Friday, February 21, 2014

Ryan's Repeats - So Happy Together

This week has been a little sad as one of my favorite shows ended last Sunday.  Looking back I feel even more connected as it had a four year run on the Disney Channel which somewhat closely coincides with my four year run on Ashley Madison and blogging.  It was a show the whole family enjoyed.  A show that seemed to fit more in the 80's when an entire family could enjoy the Cosby Show or Family Ties together and children and parents could laugh together and "get it."  Thankfully my family was able to watch the show often and laugh together and perhaps at ourselves when we saw parallels between the show and us.

But as I often do let's set that thought aside for a moment.

It's hard to know when I started thinking I might be able to talk about something other than chasing women on Ashley Madison.  Perhaps I always knew it.  Truth be told my favorite Riff Dog posts were always about something other than AM success such as Soccer Saturday's or helping some hot MILF who's car had broken down.  I've always found something interesting and sustaining about normality.  It's probably why I like Seinfeld so much, they invested so much time in talking (and laughing) about nothing.  It's probably why I've never been into fantasizing about stars, I like the women I see every day at the gym because they are real to me.  When Riff talked about admiring ladies at his kids soccer practice I could see him as a regular dude just like me.  Perhaps he was a little more suave and LA cool, but in reality he was kind of bumbling his way through life just like me.

I think on my blog it started with talking about my failures - they were always more fun (in hindsight) than my successes.  But through writing about my reaction to failures on AM I started thinking about life and how I fit into the cosmos or something (well that sounds good at least).  I think what I found is that I felt quite comfortable with this character I had become in life.

And so what started as an occasion look or observation about life became what I enjoyed most; looking at how us husbands manage to get through the day around the dramas of the wives and kids that run around us and often through us!

One show always seemed to capture my quietly content angst over life and that was Good Luck Charlie.  The family always seemed so genuine and the dad?  Well, he was a dad just like me.  Probably an expert in his field, revered by many, but at home just a little bit in the way and just not so very cool.  But I'm sure in the end loved for being that unseen safety net that is always there but not necessarily noticed.

Well, I'll miss Good Luck Charlie a lot.  Damn that Amy Dunkin is SO VERY HOT, the archetypal 40-something lady us "dogs" on AM would love to meet! And she is so like Shannon.  One of her best Amy quotes: “Whether it’s a mom and a dad, or two moms, or two dads . . . nobody likes your bug stories (Bob).” But thank God I don't have 5 kids!

And, "oh btw," here is one of those observational typical "guy moments" I ended up writing about and enjoying.

Oh and "Good Luck Charlie," you'll be missed by this happily frustrated dad.  You know my girls and I once mentally wrote a Good Luck Charlie episode.  I've got that on my blog "to-do" list some day, some day!  :)

Ryan's Repeat
from February 19th, 2013

The Setting:  A quaint tavern in Ryan's rustic bedroom community outside DC.  The town is bedazzled in the lights of Christmas and the tavern is full of happy guests.  

As we walked into the room I casually glanced over to her.  She radiated beauty and gleamed with happiness.  I knew we were right where she wanted to be; for once I was right, her prince.  As we walked in she lit up the room, she always does.  She always gets that attention.  I was proud to be with her.  I know women look at her and think she has it all (style, beauty, and class) and men look at me and think I've got it all in her.

Yeah, that is not quite the image of Cinderella when the prince notices the beautiful girl from across the room.  But when you are married you tend to become ONE singular image to the outside world.  You are no longer known as Ryan or Shannon, you are the Beaumonts or really more often ******'s dad or mom.  But if you are having a little soiree and need some witty banter about NASCAR and ribs sprinkled with dialogue on the best facial cremes used by the in-crowd and the coolest styles, gadgets, and reading lists in the New Yorker you'll want to invite the Beaumonts.  I'll let you guess who among Ryan and Shannon is the authority on which subject!  :)

Hey I'm into NASCAR and alternative fuels
What am I talking about today?  Couples dating!

No not that couples dating, I'm not cool like some of those Hot-wifing sites.  I'm just talking about the normal old Honeymooners type stuff.  You know what I mean, the couples you enjoy spending time with.  Really it ends up being just like high school, stressing out over what they think of you, are you right for them, do we measure up to a University professor and an Assistant District Attorney?  Are you an introverted couple or an extroverted couple; alpha or beta?

Hey buddy get your hands off your wife
Yes on that night we were joining a group of parents for our annual gathering as our offspring practiced for their holiday dance recital.  Yes a night of free after-care!  This was about our third year of doing this and yes Ryan who typically doesn't care to walk to the drum-beat of alpha or beta had organized the first grand fete two years back.  There is Mr and Mrs Lawyer (the younger) and the other Mr and Mrs Lawyer (the elder).  The Elder lawyers are very interesting because no matter where you talk about they have been there and either played golf or skied.  Best thing though is that Mr. Elder Lawyer is a full partner and probably a full on alcoholic and after his 3rd Scotch everything is on him!   There is also Mr IT Analyst and his wife Mrs Doctor.  There is Mrs Marketing Analyst and her husband Mr State Trooper.  Yes quit the nice gang.

Anyway, as I said this is about our third time doing this and the second time which is now about a year and a half ago I mentally thought out a post.  So now here I am actually doing it.

I could be seen with them
It occurred to me that once your married and the kids are old enough to be a little on their own you start to want to get back into the social scene.  And that is when you realize that you need to meet other couples.  You start to think which couples would compliment my passions of NASCAR and BBQ?  Does their hair color and choice of style compliment my Olive green eyes?  Will they accept the fact that I'm fiscally conservative yet still think Mitt Romney should pay some taxes.  Will they get that some things I'm serious as a heart attack over (like Big State U football) and most other things not so much.  Will they understand that I respect their reverence for the environment but NO I ain't givin' up Filet Mignon and that is not an insult to their cause.

Cute but don't make me look bad
Really it gets you to thinking the same way you did back in college.  My ideal couple would be good looking.  They don't have to have big tits.  In fact if she is a C cup I could care less.  But if the dude has big man boobs they are out immediately!  I would like them to be fit.  In fact I'd like to be able to go skiing or perhaps a hike along the Appalachian Trail. But no I ain't doing no triathlons   They don't have to be too smart, in fact to be honest I'd like them smart but not quite as smart as me.  They need to understand sports.  They don't have to be Bobby Knight but at least know what to cheer about.  I can take some alternate views on politics but I don't want them to be too much in my face.

So where does that leave you.  Well back in the day after I had sized up every chick in the DZ and DDD house and turned my nose at everyone I finally settled in on the best looking one that could tolerate me for more than 5 minutes (which means the one that would screw me a second time).  Well, as I said this is not about hot-wifing so in the end the ideal couple is the one who is available and that I can tolerate and who can tolerate me.  See, same as in college.

Actually the song above is pretty special to me.  I remember way back in 3rd grade I had a teacher, Mrs. C. She was very pretty; my first teacher crush.  Thinking back I suspect she had pretty nice tits as well but back then a shy 10 year old boy could develop just a little crush over a sweet smile, long brunette hair, and a lovely voice.  What made me enamored of her was that occasionally she would bring in her guitar and sing to us kiddies.  "Happy Together" was one of the songs I remember her singing and she looked so lovely to my young eyes as she sang.  Funny what I guy will remember.  So this is for you Mrs. C, although I doubt you'd approve of the forum.

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