Ryan's Repeats - And I Will Be Alone Again Tonight My Dear

I really enjoy using lyrics for my blog post titles.  It helps me revisit some old song favorites, keep up on current song titles, and occasionally turn up something I had not heard before.  Sometimes in the pursuit of finding song lyrics to match the events I write about I get caught up and really affected by a certain song.  I believe this particular song grasped me more deeply than any other I have used.  I hear this song occasionally on XM Radio - First Wave and I love it.  I decided it fit the 5 part story I wanted to tell about Labor Day weekend, 2011; a rather lost weekend.  As I started writing I did my obligatory wiki-search on facts about the song.  I was taken by the concept of the song, an ode to waiting for a woman.  I also enjoyed reading about the influences on the song.  It seemed that the deeper I dug the more fascinating the song became.  I also came across some interesting covers of the song.  The original song has somewhat of a spooky, dream-like feel.  The version by the Damned is very histrionic and grandiose.  I also came across a Tejano version which I think I ended up liking the best.  I don't know, I guess in the end this felt like I was writing for Rolling Stone or something.  And of course this was the culmination of an interesting albeit frustrating weekend.

Looking back this should have been the end of my Sandee story.  But I am glad it was only the beginning.


Ryan's Repeats


from March 5th, 2012
Or Day Four

My last 5 Sandee post lyric titles, including today, have come from one song I hear sometimes on XM radio. I have written often about listening to Richard Blade on XM Radio's First Wave. I love his shows. He often plays a song by the Damned called "Alone Again Or." It's actually a cover; the song was originally recorded by a group called Love in 1967. The writer was inspired by a memory of waiting for a lady and a melody in Prokofiev's Lieutenant Kije Suite. I'm not sure if I'm hearing it but that is what wiki says and I want to sound smart so I'll go with it! Btw, Prokofiev also wrote music for Peter and the Wolf and the ballet to Romeo and Juliet. But back to "Alone Again Or," I love the histrionic feel, the elegant lyrics, and the mariachi band horns. The original recording by Love is wonderful but the Damned just seem to add something extra and their video is like a Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western collided with the Road Warrior (please take a look below). Calexico does a pretty awesome version as well!

As an aside Love often performed at the famous Whiskey Au Go Go on the LA Strip in the 60's. Love and Vanilla Fudge were two of the bands that a certain aspiring artist listened to as he was forming his own group that would later become the house band at the Whiskey. That group went by the name the Doors.

OK so that's my Rolling Stone Op/Ed piece for the day. So again, all my lyric titles this week have come from that song as I waited for Sandee all weekend!

As I woke up on Monday I knew it was my last chance for the weekend; forth and long. But I still had hope, I was going to go wherever I needed to make it easy on Sandee.

I texted her around 9:30 am and she said she could meet around 11 am, "grumpy" was still at the hospital. I texted her again as I got ready to leave and she responded "can we push back to noon? Running a bit behind. Sorry!"

I decided that I would go ahead and drive down to the coffee shop regardless. Something told me that if I kept texting this would get pushed back and pushed back. I hoped that if I was really there that she would commit to meeting me.

So I got to the shop about 5 minutes early and took up a position on a bench across from the cafe and began to read (psst, I don't really read but I thought it would be a good first image for Sandee to see). Btw, this little area is wonderful, a tree lined pedestrian mall with boutique shops et al.

Noon came and went. At 12:15 I texted her and let her know I was there. A few minutes later she texted back "grumpy just got home, trying to get away - give me 15 mins."

So I kept reading. About 12:45 I texted her again politely "how's it going?"

She replied "grumpy invited friends over for lunch, got to get something ready, how late can you stay?"

I told her she had me all day if needed. Perhaps that was too nice but it was Hail Mary time now.

"Give me to 2 pm and I'll be over," she said.

So I walked around town, read a bit more, looked at some shops, changed cell phone screen 6 times, etc, etc.

At 2:15 pm I texted her "are you able to come out today?"

About 15 minutes later she replied "I'm so sorry, grumpy is drunk now and won't let me leave; he yelled at me in front of his friends and called me a child. I told him I was leaving and he locked me in the bathroom. I don't know what to say. I need time to think about all of this. Do you hate me?"

Hmmm, do you really want an answer to that question? Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

As I started to drive home I was PISSED! And just in case you have not been able to tell from my blog I am fairly even tempered. Which is great in life as I live with someone who is prone to throwing blunt objects when angered! But I held off on any retribution for now. By the time I got home I had calmed down. I decided to wait on a response to Sandee for now.

The next morning I typed out this:

Hey Sandee,

So I have to say yes after two hours I was a bit aggravated. :( So there is the extent of my temper! Many people would say I'm very even tempered, others would say gullible - not sure what fits here.

But I'm also one to look on the bright side and now I know every inch of your fair city!

My main concern is you! Are you OK? I really hope I didn't cause friction at home for you. Please tell me about it, I can be sympathetic ears/eyes for you.

Regardless of what happens I would like to meet you. It doesn't have to go anywhere but I would like to reconcile the reality of Sandee with the images I see in your e-mails :) I bet the reality of you is even better than what I have read!

Take Care,

R

I felt bad when Sandee responded later in the day with this:

"Dear Ryan~

It breaks my heart to hear you say you might have been gullible today. I have hurt you, and I don't know what to do."

She went on the talk about how mean her husband was, how he treated her like a child, how all the other guys on AM were weird (and I was the only one she clicked with), etc. She said she felt men had more freedom and wished she could leave on a moments notice to meet a "handsome stranger (you)!"

So we were still at square one; e-mailing a very intriguing person that was probably trouble but who just seemed like they would be worth it if I continued to endeavor. Or so my gut told me.

Where is pragmatism when I need it! And Kat here is your que to say "I told you so!"

But then again, do you really think I would spend so much time on talking about a complete washout?

Oh well, the Silver Lining to this tale is that the fam got back in town around dinner and I had "my girls" back which made me happy, I did miss them very much!