Monday, March 21, 2011

Indiana Wants Me, Lord I Can’t Go Back There

Shannon’s Story – Part IV

This is part IV of a series of sub-blogs written from my best attempt at writing from my wife’s perception of our life together.  If you are reading this blog for the first time I would request you go to the beginning (here) and start reading or go to any entry that looks interesting but don’t start here as this entry is a bit of a diversion from my previous direction.  The start of Shannon’s story is (here).

I have been using music Shannon likes for her story thus far.  She is an 80/90’s alternative lady.  But here I couldn’t resist.  The song above is a one hit wonder from the early 70’s.  I have noticed over the years that Classic Radio sometimes has subtle differences from region to region.  Indiana Wants Me is a song that I heard fairly often in the Mid-West (and occasionally on satellite) but never in any other part of the country.  I’ll leave a clip at the bottom of this entry (please take a listen), it is very chivalrous.

Shannon speaking….
I joined Ryan for one of his interviews in the Mid-West.  He was meeting his potential new boss. At the time I noticed that this new boss, Brent, was very striking.  He had that classic Minnesota/Scandinavian look with steely blue eyes, blond hair, tall, strikingly professional, and very serious looking.  Of course that image quickly faded along with the image of any other attractive man one might see in the mall or at a restaurant.  But my road and Brent’s would cross again one day.

As I said before, Ryan and I never resolve anything we just move forward down the road of least resistance hoping that some meaning will come to the surface.  So with that I found myself moving again.  I had the laparoscopic surgery the previous summer and had just completed six months of medication so my window of opportunity for pregnancy was brief before the specter of endometriosis would stir again.  So in my mind I would get pregnant within six months and hope for the best, if not I guess it would be divorce and back to mom and dad.  Ryan did his part of course, why not!  Sex had mostly been absent for six months during treatment so for him this was good luck.

My career track was both lucky and unlucky.  All I really wanted right now was to be a mom.  However, I got a job in marketing with the same company Ryan was working for but at a different location.  I had to drive an hour each way to get to my office.  The drive was torture and I often cried the entire drive.

Happily I did get pregnant after about three months of trying.  Being pregnant and preparing kept my mind blissful and we also bought a house so for the moment I was content.  And of course nine months later we had a beautiful daughter so things were OK for now.

I was not excited to go back to work.  The thought of leaving my newborn daughter each day was exasperating.  Additionally, my boss had recently gotten a promotion and I did not like my new boss.  I held out for one torturous year.  Ryan and I fought constantly about money and what would happen if I stayed home.  To Ryan we would be on welfare, to me I had to ask what is the price of happiness?

Finally Ryan relented and I quit my job and I was happy.  I guess the thought or “negotiated solution” was that I would find something part time and more local.  Everything with Ryan seems to be arbitration L

What really saved me and was the justification that finally convinced Ryan to relent about my job was that I was again pregnant.  About two years after our first daughter was born we had a second daughter.

One thing Ryan and others have always said to me that has always made me mad is “you are great at finding jobs; you will always land on your feet.”  Of course that is always said in justification for some move.  That being said, things always seem to land on my lap.

So just as I was excited to become a “stay at home” mom or at least “gleefully underemployed” a great career opportunity came my way from an intriguing source.

And although the next year would be pretty good within the family I didn’t know at the time that the die had been cast for the next phase of my life.

to be continued…..

1 comment:

Jack said...

Interesting stuff