Friday, June 27, 2014

FFF - Rolling Stock

It's Friday so get on board with us!
Next stop is Station FFF with Advizor!

Her:  Oh, excuse me - I didn't realize we were so close?

Him:  We are close, but framed with those gorgeous Jimmy Choos those are legs that need no apology.

Her:  (with demure look) Thank you sir for noticing. 

Him:  Oh I notice much with beautiful classy women.

Her:  Am I that.

Him:  Oh and more

Her:  Go on

Him:  I see you peering intently, what do those pretty blue eyes see?

Her:  Oh just my hobby.

Him:  Nothing about you says Sudoku.

Her:  Not that (giggling)

Him:  And so

Her:  If you must I blog a bit

Him:  How interesting, about what?

Her:  I'd say best practices, what are you doing?

Him:   Well, as a matter of fact I have a few flirtations with Blogging as well.

Her:  Oh do tell

Him:  About what

Her:  What it is you blog about?

Him:  I would say best practices as well.

Her:  Best practices of what

Him:  Relationships

Her:  Relationships? What relationships

Him:  Relationships you blog about because you can't talk about them

Her:  Now you have my interest, you must tell me more.

Him:  Be careful to ask for something that might be a burden to you once you know.

Her:  Oh good sir, burden me; I'll decide if it's worth it.

Him:  I write about illicit relationships

Her:  How do you define illicit

Him:  Good question, relationships most people would shun.

Her:  Why would people shun your relationships?

Him:  Because they were found through alternative venues.

Her:  You talk in circles good sir, is this a habit.

Him:  Talking in circles can be good, you never lose track of where you are going.

Her:  So I guess I need to be direct then

Him:  Perhaps but mind you I can be direct in a very indirect way

Her:  OK, what is the venue for the illicit relationship you speak of.

Him:  Ah well then, where most refracted truth is found these days.

Her:  And if I was looking for refracted truth where would I find it.

Him:  Ah you pinned me down, I can only answer directly to that; the internet.

Her:  Now you really have my attention!

Him:  Why, most women stop here.

Her:  Perhaps my best practices delve in this area as well.

Him:  Now you have my attention.  Can I ask why you are on this train.

Her:  Adventure and Enlightenment and perhaps the occasional perk.

Him:  Well that could be why we are on any train, why this train

Her:  Because this train takes me there.

Him:  And where is there?  Or should I say, what is there.

Her:  Others that seek the same as I

Him:  I wonder if we are going there together then?

Her:  Are seeking adventure and enlightenment.

Him:  Perhaps, perhaps not.  Perhaps, I'm going where you are for my own reasons.

Her:  One of my favorite novels says "it doesn't matter where we are going, just that we are going"

Him:  Ah yes, I've read that novel - I loved the soundtrack to the movie.

Her:  Do you like music.

Him:  I do too much perhaps, it seems all that I do in life I link to a song or lyric.

Her:  You know I know someone like that.

Him:  So where are you going.

Her:  A conference, a blogging conference.

Him:  I see, well maybe we are going to the same place.

Her:  So this blog you write about and your love of music; do you intertwine them?

Him:  You know that's a good question.  But it is so cramped in here.  I actually have a cabin, perhaps we could discuss our interests in enlightenment and adventure in detail in a more private setting.

Her:  That sounds delish (as they both get up and start walking down the aisle of the train).
Him:  (walking just behind her with arm gently on her shoulder and leaning to her ear) Do you ride the Acela often?
Her:  Oh yes darling, it's the only way to get to the city.

Him:  Yes it is.  This way my dear (opening door to private cabin).  By the way, my name is Ryan

Her:  Meow!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

FFF - Where are You?

Hey, where is your FFF'ing post?
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Where (the *uck) are you?

Geez these kids today are ridiculous!  Teaching community college English Lit isn't the best job in the world but it is fun being chased by those 20-something guys.  It's not like I'm old but into my 30's I'm usually eye-candy for overweight dads and over-confident lawyers.  Catching this one's attention was fun.

And of course once you exchange "digits" with those 20-somethings they sure know how to turn on the charm via text.  The things these kids text these days?  Yeesh!  My whore-ish friend Joyce tells me the things she does with guys and I say to myself, "I didn't think people did that."  But this kid "sexts" me things I didn't think you could put into words (or emoticons).

Anyway all this was very hypnotic so I was looking forward to having him to myself in private.  Of course these 20-somethings can't do anything on their own.  I had to make dinner reservations, tell him that normal people go out to dinner not just hang out, put the location of the restaurant in his GPS, set up an alarm to remind him when to meet me, and of course get a reservation at a nearby hotel just in case.  He's not exactly the guy I want walking out of my house at 9 am on a Sunday if you catch my drift (what would the HOA say).

So I get him to the restaurant and am enjoying those gorgeous blue eyes but soon I'm sharing him with his entire Instagram following.  Christ he even made me lean into a "selfie" to send to his mom and share on Twitter.  OMG, is there no intimacy with this generation!

Anyway, the whole dinner I can't get 20 straight words from the guy without his phone appendage buzzing.  I'm beginning to think if I get him to the hotel room it will be mid-*uck and he'll have to "Pin" his orgasm and I'll be #sheswallows!

It's a good thing he did have such gorgeous eyes and those awesome abs.  I took him up to the room anyway after he had to gaul to ask the waiter "since you have fish tacos could you make me a Gordita like they have at Taco Bell?"  Hey at this point I had put in the work for this workout!

Once in the room we start doing some of the stuff he has been "sexting" and then he excuses himself and says he needs fresh air.  I turn for a moment and then he's poof!  I guess reality doesn't live up to the Sims with this generation?  I guess I should have just "face-timed" him for the looks and let my Brutus do the heavy lifting!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Music is My Aeroplane

Wow this is my 411th post and I can't believe this is the first time I've used a Red Hot Chili Peppers song for the title!  I love the Chili Peppers.  Without a doubt the best concert I've ever seen was the Foo Fighters opening for them.  Both bands are great in concert!  Btw, worst concert I've ever seen - Aerosmith.  "But Aerosmith is awesome," you say?  Sure they are, but they were drunk off their ass, you could tell.  The Chili Peppers and Foo Fighters bring it every night even if you are in Des Moines!  I also love bass and drums and Flea is the bomb and Will Ferrell plays drums for them!

You know blogs are really supposed to be for and about oneself, personal.  I really have always admired those bloggers who are really just writing for themselves, getting their thoughts out for their own self-actualizing purposes.  I think I started out that way but I ended up truly writing for what I believed was the audience - you'se guys. Perhaps, in my own way, that is in fact me.  I've worked in a service industry all my life and, in fact, tend to live my life to serve and appeal to others.  So, yeah; I do write for myself.  Even if it is usually done to shamelessly grab attention!  :)

That being said today really is about me and the perfect blog post!  Yes, this is one of those bucket-list type posts I've been meaning to write for probably over a year.  See that's the big promise I make and now I give you a key image and a few sound-bits and then I transition back to some theme I hit on earlier and tie it to a song lyric.  Oh well, you can read below.

Well, really this is just some analysis.  See in real life I love numbers, analysis, and assessment - so here goes.  And no this is probably not the perfect blog post but who cares this is just for me, you know.

I've been using music quotes, largely, for post titles for almost four years now.  What are the results? Any correlations?  Any congruency?  Or is it all just random?

Let see, here are the numbers by genres of music I've used for post titles.

Musical (and non-musical) Categories:

Bluegrass               9    Jam Band               7     Techno                  2
Country-politan     5     Jazz                       2      60's (pop/rock)   24
Country               18    Local                      1      60's (psychadelic) 2
Disney/Kidz Bop  15    Chick-Music           2      60's (art rock)        2
Elvis                      2    Modern Pop          12     70's (funk)             5
Sing/Songwriter  17    Punk/New Wave     10     70's (pop)            12
Hair Metal             9    Rap                         7     70's (power rock) 11
Holidays                7    Stadium Rock       13     80's (alternative)  29

the 80's (pop)                   29         FFF                                          38
the 90's (XM Lithium)     15         Movie Quotes                            5
the 90's (pop)                     5         Non-Music                               11
Soundtrack/Show-Tune     7         Repeats                                    52
Spiritual                              1        TMI                                          10

Well let's see the first assessment outcome I see is that at 52 post or 12.5% Ryan's propensity for laziness is certainly apparent here!  And thanks to Ad, Three Spelling Mistakes, and Panser for hosting FFF which has been so much fun over the years!

As for musical choices... No surprises my college years were spent in the late 80's/early 90's and that is reflected in my musical tastes.  In fact, as I've mentioned on the blog, my satellite radio mostly toggles back and forth between XM First Wave (alt 80's) and Lithium (alt 90's).  As a result about 40% of my blog post titles come from songs of the 80's and 90's.  Of course, I'm usually in the car with my girls and when they are there they dominate as little girls do with their daddies.  And thus the prevalence of kid music. All too often a lyric by Cher Lloyd or some other Disney channel cutie catches my attention as I'm mentally writing a post.  As a result Disney/Kid related music represents 5th largest music category and around 1% of my titles.  Of course breaking that further down a lot of those Disney-song posts were food and travel posts to Disney so there is the congruency.  But yet and still one of my most reflective posts was my 100th where I did use lyrics from a Jessie J song (one of those cuties) so "one never knows, do one?"  Except those are lyrics from a Fats Waller song I once used to describe the parallels between my wife and the real Shannon from my high school days.

And yet I pride myself on being eclectic so I am happy that I have a lot of balance with post titles ranging from Country and Bluegrass to Punk and Rap.

Not surprisingly here are my top bands by usage:

REM                                          6     * if I had to name one fav band it would be them
the Beatles                                 5     * tax day's an annual fav of mine and they have the best tax song
Jimmy Buffet                             5     *  two were part of a part I and II post
Talking Heads                           4     *  that just happened, I really can't stand them

the Damned                               5     *  all part of one series of posts
Allison Krauss
 & Union Station (AKUS)         4     * all part of one story; the song really is the story of me

In retrospect many posts I think are good, many are meaningful to me, but here are the songs that felt the most connected to the story I was telling.  At the time these songs seemed to fit the post so well that they haunted me to some degree. Often I would fall in love with the song a bi and even if I had heard the song many times it became new to me and I couldn't get enough of it as if I was addicted, as if they were a fine Northern Coast Pinot.  These songs now always bring a gleam to my eyes and a smile when I hear them on the radio as I remember the post and/or the times I was living.

It's funny now that often when I hear a song I have to catch myself before I lean over to Shannon or Sandee and say "I used that song on the blog once."

Anyway, here are those songs and those posts:

AKUS - You're the Lucky One           *   the story of Ryan in fairy-tale fashion.
Jimmy Buffet - One Particular Habor   *   a shamelessly stolen Gen-X parable
the Damned - Alone Again Or             *  the one that got away, or did she?
Christopher Cross - When You Get Caught        *  this might be my best

Elton John - Where to Now St. Peter           *  sadness = reality, reality beauty, is sadness then beauty?
Love and Rockets - It's All in My Mind     *  we all have a story of the one that went poof
Manfred Man - Fox on the Run                 *  Just LOVE this song!
REM - Don't Go Back to Rockville         *  Actually Driver 8 is my favorite REM song
Three Dog Night - Shambala                  *  good deeds done with someone you've done bad deeds with
Tony Rice - Carolina Star                         *  a stab at fiction, though the background is stolen; so me
Steeley Dan - Deacon Blues                       *  I worked so dang hard on this and nobody commented!

And the song I've used third most behind Alone Again Or and You're the Lucky One - well that would be good old Cookie Monster's version of "C is for Cookie!"  :)

I suppose looking back it's odd that I have not used the Stone Temple Pilots, Heart, or the Clash.  STP's "Interstate Love Song" is my favorite song of the 90's so it kind of makes it my song of my generation.  It's certainly odd that I have not used Heart as they are one of my all time favs.  I used to listen to "Crazy on You" before big games to get pumped up back in the day.  Or maybe it's that I used to like to look at Nancy Wilson and then got all pumped up!  And then I just love the Clash.  I love percussion and they (including Big Audio Dynamite) always had great songs that got you feeling good.

I have also used (not exhaustive) the following bands:  Abba (2), AC/DC, Ace of Base, Adele, Bryan Adams, America, Adam Ant, the Baha Men, Baltimora, Bananarama, the Bangles, the Beach Boys, the Beastie Boys (2), Berlin, the Black Crows, the Bloodhound Gang, Blondie, the Beatles, Bon Jovi, David Bowie, Garth Brooks, Lindsey Buckingham, Jimmy Buffet, June Carter, Greyson Chance, Ray Charles, Chicago, Eric Clapton, Kelly Clarkson, Paula Cole, Earl Thomas Conley, Harry Connick, Counting Crows, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Cornerstone, Elvis Costello, Christopher Cross, the Cult, Culture Club, the Cure (2), the Damned, Def Leppard, Depeche Mode, Neil Diamond, Dido, Dire Straights, the Doors (2), Duran Duran, Bob Dylan, Echo and the Bunnymen, ELO, ELP, Fatboy Slim, the Foo Fighters, the Four Freshmen, Peter Gabriel, Genesis, the Gin Blossoms, the Gleaming Spires, Gary Glitter, the Grateful Dead, the Guess Who, Guns 'N Roses (2), Arlo Guthrie, Haircut 100, Heaven 17, Hole, the Hoodoo Gurus, the Human League, Donnie Iris, Inxs (2), Iron Maiden, Jane's Addiction, Jessie J, Joe Jackson, Elton John, Billy Joel (2), Journey (2), the Killers, Allison Krauss & Union Station, the La's, Led Zepplin, the Left Banke, Cher Lloyd (2), Gordon Lightfoot (2) Love and Rockets, Bruno Mars, Martina McBride, Don McLean (2), Meatloaf, George Michael, Missing Persons, Modern English, the Monkees, the Moody Blues (2), the Motels, Van Morrison, Nena, Ricky Nelson, Night Ranger, Nirvana, Oingo Boingo, One Republic, Buck Owens, Ozzy, the Partridge Family, Pearl Jam (2), Phish, Pink, the Pixies, Charley Pride, Queen (2), REM, REO Speedwagon (2), Eddie Rabbit (2), Cliff Richards, Johnny Rivers, the Rolling Stones, Roxy Music, Sawyer Brown (2), Seal, the Sex Pistols, Sir Mix-a-lot, the Sparks, the Specials, George Straight, R. Dean Stanton, the Stone Roses, the Smithereens, the Smiths, the Split Enz, Steeley Dan, Styx, the Supremes, Suzy and Banshees, the Talking Heads, James Taylor, Three Dog Night, Robin Thicke, TLC, T'Pau, Tripping Daisies, the Tubes, Tommy Tune, the Turtles, Twisted Sister, U2, Ugly Kid Joe, Van Halen (2), John Waite (3), the Waitresses, Fats Waller, the White Stripes, Hank Williams, Roger Williams, Richie Valens

Guilty feeling for using Cher Lloyd, Haircut 100, Fun Boy Three/Bananarama and OMG Abba on two occasions?  Hey using Abba on two occasions reminds me of that famous quote "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...... uh, er, ummmm; you can't get fooled!"  :)

Nah, no embarrassment here!  I'm mean I'm just the fry guy at the Chevy Chase McDonalds after all! And those two Abba post were pretty darn good!  Here is the other one!  Hey, at least I never used Barbara Streisand although sometimes we do boot camp to that Duck Sauce song.

And here is my favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers song:

Monday, June 9, 2014

Ryan's Repeats - Time Can't Afford No Time

I had not really intended on continuing my repeat posts beyond last December.  But they've been such an easy way to get a quick and easy post out that I've maintained them through the year thus far.  In fact one of my first posts of the year was a re-peat that sort of turned out as a Mission Statement as well an aspirational post for me. The bottom line is they are really a fun way for me to reflect on past posts I've enjoyed and a way to add some new thoughts on that particular subject.  As I've said before, when you've been posting for some time, the total posts you have on your blog can become daunting for a new reader and a barrier to starting to follow.  For me these are that easy way to just hop on board for someone who has yet to ride the von-Ryan Express!  Sorry, that was bad!

Now that being said, as I began to further wind down the blog after this past April I felt surely I couldn't continue to do reposts.  For instance this June I am only planning 4 posts; in July only 3.  But always something happens to me and I think, "I wrote about that once" and then sure enough that post happened a year ago and I decide I want to revisit the topic so to speak.  And that is what I'm doing today.

I love getting my hair cut.  However I'm someone who actually has a pretty high personal body space. I'm not a touchy-huggy person to just anyone.  But if I can build trust and confidence in someone I do enjoy personal interaction (of course you know that, you've been reading my blog).  So for me having someone (meaning cute woman) that I can build a long term rapport and confidence in is very important.  And that's because I love getting my hair cut. Well really I love the relaxation of getting my hair cut.  I love taking 20 minutes out of my week to put myself in the hands of someone (cute female) and let them take control.  I love a beautiful woman running her hands through my hair and taking care of me.  I love.....; oh man I better stop, this is getting too hot for me.

Anyway the other week I was getting my hair cut with Shyahyn (that's not really her name I just like making up faux-names) and I noticed the couple to my right.  The man was getting his hair cut.  His wife was watching, or rather "supervising."  They were a very distinguished couple in their late 70's.  He had a look of being a retired executive.  We have a lot of those in my town; high powered DC execs who have decided to move out to the eclectic artsy country-side to spend those golden years.

Anyway the man was sitting very calmly in his chair as his wife and the stylist debated and fussed over his hair.  Apparently the couple were going to a wedding the next weekend and Harry (let's just call the gentleman Harry for now) needed just the right coiffure for the event.  Or let's be real, the wife needed Harry's hair to look just right so he would be an appropriate accessory for her dress and that new Vera Wang bag she bought in Tyson's last Saturday!  Harry, for his part, just sat quietly and obediently; it's his hair but nobody needs his opinion just now.  :)

Yes, Harry is very compliant and seems to be enjoying all the fuss.

I was enjoying it because as Shyahyn was nimbly running her fingers through my hair I was humored by the relaxed yet purposeful discussion next to me.  I then recalled the post I wrote just a year ago and decided this could be my repeat post for June.  I like that - post already written less work for Ryan.

But then a deeper thought hit me.  It hit my core and something I've always tried to get out on this blog. That is the fact that I like to march to the beat of a different drummer.  As we read these blogs we come across so many "key" terms:  MILF, FWB, yada, yada.  In fact whole blogs are dedicated to people who are "doms" or "subs."  That always struck me as odd for some reason.  I certainly could never see myself as a sub, I'm just too dang stubborn, obstinate, and contrary to just do whatever someone said to me even if they have a leather mask and whip!  And yet I'm inherently a polite person so I could never be a "dom."  You'll never hear me say the words, "you are my love slave, suck my balls *itch!"  I just couldn't do it.  Sorry all you "subs" out there.

But what I realized as I watched Harry get fused over is that, this is how it's supposed to be.  Let's just assume Harry was some high ranking VP at some defense contractor around the Beltway or perhaps a hedge fund manager.  He probably was a "dom" every day at his fast paced stressful work environment for decades.  Perhaps he even was an officer for Rotary or big at the Country Club.  His wife, I'm thinking Zelda for some reason, maybe had a career of her own or maybe stayed at home and took care of Harry.  Maybe she set the rules of the house.  Maybe she was the dom at home.  Who knows?

My point is that labels are just that, labels.  I'll never be a "dom" or a "sub" because I question too much and will never be ordered around by someone if it ain't what I want to do.  But if it's something I enjoy and, oh btw, it's been a tough week and I've had to make too many decisions already, then I am only so happy to go with the flow.

So as Shyahyn flipped through my hair and said, "do you want to leave it a little longer this time?"  I get it, she means "Ryan, I'm a cute girl and I know what women like and you look waaay cuter with your hair grown out just a bit."  This is the time to be submissive and let her do with me as she wishes.  It will be way more relaxing and I'll come out looking better in the end.  And guys if you are still in the "dom" role read this article, women really are looking at our hair and apparently we usually disappoint them so give in and let them have their way, you'll be happier for it.

As for me I do look better when I let Shyahyn have her way with me.  And I bet Harry got layed last night with that new do that made Zelda so happy!

Anyway, here is my last-year's post about the salon and some differences I've observed between men and women.  Get the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" schtick?  No?  Well, now you do!  :)

Ryan's Repeat
from June 24th, 2013......

Or Men are from Barbasol and Women are from Vidal Sasson

Ryan's Thoughts from a Salon Chair on a Few Differences between Men and Women

So I was at the salon getting my hair cut on Saturday afternoon.  You might be surprised that I am so concerned with my hair but I'll say that I was perfectly happy going to Floyd the Town Barber for several years until he decided to take his talents a little closer to the city.  So I was left with trying out the local salon in town which is still walking distance from my office.  There I met Shyahyn, the girl who has been cutting my hair for the past three years.  Her name is not really Shyahyn but I enjoy coming up with nouveau spellings of trendy names.  The salon is the "in" place for ladies to get styled in town.  The owner is very good which is why they go.  Shyahyn is pretty good as well but she has a nice smile and great tits which is why I go (see there is the first difference).

But my thoughts on today's post were spawned from a conversation I overheard Saturday between the owner and two young ladies, one of whom was getting her hair styled.  As I was driving home last night I thought about the experience and decided that this interaction was an excellent opportunity to produce a Ryan-esque turgid reflection on the difference between men and women!  :)

And I want to illustrate using faux dialogue:

Act I:  So How Would You Like Your Hair

Scene 1 - The Girls

Salon Owner - So honey what are we doing with this gorgeous hair today?

Girl 1 - You know I've really been thinking about going short, I love that Michelle Williams look.  Take a look at this, can you do this with my hair (showing Harper's Bizarre Magazine photo of several celebs).  Then again I really liked Gwynn Stefani's up bunn I saw on TMZ the other night.

Salon Owner - Do you think your fiancee will like the shorter look.

Girl 1 - Well you know he always says he likes my hair long and just keep it simple but I want to do something different and see how he likes it!  I'm so not sure.

Salon Owner - Oh honey he'll like you in anything!

Girl 2 - Yeah, she's right Beau loves you no matter what! (secretly knowing Beau won't like it because he told her he hated short hair while she was giving him a BJ three years ago - but she ain't volunteering that info).

Girl 1 - Well I want to look specatacular for the wedding announcement tea next Sunday so let's go with the Michelle look.

*  1.5 hours later the girls leave Girl 1 with a new hair style and mani-pedicure and Girl 2 with a list of 28 questions to ask the catering and florist about the upcoming wedding announcement tea.

Scene 2 - Dudes (Ryan)

Shyahyn - So what are we doing today, trimming it up?

Ryan - Yeah just the usual, it's getting hot.  If you have any thoughts go for it, you're the expert.

*  Thinking to himself - I really just want to get my hair shorter, relax in peace and quiet for the next 20 minutes, enjoy those long soft fingers running through my hair, and look at those nice beautiful tits (note Shyahyn usually wears a low cut blouse).  I wonder if that expert comment made any points?  Do you think I could get away with screwing my stylist?

Shyahyn - How does your wife like your hair?

Ryan - Urr, uhh, hmm, uhhh, short!  I think!?  I guess I'm not really sure, she never tells me so I guess she likes however I have it.  She mentioned something about Keanu Reeves once but I'm not sure; I guess I wasn't listening.

*  20 minutes later Ryan is done, pays for the cut, gives Shyahyn a $5 tip and goes.

Act II - Salon Dialogue, Guess Who's Coming for Dinner?

Scene 1 - The Girls

Girl 2 - I am not sure if I'm happy with this mascara I got yesterday at Ulta.  It's just not the right consistency, it's clumpy and it smudges!  I prefer the stuff I got from Sephora last time.

Girl 1 - OK, that's about you but today is about me!  We have to finish talking about my tea next month for all the bridesmaids.

*  Author's Note:  the real Girl 1 actually said that ("this is about me") in response to something her friend was saying, I kid you NOT!

Girl 2 - Hey I saw Giada did this lingonberry cous cous on endive that looked really cute.

Girl 1 - Ew, I'm not putting a piece of lettuce that looks like a purple penis into my mouth.

Girl 2 - OK so what do you want.

Girl 1 - I want some of those little cucumber sandwiches with vanilla infused honey sour cream spread and maybe some mini herbed asparagus puffs.

Girl 2 - Girl, that sounds so good.  But what about the invitations, I saw you invited Celine - you know she will probably show up with her bff Courtney.  That girl is trouble.

Girl 1 - Yeah at Hannah's engagement party she and Whitney's boyfriend went to the back and I just know she gave him a blow job - that slut!  And she ate half the chocolate dipped strawberries.  She kept eating the white chocolate one's and pretended she was licking some guys balls.

Girl 1/Girl 2 (in tandem) - Ewww.......

Girl 2 - But you have to invite Celine she is one of your maids-of-honor.

Girl 1 - OK she can come but I want you to make sure if Courtney comes over you occupy her, I don't want to be embarrassed.  Maybe you can get that weird guy Ryan from downstairs to come over.  I bet he wouldn't mind taking Courtney off our hands.  He's like Mickey - he'll eat anything.

Girl 2 - Girl, that Ryan would probably let Muffy (girl 1's shitza-poo) lick his balls.

Girl 1 - Ew, don't talk about Muffy that way!

Scene 2 - Dudes

Dude 1 - Dude we should get our posse together for game 7 tomorrow night.

Dude 2 - Yeah, let's get the dudes upstairs and those guys across the street.  Should we invite Ryan over?

Dude 1 - No that pussy will probably bring his girlfriend.  She won't let him take his dick anywhere without her.

Dude 2 - But he's our bro we shouldn't let a little thing like a girlfriend come between us?

Dude 1 - *uck him, that's his problem.  The last time his girlfriend was over she bitched the whole time about how gross the bathroom smelled and then she started throwing shit out of the 'fridge because she said it was out of date.  *uck that, I want to enjoy myself!

Dude 2 - OK, should we see if Carlton wants to come over?

Dude 1 - Dude, he's weird!

Dude 2 - Yeah but he works at the liquor store and he always bring over Jager!

Dude 1 - Cool, bring him over!  Make sure he brings the Jager.  Is he still dating that chick with the big tits?  She can come if she brings her friends.

Dude 2 - OK, I'll ask him.  What do you want to do for food.  I like sushi.

Dude 1 - Dude you're weird but if you insist on sucking down fish bait it's your life; I'm going for a bucket 'o KFC!

Dude 2 - OK, let's do it.

Hey, I should probably apologize for using those lyrics in the title.  If I had ever gotten caught listening to this band in high school I'd of probably got my ass beat.  But I've grown up, matured, and broadened my horizons.  And anyway is anybody who is reading this blog really looking for good taste?

But the band is called Hair Cut 100 a Brit band formed in 1980 that had two minor hits "Love Plus One" and "Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl)," which include the lyrics above.  It's a funny little song about putting on your favorite shirt and meeting and "hooking up" with a girl at your favorite club.

It posses an interesting question:  can time afford time?  I guess since time does not have any form of currency it really can't afford anything.  But I think this is a spiritual question.  Since any point of time only exists in the moment of said time it can therefore not afford to spend any time on anything since as soon as it's finished being time it's gone and of course can't afford anything.  So I guess they are right!  Time can't afford no time!