Saturday, August 11, 2012

Trying Hard to Fight These Tears, I'm Crazy Worried

As many of my dear reader's know I live near our nation's capital which allows me to have my fingers on the pulse of the many salient and most controversial debates that face our nation.  In the past I have commented on the Salahi break-up, the dissolution of the union between Bibi and Poldi (the eternal tortoise couple), and the congressional change to styrofoam coffee cups.

But today I have to comment about a really big topic.  No topic in recent history has challenged my moral conscious to this degree I must admit!

You see I LOVE Chick-fil-A.  And I don't mean I just love it, I frickin' live for CFA Sweet Tea.  I worship their perfect blend of buttered bread, sweet pickles, and breaded poultry.  Hell, I never even ate Cole Slaw until I tried it at CFA and now I love it.  I am a disciple in the truest sense of the word.   And OMG, what bad could be in any entity that could conceive of something as perfectly orgasmic as a Banana Pudding Milkshake!

Recently though controversy has come to my beloved CFA.

You see there is no better way to finish off a CFA meal than with a slice of their wonderful Lemon Pie.  But to my horror a few months ago I discovered that CFA was removing Lemon Pie from their menu in lieu of a more portable dessert for our transient culture, the Chocolate Chunk Cookie.  Now I am not against Chocolate Chunk cookies, I enjoy them as well but I'll be damned if I want to face a world without Lemon Pie.  This is the type of thing that enrages me.

Btw, what better way to echo my rage and angst than with those title lyrics above to the recent and cogent "teen anthem" Determinate by Lemonade Mouth!  Geesh that bass player is HOT.

So I am asking each of you to temporarily and silently protest the removal of Lemon Pie from Chick-fil-A's menu or better yet write to your congressman or the President of CFA and ask for the return of Lemon Pie.

But in the end regardless of what happens do what makes you feel good.  If you like Chocolate Chunk cookies go to CFA and buy them, more of your money will be going to that local "owner operator" anyway than to the CFA President in Atlanta.  CFA's "owner operator" business model remains one of the few ways someone can break into the restaurant business without being a millionaire.  However, if you are loyal to Lemon Pie go somewhere else like Best Pie Company and move on, selling your convictions with pride to your peers and positively advocating for your views.  I will likely continue to visit CFA.  In the end I can't give up my beloved Sweet Tea and I will just be left with the fond memories of many slices of Lemon Pie.

Make Sweet Tea not War!
Oh wait silly me I do seem to recall something else, apparently there is some other slight "tiff" involving CFA so I'll comment on that little minor dust-up as well, though it pales in comparison to the Great Lemon Pie Debacle.

OK so why does a chicken restaurant get into the Marriage Equality debate and furthermore why does it have to get in the way of my passion for Lemon Pie!

Oh heck who am I kidding I write a blog called the Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad who cares what I have to say anyway!  :)

My little tongue in cheek allegorical commentary on marriage equality is like this clip below from one of my all time favorite movies (please watch the last comment at the end).

In this clip think of Crazy Mel as those folks running across the desert (or in our current case to CFA) to stop Gay Marriage.  Crazy Mel's friend catches up to the Camel Driver (in our case Ryan the crusty old married guy) and exclaims if we don't stop them there they'll soon be here!  To which I say (well watch the clip, I think you'll get it).

You see my analysis is this, I am for social justice so I don't see why I, as a straight male, should be subjugated to the misery that is marriage while others get to be exempted out.  If homosexuals are bent on marriage equality I invite them generously to the misery!  I say what the Camel Driver says in the clip "they're welcome to it!"    :)

And 10 years later there is always Ashley Madison, I think they do same sex as well!

1 comment:

Same sassy girl said...

I'm not into chicks, never been to a Chick-fil-A. I'm so glad you posted about this important issue! Here I thought it was about... chicks. And all the time it was the PIE!