FFF - In or Out

Safe travels Ad, thanks for thinking of us while your on the road!

Join in here if you are new.

Betsy speaking......

It seems like it just yesterday that the War was over and everything was so exciting.  A Rensselaer guy and a Hollins girl seemed like such a good match.  We were so happy, I think.  Maybe it was that I was preoccupied with crown molding and French country decor. One day Tom couldn't keep his hands off of me, the next morning sex would make him late for his 8 am tee time.

If this is what life was supposed to be like, why do I hate to get up each morning.  When Tom got back from the War his desire seemed so raw it shocked yet tantalized me.  Such a look might scare me now too for it's oddity and yet to be looked at with so much desire would make me feel alive again, give me that reason to get out of bed or better yet be in bed.

So I sent little Timmy off to momma's house and decided to dress up like one of those sluts from Queens.  I wanted to be wanted, to be taken.  Before Tom goes out again I want him to know that there is still something exciting here on Pequot Lane.  (Sigh) In or out, why is this life so confusing?

Tom speaking.......

Jesus Betsy gave me such a curveball.  Why can't women communicate.  She sure did look gorgeous though.  I wish I hadn't let Mr. Hopkins drag me to that club after work.  But damn Betsy looked every bit as good as those dames at that place.  Why did she do that?  Does she just want to be some dame?  I've spent so much time being the man she wants me to be and then she says she wants me to be more daring?

Daring was such an easy thing when I didn't have a wife and kids, when I didn't matter, when nobody counted on me for anything.  But now?  People expect me to be Mr. Rath, the man in the nice suits who's taking over for Mr. Hopkins some day.  I'm that man with the gorgeous house, the beautiful wife, the nice set of clubs.  A man like that can't be daring; too much rides on his success.  Daring is for a man who can afford to fail.

Am I failing if I can't look and simply lust for her.  Why can't I just enter through that door.  She wants me, I should just take her.  In or out, why is this life so confusing?

Author's Admission:  I've shamelessly stolen this theme from" the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit" and perhaps a little from "Revolutionary Road."  Btw, the Man with the Grey Flannel Suit is the original 1950's version of Mad Men.  Don't know why I got this particular idea.  For some reason she seemed Betty Page'esque to me but in the setting somewhat matronly.  Putting those two together I got the image of Jennifer Jones who is the wife in "the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit."  I had watched the movie recently.  I had come across the title in doing some leadership theory research.  The movie is a fictional offshoot of the 1950's leadership/management study "The Organization Man."  The two books speak to the post modern personal conflict between group and individual goals; career vs. family; and the balance of daring vs preserving social norms and the resulting impact to satisfaction in a sometimes empty consumptive suburban life.  Even the title itself "the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit" makes a point.  Does he have a soul or is his existence solely tied to his image in the "Grey Flannel" power suit.  It ends up being a microcosm of what many of us deal with daily when navigating relationships.  Do we accept societal norms to preserve the peace or do we break the boundaries of normalcy to achieve a greater good that satisfies at a higher level.  And if we do so do we make things better or worse for those around us that we love and care for.

Oh well, in that Leadership Development analysis I also came across Cognitive Structural Theory that mentioned the highest order of intellectual and ethical development is "commitment" which involves commitments within a relativistic context.  With "commitment" an individual considers alternatives based on a clear sense of identity.  Commitments are then tested, evaluated, and modified as necessary (Perry, 1968).

Wow, quite a segue from a beautiful scantily clad girl, no???

Anyway, in or out, life is so confusing.