Or You're Riding High in April, Shot Down in May.....
Actually life is pretty good for me just now. In fact perhaps too good. I'm transitioning into a new role at work and that has left little time for other life endeavors. So in that regard while the blog was riding high in April, with my 400th post, it is now a week into May and I feel shot down with nothing much to really say, blog-wise. But don't feel bad for me I've gotten what I've been working towards for 20+ years, perhaps more. I remember way back in the 90's I'd say proudly to anyone who'd listen (mostly Shannon) "I'll be a **** by the time I'm 35." If you've read my blog (the Shannon stories) you'll know I fell a bit short of that some 10 years ago. I came to this little hamlet outside of DC with my tail between my legs. But slowly I worked hard and now I'm moving into a position I scarcely could conceive of back in those boastful 90's days.
But who wants to read about Ryan and work. I wasn't that interesting back in the 90's when I was working all the time and I doubt I'll be much more interesting if I return there now. So it is with that thought that I must again decelerate my blogging. I'm going to wind down from my current 6 posts/month pace through the summer and through the end of the year. You'll still hear from me occasionally, I just need more time to have adventures or observations worth reading. Yes Sandee is still around and we still have the occasional adventure that I must write about soon.
|Martha the model|
|so down to Earth on camera|
It felt very comfortable writing this faux reply to Martha's profile on Match.com, as if I knew her and knew just how to write to her. After all, in a way, I feel I do know her and what drives her and the type of man that might inspire her. To Martha (at least in jest) I can be that man because this is in fact just a silly blog post about an imagined faux letter - something I do often in this blog. It would be wonderful to write that letter to my Martha (Shannon) if I could only be that man to her. My paradox is that while I've become that man here on the blog and on AM to her I am still trapped in the image of the man she knew 10 and 20 years ago.
But as Frank so eloquently put it "that's life....
But don't worry I do agree with Frank when he goes on to say in the song:
That's life (that's life), I tell you I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly
Please re-enjoy my response to Martha Stewart's Match.com profile. And take a look for some geographic hints at the end! :)
from May 23rd, 2013......
My big news today is something I heard about a few weeks ago.
Martha Stewart has entered into the world of on-line dating!
Yes selling her special line of towels at J.C. Penny's, pots and pans at K-Mart, potpourri on Oprah.com, or aroma therapy pillows at Ikea is apparently not what she wants anymore! She wants to be out here among us riff raff and see what she's been missing.
And I just can't miss this chance.
So here is how I'd approach Martha if she was on Ashley Madison or I was an available 60-something bachelor on Match.com! This will be tough. I'm tempted to ask her how she likes Appalachia but I don't think her last trip was not so kind to her. But from her jail cell she probably did not get a good flavor for this part of the world so I want to bring it to her now.
You know I've been wanting to give y'all a taste of the Ryan Experience so here it is. I do have a similar concept on the back-burner. I created a faux Ryan account on AM some time ago and was going to invite my readers to read and wink at it in trade for a special message. Maybe this will tempt your interest.
Here are some notes from Martha's profile:
“So while I’m open to all kinds of people, and love to be surprised, here’s what I know I appreciate in a man: Someone who’s intelligent, established, and curious; and who relishes adventure and new experiences as much as I do. Someone who can teach me new things. A lover of animals, grandchildren, and the outdoors. Young at heart.”
And here is my letter to Martha:
Ah Yes Martha - the good life; we all aspire to that, don't we!
So yes Martha I'm so glad this really is you. And can you believe it, this is really me - Ryan Beaumont! I'm established and creative as only creativity could have attracted 113 followers to such a silly blog. You did say you wanted fun too, right! Well since we are both here let's create an alternative third place beyond home and career where we can enchant and beguile one another along wondrous exciting adventures that raise that heartbeat and stimulate the imagination! While I see your note on faith is "I'll tell you later," I'll tell you mine is sharing experience and hospitality and making others happy and fulfilled. Particularly all my furry friends who would love to meet you some day.
Yes, I see you are fun and adventurous. I'd offer to "Fly You to the Moon" but I'm not "Old Blue Eye's" so how about I offer you a quick plane ride down from ISP to IAD and we'll take an Appalachian Waltz in this Appalachian Spring. I have so much to show you.
With a brisk hike up to a scenic overlook we can view the intersection of two rivers and three states and view a historic town where the course of America pivoted. If you still have energy we may walk down to that town and glide above the trees. From their I can take you along country rodes to a quaint and historic boutique distillery where we can refresh ourselves with a Peach Bellini. If that only wets your thirst for our landscape we can continue down our beautiful vineyard trail and enjoy a delightful Ice Nebbiolo. Let's pair that with a hot and fresh baguette and some Raspberry Goat Cheese. Of course we are both "foodies" so after that we must enjoy the best of outer Beltway cuisine. In my mind I see us at a delightful restaurant converted from a historic mill and draped with our area's most beautiful Magnolias. We must enjoy the fresh heirloom Roma tomatoes in a wonderful Caprese Salad and maybe I can tempt you with one of my favorites shrimp and grits; they do it so well.
You might think me ADD but really I just have a great deal of energy and a lust for life. I like to stay on the go whether it's kayaking on the river or biking along the C&O.
But I can slow down enough to talk about literature or history. Perhaps we could compare ourselves to Holden Caulfield or imagine ourselves as Huck Finn. I enjoy being challenged and don't mind alternative points of view. And most of all I love to cook with or for someone special.
So there you go Martha, my adventurer, let's prepare a fine cuisine together - I can't wait to see what we come up with. True I'm Southern genteel to your NYC sophistication. But perhaps I can show you how to baste a Cornish game hen on a grille with a berry infused honey barbecue sauce and turn an Arnold Palmer into a John Daley and you can show me how to turn a average table into a showcase and together we can learn from one another and more importantly be young at heart.
And though I am not Old Blues Eyes nor can I "Take (You) to the Moon," surely we can "fill (our) hearts with song" and "swing forevermore..."
I hesitate to write this but extra admiration credit to anyone who can guess the locations I'm talking about. Trust me, I'm not outting myself because I don't live exactly in those places. Or do I, that might be a good red herring! :)