Ryan's Repeats - I Only Know They Want Me

I seem to be on a Shannon fetish this month, which is a fetish that is never really too hard to be on.  You know in my last "Repeat" post I mentioned how my Shannon story seemed to go on and on.  What was going to be one maybe two posts ended up being 13 + an eventual "post-script."  I left the story alone for awhile and then I had to return to the beginning.  What I really enjoyed about these three posts (part I here and part II here) is that these posts are cobbled together from the discussions we have had over the years.  I was not there when these events took place but the weird thing about living with someone for so long is that in spite of the good and bad you really get to know them. Even though I was never there it was so easy to write because as I did write I felt I was there as if a shadowy figure in the background of her life waiting for Shannon to get to me so we could move forward in life.  In that vein it mirrors our current life where I tend to be a shadowy figure in the background of her adventures!   :)

 

Anyway, after seeing a concert with our girls Shannon and I were talking about the first concerts we attended back in the day.  I immediately started conceiving a "pre-quel" series to my Shannon story and here is the ending to that.  I also tried to be a little more explicit in illuminating the person that I have live with for these past many years.

 

 

Ryan's Repeat
from October 15th, 2012............

As I was thinking about this intro I was reminded how much Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd remind me of us (Shannon and I) in that movie Knocked Up. I think they are in another movie together as a couple. Shannon is just like Mann's character, hot but very bitchy. And of course I am just like Rudd's character just trying to be stupid enough to be left alone! I think I need to do a post about that thought some day.


One of the things that is so dad-gummed attractive about Shannon though, beyond the fact that she is gorgeous, is her sense of style. She is always wearing the right thing, eating the right thing, using the "in" cosmetics or hand creams, and she has great taste in music. Whatever she is doing it's gonna be the same thing the "in" people are doing in Vanity Fair or the New Yorker or any of the other places she finds out about lifestyle. Of course that means our styles clash as I get my fashion and style from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour! It helps, though, that she and I both work in industries that keep us connected to the younger generations and of course now our girls keep us in the loop on new music.

As I've indicated before Shannon has always had a sweet tooth for good music. She is in fact a great musician in her own right with a great voice and still can tap out beautiful notes of Debussy on the piano. One of her favorites has always been Perry Ferrell whether it was with Jane's Addiction (hence lyric title above) or Porno for Pyros. I think Ferrell along with Nine Inch Nails were her favorites in college after going through the Duran Duran and later Depeche Mode fazes in high school. But today she is still really into music. I know we were in San Francisco a few years ago and she came back listening to Foster the People a full year before they broke on the east coast. I remember hearing that song Go Outside on her IPod long before hearing it on XM radio. That Shannon, she is so gorgeous, so stylish, so cool; I guess that is why everyone falls in love with her. It's just so bad that, as I think I said in a post once (jesus this blog is getting long, it's damn near impossible to find these things anymore), she is "fool's gold." Another less PC term would be biyatch but my momma taught me never to use words like that! :)

Anyway that's just ramblings, today is my final episode of ......

Shannon's Story - The Prequel, Part III

As always if you are new to this blog part I of Shannon's story (my wife) is (here). These are posts written by me with my best attempt of writing about our life through her voice. Except today is not part of our life together, it is my best attempt to show you a little about her life before me. You'll just have to trust that I've learned enough about her through our conversations over the years. Part I of this prequel story (her high school years) is here.

Shannon speaking......

My relationship with Anders slowly fizzled through my junior year of college as we lived in seperate towns now. By the end of the year I really didn't care. He was going nowhere fast and I was far to busy to worry about it. I was doing well in school, had a job at a Chili's, and was very active in school organizations. Those last two years of college flew by. During my senior year the only thing I could think about was a next step toward graduate school. I applied and got accepted to a very prestigious university. But money was going to be an issue and I didn't want to go back to my dad to bail me out once again. I decided to work a little and save until I could pay my own way.

Graduation was a bit of a reality check. The past two years had been very successful but with a degree in Liberal Arts the corporate world was not exactly beating a path to my door. But I did have my job at Chili's and after a few months I got a receptionist job at a local publishing company. Not exactly what I wanted but it was a start and all was really good just then. I was making money, had free time, and most of my friends were still around in school.

What was also enjoyable about this time is that I didn't have a boyfriend. Since I was a sophomore in high school I had always had one but now I enjoyed my independence and felt no need to give it to someone else. But toward the end of my senior year I met Troy.

In some ways Troy was a big departure from the guys I had dated before. Troy had played football in college for two years before getting injured. I can't quite describe what he was like. At times he was such a dumb jock and I soon found he drank and smoked way to much (and by smoked I mean illegal substances). I should have hated him. But again much of the time when it was just he and I he was very smart and sweet. He was also very funny. I guess mostly I liked him because he adored me and I think perhaps I needed that at the time. I guess part of why it is so hard to pin him down is that I don't think he knew exactly who he was. At times he was the jock, at times he could be that brooding intellectual writer, but more often than not he was simply a slacker. But part of me enjoyed the fact that I was not trailing behind the "music guy" to some show, I was taking the reins.

I hate to say it but as time went on Troy just irritated me. But I was not in school and spending time didn't cost me anything (at least philosophically as it really did cost me most of the time as I was working and he was not).

But as I have often experienced life dictates your moves. After about 6 months on the job I was laid off at the publishing company. I was distraught. I had just graduated with a 3.6 and I was already out of a job. Troy and I went to the beach the following weekend just to get away. I thought it would cheer me up. As we sat in one of Troy's friend's apartment (Troy was from the beach) he laughed at my plight. His laughter was not so much mean-sprited as it was clueless. He said "I've been fired plenty of times, who wants to work anyway."

I guess that was his plagued way at trying to cheer me up. But it really hit home for me. This guy doesn't get it. I have dreams and they don't include sitting around smoking all my tip money from Chili's all day. By the time we got back I had had it and resolved to change my direction and change to a path away from him. I mean really, I was not put on this earth to support a dead-beat guy who's only ambition is to get a six pack and a bag of pot and maybe hit the bars later. But for now, I let him hang around; I really didn't have any better guy alternatives at the time and he was still occasionally funny. I had my girl friends from school as well. I have to admit one night, after too much red wine, we all had a philosophical discussion about the merits of converting to lesbianism. It seemed plausible at the time if my luck with guys didn't turn around!

The next week I found an ad for another receptionist type job. I interviewed and got the job. The people there were really nice (in fact I still consider the lady that hired me a true mentor). This was a big company and this particular location for this company was supposedly a "marquee" account; a place where they trained managers that were supposed to be "high achievers" and would some day move on to running their own accounts. That didn't really make an impression on me at first as I really just needed a paycheck.

What did impress me though after a few weeks of working there was one particular manager. He was a bit goofy and distant. But people seemed to think that of all the manager's at this account he was the one most likely to succeed. I found myself finding reasons to interact with him. I would go get coffee when and where he got coffee and would find ways to engage him in conversation. He seemed so different. He was always kind and considerate and would always be talkative with me but he never seemed to hit on me like most guys would. I thought I was

sending out a vibe but he was a completely different vibe. Again, he was nice but always a bit detached as if he was always "on stage" or "in work mode." He was a professional, he had a career; I was not sure he would be interested in someone like me. He had both feet in the corporate world and I still had a toe in the grunge world of Troy and my college friends. The funny thing is that one of my friends, Staci, knew this guy (the manager) and he had made a half-way attempt at asking her out once. That never came together but she said he was cute and nice.

Anyway, his name was Ryan and in spite of his goofiness I thought he was kind of cute.


to be continued (maybe)......