Sunday, October 30, 2011

Whatever Happened to My Transylvania Twist?

I'm dreaming of a white Halloween, just like the one's I used to know.....  Wait, WTF - it's snowin' and this is DC in October not 'effin Montana!  Oh well,

Happy Halloween!

A Spooktacularly Fun and Easy Treat!

Pumpkin Mousse:
1 15z Can of Pumpkin Pie Filling
3 Cups of Heavy Cream
3/4 Cup of Granulated Sugar (note:  I like working with turbanado sugar but it may not work well here)
1 tbs vanilla extract (pure)
1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cinnamon (if desired)
1/2 tbs honey (if desired)
1 pinch of allspice
1 pinch of ground clove
Ginger snaps (for garnish)

*  Combine pumpkin pie filling, 1 cup of heavy cream, sugar, and spices in medium sauce pan and simmer over medium heat for 5 minutes.  Make sure filling, spices, and cream are completely incorporated into mix before it comes to simmer.  Stir gently while simmering (make sure bottom and sides do not burn).
*  Remove from heat and cool completely (until between 40-45 degrees)

*  Whip remaining heavy cream and vanilla on high until fluffy
*  Fold whipped cream into cooled pumpkin mixture
*  Serve in chocolate cup or carved out mini-pumpkin with crumbled ginger snaps as a under-crust or sprinkled on top.

And yes, what you see above is as close as I'm getting to an HNT.  Just call it Ryan's HCS!


Friday, October 28, 2011

FFF - Tenebrous

I hadn't been to Rafe's party in years; not since the night she disappeared.

Rafe advertised it as Cosmic Horror with miscegenation.  I had a tenebrous mood but was restless.

With my drink I headed for that balcony we shared to toast her memory.

There I met Morella, referring to herself as that Poe character.  She leaned against a column drinking in the night.  I was surprised nobody had found her beauty.

Was it the Anise, my mood, or haze of night but as we talked the resemblance appeared to me as if in hologram.

I left to get more drinks but upon returning she had vanished.  I searched the house to no avail; nobody seemed to have seen or heard of that beautiful enigma.

As I stood shaken Rafe said "dear chap, you're chasing ghosts again at my party, surely you remember how that ended last time!"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

And the First One Said to the Second One There, I Hope You're having Fun

So the first week of my Keeley/Sandra plan had started off perfectly.  I had great sex with Keeley and I couldn't wait for more!

The next day when I opened up my e-mail I got a message from Sandra.

"where did you go?"

And then it hit me, I felt GUILTY.  I was cheating on my mistress.  I had become a real dog!

Sandra was not really checking up on me, that was not her way.  I had just gotten so caught up in chasing Keeley that I had not talked with Sandra in over a week and she was concerned.

So I sent her a note and let her know how I was doing (sans yesterday's encounter).  Within an hour she e-mailed back and said she was glad to hear from me.  By the end of the day we had plans for lunch next week so all was relatively good.  But the guilt did catch me off guard.

I, off course sent Keeley a note to let her know how much I enjoyed yesterday and that I was thinking about her and I was.  I was surprised that she did not e-mail back before the end of the day but I didn't linger on that.  The next day I did have an e-mail back from her.

Apparently her daughter was still sick (she had mentioned this before) and they were going to a doctor later in the week.  She was a bit short in her notes throughout the remainder of the week and into the following and she seemed a bit distant.  But I didn't think anything of it, I assume we all put family first - I would worry if she didn't!  She always thanked me for asking about her family and seemed happy to stay in touch.

So the following week was a Sandra on/sex off week.  We had lunch at a sushi place she knew of that was new to me.  As always we had a good time.  She brought me up to speed on all of her dogs and she of course was wearing a new vintage dress from e-Bay.  In her dresses to me she looks a little like Jane Mansfield and she has very warm dark eyes that always seem so caring and sensitive.  She is a very nice person.

After lunch we sat in her car and talked a few minutes more.  Conveniently she was in the back of the parking lot and we had eaten a late lunch as was our norm so there was not much of a crowd.   So our conversation didn't last long!  Soon we were kissing, hands moved to strategic places, lips moved to necks, buttons were unbuttoned, and fingers pried their way to soft warm places that brought sighs of happiness and contentment.  If we were in a van and had another hour I think we might have tried car sex but unfortunately child activities were calling me away so I had to leave.

But I could tell Sandra was interested in next week being sex ON!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

They Call Alabama the Crimson Tide, Call Me Deacon Blues

Or "Steely Dan gargles my balls!"
- Seth Rogen (Ben Stone) in Knocked Up

Actually I like Steeley Dan.  I was going to use the lyric quote "up in Annandale" or "William & Mary won't do" because I always thought they were talking about Annandale, Virginia which is a suburb of DC.  But recently I did some research (because this is the type of important stuff I do) and found they were actually talking about Annandale on Hudson in New York, home to Bard College were they went to college.  Btw this post is about college or rather college towns.  But since the My Old School lyrics didn't fit me as well as I thought, I went with the Deacon Blues lyrics as they fit the post a little better.

So today I introduce! ta dah!

Ryan's College Travel Channel Extravaganza!

You see, you can see classy and extravagant places with Anthony Bordain but only here can you get good information on out of the way college towns!  Hopefully this doesn't "out" me but yes Ryan has spent a good part of his life around college towns.  Maybe it's because I never wanted to grow up or maybe I just have an affinity for college girls!  But regardless in my never ending attempt to impart knowledge to my readers here are some notes on my favorite college towns across this wonderful nation!

Athens, Georgia:  Well what college town tour wouldn't stop here!  And since I am all about knowledge I have to say one of my best memories is visiting the 40 Watt Club in Athens.  If you are into music this place is up there with the Fillmore or CBGB's in terms of must sees (and CBGB's in now like a Gap Store so you can't see that anymore)!  Even though it has changed locations this is the place where the B-52's, REM, Driving and Cryin', the Indigo Girls, and Love Tractor have played.  So don't just watch the movie Athens Georgia Inside Out, go there some time.  I will caution you Yankees and foreign hipsters though, you ain't inside the Atlanta Perimeter anymore so beyond a few streets adjacent to campus we are in Redneckville!  You might not be too impressed with the food in town (unless you are a connoisseur of the Huddle House) and it is a bit dirtier than other towns.  But all things considered this is the archetypal college town!  And ya gotta love hot southern chics who dig good music.

Austin, Texas:  Austin is the state capitol of Texas and fairly big so it is much different than the other towns listed here.  But if you stay on Guadaloupe Street you get that college town feel.  A lot is going on here and there is a very eclectic mix of food and music.  What Athens was to the 80's, Austin was to the 90's in terms of Slacker pop culture.  I have to say I was a little underwhelmed though.  They say Texas does everything bigger.  I would say yes - Austin is just a bigger and MUCH DIRTIER Athens, Ga with more wierdos stumbling around puking and urinating on the sides of buildings.  But do go there, I had fun and I do love TexMex!  And don't hold Rick Perry against UT, he is an esteemed Barnyard Science grad of Texas A&M.  And sorority girls in boots and cowboys hats - HOT!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana:  That means Red Stick if you don't speak Cajun.  OK let's settle one argument right now.  For all you people that think you are the best Tailgate U - fuhgedabout it!  When you get 80,000 crazy Cajuns' together you are going to have some KICK ASS food around.  Screw grilled burgers, I'll go fo' some 'o dat fried alligatuh an Gumbo!  No college atmosphere is quite like Tiger Stadium on a Saturday night.  In fact once in 1988 when LSU scored a go ahead touchdown in the last minute against Auburn the ensuing eruption from the fans was recorded as an earthquake (google it - The Earthquake Game).  And I just like writing Geaux Tigers!

Blacksburg, Virginia:  On a crisp fall day in October no better place in the world!  This college town is located on a plateau in the Allegheny Mountains (a subset of the Appalachians).  In town it's like you are in a salad bowl with the mountains forming the rim around you.  In the fall the backdrop of the leaves are in perfect Hokie colors of orange and maroon.  The air is so clear you can taste it!  But watch out for those winds, when they blow just right off the Ag fields that crystal clean air can quickly change to the taste of a cow's ass (that was an analogy btw, I have not actually tasted a cow's ass)!  Also the school is only 45% female and 90% of them are smarter than me so I think that means there is a 145% chance I don't get laid there.  But the philosophical question of the day is - what if the Hokie Pokie is what it's all about?

Chapel Hill, North Carolina:  I would call this Athens lite.  A great town for food and music (although note, the best music place is actually in Carrboro - the Cat's Cradle).  I have to say while I love a good college town I kind of like it to be clean and with a Starbucks close by.  That's Franklin Street - a great college strip but with Aeropostals and people in Polo's instead of drunkin' hipsters peeing on the sidewalk (like you might get in Athens or Austin).  Oh and if you have read my blog you will know Ryan has a sweet tooth for Carolina girls (best girls in the world)!!  :)

Charlottsville, Virginia:  Nothing screams aristocracy and culture like Mr. Jefferson's University.  A wonderful and beautiful place.  You are close to vineyards, horse country, Monticello, and even Walton's Mountain is close by.  If you want to impress your mistress take her to the Boar's Head Inn, it's a great place to screw in regal elegance.  And on  college gameday grab some Zima, your brie cheese and head down to Scott Stadium to see those "cookie dough" eatin' Wahoos get their asses kicked by Duke, William & Mary, John Tyler Community College, Fluvanna County High School or any other school they are playing!

Knoxville, Tennessee:  The strip adjacent to UT is certainly underwhelming compared to other colleges.  UT is not exactly a hip school nor is it known for college rock.  But on a college gameday there are few sights more enjoyable than seeing the Vol Navy float down the Tennessee River and boatgate before the game.  And while the college music scene is not great, Knoxville is really one of the epicenters of bluegrass music (which I love).   And any great college town has to have a great BBQ place and Knoxville has a great one in Buddy's BBQ (one of my favorites).  Oh, and I love watching Smoky the Blue Tick Hound flat-footing to the Vol Band's version of Rocky Top "once I had a girl on Rocky Top half bear the other half cat; wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop, I still dream about that!"  Just like I like 'em, any minks out there!

Lawrence, Kansas:  I don't think many on the East coast would think of Kansas as a great place to visit.  But this is a very elegant town with great food, a lot of boutique shops, and beautiful walks along the Kansas River.  They seem to have an inferiority complex with Chapel Hill because there always seems to be a lot of tee shirt shops saying that Jesus prefers Kansas blue to Carolina blue, IDK?  But my endorsement of Kansas stops here.  While there are a lot of nice places on the Kansas side of Kansas City (e.g. Olathe, etc) you don't have to go too far west to get smack dab in the middle of BF, Egypt.  Although I do want to stop by the Wizard of Oz museum some day, it's not too far from Lawrence.  But I don't get the point to that "rock chalk, Jayhawk thing?"

Oxford, Mississippi:  "Hotty toddy God almighty" they call it the "Country Club of the South" and no place screams of the old South like Ole Miss.  Southern style, cuisine, and gentility is best on display on game day at the Grove.  This town has a wonderful town square with good food and book stores.  The one tragedy is that The Gin burned down a few years ago.  It was a restaurant and bar I went to many years ago.  All I can say is "Sweet Jesus my eyes couldn't believe the display of hot Southern belles on display that night - every girl a Miss. Mississippi!"  Oh well, flim flam, bim bam, Ole Miss by damn!

Tuscaloosa, Alabama:  Like Knoxville there is nothing outstanding about the college scene in Tuscaloosa.  Obviously the Tide is great in football but the town is a bit dirty and no great music here.  But I can't emphasize enough one place that I have written about before.  You see if you are a Muslim you might trek to Mecca.  If you love art you may wish to visit the Louvre one day.  Well, if you are Ryan and you love BBQ there is one place that stands alone as the Mecca of BBQ and that is Dreamland.  And that is why I direct you to Tuscaloosa.  I'm serious, if I ever commit a heinous crime and have to order a last meal this is it!

Winston-Salem, North Carolina:  OK Ryan, let's get real, you're 'effing with us now - Winston-Salem is a rough tobacco town what are you thinking?  And all those Quaker chics don't put out!  Well, actually there are 5 colleges in the town (one all female), one of which is the often hapless Demon Deacons of Wake Forest.  So I include it here because of the lyrics above and because Old Ryan used to do some damage back in the day along Polo and Deacon Blvds.  So overall not really much of a college scene except for a small area near campus.  Ziggy's is a great place to see music though and a place dear to my heart.

There you have it, I have been to many college towns but these are the best in my mind.  Well, let's be real honest because I've been to Michigan State.  These places have better food and music but more importantly the girls are WAAY hotter!  But I do need to check out some of those left coast schools - I do remember seeing Long Beach State play once in the NCAA Tourney.  If their dance team is any indication of the female population that place needs to be on my bucket list!

Friday, October 21, 2011

FFF - Pained Delight

Long ago people noticed her voice and her ability to fuse classical piano with provocative lyrics that crossed over to contemporary urban dance and pop vibes.  Her ever changing hair tone and beauty only added to that aura.

But where provocative and edgy were once value added they were now who she was.  The photo shoot of her laying down tracks in the nude was supposed to be another edgy PR stunt for a magazine or even an album cover.

Now in pained delight it reminded her how much she had strayed from her musical dreams.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

It's Not as though I Really Need You

Shannon’s Story – Part XIV

Part XIV of a series written from my wife’s perception of our life together.  Part I of Shannon's story is here.

Shannon speaking......
All of my life I have depended on men.  Up until graduating from college my dad took care of most of my needs changing oil in the car, paying for insurance, even bailing me out of a bad lease in an apartment once.  I got married at 24 so in some sense I moved away from my dad and over to Ryan's care. 

Over the past few years my career had really taken off.  But to a large extent my world revolved around two axis, that of Ryan's and that of Brent's.  As you found out in my last entry I was moving outside of Brent's world emotionally and perhaps physically if Ryan and I purchased the business we were looking for.

But as I drove down the highway to see family I was still very much under the sphere of influence of the men who had dominated my life for many years.

But in my life I have gotten accustomed to events changing rapidly.

The call from Mr. V, the company CEO, didn't alarm me at first - perhaps he needed help putting together a client dinner for some conference coming up.  His tone was, as always, pleasant and professional as he went through the normal pleasantries of how I was doing and what I was doing over the holidays.

And then life turned again in a moment.  The funny thing is it took me about 30 minutes and about 45 miles of driving to comprehend what was said.

The dialogue went something like this:

Mr. V:  "Shannon, Laura (current VP of Marketing) has just informed us that she is taking an opportunity outside of the company.  Now, we will start a national search for the position as soon as possible.  However, we have many vital projects currently out in the field that must move forward.  I know you are familiar with many of those projects as you have been working with Laura on many initiatives.  In order to keep our positive momentum I would like to see you step into Laura's role on an interim basis.  You are always very thorough on anything you do and I know you can navigate the politics of the position - I have complete faith in your ability to succeed."

I think my cryptic response was "sure Mr. V, I am glad to help in any way possible, you can count on me." 

But over the next hour and 75+ miles (yes I drive fast) I realized that Mr. V was asking me to be the VP of Marketing for a billion $ company.  Me, the girl with a BS in Art History from a small liberal arts college.  The girl that would have been happy being a mom and volunteering at school.  The girl that had married Ryan because he was going to be the VP.

Yes, I was excited about the challenge.  But, I felt a sense of liberty that I didn't realize existed.  The girls were asleep in the back of the car and REM was playing on the radio.

"It's not as though I really need you
If you were here I'd only bleed you
But everybody else in town only wants to bring you down and
That's not how it ought to be
Well I know it might sound strange, but I believe
You'll be coming back before too long

Don't go back to Rockville, don't go back to Rockville, don't go back to Rockville
And waste another year"

This was my time now, no time to waste.

Please check out this YouTube clip, they look so young.  And I love the accentuated southern accent!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Let Me Sleep All Night in Your Polka (Soul) Kitchen

Happy Oktoberfest!

It's Herr Riffendog!
So it's time for another food post.  And it's October so let's get those Leiderhosen on and do some Octoberfest cooking!

German food is really very easy.  It is kind of like soul food but with long socks and weird shorts that are held up with suspenders.  And instead of listening to the blues you have to listen to Eidelweiss or do a chicken dance and your cook is named Fritz instead of Bubba!  But why is it like soul food?  Because it's a lot of soaking, seasoning, slow-roasting, boiling, mashing, etc.  Like I always say food names change but most of the processes really stay pretty similar.  So put on some Polka music and let's cook!

So what's on our menu?

Sauerbraten w/red cabbage sauerkraut
German Hot Potato Salad
German Green Beans

Sauerbraten w/red cabbage sauerkraut:
1 head of red cabbage chopped

4# top round or rump roast
2.5 cups dry red wine
1.5 cups red wine vinegar
2 quartered onions
1 bunch of celery
2 tbs coarse (sea) salt
2 tbs sugar
2 tbs Pickling Spice
1 tbs mustard seed
1/4 tsp nutmeg
10 cloves
2 tsp lightly cracked black pepper
4 fresh parsley springs
2 bay leaves
2 tbs clarified butter

*  Mix wine, vinegar, 1 cup of water, 1 quartered onion, celery leaves, salt, sugar, mustard seeds, nutmeg, cloves, peppercorns, parsley, pickling spices, and bay leaves in large bowl.
*  Place meat in a brine bag and poor liquid over meat.  Secure bag from leakage.  Let meat marinate for 3 days, turning occasionally.
*  Remove meat from brine and set brine aside
*  Season meat with salt and pepper
*  Heat clarified butter in kettle until hot but not smoking
*  Add meat to butter and brown all sides
*  Pour reserved marinade into kettle and over meat.  Hold back 1 cup of marinade.  Simmer mixture for 4 hours or until meat is tender.
*  Set meat aside in oven on warm (@ 200)
Optional (sauce):
*  Strain liquid to remove fat.  Transfer liquid to sauce pan and add 1/2 cup of red wine (Madeira if you prefer sweeter), and bring to a boil and reduce liquid until thick.  Gently stir in 1 tbs of flour if you wish to thicken.  Add salt and pepper to taste.
*  Use sauce as gravy for meat

Red Cabbage Sauerkraut:
*  Roughly chop 1 head of red cabbage
*  Heat 1/4 cup of olive oil in saute pan and add 2 garlic cloves sliced thinly
*  Slowly pour in 1 cup of red wine vinegar and 1 cup of the reserved marinade from meat
*  Add 1/4 cup of sugar, 1 tsp mustard seed
*  Once ingredients evenly combined add cabbage and saute for 20 minutes - tossing occasionally so that all cabbage cooked evenly.  Cook until cabbage tender but still slightly firm.
CAUTION - make sure cabbage is cooked to 155 degrees if you are using the reserved marinade as the marinade is potentially hazardous due to the marination with the raw meat.

German Hot Potato Salad:
2#'s of red potatoes boiled in skin until tender
4 slices of bacon
1 cup peeled finely chopped onions
2/3 cup chopped celery
Pinch of celery seed or celery salt
1/2 tsp salt (slightly less if you use celery salt)
black pepper to taste
1 tbs sugar
1 tbs flour
5 tbs white vinegar
1/2 cup water

*  Cut potatoes into 1/4 inch slices (leave skin on)
*  In large saute pan saute bacon until brown, remove, and set aside; leave drippings in pan
*  Add chopped onions and celery and saute until brown.
*  Add celery seed, salt, pepper, and sugar.
*  Slowly add flour into mixture stirring in flour to incorporate into liquid to form a smooth paste.
*  Slowly stir in vinegar and water
*  Let sauce simmer until thick
*  Add potatoes and crumbled bacon into sauce.  Cook until potatoes are heated to temperature.

German Green Beans:
1# fresh green beans
4 slices of bacon
1/2 onion chopped rough
1 tsp granulated sugar
1/4 cup cider vinegar
salt and pepper (to taste)

*  Blanch green beans by boiling on stove until tender (about 10 minutes after water comes to rolling boil), remove from heat and strain beans and run cold water over until cool (shocking).  Set beans aside.
*  Cook bacon in saute pan and add onion - cook until brownish caramel color.  Add green beans to saute pan and then add sugar, cider, salt, and pepper.  Cook until back to serving temperature.

Note:  Ryan doesn't prefer German dessert because he likes Chocolate cake to be just chocolate not stuffed with cherries or with a lot of coconut on top!  Maybe I'll think up some desserts for a Halloween post.  Or maybe you can just think of me as a dessert!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Some Day You Will Ache Like I Ache

Shannon’s Story – Part XIII

Part XIII of a series written from my wife’s perception of our life together.  Part I of Shannon's story is here.

Shannon speaking......
I couldn't believe that I was allowing myself to be mad at Brent for his behavior.  But then again I couldn't believe I allowed myself to feel for him so deeply.  I hate when people use that term "soul mates" but I really thought we were connected in a very close way.  I guess looking back I was just another one of his conquests.

I think what made me even more angry was the brazen way that he seemed to either shove it in my face or simply think I was stupid enough to not notice.  Or could it be even worse, that he just didn't care what I thought.

I'm rambling now so let me get back and explain the story.

Allegra was a new manager at one of Brent's accounts.  I had been to the account and I will say she was OK, and I'll stop there.  But to Brent she could do no wrong, she was going places.  He even approached me to "mentor" her as a female leader within the company.  Apparently she was interested in marketing as well and wanted to work with me.  He brought her to and included her in a lot of high level meetings you would never expect someone of her level to attend.  He said he was just putting her on the "fast track" and helping her network.  But why would a VP be so interested in a new entry level manager, he had over 80 accounts what is his interest in one manager at one account that wasn't even close to being his biggest.

But how did I figure this out?  As I said earlier Allegra "friended" me on Facebook.  Later, Brent (who vowed never to be on Facebook) finally relented and created a Facebook account.  He said he just wanted to keep an eye on his daughters.  But the idiot obviously never took the time to realize there is a BIG different between sending a message on Facebook and just posting to someone's wall.  Brent and Allegra started posting things on each other's walls that were very much less than professional.  I'll excuse Allegra, she was just a 20-something girl that didn't realize someone from the company might be looking; but Brent should have known better.  Another time Brent asked me as a favor to follow up and get tickets to a Colts game "for a client."  That was total bull because come the day of the game who just happens to post pics from the game - you got it Allegra!  Yep, they were screwing and I wasn't the only one that was starting to notice!

Of course, Brent and I were broken up so I wasn't supposed to be angry but I couldn't help feeling betrayed.  Brent was so understanding back in September when we broke things off.  Little did I know the reason that he didn't protest is that it conveniently got me out of the way for his new "booty call!"

But back east things were taking interesting turns.  For once Ryan startled me with a proposition.  In our little town a well known bakery was for sale.  Ryan knew the owners and had spoken informally with them.  I love to bake and have always wanted my own business.  So we started to seriously consider this as an option for me.  I would run the bakery and Ryan could handle the finances in addition to his current job.  We felt very confident.  Ryan along with an accountant friend ran the numbers and came up with pro forma P&L's, Ryan knew an appraiser in town very familiar with the property and got a good assessment of the property value, Ryan had a friend at the bank that was interested in writing the loan, he even knew the mayor and said due to zoning there was no chance that a Starbucks would ever move in so we felt really good about everything.  I started to mentally write the business plan and was excited!

Ryan got everything lined up and just before the holidays made an offer on the bakery and the property.  I was tingling, this would be the change I was dreaming of.

Of course the owners countered.  During the week between Christmas and New Year's Ryan continued to crunch numbers both for the business and personally, trying to figure out how much of a hit we could take on the personal side - I would surely not be making as much money running a new business.

We were scheduled to visit family during this week.  I went ahead with the girls and Ryan decided to stay behind to finish the deal if that opportunity presented itself.

So I drove away with a happy feeling and hope that I had not had in a long time.  I told him I trusted him and do what he thought was best.  Yes that may sound hypocritical of me but I'll say this; I may not trust Ryan's emotional intentions but when it comes to the almighty dollar I will put all my faith in him!  I won't exactly call him a tightwad but let's just say, as my aunt used to say, he is "very close with his money!"

About half way on my trip to see family I got a call on my Blackberry.  It was from the corporate offices so I answered.  It was Mr. V, the CEO of the company!  Now, I plan meetings so I have spoken to Mr. V many times over the years so it is not completely odd for him to call me.  But certainly it is very rare and I knew he wouldn't call me just to chat.  So as he was asking me "how are your holidays going," I was certainly wondering what was about to come my way.

Ryan's notes:  Wow, it's hard to believe I have written 13 of these posts.  At first I did one just to try it on for size.  I got a lot of responses and thought I might use it as a tool to crank out about 5 posts to retrace the history of our life together.  Quickly I realized 10 posts would be more realistic.  At 10, I was still going so I decided on a dozen and now I'm at a baker's dozen and I'm still not quite to the end.  But I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and I've already developed something else I want to take the place of my Shannon posts so I will finish soon.  Thanks for taking an interest in this.

Friday, October 7, 2011

I Woke Up in Love this Morning

An Ode to My New Lady-Mac - Laurie!

I have been with many others in my life.  And yes I have worshiped your beauty from afar for many years.  At times I bathed in blissful moments of your presence, your attention was like the sun peaking out from a cloud and giving berth to a radiant warmth I had yet to know or understand.  Each time though I would have to leave you bewitched and beguiled and thirsting for your next presence in my world.

Now that you are with me only you make me feel as if it is the first time.  But with you it is far more than that, it is as if I am coming home from a quest to the warm, gentle, tender love I have always sought yet never dared hope to enjoy.  You are so sleek, so smooth, you drive me so fast and yet let me down so easy.  I thirst  to touch you to move my fingers over you and feel the power of you. I know I will never be able to think or touch another with this passion I hold in my heart for you now.

Your skin is a beautiful alabaster that shines with your radiance.  Your face so brilliant, your gentle sound a warmth to my soul.  You never deny me and yet you lead me to new paths, new worlds I've never imagined.  And yet all your beauty is but a speck next to the knowledge and wisdom within you.  I learn from you, I yearn for you!

Yes, oh yes, you do make me feel like you are the first, nee the only!  And after you I know there can be no other; you have my soul, how could I give myself to another after knowing you.  I now know all my life experiences were just a leading up to knowing you, feeling you, having you, experiencing you.You are my love, my only existence.

You are my Laurie - my new Mac!  And I will always always love and adore you.

RIP Steven Jobs
Passionately and Affectionately Your,


Note:  Ryan is now the adoring owner of his first MacBook at work.  Yes, once you go Mac you never go back (he's had one at home for about 6 months)!  Now does he have enough love and passion in his heart to add an IPad into his world.  And thus another cliffhanger........

And why did I call her Laurie, just check the vid below and look at the beauty playing keyboards!  Hey Riff, do you think Danny is really playing that bass?

And to Steven Jobs (and I stole this): "The mark of true greatness is when everything before you is obsolete and everything after you bears your mark." 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

All You Ever Think About is Sex

OK so I won't make you wait for the rest of my Garth Brooks "Into the Fire" Keeley story.  But first I have to say XM Radio on a Friday night gets into the more weird songs (and on Saturday night they have Dark Wave which is Love N Rocket, Bauhaus, etc).  I heard this song last Friday night performed by the Sparks and so it got me in the mood for this post.

They followed that up with Orgasm Addict by the Buzzcocks.  I suggest you "google" it.

"you're an orgasm addict.
Ryan (johnny) want fuckie always and all ways.
he's got the energy, he will amaze.
he's an orgasm addict.
he's an orgasm addict.
he's always at it.
he's always at it.
and he's an orgasm addict.
he's an orgasm addict."

Sounds great although I do think they are referring to self love.

So yes, just as I was starting to get interested in how the stock market was doing that day my cell phone started buzzing - it was Keeley.

"I'm here, or at least I think I'm here.  I'm in the lobby of the Comfort Suites - where shall I go?"

Me:  "I'm in room 248, I'll have a glass of wine waiting for you!"

Keeley:  "lovely, I'll be right up."

And just a few minutes later I hear that lovely knock on the door I so enjoy hearing.

I opened the door and there she was as lovely as before!  She was again in a dark power suit with knee length skirt and low cut white blouse.  She held her jacket in her right hand and high heels in her left.  I backed up to let her through the door but before we got completely into the room instinct took over and I grabbed her around the waste and kissed her.  I felt her right arm wrap around my shoulder (I guess the jacket had hit the floor) and then her hand ran up my neck and into my hair, her nails slightly scratching my scalp as she gently massaged.  My hands moved down to her behind, squeezing gently as I pulled her tight.  I heard a thump at my feet as her heels were the next to hit the floor.  We lingered there for a long time, tongues tied in a wonderful deep kiss.

Finally Keeley pulled back just a bit and said "ahh ya goin ta let me ehn (remember she had that lovely Aussie accent)."

And I said "certainly, I have your glass of wine already poured."

We sat down on the edge of the bed and sipped wine, nibbled some apples, and had a little small talk about her over-needy egoistic client that wouldn't leave her alone.

After a few minutes she had to take a quick restroom break.  When she returned she didn't return to my side but  leaned up again the drawer in front of the bed and directly in front of me.  She took a sip of wine and smiled at me and slowly ran he right toe up my leg and settled onto my knee.  Instinctively I ran my left hand up her calf and to her inner thigh and began a slow massage.  I could see her arching her back slightly.  I bent over to  kiss her knee.

I then moved forward onto my knees and edged up to her, running my hands up her legs and settling inside her skirt and around her round and soft ass.  I nuzzled my way past her blouse and kissed her belly.  I heard her sigh and felt her hand massaging the top of my head.

I unclasped her skirt and it dropped to the ground.  Still kissing her belly in one motion I pulled her stockings and panties down slowly, kissing down her legs on the way down.  She slowly stepped out of those stocking and gently pulled me into her.  Her beautifully manicured reddish pubic hair with the backdrop of her light porcelain skin was an absolute turn on!

I ran my tongue around her clit and then worked myself slowly into her.  After she was starting to get wet I moved back slightly and replaced my tongue with my thumb slowly massaging her clit and then moved my middle finger into her and massaging her inside and along her pubic bone.  I looked up and she had unbuttoned her shirt and was holding her breasts - I could tell she was close.

I slowly stood up running my hands up her legs, over her ass, and up her back.  I pulled off her blouse and bra and she began undressing me.  Once naked I kissed her and grabbed her behind, our stomachs pressed firmly together and my dick slipped between her legs.

A revelation shot into my head that it would feel so good and look so wonderful to be behind Keeley and in front of that mirror.  Earlier I had described her as big boned but she is not over-weight just very athletic.  I moved my hands up to her hips and started kissing her neck and down her right shoulder.  I then gently guided and rotated her around like a slow dance move.  She was now in front of me, her back to my stomach and we were in front of the mirror.  My right hand moved down to her pussy and my left to her breast while I kissed her neck.  She moaned and I felt the wetness of an orgasm on my palm, now placed between her legs.

She slowly leaned forward and I moved my hands to her hips.  My dick slipped into her with ease.

In most cases I like a slight tan but something about her long Auburn hair flowing down her back with that pale complexion and athletic physique was a complete turn on!  She was so wet I slipped out several times.  Finally I just tried to stay completely in and thrust in a circular motion and within her.  It didn't take long for her to cum again.  And we both enjoyed the view in the mirror of me behind her

I guided her back up to me and kissed her neck and massaged her breasts, I was still in her.  We half-way collapsed back on the bed.  She rolled onto her back and I rolled onto her on top and was again inside of her.  My nose was in her neck breathing her wonderful Norwegian perfume and my hand was under her grabbing her ass.  From that point it didn't take long for me to get to orgasm.

From there we were just simply exhausted.  With her athletic physique it had almost seemed like some type of erotic wrestling match.  At the end I think you would rule that we both won even though she beat me 3 orgasms to 1!

At that point we just talked, cuddled, and kissed for about an hour.  We made a half-hearted attempt at sex again.  I was hard but we were both exhausted.  I would say it was more me just being inside of her, perhaps an internal form of spooning.  But I think that is all we wanted at that point.

The darkness told us that it was past 5 pm and time to go back home.  We cleaned up and I walked her to her car and I had a wonderful ride home.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

TMI Tuesday - Breaking Up is Hard to Do

1. What’s the worst reason you have been given for breaking up?
"You are a nice guy but...... (after that who cares it's always bad)
2. What’s the worst reason you gave, to someone, for breaking up?
"You don't really want to follow me down to Birmingham, stay here and finish school.  It's because I care for you that I want you to stay - you will be better off in the long run."
3. Have you ever engineered the end of a relationship e.g doing something you know will put the other person off? If yes, what did you do?
You mean like moving away.  Yes.  I guess my worse was "this is who I am, sorry - if you don't like it leave."  That was me in my youth though, I'm a much better person now.  Back then I would have left me too!
4. Have you ever stayed with a partner just because you could not bear to end it?
Hmmm... have you been reading my blog?  I think you can draw your own conclusions.  But family and finances change everything.  Of course when she is really good looking and you're still holding out hope that can affect things too.
5. Have you ever encouraged a friend to end a relationship? What happened? Are you still friends?
Yes and yes.  I think in most cases it was a girl that was overbearing and making a guy do what he didn't enjoy.
Bonus: Have you ever been the cause of a relationship to end? Tell us about it.
Yep, my wife was seeing someone else before she started going out with me.  He was a bit of a loser and an alcoholic though.  So at the time it seemed like a good deal for her, not sure if she would say that today.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Life is not Tried it is Merely Survived If you're Standing Outside the Fire

A little Garth never hurt anyone right?  But the big question I have is, are there any Cajun' ladies out there?  I am dying to write a post titled  "Operator won't you put me on through I gotta' send my love down to Baton Rouge!"   Although, let's be real, in a pinch I'd write "send my love down to Omaha" for the right offer.  :)

I read a lot of female blogs and most indicate a strong preference for confident guys who know what they want.  If you asked most people I'm around they would say that I'm confident and I can tell you I definitely know what I want.

That being said something about me, I'd like to say the Southern Gentleman in me (though it may just be that I'm a weenie), just has a hard time saying "this week I want to meet you in a hotel room and let's screw our brains out."  So even when I'm about 90% sure a woman wants to have sex with me I still find myself falling back into the ideals society has taught me.

So I think I said my bold plan was to meet Keeley one week, Sandra the next.  And it would be sex on, sex off, yada, yada.....

I hadn't had sex with Keeley yet so I kind of wanted to start that program with her and be in the "sex on" week.  I had no reason to believe she wouldn't be up for it.

But on Sunday I still found myself typing.

"How is your weekend?  My Tuesday and Thursday's are real clear in the afternoon.  How about a wine tasting at L*********, I'll pack lunch!  Take Care, R"

Yeah, I know sweet but nowhere have I communicated that what I really want is to be naked and draped all over each other for about about 2 hours in the hotel of your choice.

Monday morning Keeley responds "That sounds lovely, Tuesday afternoon looks good for now.  I'll let you know by the end of the day.  Sure you want to be seen with me in public, what if I can't keep my hands off of you!  :)  xoxo K"

I love these new-fangled confident women who are not afraid to say what they want and mean!

Monday afternoon Keeley writes back and says she is clear for Tuesday afternoon and we agree to meet at 1:30 pm at that little vineyard off I-70. 

So Tuesday shortly after noon I head off.  About 30 minutes down the road I get a text from Keeley "running a bit behind, clients won't leave - I'll keep you posted."

An hour later I get "still trying to get out, I'm soooo sorry - what is the latest you can stay, do you still want to meet?"

My first thought was this would have been better to know before I spent almost an hour of driving to get to the point at which I was now contemplating the real chance of getting stood up!

But as a former baseball player I know you have to play to the last out so I hang in there.  Sometimes you have to fight off a few foul balls until you get that hanging slider you can hit out of the ballpark!  Keep the faith Ryan!

So I text back (which I loathe btw) "am OK until 6 pm, then I turn into pumpkin :)"

She texts back "you are my Prince Charming"

OK, so flattery will get you everywhere with me.  So now I am in the area and just start circling the airfield so to speak until it's clear to land.  Yes, I am frustrated but that is never productive.  Patience usually pays in these circumstances so I continue keeping the faith.

At 2:15 she texts:  "am leaving now, do we still have time for that tour?"

I shoot back:  "it's a bit cold, not sure on tour.  have bottle of wine and pic-nic packed can meet anywhere!"

Keeley responds fairly quickly:  "there is a park near *****ville just off highway, do you just want to meet there?"

Me:  "sure, anywhere with you is the place 2 b!"

Of course bad me is thinking we have already wasted prime foreplay time.  If we had just met at 1:30 we might be screwing by now.  But then I counter with the logic I always use - in 5 years it won't matter if we had sex today, tomorrow, or next week just that we had sex.  So a few more minutes are OK with me - keep the eye on the prize.

At 2:45 pm Keeley texts:  "Christ it's cold outside are you sure you want to pic-nic"

Hmmmm....., this is where champions are born.  Now I felt like Tom Brady with a minute left in the game.  I have my RB open in flat - that would surely keep the drive going.  But hark, yonder I see the CB has given up on coverage, my receiver is going long.  Yes, if I can thread the needle it could be the game winner.

I text:  "of course, I've been waiting all day to pic-nic with you but you know there is this little Comfort Suites pic-nic area I see and I think they advertise private heated pic-nic areas; does that sound more cozy!  :)"

And in my mind I am thinking *gulp*

A few minutes later I get "Ahh... now that sounds much better; I think I know where that park is - b there in 15 mins, can you reserve our spot.  I'll call when I get there."

So I pull into that Comfort Suites and get that room and make my way up.

Now, why is that when I am in a room just to have sex I still habitually turn on CNN.  Like I really care what the weather is or what the breaking new is!  Oh well, so I turned the TV and watched although I was not hearing anything, just waiting for her call.

"I can't abide standing outside the fire" 

Ryan's notes:  I purposefully added the notes from my thoughts along with the dialogue just to show you the scary crazy world that goes on in the backstage of a guy's mind.  Unfortunately I've exceeded my potty break reading limit so I'll have to continue this for you later!  :)