Testing the Waters

OK, so my profile has been started and I am ready to look for someone looking for someone as kind and interesting as me!  Again, using Facebook skills I can sort of quickly see how to search.  Of course AM makes it easier by displaying 4 prime options in your locale at the bottom of the screen each time you sign on.  In my case DaddiesGirl and BoardWife don’t look too attractive.  In the middle of the screen I see search criteria.  OK so let’s look for women from 29 to 45 and within 20 miles.  Hmm, again I hate to be choosy but if I am going to risk my marriage I certainly want it to be for someone in the same looks range as me!  I pride myself on being humble, but I am 6’ and at the time weighed about 185 (vanity requires me to say that I am down to 172 as of today) and have all my hair.  So let’s call me at least average looks.  Additionally, I said I live in the DC area but it is a really small town so maybe I need to broaden my parameters.  Just to the right of these search criteria cells I see a link to “advanced search.”  And that is where you find the beauty of Ashley Madison.

You see AM cuts right to the chase.  There is no PC on AM, you can get right to the point just like George Clooney said in Up in the Air “I’m like my mother, I stereotype, it’s faster.”  So now I am looking for women who are 5’2” to 5’10,” weigh 100 to 150, are attached, and live within 50 miles.  You can select by race, smoking habits, and some other criteria.  In my case I just want sex not a life together so why would I care if they smoke and I’m a left of center kind of guy so I am certainly open to diversity.  My wife, who btw is beautiful, is 5’6” and weighs about 125 so I use her as a measuring stick.  OK so this starts getting us places.  Unfortunately not too many pictures on profiles and I also get to thinking, I would drive 100 miles for a great looking lady so I further the search.  Oh wait, I did say I was doing this at work so I guess I should probably wrap this up and do something I am actually paid for.  Anyway we are going on vacation Monday to Mexico for a week on the beach so maybe this all should wait for now.  I do notice a lot of women from Harrisburg, PA (I think I can get away with that without revealing myself).  One lady really catches my eye.  She is Fire Emerald and she has a beautiful picture of herself sitting seductively on a couch with a cute strapless sun dress and a wonderful smile.  She is 36, brunette with what appears to be hazel eyes, has a nice tan, and is 5’5” and 125 pounds.  And I love her caption “well here goes.”  That is exactly what I was thinking.  So I see I can contact her in a number of ways.  One free way is to wink, I like free!  I check the help button and see all I have to do is wink and surely she will check out my profile and be interested!  So there you go, I wink and the hunt begins.  Except that tomorrow is Easter and Monday I will be gone for a week with little internet access so our story will have to wait for now.