Thursday, June 19, 2014

FFF - Where are You?

Hey, where is your FFF'ing post?
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Where (the *uck) are you?

Geez these kids today are ridiculous!  Teaching community college English Lit isn't the best job in the world but it is fun being chased by those 20-something guys.  It's not like I'm old but into my 30's I'm usually eye-candy for overweight dads and over-confident lawyers.  Catching this one's attention was fun.

And of course once you exchange "digits" with those 20-somethings they sure know how to turn on the charm via text.  The things these kids text these days?  Yeesh!  My whore-ish friend Joyce tells me the things she does with guys and I say to myself, "I didn't think people did that."  But this kid "sexts" me things I didn't think you could put into words (or emoticons).

Anyway all this was very hypnotic so I was looking forward to having him to myself in private.  Of course these 20-somethings can't do anything on their own.  I had to make dinner reservations, tell him that normal people go out to dinner not just hang out, put the location of the restaurant in his GPS, set up an alarm to remind him when to meet me, and of course get a reservation at a nearby hotel just in case.  He's not exactly the guy I want walking out of my house at 9 am on a Sunday if you catch my drift (what would the HOA say).

So I get him to the restaurant and am enjoying those gorgeous blue eyes but soon I'm sharing him with his entire Instagram following.  Christ he even made me lean into a "selfie" to send to his mom and share on Twitter.  OMG, is there no intimacy with this generation!

Anyway, the whole dinner I can't get 20 straight words from the guy without his phone appendage buzzing.  I'm beginning to think if I get him to the hotel room it will be mid-*uck and he'll have to "Pin" his orgasm and I'll be #sheswallows!

It's a good thing he did have such gorgeous eyes and those awesome abs.  I took him up to the room anyway after he had to gaul to ask the waiter "since you have fish tacos could you make me a Gordita like they have at Taco Bell?"  Hey at this point I had put in the work for this workout!

Once in the room we start doing some of the stuff he has been "sexting" and then he excuses himself and says he needs fresh air.  I turn for a moment and then he's poof!  I guess reality doesn't live up to the Sims with this generation?  I guess I should have just "face-timed" him for the looks and let my Brutus do the heavy lifting!


Advizor54 said...

Ah yes, the disparity between the person we build and the person we are. "Pounding all night" can seem a lot like 15 minutes if you haven't eaten your Wheaties.

Thanks for adding your name to the list, and have a great weekend!!

Sillyone said...

I have a feeling that this is the reality more often than not. Great Story!

cammies on the floor said...

So true of the generation, and it cracked me up.