I'm Looking for Someone to Change My Life

The Best of the Rest!

or of those that never were....

As you have probably noticed I am a prolific listener of XM Radio's various channels.  Now, after three years of blogging, I get the dual pleasure of often hearing songs I have used as lyric titles.  I can't tell you how many times I've almost leaned over to whoever was in the car with me (Shannon, Sandee, other) and said "I used that song once in my blog...."

The parallel to that is when I hear a song and think "dang I should have used that song for my last Sandra (or Keeley, or Riff Dog, or Shannon Story) post!"

Well, as I've found out in writing this blog if you are ever lacking in things to write about just re-write about what you wrote about once before!  Maybe this time it will come out better.

Today what I want to write about are the songs I've been collecting in my mind that I perhaps should have used the first time I wrote about something.  These are more of my "Best's that Never Were"  but are now not because I'm rewriting what I should have perhaps written in the first place if I was better at writing at the outset.

*    But first what of that lyric title above.  Well I have long been a fan of the Moody Blues.  I heard them at an early age and have fond memories of them.  One of their biggest hits was Question and I think the answer to their question "I'm looking for someone to change my life," is quite the metaphor for Ashley Madison as we all seem to be here looking for some new direction or looking for the solution to the inquiry "how did I get here?"  And more importantly, "how do I get out?"  Of course always remember the "someone" you should look to first to change your life is YOU, but it does help to find a conduit to the new you (via AM).

*    As I wrote about my first fruitless attempts at communicating with women on Ashley Madison I chose to use a song from the Sex Pistols (Anarchy in the UK) which stated "don't know what I want but I know how to get it."  I guess in reality it was quite the opposite.  Clearly I wanted sex but hadn't learned how to endear myself to Metro DC ladies yet.  Perhaps I should have used a lyric from another early 80's Brit Punk Rocker (turned a bit pop for the MTV generation).  Adam Ant wrote "desperate, but not serious" which would have been a great depiction of my attitude back in April, 2010.  In fact the whole song is a good advise column for AM "if I ask you difficult questions, if I make improper suggestions, would you find that a risk to your health, would you put me on your bookshelf."  Or another good bit of advise, "if I were kind and adoring how would that be? Very boring."  Yeah, ladies like exciting and not overly needy, but don't be improper - all good advise!

But with AM comes failure.  As I've said in my blog if you meet 1 in 10 ladies your are doing well. Of course that means a 90% failure rate but as Yes said once "your's is no disgrace!"  Because as they go on to say "lost in losing circumstances, that's just where you are."  Which of course is why you are on AM.  I also like the lyric throughout the song "silly human race," which is certainly true. We are pretty much here because we are silly and this is all silly so I guess we should just try to sit back and enjoy because in 1,000 years nobody is going to give *rap about all of this anyway!

The moral crisis, a FWB or kinky/crazy?

*     Of course AM is like an odd Kabuki theatre with dancing around the paradox of experience.  As Jimmy Hendrix wrote "Are you Experience, have you ever been experienced... I have."  Of course do we admit this on AM.  Every women I ever communicated with essentially asked that question.  What is the right answer?  Yes, I'm experienced and so you don't have to worry about me "wigging out" as I'm a great FWB.  Or does yes mean I'm a slut?  Is no the right answer, "no out of the hundreds of women I looked at, your profile so inspired me that I knew instantly you were the one for me?"  Hmm, sounds like a tripped out fairly tale on crystal meth; where is Breaking Bad when you need it.  Of course I don't have the answers as the right answer to those questions is always in the mind of that lady receiving the message and Lord knows the eternal question men seek has always been wtf is going on in their heads?!  Maybe you should write like one of Jimmy's other songs and just talk about "butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales, that's all she thinks about."  In the end it's probably just a flip of the coin anyway!  :)

*     I hesitate to say this as I don't think it is fair to take my relationship with Sandee to this level but at any of the various times we have been at a crossroads where either of us has questioned why we are still doing this I also have to ask this lyric to myself (as I have always done when listening to the song), "if our love's insanity why are you my clarity?"  Yeah, Zedd has that one dead right.  And from reading a lot of blogs out there I think this song would speak to a lot of us.  Wow, "you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need..."  Yep, that hits home.  Who is Zedd you ask?  "Zedd's dead baby, Zedd's dead." Sorry, just had to throw in a quote from Pulp Fiction that didn't relate to this point in the slightest but I did love it when Bruce Willis said it.

*     Once I found success on AM I certainly did gain confidence.  It is of course paradoxical that to have success on AM you need confidence and yet many of us have arrived at AM because we have endured soured relationships that of course have soured our confidence.  It's hard to deal with that but you must.  Perhaps you should just seek out that Joe Jackson song "I'm the man" before you write that first AM letter.  You'll feel better and the confidence you have will more likely yield a result like the one I enjoyed with Alecia which of course gave me the confidence to have other successes.  The song continues with "pretty soon, I gotta make a comeback."  Yeah, I made a nice comeback with Alecia!  Maybe Joe Jackson would have been a more "guyish" to use than the La's (which is what I did).

*     I hate to be snarky but sometimes it gets tough dealing with Shannon.  As I have told her "a lot of stuff bothers you (Shannon)."  It's true, as she say's herself "I have a low tolerance for stupidity." Unfortunately stupidity takes on many forms in her eyes including not folding laundry properly, not coughing properly, watching too much football (e.g. more than 15 minutes), paying too much on the credit card (rather than saving for vacation).  I wrote about the paradox I felt between who I was on AM vs. who I was at home.  I used one of my favorite songs of all time by REO Speedwagon.  But, perhaps, I should have been a little more bitchy and used those Transvision Vamp lyrics "you better tell that girl to shut up."  Yeah, being bitchy is not a good thing but it does feel good from time to time!  But don't worry I'm too polite to tell her to shut up.

Of course I think a lot could be better between Shannon and I if not for what Kenny Loggins once said. Yes, I have often looked into Shannon's "Angry eyes."  "Blindness binds us in a false disguise....."  Yeah, it's funny how you find that every thing is wrong when you look at the world with angry eyes.  I wonder if angry eyes are savvy illuminators of injustice or in fact an excuse to not trust anybody and thus the blindness that keeps us apart.

I think the fact is that too often we are looking for a hero in our mate and as Gordon Lightfoot says "the hero often fails."  Lord knows from my Shannon stories I have failed often.

*     There is nothing better than the feeling you get when your affair partner totally gets you and is completely turned on by what you do for them.  I got this with Sandra and it made me feel great.  For that post I used a catchy little lyric from one of my favorite bands the Pixies (Here Comes Your Man).  But perhaps I should not have been so nimble; as hard driving lyrics from those talented Cannuck fellows Loverboy would have worked much better.  On that afternoon with Sandra "the kid is (was indeed) hot tonight!"

Btw, as I write this I get a crazy desire to start an urban legend that Riff Dog was in fact Mike Reno, famous lead singer for Loverboy.  For some reason I see Riff in a bandana and red leather pants!  :)

*     Oh, and finally here is a great thought from Queen:  "keep yourself alive."  Of course that song is a cautionary tale of keeping yourself alive when temptation is everywhere.  I love the lyrics "I've loved a million women in a Belladonic haze..."  Had to go to Songmeanings.com and yahoo answers to learn about that one.  Apparently it is about the poisons of excess.

Anyway, be careful out there and no matter what make sure to find people who change your life in positive inspiring ways because as Bob Seger wrote "these are the memories that make me a wealthy soul" but for Christ sakes

Keep Yourself Alive!

P.S., I can't help cut and pasting this as well as hopefully this is the soundtrack to all our younger lives.  I never used this song in any of my retro posts but I probably should-ah!

"Stone In Love"

Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth
I do recall, those were the best times, most of all
In the heat with a blue jean girl
Burnin' love comes once in a lifetime
She found me singing by the rail road track
Took me home, we danced by moonlight

[Chorus:]
Those summer nights are callin',
stone in love
Can't help myself I'm fallin'
stone in love

Old dusty roads, led to the river
Runnin' slow
She pulled me down, and in clover
We'd go 'round
In the heat with a blue jean girl
Burnin' love comes once in a lifetime
Oo the memories never fade away
Golden girl, I'll keep you forever