Saturday, November 16, 2013

She'll Give Every Penny's Worth but it Will Cost You a Doller First

Or is it the Other Way?

One of my favorite things to do on this blog is give my commentary and analysis regarding big world-wide stories.  However, I've been quite busy of late so I've not commented on such events in several months but it is not because I've not been watching.  And watch I did yesterday as a truly riveting story, encapsulating all that interests me including sports, geo-politics, and well something else I'll mention later that's even more important to me, flashed across Yahoo News!

That story is one just out of Brazil and really has my attention right now.  For years Brazil was mostly know for sugar production, movies about getting lost in the Amazon and eaten by pointy toothed fish, and thongs (which is not a bad thing)!  But Brazil is now an up and coming nation currently preparing for the 2014 World Cup (of soccer for us dumb Yankees) and the 2016 Olympics.  Brazil is one of the fastest emerging markets rich in mineral resources, water, and green fuels.  It is truly primed to become a world leader!

But to be a world leader you must have integrity and you must be able to build upon your strengths and basic core foundations of your culture.  The public must be able to trust the decision making integrity of your event judging professionals. And for that I am shocked and concerned over what I am hearing about the 2013 Brazilian Ms. Bum Bum Pagent!  Yeah that other thing that is important to me I mentioned in the 1st paragraph other than sports and politics?  That's right, butts!

the winning cheeks!
Ms. Dai Macedo, a 25 year old model with a 42 inch bum bum, is this year's winner of the Brazilian Ms Bum Bum competition.  Ms. Macedo said of the award "It's a lot of work and devotion...I deigned myself a lot of things.  No nightclubs.  No sweets.  I went to the gym Saturdays and Sunday."  And I'd say considering the results of her devotion, it paid off in a BIG (and soft round) way!

But there is controversy!  Apparently social media in Brazil is buzzing over allegations of impropriety in the form of pay-outs to judges for good scores.  It has been alleged that the various contestants may have paid upwards of $35,000 to gain the favor of the Ms. Bum Bum judges.

You know what hold the presses for just a second, before I say anything further how does a guy get a job where chicks are willing to pay him $35,000 to look favorably at their butts!  That's sick!  Heck, I go to the gym every day and look at women's butts for free!  I don't consider it a favor on my part, just instinct!

Dang, 2nd place counts in asses!
Apparently in Brazil Ms. Bum Bum is a serious thing with the winner gaining instant celebrity and valuable endorsements.  One dejected losing contestant alleged this "it is sad because the result isn't deserved and her bottom isn't the most beautiful, which in a serious competition would be more right!"

Anyway my concern here is that the world is counting on Brazil to lead our planet in bio-fuels, saving the rainforest for it's vast wealth of flora and fauna, and be a successful host to two the biggest sporting events in the world.  If Brazil can't get a butt judging contest right, and OMG that surely is supposed to be their specialty, then what CAN they get right!  I mean what's it gonna' be like when they try to pull off Modern Pentathlon.  Then again, maybe if we pay the right Brazilian dude off we could turn Greco-Roman wrestling into a co-ed beach sport in thongs!  Now I really would pay to see that especially if Ms. Bum Bum was contesting that event!  And oh brotha' do I want to see that Brazilian beach volleyball team on the hot sands of Rio!

But to my dear 2nd place contestant(s) I have to say don't judge a butt by it's (almost) covered thong; beauty comes from inside.  Just as that cure for cancer may come from one petal on a flower hidden in the darkest parts of the Amazon so is the beauty of all those Bum Bum contestants hidden in their desire to show the world how big and excellent an ass can be.  So take pride in the ascent toward excellence for it's the thrill of competition that makes us greater and takes us higher and let's be frank molds and shapes that ass into something truly worth holding onto regardless of our rank.   But mostly I'd like to say this: "darlin' could you turn to the right just a smidge and bend over a little I really want to get a good look at those dimples!" :)

But speaking of right, this is RIGHT ON!


Max said...

Hahahaha.... :-) And this is why you're a must-read, so I can stay up on current events!

Simplicity said...

Dont forget the brazilian bikini wax as a sign they're on the rise (heh) so to speak.