Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Ooh woo, I'm a Rebel Just for Kicks

"let me kick if like it's 1986...."

Wow have I been enjoying that "Feel it Still" song by Portugal the Man on my daughters terrestrial current music stations.  It's a really groovy retro break from all the crappy rap talking about how many millions the dude has in his bank account.  And who knew there was more to Wasilla, Alaska than our own favorite retro Tea Party politician Sara Palin (yes, that is where Portugal the Man is from)!  Reminds me when we thought crazy people only ran for VP.  The song really does feel like one of those old Phil Specter "wall of sound" songs.  I guess given all the harassment going around I shouldn't be talking about him either.  I mean who knows who might be hacking this and get offended by me and I'd have to render a public coming out and apology.  Kind of makes you just want to stay and home and curl up in a ball in bed with a cat.

But you know I can never do that can I.

I mentioned last month that I was back on AM just for kicks and to finish out my last credits.  I wrote to Ms. INTJ (Alexa) but she opened my note and then promptly shut down her account.  Disappointment for sure because I wrote such a great note, you know.  Well the next day I open up my mischief e-mail and see "AlexaBell is interested in you...."

I opened my AM and Alexa had written the following note back:

"Thanks for the message. Tennis, work, are about it for the weekend. 

As to the INTJ, I am a true INTJ, there is no border (you spelled it boarder...) for me, though I'm also in sales so a persona is adopted as needed. Yep, very familiar with that site. 

And the dominant aspect, I am so dominant that if I meet a man than can challenge me consistently, yet not arrogantly, highly unusual. Much nuance involved. It's a welcome break. There has only been one Dom, and it seems he's becoming more rare by the day. I have to assume by your second to last sentence that by confident you meant dominant, but in a very understated and subdued way."

So when you read about AM advice you hear a lot about how to construct that first message, how to get that door open by being interesting, engaging, and making sure the recipient is cognizant of how much you are considerate of who they are and what they are looking for on the site.  And that is good advice.  But in my experience I have learned that following a few good recipes will get you that "read receipt" message and a few good quick responses back like "thanks for reading my profile you seem like a nice guy, what are you looking for here..."

The reality on AM or rather key to getting laid is not so much that first note (impression) but the critical second note.  For that is the note that is going to start a conversation and ultimately that super critical segue to e-mail.  Only then can the action start, so only after that second message is delivered and received with interest do you truly start on the road to AM success.

Clearly Alexa had poked some fun at me by my misuse of the word "boarder," would I use that effectively or get put off.  Well, the offended rarely get laid, so I try to turn stupidity into something fun and intriging!

Here was my second note to Alexa:

Ha, ha, yes I am about 51% E and 49% I; I am not a resident or occupant (boarder) of that Myers-Briggs axis! Perhaps it would better to say I straddle the line betwixt the two! 

So INTJ and sales you must be adaptive. One does not typically consider INTJ congruent with sales. Are you in technical or corporate sales? INTJs are not typical "do I have a bargain for you today..." type of people. 

For me I get the opportunity to make plenty of decisions at work every day, perhaps too many at times. When I'm on my own time, and that is often outdoors, I like to just be. I am confident and as an I/ENTJ I can be contrarian so it's often hard to TELL me what to do though I am happy to be encouraged and influenced to do so. I think INTJs need to feel like they control or at least affect the decision and their opinion (or expertise) is valued and being considered. 

You say "I am so dominant that if I meet a man that can challenge me consistently, yet not arrogantly, highly, highly unusual.." Wow, I so want to be challenged! Throw something my way, I love challenges! 

Sorry you had to work over the weekend but glad you got tennis in. I've gotten back into tennis a bit of late but I'm better at racquetball. Saturday was work and fun for me as we had a big annual running event in town ********. 

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. And throw something challenging at me! I love a good debate and don't mind a difference of opinion. 

Btw, I've checked my spelling and grammar three times knowing now that you will proof read! :) 

Take Care Alexa! 

I think a popular comedic trait these days is the Will Ferrell effect of being wittingly ignorant or seemly ignorant in a clever way.  Or maybe its curiously silly.  Oh well, I seem to do it OK and seems to get the ladies interested.  You must always know that the entire AM process has to be fun for all so MAKE IT SO!  I must have made it so as Alexa wrote back:

And I can tell that you're exactly that, split between the two. The exclamation points are a dead giveaway. I seldom use them unless I have to feign enthusiasm. 

Yep, I am very adaptive and have to put on a persona many a day, some days not as much as others. When I do, it can be an effort, but I then have the benefit of getting back into the car to recover. Despite that, I have been relatively successful at sales. All sales have some level of technicality, and most sales are via a corporation of some sort. I work in ********* sales. Sales has come a long way from that mentality of the bargain aspect. I've never been that way as it is. Relative to the company and type of sale that I am engaged in, it's from a position of consulting and providing solutions to customers rather than pure selling for selling sake. 

Of course, agree on the INTJ descriptions you've noted That's certainly me. And it also seems to be you. It is me looking for the challenge, and you've got a huge challenge in simply e-mailing me and keeping me engaged That's the one that has dropped into your lap. 

If you don't mind my asking, which **********? And if you mind my asking, never mind. What type of administrator are you? 

I've never played racquetball. I assume I would enjoy it since I like most racquet sports. 

So I've now gotta ask how long we'll be e-mailing here vs off the site or are you simply looking for a pen pal? Though I enjoy writing immensely, being a pen pal is very far from my only interest. I assume you're taking a real low key approach. 

What's the name behind the R? 

Your checking for typos and checking grammar goes a long way, thank you. 


OMG, "exclamation points," she is definitely "effing" with me, I love it!!!  How is that for over exclamating!  :)
I couldn't help it though I had to continue to play along.  I was even more pleased with my next note:

Oh snap Alexandra! Exclamation points to feign enthusiasm! Love it! 

I'm sure my writing prof in college would mark off for using exclamation points and while one needs to be concise here, projecting a degree of emotion can be a good practice. I would say my writing has evolved over the years, or rather devolved. I've learned a well place OMG, lol, :), or ?! helps innumerably when communicating with those Gen NeXters presently around me all the time. 

  *********** distribution sales - very interesting; makes sense. In that you really need to know the customers end needs relative to packaging, delivery, engineering, production flow, and of course the end customers needs and desires. All that is pure INTJ. 

I oversee ******** services here at my little place in the world. Nobody ever knows what that means so I often say ******** services.  My career came through ******* services in the ***** ***** sector and I grew into my current position about five years ago. 

As you can tell I do take a low key approach. As I like to say five years from now it won't matter if we shared pictures or met for coffee this Tuesday or next but by being overly anxious you can preempt yourself from something you desire. Not sure if that is passive or Dom? I do think it is confident that things will turn out OK if you are a good person and treat people well. 

So it is true that this (AM) is not the best word processing program and editor. Gmail et al are demonstrably better. I am happy to segue to that format. If you wish, send a reply to ryanbeaumontregularguy@gmail.com. Yes that is a tip of the hat to one of my favorite bands REM. And, pen pal is not my only interest as well! 

So tell me how your day is going?

Take Care, 


Just an FYI, I realize that ryanbeaumontregularguy is certainly not a tip of the hat to REM, my favorite band; but I'm sharing my mischief e-mail here any more than I would share my blogger e-mail with an AM lady.

Alexa wrote back:

Hmm, that's pretty cool that you're interested in hearing all about my day. Is this normally how you are or unusual, wanting to know all about my day, that is? 

And how did you come to pick "amidujour", which I know means "friend of the day" in French? Is this your modus operandi? 

I shall write more later, I'll betcha you're not surprised (I enjoy writing). I'd like to hear much more about you. After all, I never want all the spotlight.

OK, so this is looking pretty good.  I seem to be hitting on the write language.

"Might be over now but I feel it still,
Might've had your, but I feel it still...." 

Saturday, September 30, 2017

And You Can Feel it All Around You, but it's Something You Just Can't Touch

Brett Favre, Muhammad Ali, Dirty Dancing - Havana Nights, Vanilla Ice, Van Halen....., sometime you should really know when to quit.  But you keep thinking, I still have a few more credits why not try a few more times and try to recapture that past glory.  So recently I've been scrolling through those 40-something profiles within 50 miles and looking for a lady between 5' and 5'10" that has written something "not canned" and does not have a profile photo in a bikini and makes no mention of wanting to have a "sausage party," or have a profile name like CumNGetit, all indications of an on-line host.  As an aside, with my new sign-ons to AM I sure have become popular in China, everyday some K-pop looking chic winks at me and sometimes they even send me a cherry imogi gift.  Who knew!?

But seriously I do have a few credits and just like Brett I can't walk away from that urge to throw one more TD pass.  So I continue to look for interesting ladies.

The other night it came down to three ladies.  One seemed very sweet, with a fogged picture of a brunette that appeared to be your third grade teacher.  All she wrote was "I'm looking for a man who can offer me the passion and excitement that is missing from my marriage," with no checks.  That just looked like a host with carpal tunnel and can't write anymore (seriously AM got a lawsuit once from a host who sued from getting carpal tunnel).  A 50 year that is 5'2" and 115 looked very interesting particularly given that she's into "daring rendezvous" and has 17 checks for "looks better in person!"  That has to be a slam dunk, right?!  But then again who wants sloppy 18ths on "pursues fantasies" and "salacious!"

So I settled on Alexa.  Here is Alexa's profile (slightly modified to protect the guilty).  I thought she was pretty interesting and who can resist the same Meyers-Briggs personality type as Jane Austen!  I speak Meyers-Briggs and happen to be, on some non-social days, an INTJ; except when I'm more in my Ryan personality and then I'm more ENTJ.  Anyway, she was too much of a challenge to pass up.  My note is below.  I thought it was pretty good!

Seeking Dom
  • Age: 49 (*******)
  • Location: *******, Virginia, United States
  • Height: 5'4" (157cm)
  • Weight: 125 lbs (59kg) - Fit
  • Languages Spoken: English
  • My Limits: Something Long Term
  • Status: Attached Female seeking Males
  • Gender: Female
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
  • Smoking Habits: Never
Preferences and encounters I am open to:
Being Submissive/Slave, Bondage, Spanking, Blindfolding, Role Playing, Threesome, Open to Experimentation, Aggressiveness, Gentleness, Good With Your Hands, Sensual Massage, Extended Foreplay/Teasing, Likes to Give Oral Sex, Likes to Receive Oral Sex, Someone Who Can Teach Me, Likes to be Watched/Exhibitionism, Lots of Stamina, Dressing Up/Lingerie, Kissing

This is more than just hard sex. Has to be a physical attraction, first. Then, you have to be intelligent, quick-witted, and be able to string together more than two words to form a sentence. If you're the least bit arrogant or conceited, I will feel it. If you are not able, due to your schedule, or not interested, in daily communication, preferably a combination of e-mail, text, or another chat app., do not contact me. If you do not live in the DC Metro area, do not contact me If you have no sense of humor, really don't contact me. I expect well-educated, well-traveled, well-read. I have no time for game players or men who only want to chat erotically, so if that interests you, move on. And if we do decide to meet, dress like a Dom, not like a slob. A three piece suit, while not necessary, is noticed. Put some care into your dress. I expect to meet you at least one time to chat over a meal, to determine if there is any substance and depth, or if there is only a shallow surface. Most importantly, be discriminating, as I am very much so, and be capable of caring about a woman outside of the sex. I look for patterns and notice this more than words or your actions. Patterns speak volumes. I'm an INTJ. Read up on what that means before you contact me. If you do, you'll know much of what you need to know.
What really turns me on:
A Professional/Well Groomed, Stylish/Classy, Muscular/Fit Body, Sense of Humor, Imagination, Creative and Adventurous, Aggressive/Take Charge Nature, Confidence, A Good Listener, Good Communicator, Good Personal Hygiene, High Sex Drive, Dislikes Routine, Likes Routine, Has a Secret Love Nest, Disease Free, Drug Free, Casual/Social Drinker, Discretion/Secrecy
What I'm looking for:
Travel, Shopping for Sexy Clothes/Lingerie, Fine Dining/Candle Lit Dinners, Music Lover, Dancing, Theatre, Motorcycles, Visiting Adult Swing Clubs, Daring Rendezvous, Watching Sports, Playing Sports, Erotic Literature, Physical Fitness, Photography, Skinny Dipping, Long Drives, Wine Tasting, I Am a Social Drinker

Member Feedback:
gives good chat
pursues fantasies
worth the time
better in person
hot to trot
better over time
keeps promises

Here is my note to Alexa:

Wow Alexa, (Zodiac sign) and INTJ I feel like I need to write to myself. So what would turn me on in a note, let me think....? Oh wait you don't want arrogant and conceited. That's good because its really about how we feel together in that certain moment. Sure I'm confident but I'm confident enough to go on the journey side by side making sure each is equally fascinated by the trip.

So Ms INTJ did they tell you in school it's lonely at the top as an INTJ. Good to have someone to walk along side you that is as imaginative and thoughtful; and likes to be precise with plans. How's that for a run on sentence with WAY more than two words. So how about a walk at Great Falls and some wine tasting at a spot where we can discuss the change of seasons, your thoughts on Balanchine vs Vaganova, or even how the Nats will do in the playoffs and be back in time to beat rush hour. I'm balanced and precise that way!

I have a BS in Business, a Minor in English, and an MBA so I'm fairly thoughtful unless you are a *** grad and then my degrees from Big State U make me somewhat lacking in cognitive sophistication. But at least I can be self deprecating and funny!

So please take a few of your 2,000 available characters to tell me what inspires you so I can be a good listener!

And even though I'm an INTJ as well you don't have to just stick to the 5W's and H and just the facts, maam!

Take Care and have a great evening!


Well the next day I got two messages from AM in my in-box, YEAH!  But when I checked closer one was "priority message opened" and the other was "key access request."  Wow, Ms. INTJ, such mixed messages; I thought us INTJ's were all about "fish or cut bait."  OK, OK, so I sent her my private photos; all classy mind you!  No, chesty mirror shots, and private parts.  My favorite is me in front of the alligators at Disney!  Yes I think it says daring with enough liquidity to afford a pricey vacation as well!  :)

Unfortunately an hour later she pulled her profile.  DANG!

Or did I miss again
I think I missed again, oh
Oh, I missed again, oh
I think I missed again, oh......

Note:   As of this morning she is back on line but now do I spend another $79 to follow up????