Thursday, February 16, 2012

Sometimes We all Feel a Need to Change

Or Channeling 20-something bloggers

OK, so at 26 Sandee is not exactly jail-bate.  But I had not ever really chased those 20-something ladies on AM.  I even read a couple of 20-something bloggers and had never really thought in terms of "hey I would really like to hook up with you (at least not anymore than any other blogger)," I just enjoyed their thoughts and stories.   Well maybe the anticipation of a few responses like "F you old dude" dissuaded me as well but you get the point - my target audience had always been about 35 and above.

But I was invested in Sandee now and she was uber-cool so if she was interested in me I was willing to give this a try.  Knowing full well that at this point, based on known AM odds, I was still at only at about a 15% chance of actually meeting her.  Sex with her; now we are in John Huntsman percentages!

Could I be as cool as Steve Martin?
But for housekeeping let me explain the name.  Of course, her name is not really Sandee.  But as I was contemplating my potential relationship with this cute 20-something girl I recalled one of my favorite movies, LA Story.  In the story an older and urbane Steve Martin has a relationship with a young energetic Sarah Jessica Parket (named SanDeE*).  I love that story, the humor, the analysis on life, etc.  Plus, sometimes highway signs talk to me!  :)

So I started thinking of Sandee as SanDeE* because she was cute and spunky like Sarah Jessica in that movie.  And (hint, hint) I would love to think of myself as Steve Martin (an aside I love his New Yorker articles as much as his movies but don't think just because Shannon has a subscription I'm very literate)!

But then I started thinking about the age difference and communication.  Perhaps I was overthinking it.  But one concept brought me solace.  I knew some of these 20-something ladies.  Yeah, those bloggers I follow.  What if I was writing to one of them?  What would I say to Elle if I was flirting with her?

So I thought about Elle.  Yeah, she is pretty smart; I know because I've e-mailed her a few times.  In fact I consulted her once on a post and she sent me back all these James Allen quotes.  He is a poet so she is pretty much over my head.  Then again, you have to drill down to a Kardashian to get to my intellectual equivalent!  But Elle writes about running out of toilet paper and burning her mouth on frozen pizza in her blog so those personality traits I can relate to.

So I decided yes, I would channel Elle and write Sandee as if I was writing to Elle.  This may work.

Sandee kind of reminded me of Elle anyway witty, goofy, but charming, and smart.  I wonder if she draws cartoons as well as Elle?

Besides, I really didn't think any of this would work anyway - but wow the blog entries will be awesome so full steam ahead!

Oh but wait there was one other thing that was stuck in my head.  I am not a conspiracy theorist by any stretch of the imagination; I just don't think that much.  But now I was thinking conspiracy.  Why the hell is this hot 26 year old writing to me?  What if this is actually some teenager playing on the social networking highway for a gag!  Hey, I started this for fun not to get arrested!  I told myself to BE careful.  That wasn't too hard; as I've said I'm not exactly a "kinkster" on e-mail so I just made sure I didn't make any sexual requests or propositions that might come back to haunt me.

The other thing I started to think about, and yes I admit this is my hubris talking, was that I started to wonder if someone from the blogoshere had tried to track me down.  Maybe a crazy fan was trying to hunt Ryan Beaumont down on AM to try to find the real dude behind the blog?  Hmmm...., interesting thought, but wo is the poor person who's life's mission would be to hunt me down.  That would be like the time as a young kid I bit into baker's chocolate thinking it was something sweet and yummy and then BLECK (reality)!

But I also thought maybe Sandee is a blogger and just screwing with guys to get fodder for a blog.  What an irony that would be if she ran into me (a blogger) looking for stuff to blog about.

I keep some of that product at hand!
Well, I had a lot to think about.  But regardless, I was moving ahead - this was just too interesting to pass up!  And damn, she was cute (if the photos were real).  She was really cool too; actually that was the biggest draw.  She sent me this one picture of her on Halloween where she was dressed as Cameron Diaz in Something About Mary - you know the scene where she has the Cindy Lou Who hair with that special "product" she got from Ben Stiller!

So deep breath and step forward; after all this was my Lloyd Dobler "dare to be great" opportunity!


Luna Moon said...

I have to be honest. I am having a hard time getting past the macaroon/DC story. What would she be doing in DC with a bag from a store found only in NYC (fantastic observation, BTW!)? Sure, maybe she *really* liked the bag and carries it around with her (doubtful!), but you also mentioned that the background didn't look like DC. Hmmm... There's something about Sandee!

david said...

I think I hit the mark when I posted my comment to " Girl You'll Be A Woman.... Soon" ( taken down and comments disabled ). As sexy as her pictures are they don't hold a candle to her mind. Urge Overkill sang it better but Neil is great.

Cara Janes said...

You MUST meet her. I am dying to hear how this turns out!!!

Ryan Beaumont said...

@ Luna - There is something about Sandee!

@ David - I won't take these comments down; last week was a little shaky as you know.

@ Dearest Care you know it would seem odd to talk so much about someone I never ended up meeting. But then again I fawn over Kat all the time and I've never met her so who knows! :)

Cara Janes said...

FYI, Ryan, I am addicted to your blog. I just finished all the Shannon Stories and you should absolutely write a novel. Reading a novel would have been way easier than searching through your blog for the Shannon Stories. Of course, I got to read all the other stories, too, so that was kind of a bonus. That being said, it would sound so much better if I were able to respond "I read that new book by Ryan Beaumont" rather than "I spent the entire evening reading a blog" when asked "what do you do last night?". Food for thought, if you will.