Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Any Which Way You Can

"Any Which Way You Can" was Clint Eastwood's 1980 sequel to 1978's "Every Which Way but Loose."  Even though I love Glen Campbell, his title song doesn't have near the ambiance of Eddie Rabbitt's rendition of the original movie's title song.  Does that mean the sequal is never as good as the original?

Well Sandee had turned me every which way but loose and now I was trying to keep her any which way I could.

That started with finally meeting again for breakfast at a diner I really enjoy.  They have great French Toast and Sandee loves French Toast.  It's different because it's thick slices of French Bread dipped in the milk/egg bath with a dash of Cinnamon and vanilla.  This was a mid-January day and if you remember this past winter quite balmy for the time of year.

Sandee pulled up and stepped out of her car in a very summery dress with a white sweater.  It was only after we sat down and she took off her sweater that she revealed her very seductive strapless sun-dress.  I am usually not the biggest "breast" guy (more of a leg man) but WOW.

That dress looked so good with her long blond hair and spectacular figure.  We enjoyed breakfast and didn't talk about anything in particular.  It was just good to be in common space again.  I could tell soon she was very relaxed.  She had now told me often that I had a calming influence on her; that made me glad.

After breakfast I walked her to her car.  I got in for a moment and kissed her deeply.  After a moment she slid her hands behind my neck and pulled me closer.  I pulled away momentarily and she sighed and smiled at me.  We kissed again but this was not a good spot.

It was great to see each other again but we decided we needed to return to an environment where we could have "soup" as well.

So the following week we met at our Shopping Center.  I got into her van and we stopped by my favorite Chinese restaurant this time.  We did get some Egg Drop and Wonton Soup along with some California and Crunchy Rolls and headed off to our "soup date" picnic spot.

Once in the room though lunch would have to wait.  My desire for Sandee was too great to wait, I had to have her immediately.

I put my arm around her and buried my face in her hair as I moved my hand to between her legs.  I kissed her neck and then pulled her dress up and over her head.  She turned around and took off my tie and unbuttoned my shirt.  She then just sat back on the bed as I took the rest of my clothes off.

In a moment we were on the bed.  I was on top of her.  It was almost like a wrestling match as we couldn't get close enough.  I was inside her and her legs were around me our pelvises pumping together in a quick and precise matching rhythm.  Our stomachs were pressed together our arms moving around, my right hand underneath her soft ass pulling her even deeper into me.  Alternatively I buried my head in her soft hair and then kissed her and then returned to the flowery scent of that soft hair.  When kissing our tongues wound round one another probing anxiously.

This time would not be long and drawn out.  My longing for her, the thought of never getting here again, and the feel of her naked body pressed against mine opened a flood gate my mind could not hold back.  It felt like I exploded into her.  I have to admit I can be loud.  I think like a tennis player hitting a forehand with all the force they can muster, the result is a reactive sigh/groan that can't be held back.

After that we just remained in bed next to each other for a long time.  We dozed off for some length of time.  We had sex again but it was more of a cuddling sex; more like just being inside for awhile.  Unfortunately 5 pm arrived and we had to leave.

But I was so happy.  Everything was OK now.  She was back and I was here and I didn't think anybody would be going anywhere soon.

"It’s hard for a back street affair to be easy
For each hour of happiness there’s two hours of pain
We meet in the shadows because all that matters
Is spending the night with you once again.
You leave with a promise you’ll call me tomorrow
But I never know when the next time will be
And each time you leave me I can’t help but wonder
Was tonight the last night for you and for me.

Any which way you can....." - G. Campbell

For now this sequel was in fact very much as satisfying as the original.  And I was hoping this story would become a franchise (that's movie lingo for several sequels).   :)

But for now it's Memorial Week and time for some vacation.  Don't worry though, I won't leave you completely.  Stay tuned later this week for some important information about the blog and summer activities!  Time for some new directions, at least for a few months.

Friday, May 25, 2012

FFF - The Scent of

"Me and you and a dog named Boo...." those lyrics faded out as the song ended.  I got out of the car; I had to go.  Gloria called out to me and I looked back into the car where we had just made love.  She looked up at me with those "puppy dog" eyes, her scent along with the spring flowers around me and that new Plymouth were the best smells I had ever known or will know.

"Where ya' goin'", she said?

"I have to take a leak" I replied in protest

"Are ya' comin' back?" she said through her devious smile.

"Of course; I'll always come back to you."

And in a way I do always come back to her.  Yeah, she went off to college up north and I stayed close and went to UGa, but on a spring day when I smell that honeysuckle my mind comes back to her and those lazy days by the river and the scent of her and a new car.

Author's note:  After thinking about it I thought of changing the song to the Sammy John's song "Chevy Van."  But the car is obviously not a van and that Lobo song is what hit me initially when I saw the photo and I think what is fun is to write about the first thing that hits my mind; kind of like an "ink blot" test.  I wonder what all these FFF say about my screwed up mind!   :)

Anyway, this is not a completely accurate depiction.  That song was recorded in 1971.  I say the car is a Plymouth because it reminds me of a car my dad drove in the early 70's which was a hand-me-down from his dad.  That Plymouth was probably about a '66.  Adding that up it's hard to imagine a "new care" smell in 1971 from a 1966 Plymouth.  But in the end I claim creative license!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Every Which Way but Loose, You Turn Me

"ever heard of uh Missurah boat ride"
I love Clint Eastwood.  There are a few movie types I never pass over.  The Godfather, certain military movies such as "Patton," certain Sports movies such as "Remember the Titans," and of course a good Clint Eastwood movie.  My favorite movie all time, not just Clint Eastwood, is "The Outlaw Josie Wales" I believe.  I love seeing Clint bushwack his way from Missourah to Texas in post Civil-War Americana.  You really can imagine him riding with  Jesse James and his brothers, the Younger Brothers, and "Bloody" Bill Anderson in Quantrill's Raiders.  Sorry, Civil War along with sports is an area where I can easily digress.

But this movie, Every Which Way but Loose, is also very typical Clint.  Click here to hear that theme song while you read this post, as I was unable to embed (btw Sassy, I have it set up to open in a new page for you).  In this movie Clint plays the rough tough working everyman that in spite of those rough edges is still a charmer with the ladies.

I was faced with a big dilema; what to do about Sandee.  She was definitely turning me "Every Which Way but Loose!"

Well, I don't do rough and tough as well as Clint Eastwood but I try to be a charmer.  I had sent her  a very sincere and hopefully charming note in response to her apparent break-off note and then hoped it would be well received.  The next day Sandee responded:
"Awww Ryan, you are seriously one of the sweetest people I know. :) 

Thank you for your encouragement and your thoughtfulness. I only told you all of that, so you would understand my aloofness a bit. Meaning, I wouldn't want you to think my weirdness was directed at you at all. You are always so happy and have such a pos tude, I don't want to bring negativity to you in ANY way. That's not fair to you.

I don't want to completely lose touch with you either. You're my bud! Plus we share that near drowning/hitch hiking  experience, so we're kind of like blood brothers or something :-)

Thanks again, Ryan,(((hugg)))
Oh! Thanks for the Bon -Jon- I never heard that rendition of it before"

Hmm..., worried I would think her aloof; glad she assumed I would notice and be able to decipher it and what it meant!  That might be a stretch for me.   :)

OK so I was breathing a sign of relief.  But I was a little leery of that "you're my bud" reference.  That smacked of that classic line "you're a nice guy but....."  I wanted this to continue but I didn't want to be a "but!"

My thoughts, tread easily here for now.  Don't rock the boat "don't tip the boat over...."  Sorry just heard that song in my head as I wrote that!

What I did write was this:

"OK Sandee,

I hear space as the operative word here.  But don't expect me to not be a pest for long.  Soon I will want to eat breakfast while you just drink coffee or take a swim in the Potomac.  If you want people to ignore you and leave you alone your going to have to become a lot meaner and not so attractive!  At present you are thusly the pretty flower and me the lonely happy bee innocently and hopelessly attracted to your wistful charm!  :)"
I got this back:

"Hello my happy bee-
Thanks again for understanding. Don't you just love chicks emos?"

So I followed that up with all the charm possible.  I sent her the number to some apartments for rent and said I was like Bill O'Reilly "who's lookin' out for you!"  (Sandee is a fan).  I sent YouTube clips of Will Ferrell and forwarded an article about the world's most expensive tea that is grown in Panda poop.  Sandee likes tea, not poop.

"Omg Ryan - you are hysterical!  I will NEVER take a cup of tea from you again unless I watch you unwrap the package! I'm so glad you got the wine instead!
My wine was delicious by the way!! I hate to admit this to you, but yours truly downed the whole bottle herself  :(   (Not in one setting tho)

Thank you very much for the rental info! I haven't lived on my own since I graduated college, so this is all very new to me . But it can be looked at as a new adventure, too! 

Have a happy night..sleep tight!  :)

We were getting places now.  Finally after mixing in some Will Ferrell Old Milwaukee commercial clips on YouTube into a breakfast invite I got her to commit to seeing me again.  I figured if we met I'll charm her and she won't be able to resist me!   :)

Who can resist me and French Toast!   :)

Monday, May 21, 2012

Now This is the Politics of Life

Admittedly this is a very popish song but I always loved that one lyric above; ain't it so true!  It is unfortunate that it took a Pepe Jean's commercial to vault this song into the US and UK charts.

There are so many words and phrases in our language that are so easily understood even when they are not said literally.  When Shannon says "we need to talk" it means I need to listen.  When Shannon says "we need to think about doing xxx" it means I need to get to work.  Or perhaps even "I was thinking about pricing out the possibility of taking a vacation next month" means we're going!   :)

The Tuesday after New Year's Day I went back to work.  I was eager to call Sandee but waited until mid-morning (didn't want to seem to anxious).  She didn't answer which was not troubling but she did not have her voicemail on, it was just the standard "please leave your number for ###-###-####. " That seemed odd, but I didn't linger on it.  I left a brief message saying hello and that I would call later.  I did call later in the day just before leaving work and again no answer.

The next day I called with no answer.  I sent her a text toward the end of the day just to ask how she was doing and got a reply back within the hour.

"A lot of bad stuff going on right now, can I get back in touch later.  Give me a few days.  :)"

She also mentioned having lost her phone and having to get a new one which goes to show you never jump to conclusions.

Well, at least she added a smiley face.  I knew her husband was a real ass so I assumed there were issues she was dealing with.  These are the times to back off in this type of relationship.  Being too caring sometimes can simply be received as too pushy.  So I just texted back "take your time, let me know if I can help.  talk to you soon, R."

I was working the next Sunday and toward the end of the day I decided to text Sandee just to see how she was doing nothing really more than "hi, how are you doing."  She didn't text back immediately though.

After I got home I got the following text:

"just sent you an e-mail to explain some things"

Yes I was pretty sure I just got one of those messages that means more than what it says.

Let me digress.  I am a pretty level headed person at work.  I really do get along with everybody.  But one thing my staff knows about me is don't pussy-foot around if you have something to say, say it!  I simply can't stand it when people say "I need to talk to you later," and then leave everything blank.  In my mind, if you have an issue give me your bullet points and I'll decide if we need to talk and if it needs to be now or later.

But here I was caught.  I couldn't run to the computer to check the e-mail (I don't do this stuff at home, it's my rule).  And I couldn't text back and say tell me about it.  That would be pushy and who knows what this was about; it may be nothing.

So I had to go through the interminable wait until tomorrow morning when I would be able to read her e-mail.

Of course I get to work ASAP the next day and walk straight into my office and open up my "mischief" e-mail and get this.

Hi Ryan

I  just want to give you the short of my long story:  I have decided to get a separation. While this is kind of  a relief, it is still highly stressful & complicated.  So for now, I'm HAVE  to focus on getting my act together, I don't want to be dependant on him financially. Plus, he says he's not leaving the house, (it's all about control) so I also have to figure that one out.
See? Draaaaama!!

Anyways, I'm sorry, but I'm in the horrible company category right now, so I'm going to spare you that, ok??

Take care of yourself, and I'm sure we'll run in to each other again sometime in the future :)


Damn!  Total kick to the gut.  I have to admit that my first instinct was to write back and say "screw you, after all this?"  I also have to admit just feeling hurt by the somewhat "flippant" tone of the note "spare you that, OK?...... take care of yourself, and I'm sure we'll run into each other...."  Christ, did I give off an "I don't give a *hit" scent that would make you feel that I would just take that and walk away?

Well, at least she didn't break things off via text!   :)

But the thing is I didn't want to do that because quickly I realized how much I didn't want this to end.  I also knew that in fact Sandee was being nice.   A relationship under this type of environment is trouble.  If I was smart I would let her walk away just like I had let Alecia, Keeley, and Sandra walk away.  No harm, no foul.  Well, if you've been reading this blog you know doing the smart thing is not always my forte!

But patience is so what I did decide to do was nothing, at least for now.  Always best to think about it.  And of course while I was in the "walk away from it mode" I of course checked out Ashley Madison for some mental egoistic healing, sort of a silent "take that" moment.  You know I've got the blog to worry about.  My Sandee affair was going to make for some great posts in the coming months but perhaps I was ready to move onto the next chapter.

Except what I found on AM on that Monday was the same women who had been there six months ago, a year ago, even two years ago.  Of course some of the names had changed but really even the new girls were the old girls with different shoes so to speak; nothing interested me.  And to be fair on AM I was the same guy in different shoes; I found myself not really interested in "ME" on AM anymore either (how's that for something Vonnegutesque).  More importantly nothing drew me in and compelled me to write to them immediately.  This is bad.  I realized I didn't want to look anymore.

Late in the day I wrote this (to Sandee that is).

Hey Sandee,

First, I completely understand your situation and you and your family come first in your life.

That being said, I would consider it a joy for you to burden me with your horrible company.  Of course that is a joke as you are always wonderful company.  Remember this, you are a great and lovely person (not to mention fabulously attractive) and deserve to be adored!  I really mean that no matter what happens.

You have meant a lot to me.  You have been a joy to know and made me feel very good about myself.  I am not good at judging what people want and I often tend to be a chameleon with relationships often coming on too strong or not strong enough.  Meaning I tend to mirror what I think people want from me rather than being myself.  I think I have been able to be myself with you.

So I will do and support what you wish but I really would like to stay in touch and perhaps continue to see you.  No pressure, just coffee, listening, relaxing, no expectations.  

I went through some old e-mails of your's from last August.  You are just too much fun!  I think we mirror each other a bit.  I think that is why I kept staying in touch and why I want to try to hang on for you now.  Not that I'm trying to add stress to your life but because I think we can bring some F.U.N. to one another!

I hope you have a good night,

For you:
I think somewhere you said you like John BJ.  Sorry if that comes off as cheesy but I heard this recently and thought of you.


Ryan   :)

Hopefully that expressed a little bit of heart and soul......

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Give Me a Ticket for an Aeroplane

In spite of being a left of center kind of guy I do tend to believe the "free market system" is the best system in the world.  It allows us to be totally concerned with what benefits us most; taking care of ME!

In my professional life I have often been one of those "contracted" workers.  The guys you bring in because you don't want to do the dirty work.  "Bring in Beaumont, he'll clean up the poop for us" they often say.

So coincidentally the other day as I was thinking about summer vacation and travel I happened to come across this article about using social media and airplane seating.  Instantly I got one of those "ah-ha" moments (read here).  You see airlines like KLM and Malaysian Air are now letting you pick the person you sit next to on those long plane rides.

You got to hand it to those Malaysians to come up with the really BIG ideas!   :)

It goes something like this, you "like" Malaysian Air then you can share your Facebook profile and then other people who "like" Malaysian Air can see your profile and then you can decide if you want to sit next to one another.  Sort of like "friending" but at 30,000 feet and for only up to an 2 to 8 hour flight.

What a great idea and just in time for our summer travel season!

OK, so that sounds great in theory; kind of like socialism - let's all just share.  But I know me and when I'm flying I just want an aisle seat and for the person next to me to shut the *uck up and let me read or do the SWA crossword puzzle.  So I'm not really going to care if you crochet, graduated from Cow State U in '75, or have photos of your idiot nephew on your Facebook page.  What I need is REAL "free market" style info that might make me more interested in my "seat-mate" than just snoozing through the flight.

So let's ditch Facebook and bring in a real free market "gunslinger" to run this Social Media service for those airlines.  Someone who can deliver just what we need.  In the immortal words of Ryan Bingham (George Clooney's character in Up in the Air) "I'm like my mom, I discriminate; it's faster."

So I am proposing that Malaysian Air scrap the Facebook plan and go with Ashley Madison to run their "matching" site and deliver what we are REALLY looking for.  I can see it now.

Malaysian Airlines Meet 'n Seat
Powered by Ashley Madison

Flights are Short; Make 'em Worth it!

The Ryanator
"Can You Take Me High Enough"

Age:                                 45
Home Airport:                  IAD
Height:                              6'
Weight:                             175#
Limits:                               Less Talky More Sucky
Status:                               Stand By
Gender:                             Male
Ethnicity:                          White w/a tan
Drinking Habits:               Coffee before 4 pm; then Rolling Rock

Preferences and Encounters I am Open to:

Hey, don't worry, that won't be an underwear bomb I'm trying to detonate.  I'm just playing with myself!  In fact since I'm 45 and not flexible enough for the mile high club in the bathroom; how about a hand job and a 7 and 7.

But lay-off the footsie stuff, I like my leg room!

What Really Turns Me On:

I usually like women with big tits but if we're in coach plz be C cup or smaller!  And yes I'm a Dom so get you're arm off the rest, I like 'em both and no I'm not going to turn down the air!!!  Oh and if you're not eating those peanuts, I'll take them.

I want to look deeply into your eyes and read your soul!  That is if you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose!  Otherwise I'll stick to my Kindle; gotta get through Mockingjay before my daughter!  :)  

What I Am Looking For:

I'm not in the mile high club, I've never had a 3-some, and I don't have an Asian girl on my portfolio so let's do it with one of those Stewardesses on the back jumpseat!

My real name in that pilot talk is (Bravo) (Echo) (Alfa) (Uniform) (Mike) (Oscar) (November) (Tango); I just love talking that pilot talk!  Btw, how about we share a vector to the Airport Holiday Inn; they have the best free breakfast in town.  Love those Cinnamon rolls (and the shampoo)!

Member Feedback:

Talks More Than Expected:     3
Spills Drinks:                            4
Shares Peanuts:                         0
Shares Drink Coupons             0
Better in Person:                       0
Snores When Napping:            1
To Much Electronics:               3
Drools While Sleeping             5

Btw, I'm trying to figure out a way to get Ashley Madison to partner with Pinterest because that is apparently where all the chicks are.  Anybody got any ideas???    :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

TMI Tuesday - What About Breakfast at Tiffany's

I know that song is not about eating, it's about two people who don't get along very well renting a movie called "Breakfast at Tiffany's" in order to try to rekindle an old flame.  Which is kind of allegorical since the movie is about a young New York socialite (Holly Golightly played by Audrey Hepburn) who can't figure out what she wants in life (or which man).  The movie btw featured that dreamy song "Moon River" performed by Hepburn.

Anyway it was the quickest food sounding song I could think of.  So TMI tempted me today, here goes.

1. Before dinner wine, aperitif, or cocktail?  I actually prefer something active before (e.g. golf, swimming/beach, workout, yard work); it makes me feel more entitled to a big dinner.

2: Appetizer?    Caprese Salad, Mussels, Tapenade, Bruschetta

3. Soup?  I love soup!  NE Clam Chowder is my favorite but more often choose something like Pasta Fagioli or Minestrone for health

4. Salad?   Caesar or Greek, I don't like those fruity/citrusy salads

5. Wine or other beverage with dinner?  I like to pretend I know a lot about wine so I'll occasionally go with a Pinot/Merlot or Sweet White like Riesling.  I prefer beer including Rolling Rock and Dos Equis.  I also like to try the micro-brews if available

6. Entree?     It's hard to pass up a good Filet Mignon but I try to stick to seafood.  I also like seafood with pasta and/or rice such as a Paella.

7. Side Dishes?     I'm pretty open, I eat my veggies particularly if they were sauteed in olive oil and minced garlic.  I tend to like dishes that have it all together.  I love anything Creole (e.g. Seafood Etouffe).

8. Dessert?     Love that Italian stuff like Tiramisu and Panna Cotta.  Don't mind the occasional Creme Brule or Flan either and of course ice cream is always good.

9. After dinner drink?     Coffee I guess.  A White Russian may sound more dignified.

10. Which 3 people would you invite to dinner: (must be famous, well-known, living or dead, not fictional)

- For sex appeal:     Jennifer Connelly, my all time celeb crush, she seems real smart too!

- For great conversation:    
Will Ferrell, god I love that guy!  He and I seem like two peas in a pod.  I also just read Chris Matthew's book on JFK, it would be great to be able to talk to him.  Of course me and Bill "Bubba" Clinton could knock down about a dozen racks of ribs and talk about the woman, I'm mean good times we've had!

- Because you detest them:    
Hmmm, maybe Rush Limbaugh just so I can ask why?  I also enjoy baiting my conservative friends.  I'm actually pretty moderate but can play a pretty good liberal just to piss off a tea party activist!   :)
Bonus: Your lover brings you breakfast in bed. What’s on the tray?
Honestly I'm not really used to being served and it kind of makes me uncomfortable.  I would rather do something together.  I guess my favorite breakfast is a lot of stuff altogether like pancakes with a lot of berry toppings or oatmeal with brown sugar, maple syrup, bananas, nuts, etc.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Said Woman Take it Slow, and It'll Work Itself Out Fine

Or Holidays and Affairs Don't Mix II

I wrote about this once here and it's true holidays are hard on affairs.  Holidays mean travel, guests in the house, and interruption of routines.  In short they mean cramped quarters and more and different sets of watchful eyes.  It makes it impossible to get away for a few hours and a pretty big challenge just to shoot off and e-mail or text.  The holidays put a crimp in my relationship with Sandra last year and that along with winter kind of took the wind out of our sails and we never really rebounded.  At the time it didn't bother me too much.  I enjoyed my time with Sandra but I didn't see the relationship ever being more than me being her "boy toy."

But as this year's Christmas/holiday season (circle one depending on whether you watch Fox or MSNBC) was upon me, I found myself worried about getting disconnected from Sandee.  And that feeling was almost as troubling as the actual feeling of missing her.  To date everything had been pretty casual with the women I had met on AM, no strings.  I was feeling strings now, not tied to me by Sandee but tied by myself mentally.

It's funny that all the years of disconnect with Shannon had produced someone who, while courteous and I believe kind, had sort of forgotten how to feel.  I was reminded of that last Johnny Cash song he recorded "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel."

I hoped I was not inadvertently setting myself up to hurt simply to learn that I could feel again.  I mean, I wanted to feel again but I hoped I didn't have to hurt myself in order to do so.

Regardless, Sandee was going her way to visit family for about a week and a half.  I would stay at home for Christmas but then leave for a ski vacation out of state.  The closeness of quarters, not to mention lack of cell phone service at 5,000 feet made communication impossible so no phone calls or texts over this time.

So I drifted through the holidays.  Which of course is not too hard.  I love the time with my girls and I love being outdoors and I love skiing.  Work is slow during this time so it's a rare time where I can empty the inbox of my mind so to speak and just be with the family completely mentally and physically.

But as much fun as I was having I felt more and more anxious as January 3rd approached and I would be back at work.  And I was not anxious dreading going back, I was anxious to get back to my new routine and call Sandee and see her as soon as possible.

The upside to this time of year is that it's slow at work which means more time to waste at blogging.  During this time I was fairly prolific in writing posts to get in the queue so to speak.  So since this post is fairly short I direct you to two posts I wrote in late December but posted in January.  I think they are pretty funny and they involve Riff Dog.  So in celebration of that New Year's song "Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot"here are two posts dedicated to one of our dear acquaintances!

The Science of E-Mail Queens

A Day in the Life of Riff Dog on Ashley Madison's Mobile App

But I'll leave you with a little patience, which is always a good thing in relationships and life.

Not so sure about that red speedo Axl?

Friday, May 11, 2012

FFF - A Hint of Mischief

OMG, being who I am and where I am (near to DC) I can't help myself on this one.  Thanks Panser and Lexi for this picture!  And as always check out FFF on Panser's blog, it's always fun!  You should join in on it!  Good to see this again - I love it!

After that Fama Magazine interview the town was mine, I could do anything.  I remember waiting for men outside the back door.  No door held me now.  Playboy, Penthouse, everybody wanted me.  If I walked  the streets with my tits drying in the wind, screw 'em I'd do it.  I'm a smart girl and I know what I want.  No guy is going to jip me over a hint of mischief even if he works for the PotUS.  Those fools lost jobs over $30 but gave me the keys to the mansion.  Now I'm movin' in and livin' my life!

Hey I think that is 100 on the dot!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Ain't What You Do It's the Way that You Do It

I am not sure if this is kind of like that old SNL saying "it's better to look good than to feel good?"  I guess in life the way you do things is very important.  If you do things well often people will decide they like it after the fact even if they were not particularly looking for it in the first place.

That song above was originally recorded in 1939 as a calypso/jazz song.  It was then re-recorded by Fun Boy Three in the early 80's but is most famous from Bananarama's Greatest Hits album from 1988.  Now I take no pride in quoting a Fun Boy Three song in fact back in high school I would probably get my ass kicked for listening to a group like that instead of the popular stuff like Van Halen and Ozzy Osbourne.  But I take no shame in liking Bananarama; DAMN that brunette is awesome!  She reminds me of Shannon.  Not my wife Shannon, who of course is not named Shannon, but the Shannon from high school that I had such a crush on, I used her as a namesake in my blog so many years after.  But now that I'm all grown up I can appreciate all those weird groups from the 80's!

In my little town a restaurant recently opened up.  I like the food but it certainly is not the greatest I've ever had, in fact it is a borrowed concept from some national chains I am familiar with.  But unlike many new restaurants they have simply done everything right.  The food is good, the store is clean, the service is wonderful (in fact perfect - not too much, not too little), the staff looks great and is very clean cut and in uniform.  Even though it is always crowded the lines move quickly and efficiently because they are correctly staffed and the nice atmosphere make it seem like the wait is not too long (and I despise waiting).  The owners are always present and approachable.   From day one they hit the nail on the head and I know that is hard to do with a new business.  We keep on thinking when is it going to die down but it never does; there is always a long wait.

And why?

Because, it's not what you do it's the way that you do it!

If you do it right, people always decide later that that is what they wanted all along!

So why am I telling you this.  Because after our first hotel encounter that was cumbersome at best and after a comical attempt at an office hook up, Sandee and I decided to have another "soup date."  That btw would become our term for "going to the hotel."

But of course there was nothing special about what we were doing, we'd already done it.  But what was more important was how we did it.  Because as I came to find out "it ain't what you do it's the way that you do it."

So even though we had decided to have a "soup date" I actually decided to call Dominic (I know him) who owns the local New York style pizza joint and order one of his special supreme pizzas.  Sandee picked me up and we stopped by Dominic's place, picked up the pizza, and then headed off to that same hotel we had visited before.

But I had a special plan in store for today.  I brought video!

No not Katie Morgan screwing Dirk Diggler or anything like that.  This was much better!  Me.

No, I'm not a porno star - get your mind out of the gutter.  I had some video of me performing in the local performance I think I told you about once.

Let me tell you if you can ever show a girl a picture or video of you dressed up in Victorian garb and dancing do it!  It'll make 'em melt.  They will be tearin' your cloths off by the second act!

And to make it even better as Sandee was laying down on the bed watching the video I was beside her massaging her and kissing her neck.  We didn't make it to the finale!

And this time I didn't let my mojo be adversely affected by restricted blood flow to vital regions of the body.  I focused on other areas of my body to stimulate.

At some point during the video Sandee rolled over and was on her back, me to the side.  I took that as an indication it was time to turn off the computer.  We kissed and slowly took each other's cloths off.

But this time instead of just worrying about the actual act of penetration I focused my mind on the total body experience.  For me that's not too hard.

Sandee long soft blond hair always smells so wonderful.  It was hypnotic to bury my face in it and breath in her scent as I kissed her cheeks, her nose, her neck, and shoulders.  Her legs felt so good wrapped around mine.  As always I worked up a sweat and soon there was that thin sheen of moisture between our chests and stomachs.  Her soft body gliding underneath mine was sublime.  And finally I love the  feeling of the perfect connection right at your pelvis; each joined together and moving in rhythm.

This time I didn't think I felt, smelled, tasted, touched and collectively felt that high.

It still took some time; it always does for me.  But early on I could tell it would happen for me this time, I just needed to relax and enjoy.  The more Sandee responded to me the closer I got.

Before I was not sure if Sandee had an orgasm, this time I was sure.  Of course there was the normal auditory indications, but those can be faked.  But soon enough I could feel the wetness on my legs.  It felt so slick down there it was hard to stay in.  I was sure this was good for her.

Knowing this was good for her turned me on and I could tell I was moments away.  But this wasn't just getting to a point of execution this was an explosion (on my part), truly that feeling you get in your stomach when you take that plunge down that roller coasters big hill!

After that we kind of flopped in a sweaty sexy mess and just laid there for a long time.  Unfortunately as always time was short.  We cleaned up and drove back to my car and said goodbye.

It was almost Christmas and we knew she would be going her way and I would be going mine.  Sandee had been a constant in my life now for almost five months.  We had written daily for the first two and then seen each other weekly for the last two and a half.  Now it would be at least two weeks before I saw her again and that felt troublingly troubling to me.  I think she felt it too.

But for now everything felt so good!

So folks, if there is one takeaway from this post or any other remember this:

It "ain't what you do it's the way that you do it!"

Monday, May 7, 2012

And as the Muzak Played Sooner or Later I Knew

Do you ever get the feeling that you have not brought enough Disco into your blog????

Yeah, me neither!   :)

But anywho, there you have it.

In 1977 Paul Nicholas became a "one hit wonder" with his song "Heaven on the 7th Floor" about an elevator hook up.  Of course he also charted in the UK with memorable hits like "Grandma's Party!"  But to be fair he is more well know as an actor appearing in stage, BBC sitcoms, and movies (including a lead roll in that wonderfully tacky Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band with the Bee Gees)

So what does that song have to do with me?

Well you know I like my music and I was really trying to think about a song about "hookin' up" at work and I just couldn't remember one.  I'm sure it will hit me as soon as I send this post out.  So this song was the closest thing I could think of to a song about doing what you are not supposed to do at work.

And why are we talking about this?  Well, after Sandee and I finally consummated our attraction at that motel we followed that up with a visit to my office the following Monday.  It was near the holidays and all my staff was going to be at a retreat type thing.  I was really going to take a vacation day but decided to stop by just to answer the phone so to speak and empty my e-mail inbox.  I thought it would be a great opportunity for Sandee to stop by for lunch and I would show her around.  Who knows what might happen?

So Sandee stopped by around noon.  We met slightly off site and I drove us back to my office.  I had picked up some Chinese for lunch and we were just going to eat it in a meeting area just on the chance someone stopped by (it would look legit).  We talked over lunch and everything was quiet and relaxing.  After lunch I showed her around the office, though not much to see.

We ended up in my office which is fairly private in that there is an ante room before you get to my office so to speak.  Nobody was in the ante room or the room outside the ante room so we were in good shape.

Sandee leaned back on my desk.  I stepped in front of her and we kissed.  After about a minute I couldn't help myself.  My hands hand moved around to her behind and now I lifted her up and sat down on a chair behind me.  Sandee is small and I'm fairly strong so I enjoy picking her up.  She was now on my lap and we were kissing passionately.  I moved down to her neck as my hand moved between her legs although still outside of her tight jeans.  With her head above me, Sandee's long blonde sweet smelling hair dangled in my face.  In fact at one point I leaned my head back and she slowly wave her hair over my face.  This was very hypnotic and I was loosing my inhibitions.

I was thinking some "oral action" might be attainable.

One slight challenge though.  While my office is private it is on a first floor and does have a window to the outside.  As we were kissing I see to my right a van pull up with two electricians.  They stop right in front of the window, not more than 15 ft from where we sat on the other side of the building's wall.  Don't worry though, my lights were off and I do have louvered shades (and of course I don't think they were expecting someone to be "messing around" in my office).

But I was quite sure they were coming in the building.

Why is it when you need an electrician or plumber or cable guy you have to wait from 9 am to 5 pm but when you don't want them they are right on your doorstep.

I decided to be proactive and go out and meet them.  I knew the work they were to be working on but just hadn't expected them so soon.

Again, why is it when you want an electrician their feet are practically burning to get onto the next stop but now that I want them to get the *uck out of Dodge they are now practicing their best customer service training by giving me a history of electricity and a schematic review of the entire electrical design and layout of the building.  Jesus!  Change that damn plug to three phase and get the *uck out of here or better yet come back later, I'm busy!

Well actually they were apparently just checking on something.  They told me about it and went on.

I returned to Sandee and we giggled.  She said "are you OK, I don't want to get you into trouble."

I said it was OK and soon we were back to kissing.  My mind was spinning.  Blow job?  Hand job?  A quickie from behind?  All that would be tremendously satisfying not to mention a fantastic blog entry!

But just as I was about to make that first move toward taking a crowbar to those tight jeans she had on, Mr. Electrician decided he had not been friendly enough to me and pulled up again.

We spoke again and decided any time would be fine to fix that outlet.  I reiterated nothing was going on today or tomorrow or anytime soon so go ahead, have at it.

Mr. Electricity left again but that kind of broke the momentum.

Sandee and I decide we needed another "soup date" later that week!

You know I was thinking about this post last night and it occurred to me that one of the guys that stopped by that day was in fact an electrician as I know him and he does a lot of work in the building.  However, the other guy who was with him was in fact not a guy but a fairly attractive women who is in fact not an electrician but one of the lead groundskeepers in this little area.  Again, I am familiar with her.

And so as I was drifting off to sleep it hit me, what if that Mr. Electrician and Ms. Groundskeeper were in fact in the market for the same activity as I was in and had gone to my building do just what I had hoped to do.  That would be just too funny!  I love a good paradox!

And of course I got an idea for a mini post.  So here is my addendum for today's post a faux blog.

The Sexy Adventures of Mr. Electricity! 

Who needs a "BoB" when you've got Mr. Electric!

Sometimes Idiots Just Don't Take a Hint!

So it's near the holidays and the building would be quiet. It's winter so Flora (I call her that because she's a groundskeeper - get it) is not too busy. She is so hot and it's been about three weeks since we've gotten together. Boy do I love tappin' that ass! I was talking to one of the office ladies in Suite 4B and she said everyone would be at a meeting on Monday. I asked if Mr. Beaumont would be there and she said she thought he was taking a vacation day. Perfect! This was the opportunity I was looking for. This guy Beaumont has a nice office. I can just picture Flora's tits hanging over his desk as she braces herself and I slap my dick between those two tight Ass cheeks!

This Beaumont guy is a total DIPSHIT so he will never notice we screwed all over his office.  Beaumont has a pretty hot wife and I would like to be doing Flora from behind while looking at wifey's shiny smile looking back at me.

So at lunch Flora and I go over to the building for our "special lunch break" and who do we see but that idiot Beaumont.  I tried to get his stupid ass to leave for about 30 minutes but the jerk just wouldn't take a hint.  Jesus, the guy doesn't do anything on a normal day why does he have to be here when nobody else is?  I guess for once he just wanted to be the most productive person in the office.

Oh well, time was getting short.  Flora and I went into the boiler room and I screwed her against the hot water heater.  I was drillin' her while standing up with her left leg wrapped around me.  As I was screwin' her from the front she enjoyed the warmth and vibrations of the boiler from the back against her pert ass.  She came so hard we were both got drenched.  I had to go to the mop closet to get a bucket and clean up!

Oh well, next time I'll just turn the water off to the building, maybe it will get that pompous jerk Beaumont to leave!  Or maybe I should turn off the router, what the hell does that guy do on that computer all day; probably blog about his yard or trips to Disney.  'Effin idiot is all I know!  Anyway, hopefully I'll have titty pictures of Flora up Thursday for HNT day!