FFF - Be Careful What You Wish For

It's Hallo-FFF'ing-ween So Get to Over to Ad's Page and Get to Haunting!

They say "be careful what you wish for;" it's true!

I loved her, I really did.  I believe that Eva was the only woman who could have ever make me happy.  She was so beautiful, a truly sweet person and a gorgeous body that was spectacularly delicious!  Her only fault was that she was absolutely a "dead fuck!"  I got more passion from training dummies I gave CPR to back in Med School at Hopkins.

For me that was a problem.  You see I love sex and need it daily.  As beautiful and sweet as Eva was, she would never be that sensual woman for me.

But after taking our vows things were OK for some time.  I pretended that it was normal to be frustrated and just needed to be happy with the sweet comfortable occasional sex we did have.  But at work those nurses were so hot and tempting; they wanted me, all I had to do was yield.  And yield I inevitably did. What guy is going to resist a smoking hot BJ in the ER supply room from a women who truly enjoys her craft.  That first misstep led to many new encounters.  Eventually a pair of panties in my gym bag sunk my ship.  Eva was devastated and thrown into depression.  But instead of dealing with reality we decided I was a sex addict that needed therapy.

Therapy worked for awhile because I did love her and wanted to be the faithful husband she thought she had married.  But when I got my own practice those Pharmaceutical Reps started coming by.  Jesus, do they only hire the sorority girls with the biggest tits to sell Xanex?  And of course there was always an invitation to lunch.  

So the next affair started with Laney, the super hot Pfizer rep.  Laney was so cool and confident and would mount me like an obstacle course.  Being with her was a sexual boot camp that left me blown-away, addicted for more of the medicinal healing she proffered.

My undoing this time was when Eva realized Thursday afternoons were no longer spent at Congressional.  She tracked me one day and discovered my real Thursday afternoon forays.

The site of seeing her break down in that hotel lobby crushed me; her aura still melted my heart.  To see someone you care for fall apart at your doing is heart-wrenching.   A doc buddy of mine got her into Sheppard Pratt for some time and when she got back I thought we could move forward.  I tried to dive into work and worked out my frustrations on the links.  Things were again better for a little while.  We even talked about starting a family, surely that would be the prescription we needed to heal.

But eventually another woman found me as they always seemed to do.  She was the daughter of one of my old Med School profs.  We met at a charity golf outing.  First she just wanted some help on her back swing and short game and I obliged.  But the short game turned into a steaming affair.

Her youth and spirit and the way her body moved with mine was hypnotic and I was prisoner to her passionate exploration.  I knew I was just her "older guy" life affirmation and discovery but that made her even more appealing; I could not get enough of her body next to mine.

I rationalized that Eva was still mentally healing and that this thing would be over quickly and I would be then ready to move forward with my wife.

Then one nightfall on Halloween she discovered my weakness once again.  Deep in the midst of passion the door opened and there stood Eva.  At the sight her pretty head fell forward into her hands.  She shrieked and the turned and ran away.  Seconds later I heard an engine roar and the squeal of wheels pulling away quickly. 

I dressed promptly and took off after her not knowing where to go.  I only found a note when I arrived at home "I've gone to where we began perhaps if I start over I can end this pain....."

It hit me that she must have gone to Great Falls, site of one of our first dates and one of "our spots" so to speak.  I drove quickly through the night to get to her.

When I arrived I ran to the overlook and saw her shadowy figure standing on the rail.  Her angelic figure was brilliant as the moon-light cascaded and danced about her soft beautiful body.

I called to her "Eva don't do this; believe me I love you dear.... please give me one more chance, my darling!"

She turned to me and smiled.  "Adam, my love, you came for me; I knew you would.  You are my true and only love.  But you will never let me have you to myself and for that I cannot live happily."

She raised her arm and now in the moonlight I saw the glittering cold steel of a revolver clinched firmly in her hands.

I shouted "no my dear, please...."

But it was too late.  A brilliant light projected from that instrument at her hand followed quickly by a thunderous ear-shattering clap.

I was immediately blinded, falling as I reached out to save her from herself.

It seemed as if an eternity passed and I awoke abruptly, gasping for breath.  As my eyes began to focus I immediately was delighted with the image of Eva above me smiling down on me, her tender hands gracefully petting my hair as she hummed "Adam my love never worry, I will be yours for eternity."

I smiled, "she's alive; oh yes, she is alive, my dearest is still with me," I thought to myself.  I felt a pulsing warmth course over my body as I looked into those beautiful eyes.  I tried to rise up and tell her "I love you."  But my nerves could not translate my thoughts of love into words across my lips.  I now found myself short of breath and yet simultaneously at peace as her image shimmered and faded above me.  And I felt the greatest ecstasy of love I've ever felt as a blissful sleep then fell upon me there in Eva's lovely arms.

You know it's not that bad here.  You get plenty of rest, no stress, and thank God I'll never ever have to fill out any more insurance paperwork or FMLA forms.  And she visits me at nightfall each Halloween and often at other special times.  It's funny, in my past life I could never satisfy myself with just one woman and her timidity kept me on the prowl.  Yet on that night it was as if my soul transposed with hers and changed my shy Eva into an erotic sexual animal.  Now, on those cold nights when she visits "her eternal love," her naked body is all I need to be satisfied as she mounts me from above and makes love to my eternal soul.

"she visits my grave when the night winds wail.

Nobody knows, nobody sees; nobody knows but me..."

from "The Long Black Veil" often performed by Johnny Cash