Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Well I Hope You Won't See Me In my Ragged Company

It was not my original intent for this blog to speak about past adventures.  But a few weeks ago I wrote “A Night in the Life of Ryan Beaumont – on Tobacco Road,” an obvious rip-off from the River Phoenix movie “A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon.”  But I had such a good time with it that I put on my calendar to do at least one follow up.  And I did leave a bit of a sequel opportunity at the end of the post.  I mentioned that I never saw Whitney again but it was because I met another girl soon after.

So obviously here is the continuation of the story which will segue into a point at the end so try to stay with me even if you’re only reading ever fifth word until I get to some sex (which as you know from my blog may never happen).

But first some housekeeping.  Why would I choose a lyric from a Rolling Stone’s song about shooting heroin?  Well, I’m glad to say that is just part of the story.  No I don’t shoot heroin!  There was this duo that played that song every Sunday night at a bar I went to with friends in my new town.  This one friend was dating a girl who was friends with Natalie and that is how I met Natalie, the girl who made me quickly forget about Whitney.  Although I still think about my jacket!  In fact a Facebook friend recently tagged me in an old college photo of me in that jacket and I do say I look quite dapper!

Back to Natalie though, funny thing about girls, you know we get it in our mind that it is so hard to figure them out, though many times it is.  But I have found that if a girl walks up to you in a bar and starts talking to you and then just doesn’t leave and maybe laughs at your stupid jokes then she just might be interested in you!  Well, my sample size on that study is only about 3 but so far it’s been fairly accurate!  J

And so it was with Natalie.  She had just graduated from college and I would later learn had just broken up with her high school sweet-heart (can you say OPPORTUNITY)!  But Ryan, you are always the shoulder to cry on not a flagrant opportunist, right?  Wrong!  Natalie was quite hot!  A little on the shorter side based on my history (maybe 5’3”ish) with silky shoulder length straight red hair and beautiful blue eyes.  Well, and yes, she had a very nice pair of ti...(knees), and a great as...(mind)!

I had seen Natalie out at this bar on a previous Sunday and another bar this same group played at on Thursday’s as well.  So toward the end of this particular night that I noticed her interest I said “we should go out some time, have you been to the comedy club – I’ve been wanting to go?”  And she said yes!  Meaning, she wanted to go out with me, not just simply go to the comedy club.  So I got her phone number and put it on a piece of paper (long before we put people in our phones).  I talked to her during the week to confirm that date and we ended up talking for a long time.  So as the next Saturday approached things were looking good.

On Saturday night I pulled up to her apartment (in my hot black sports car with sunroof, btw – long before I retired to the mini-van phase of my life) and she was waiting on the stoop (another good sign).  She stood up and walked down toward me.

DAMN!  She’s hot!  I mean she had looked good before but now she was wearing a tight black mini-skirt that just barely covered her butt, a tight sleeveless low cut white blouse that also left a whole lot of midriff to be seen (and appreciated), and shiny black high heeled pumps that perfectly accentuated her gorgeous legs.

I said “you look fantastic!”

And then she said what will lead into my point for the day.

Natalie: “thanks, I just went out and got this today”

So do you want to hear what happened on the date or my point of the day?

Too bad it’s my blog so you have to hear my point!  L

And today’s point is – Little Things Girls Do That Guys Like

I say little things because if I was going to write a blog about Big Things Girls Can Do That Guys Like -  well, that would just be a really short read with just three points including, and I quote Dave Chappelle here (so blame him, not me) “feed me, fuck me, and let me have some peace and quiet…”

So again, Little Things Girls Do That Guys Like

  • Like Natalie, tell us the sexy thing you are wearing you picked out just to look good for moi!
  • Like Natalie, you can be confident and not appear clingy and still show us how glad you are to see us!  So don’t make us wait too long.
  • Use gentle physical contact to guide us and let us know how much you enjoy touching us; a gently hand on the shoulder or shoulder slightly touching is sexy!
  • Complement us when we look good and let us know how much you appreciate the fact that we are looking good for you!
  • Like Whitney, enjoy wearing an article of our clothing!  Although, unlike Whitney I would have preferred seeing her in my button down shirt and nothing else rather than fully clothed and in my jacket but you get my point!
  • Like Shannon used to do, do a slow striptease and dance naked in front of us and tantalize us until we are about to burst but in the end don’t denigh us!  Well that kind of sounds like one of those big things or at least it leads to a big thing.
  • Try to enjoy a few things we like (e.g. sports) and be astounded by our knowledge – even if mundane; give us positive reinforcement to like what you like (meaning let us know how hot it is that we took you to a ballet).
  • I personally adore a girl who can sing.  I remember this one girl from an English class in college.  She was a bit of a hippie with that faint patchouli smell which has always turned me off.  But she was in a band I went to see often and she did a great Chrissie Hynde so I couldn’t help but have a little crush on her.
  • Oh, and drive a stick shift, I love a women who can drive manual transmission!

OK, I won’t leave you hangin’.  We had a great time at dinner and the comedy club but didn’t have sex that night.  We did enjoy a nice long “make-out” session on that brownstone-type stoop at the end of the night though.  The following week was some putt-putt with friends and then the next week was dinner and then that same group at a bar strategically located near my apartment.  And of course after a few beers nobody would want me to drive them across town so we went over to my place and the rest as they say is history.  Well, some great sex for about 3 months until she decided she wanted to return to the other tri-cornered geographic location in that particular state.

But I do think of Natalie and that summer and her beautiful pert and petite body on top of me in the afternoon and after the pool.  Taking off those bathing suits after being at the pool always seems to feel even more naked and satisfying doesn’t it!  And she felt so good moving onto and on top of me with her perfectly shaped breasts glistened in the sun through my window as they danced over me in the rhythm of our sex and those lovely piercing blue eyes gazing down on me like that Carolina blue sky!


France said...

Interesting tips, but mostly common sense. :)

I love to handle a shift stick. I can drive manual too. :P

Same sassy girl said...

Catching up on your fabulous blog... so late commenting, but I showed my guy ...if I was going to write a blog about Big Things Girls Can Do That Guys Like - well, that would just be a really short read with just three points including, and I quote Dave Chappelle here (so blame him, not me) “feed me, fuck me, and let me have some peace and quiet…”

He said if I add "and buy him beer" they'd make great wedding vows. Um... wow.