Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Oh, It's a Yum-Yummy World Made for Sweathearts

I've been doing this blog for six years now (more to come later on that) and I can honestly tell you the thing I look most forward to every year is the annual cookie post Jz puts together.  I love food and I love cool people and this is a great group of people to have a big old group sex blog/baking party with.  Ahh, if only we could get together in person and grease up each other, I mean grease pans together and bake cookies!

You know I love to use lyrics for my post titles.  For four cookie posts I used lyrics to the Cookie Song from Sesame street, because I get most of my intellect from children's TV shows!  I'm proud to say I got 4 years worth of lyric titles off a song with 26 words - that takes a particularly creative lack of creativity I think!  :)

Here are my past Cookie Project Posts:

Year 1
Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5

This year I'm combining two things I love, cake and the lovely Shenandoah Valley.  Just in case you thought this was a cookie post you were right, I rarely follow directions on this project and did not again this year; thus a cake recipe.  But I think it makes for a lovely holiday addition for dessert or as a breakfast side or just something to have around to munch throughout the day.

Btw, the Shenandoah Valley is very near and dear to my heart - here is my post about the lovely Shenandoah Valley from some time ago!

So again, sorry for not following directions and not posting a cookie recipe and sorry for making you have a Blue-(berry) Christmas!

Shenandoah Valley Blueberry Cake

Note:  this recipe actually comes from Charlottsville, VA which strangely is not in the Shenandoah Valley, rather just on the other side of Afton Mountain (of the Blue Ridge Mountains) from the Shenandoah Valley.  In fact it's really in a perpendicular valley that forms from the James River running East towards Richmond and onto the Chesapeake Bay.  But who reads this for geography!?


*     1.67 Cups, all-purpose flour
*     1.5 tsp, baking powder
*     0.25 tsp, salt
*     0.33 Cups, butter softened
*     0.75 Cups, sugar
*     2 Tbs, sugar
*     1 egg
*     0.33 Cup, milk
*     1 Cup, fresh blueberries


*     Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees
*     Generously grease a 9" square or round baking pan; any leftover grease you can use on your partner, this recipe goes great with sex!
*     Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in small bowl and stir with a fork to mix well
*     Combine butter and 0.75 Cups of sugar in medium bowl and whip w/mixer on high until well mixed. Kind of like giving your partner a light hearted tap to the rear; friendly but not mean spirited!
*     Add egg to sugar and butter mixture and beat well for 2 minutes; stopping occasionally to scrape bowl.  Continue until mixture is smooth and light, kind of like that sweaty glean you get to your body mid-sex!
*     Stir half of flour and milk into sugar/butter mixture, keeping batter smooth and well combined
*     Add remaining flour and milk, mixing gently until well combined.
*     Wash and strain blueberries; you want them clean (no dirt) but don't let them squirt their juice yet!
*     Add blueberries into batter mixture and stir gently until combined (do not over-stir); again, no squirting
*     Scrape batter into greased pan.  Any leftover batter can be applied to yourself or your partner and delicately licked off!
*     Bake for 30 minutes or until cake is golden on top and springs back when touched gently, kind of like the feel you get when you are behind!  :)

And while you are baking listen to this great Christmas classic by Dean and Frank!

Please take a look at our other happy bakers this year!


5:42 AM (4 hours ago)
to bcc: me
Here it is!
The complete list of 2016 cookie exchange participants.

Tomorrow will be fun  :-)
I can't wait to see what we all come up with this year.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

It's the End of the World as We Know It

And I feel fine........

Well according to Oxford we started the year 

And now after a year of Brexit, ISIS, the Olympics, creepy clown sightings, and now even creepier elections we get to the end of another year and another word of the year.

Oxford, in their infinite wisdom, has given us "post-truth" as our word for 2016, just nosing out "Brexiteer" and "alt-right."  At first glance it seems like an odd word and perhaps a contradiction.  And then I remember the type of blog I write and imagine that a lot of us infidelity bloggers and Ashley Madison connoisseurs have in fact lived in a "post truth"world or imagined a tough "post truth" discussion if certain accounts or activities were to be revealed to certain people in our lives.  So I guess I have to say I get it.

But because I'm all about specifics, specifically "post truth" is a term describing "a political culture in which debate is framed largely by appeals to emotion disconnected from the details of policy, and by the repeated assertion of talking points to which factual rebuttals are ignored."  Or if you watch MSNBC, a bunch of gunk Russian hackers are posting on Drudge, Breitbart, and Fox!

Btw, perhaps now would be a good time to mention that people are saying that I, Ryan Beaumont, am the greatest Ashley Madison blogger of all time and perhaps the most amazing lover the world has ever seen.  I'm not saying it but people are and perhaps they are right, I don't know; I'll leave it to you to find out.  I would put a laughing out loud emoji next but that's so last year!

So I guess my first task is to eat a little crow.  I did imply in my last post that Hillary had it locked up.  And now we know she didn't.  The thing is that as I watched Dave Chapelle and Chris Rock do their post mortem on naive liberals I realized I should have known.  I've lived in Trump world for much of my life and it really isn't so odd to understand what happened.  Maybe I'm a hypocrite, heck I've written about that "locker room" talk before, though with a little humility and questioning my morals and self deprecation.  But if people have looked past my indiscretions I guess they can look past those of someone who says he is going to make it all better.

But in our "post truth" world and with a big old case of cognitive dissonance we have elected a reality star.  And yet are all those angry white people in the Midwest to blame, you know those out of work steel workers as well as textile workers in the Carolinas?  Well that is what all us elite liberals allowed ourselves to believe.  And so we didn't give anyone anything to believe in.  Yet the truth is many of those Trump'sters are not racists, they are not stupid, they are not even down and out of work.  They are just tired of the sense of entitlement and smugness from the Clinton clan and frankly people like me.  The Clinton's were out maneuvered in 2008 but we just didn't put forth a fight in 2016 because we were self assured.  Sure, Bernie was interesting, but he was just a "post truth" faux foil for the inevitability of Clinton.

Oh well, lessons learned.  But don't all us Ash Mad'ers know that.  In the post truth world of Ashley Madison you find the most truth of all.  Passion and adventure sell but that first meet and greet always reveals the truth and so if you don't give a vision of something to embrace and believe in you may as well never send that first priority message.

If you do move past post truth to the real truth on Ash Mad, you may find someone you can spend some truthful time in that created alternative reality bubble in your hotel room, vineyard, or place by the river.  Sandee has been a real dear the last few weeks.  Yes, she is a real Trump'ster Tea Party chick and yes she has been poking some good natured fun at your's truly.  But that very light hearted play makes my real dissonance fade as things can't be so bad if someone as wonderful as Sandee is happy with the outcome!

And as Colbert said on election night "you cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time....the devil can't stand mockery!"  

So maybe it's the end of the world as we know it, but let's try to be Shiny Happy People!

Cory Booker 2020!!!!