it mean they are not meant to be your lover?  Is it bad if I am more interested at poking fun at other bloggers, talking about looking at women's butts at the gym, or telling of my experience as a fake female on AM than I am about writing about the sex acts with my affair partner?  I'm not sure but it seems bad, idk?

Well, I wasn't as disappointed when week 4 failed; week 3 sex had been so satisfying and I had July 4th travel scheduled.

July the 4th was fun with the family as always.  We have a lot of traditions that are fun but I will have to save those for my family fun blog - The Good Guy Adventures of a Bad Guy Gone Pussy Whipped!  :)

Alas, July looked promising as Shannon again would be on the road often and Doug (that's Sandra's husband I introduced him last week) was going to be out of town as well.  The thought of going to her house and enjoying the hot tub, pool, mountain views was exciting.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

December 3rd - A Day that Will Live in Infamy

It's my 1 year Blogaversary!

I've been thinking about this post for some time.  I was of the opinion that I needed to reflect on the past year and draw important take-aways, perhaps deliver sage wisdom to the bloggosphere, and wax poetic in general.  So I kept thinking and thinking.

The funny thing is that each time I sat down to do some writing some other thought popped into my head and I started writing something else.  In fact I have about 9 posts either scheduled or in draft form just waiting for the next Riff post so I can scam off his surge in hits!  :)

What was my problem, such an epic date deserved an inspiring post don't you think?

So then I started to worry, nothing was coming to me.

Then I started to re-read my blog, perhaps to get some inspiration - or at least some humor.  I was sure I would find some stuff to laugh at myself with!  What was funny is that I found all types of stuff I had simply forgot about.  Some of it I thought was kind of good like the time I came out of the closet about liking Neil Diamond, my ode to female bloggers, and even the time I posed the philosophical question as to the appropriateness of looking at women's butts at the gym or stressed about naming my favorite female blogs!  :)  Yes, please see those links, I set them up for you so you would take a look!

And then it started to hit me.  This was not so much of an epic date as it was somewhat of a crossroads or movement to a new epoch!  You know, kind of like what they think the Mayans were saying now about 2012; not the end of the world but a gateway to a new age.

Wait Ryan, stop the BULLSHIT!  How is moving from writing about looking at women's asses to whatever you are planning on writing next a gateway to a new age!  For Christ sake, get REAL!  :)

OK, OK so what I am really getting at is not so much looking back and waxing poetic as much as looking back fondly at what I have done and looking forward eagerly to what I hope to write about in the future.

So instead of writing anything important to recognize this day, (let's be real what kind of important stuff is going to come from a guy that stresses over the appropriateness of looking at women's butts at the gym) let's celebrate the past and look forward to the future.

And to do this I am asking each of you to take about 30 minutes to go back and re-read your blog and remember fondly at what you have done, celebrate that, and then start to get excited about what you are going to do next.

If you want to post a comment here about something you would like me or someone else to read from the ghosts of your blog past please do so!

Or better yet, tell us something you would like to forget!

But in the end -

Treasure the past but keep moving forward
I'm just Master Shifu passing on the Kwan!
for as a wise turtle once told me:

"Yesterday is history, the future a mystery, but today is a gift and that is why it is called the present!  :)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

No Time for a Winter (Summer) Friend

Or The Weather Outside is Frightful by Delightful Dear is Doubtful
how affairs are tough when it ain't golf weather

I just thought this was cute!
A few weeks ago I wrote about how affairs and the holidays don't mix.  And because they don't I had to endure a long dry spell last December.  But hope sprang eternal in January and I was able to spend quality time with Sandra shortly after the start of the new year (see last post); 2011 looked like it would be a good year.

Unfortunately I would find winter is sometimes a bad time for affairs as well.  Well, actually it's the weather that can play havoc or in my case more specifically the lack of "golf weather."

I mentioned once that Sandra referred to herself as a "golf widow."  Meaning her husband played a lot, which allowed her a lot of time to play with me!  It seemed like the perfect scenario.  At least until the husband stopped playing golf and then everything got screwed up.

Getting to know someone beyond a couple of hotel room hook-ups is actually pretty fascinating.  I am always the curious one so it was actually interesting to get familiar with Sandra's life.  Her husband is some type of high powered sales exec.  Not just a simple stockbroker or car salesman; I'm talking the kind of guy that sells Geico all of their computers and printers and stuff like that.  He worked from home and from my understanding generally put in about 3 to 4 hours a day and then hit the links.  Not exactly a work-a-holic but it apparently provided him enough income to keep Sandra happy; I think she mentioned getting a $20K check from him every month as part of her "golf widow's" pension.

He actually seemed like a really nice guy.  He is an ex-marine and yes I know your asking yourself "Ryan he probably knows how to kill people with a paper clip and a rubber band, are you stupid!"  Well the ultimate answer to that question is of course yes I am.  But apparently his measurements are about 5'10" and 250#'s+ so I think I could outrun him!  :)

And of course with those measurements you see that in addition to making Sandra a "golf window" he was not exactly in great shape which opened the door for me.  Guys, that's the educational piece for the day to keep your wife off AM - stay in shape, don't make her a "golf widow!"  Funny how the money doesn't keep one faithful though, just married!  :)

But again, I said he always seemed like a nice guy from the way Sandra spoke.  It was clear that he adores her in spite of his golf addiction.  And I think Sandra really does care for him although it may be more as an old piece of furniture that frustrates you because you don't know what to do with it but it's too sentimental to throw away.  Hey, that's exactly how Shannon feels about me - it must be karma!

Sandra had a daughter from a previous marriage and he had apparently really become a father figure to her daughter.  Sandra's daughter was caught in a really bad marriage and her husband, from Sandra's description, was one of her daughter's best allies.  Btw, Sandra's daughter's situation was often causing as much of a distraction as the weather.  Apparently her husband was a real pig and so Sandra really had to step in at times to hold things together.

Anyway, I am loosing my point today.  Sandra's husband, let's just call him Doug, was very concerned for her.  Anytime there was so much as a flake of snow or drop of rain he apparently didn't want her to leave the house.  Or at least that is what she said, I really don't have much reason to doubt her.  So kudos to him, never discount the value of having someone that cares!

And so late January though most of April was a continual process of making plans and then breaking them because weather was bad, Doug was not playing golf in the afternoon, or the daughter had some type of emergency.

But these are the things you have to deal with if you are going to play this type of game.  We did meet once for breakfast at IHOP and stayed in touch via e-mail and the occasional phone call.

Of course I had a few "e-mail queen" diversions on AM with Aleah, Lonely in DC, and Tiny Dancer (I forgot to write about her - it didn't go anywhere).  But by the end of February I was really on a sabbatical from AM.

The big question though is, was I mad or upset?  The funny thing is, the answer is no.  First, as I have said before, family comes first so you can never get mad when your affair partner has issues on the home front.  Also, I have to say once I got really going on this blogging thing it really took over my psyche and occupied me.  Even with the lingering dry spell over those lonely winter months I really started to get excited by that next post or planning for something down the road.  And throw in some friendly banter with your new found blogger friends and that adds up to a lot of satisfaction!

OK, so a lengthy post with really no interesting information.  Except for Doug, I purposefully brought him into the dialogue.  Not for any real reason but like my Shannon posts I think it is important to know that when you are having an affair there are other people involved even if they don't know it; so they affect you in some small way.  I think it's important to keep them in mind don't you?

So let's warp forward now to May where I'll hopefully pick things up next week.

Except for the next post this Saturday where I'll have to go back in time one more time to celebrate a another great date in Ryan history.

Hope everyone had a happy and safe Thanksgiving!  Now get back to work and to the gym!

No Time - the Guess Who:

Next Post It's All in My Mind (Love and Rockets)

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Fire in Your Eyes Keeps Me Alive

Nothing to me says Gen X like the Cult and this song "She Sells Sanctuary."  Maybe because it was in that movie "Singles."  God, Bridgette Fonda was so fine in that movie!  I think I started liking coffee and  grunge music just because of her!

Anyway, it's amazing how much you start to miss sex when you have it with consistency.  Prior to meeting Alesha it had been awhile for me.  But with Sandra, it had become consistent and more importantly great.  And a dash of Keeley had only helped.

But by mid-January the holidays had created a dry spell of almost two months.  And that was no fun.

I remember a fraternity friend one night, when we were all drinking heavily, waxing poetic by saying

"wow, I really feel sorry for the next girl I have sex with; it's been a long time and I may blow her head off with the wad I'm likely to shoot (that means orgasm he was not a serial killer)"

I won't present my attitude as ineligantly as that but let's just say I was ready for some action coming out of the gate in 2011.

So about the second week of January the weather wasn't too bad, Shannon was off on a trip, and Sandra and I had another one of our indoor picnics set for our little Comfort Inn down the road and just off the Frontage Road (I say that hearing the Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the John Boy and Billy show)!

As was the norm I got the room arrived early and with wine, cheese, hummus, and pita chips.  Sandra called a few minutes before she arrived to let me know she was near.  I watched and saw her pull up and then walked down that back stairwell to that hotel side door to greet her.

She looked gorgeous in her shades, her knee high leather boots, and a tight grey "stretchy" dress cut low.  

I said hello and took her by the hand and walked her inside and up the stairs and to our room.  I think she was talking about her dogs but I was only thinking about how I didn't want any foreplay just get right down to it sex!

As we walked in I handed her a cup of wine I had already poured.  She stood in front of the bed continuing her dialouge about her pets.  But I have to admit I was not listening.

I walked up behind her as she stood facing the side of the bed.  I put my arms low around her waist and pulled her into me and dove my face into her neck at first kissing and then nibbling.

She said "ohhhh, you are restless today" and turned around and with a smile and a gleem in her eyes.  She kissed me and then started to unbutton my shirt.

Once unclothed Sandra turned to get onto the bed.  I didn't let her roll onto her back, rather put my knees onto the bed just behind her and guided her waist forward.  Once we were both on the bed I pulled her ass into my waist and moved my hand around to her pussy.

She was wet so I wasted no time putting myself into her.  She looked so good stretched out in front of me.  I loved the feel of her ass slapping against my hips.  Several minutes of that were very invigorating but it can get a little tiring and for some reason as much as I enjoy it from behind I always struggle with cuming in that position.

So she laid down, rolled over, and we went into missionary mode and it wasn't long before we came together; although I think it was her second.

After that it was naked wine and cheese and just hanging out.

Well, maybe there was a shower together at some point!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

How 'bout Cookin' Somethin' Up with Me

What's Cookin' Good Lookin'?

1. Haagen-Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s?
Haagen Daz, I love the Java Chunk

2. What is always in your refrigerator?
Lemon juice, minced garlic, dry white wine, and cream - you can do just about anything as long as you have the "mother" sauce on hand.

3. What’s your worst kitchen disaster?
Oh, I don't make mistakes; you just roll with it and act like that is what you planned to do.  That being said I have scalded a fish chowder and had to make it into a Blackened Cajun' fish chowder!  :)

4. Favorite kitchen gadget?
I am great with just a basic French knife.

5. What was your last meal? Did you like it?
Panko Breaded Pork Chops sauteed in Olive Oil, Mashed Potatoes, and Green Beans.  Of course!

6. What’s your favorite cookie?
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hurrah for Fun! Is the pudding done? Hurrah for Pumpkin Pie!

Thanksgiving Cooking!  How to cook the perfect bird.

How it's done!
But first here is my famous recipe for pumpkin pie.  I forgot to give this to you at Halloween!

OK enough silliness, here are some tips on cooking the perfect Thanksgiving Turkey.

Step 1 - Go to your local Marriott and enjoy their Thanksgiving buffet, they will enjoy cooking for you and you won't have to clean up!  Better yet, spend the night with your AM buddy the night prior at the 'rott (that's what we used to call back in the day) and just meet the Fam there on Thanksgiving Day.

But seriously here are some tips:

Tip 1 (Fry It):   If you have a portable fryer there is no better way to cook a turkey than to fry it; but if you have a portable fryer you probably already know that.  If you don't have a portable fryer it is a nice investment!  Everything is better fried, I tend to think!  Make sure you put the turkey in first and then add oil or else you might spill oil everywhere and always use a smaller turkey if you are frying (less than 12#'s).  Also the turkey needs to be completely thawed as ice crystals from a frozen turkey can hurt frying oil.  And take the neck and giblets out first for Christ sakes!

The good thing here is that in a fryer at 400 degrees your bird should cook in about 45 minutes and will be much more tender and juicy than when cooked in an oven.  Frying automatically accomplishes all that you are doing when basting.  The high heat sears the outside locking in the fats which create the moistness/tenderness.

If you want more flavor inject the turkey before frying with the normal ingredients such as puree of onion, celery along with sage, thyme, salt, pepper, garlic, or even cajun' spices if you want to feel like you're on the Bayou!  Or even pack an onion with poultry spices and pack the onion inside the turkey.

Tip 2 (Brine it):  If you do not have access to a fryer the next best thing is to brine your turkey.  First, make sure your turkey is completely thawed.  Remember a 20# bird may take a few days to thaw so don't do this last minute like me!  Purchase a brining bag from your market and put your bird in, breast down.  I would recommend getting a brining kit with spices and just follow directions.

But as a guideline do the following for a basic 10 to 12# turkey.

Bring 12 cups of water to a boil and add 1 cup salt, 2 cups sugar, 1 cup cider vinegar, 2 tbs sage, 2 tbs rosemary, onion powder, peppercorn melange, poultry seasoning, and bay leaf (if preferred).  Boil and stir for about 20 minutes and allow to cool.  Place turkey into bag and pour brine over turkey and then add 4 cups of ice.  Seat bag with breast down and leave in refrigerator for 2 days.

Cook using basic instructions below.

Tip 3 (Bast it):  If you are going to do it the old fashioned way I suggest you take the time to bast and understand that the best way to cook meat is "low and slow!"

If you are industrious separate the skin from the breast meat (without removing and stuff butter, fresh rosemary, sage, thyme, salt, pepper, and other desired spices between the skin and the meat. Additionally, you may want to consider cooking breast side down which allows for automatic basting and more tenderness (the fat gravitates down through the breast meat).

Once you are ready to cook.  Put your bird in the oven at 475 for about 20 minutes.  That will sear the outside.  Then turn your oven down to 250 and cook for an additional 20 minutes per pound.  For example for a 12 pound turkey cook an additional 12#'s * 20 minutes/# = 240 minutes = 4 hours.

Check your bird every 20 minutes and with a cooking syringe suck up your juice at the bottom of the pan and pour back over your bird.

Check out this great New Yorker article about the great American bird.  In fact this whole issue is basically dedicated to cuisine!

And to settle an age old questions, does turkey really make you sleepy?  Well, the answer is MAYBE! Turkey does have a high concentration of an amino acid Tryptophan which makes serotonin and melatonin which can cause drowsiness.  But many doctors would say that turkey does not create enough serotonin and melatonin to really have any greater impact than your slice of pumpkin pie.  So for you lurkers out there I would not use it as a substitute for "ruffies."  However, I still do get sleepy after dinner, but it may be due to all that cooking and cleaning!  :)

Happy Thanksgiving to All!