"I thought we signed up for the same thing... I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis"
* Firstly - It's my bloggoversary (sort of)! Yes eight years ago, two days ago, I wrote my first blog post (here)! I had no idea how long I would go but it certainly wasn't this long. It's been a lot of fun and as Forrest Gump once said "I'm pretty tired, I think I'll go home." Yes, I'll probably do one more post to make it an even 500 and then I'll probably do as my gran-dad used to say "call in the dogs and piss on the fire," for as those Supertramp lyrics say "I must be moving on." I may drop in on occasion but at some point you've got to realize you don't have too much more to say on a given topic and I've probably already said too much! :)
* Nextly - Since I minored in English and enjoy thinking about words I don't know how to use, I always like to use this time to say a word about the word of the year. This year the word of the year is:
Oxford - Toxic Dictionary.com - Misinformation
These are good words for me and this blog. Finally a word that describes the reality of this blog, misinformation on how one should react to marital frustrations and the resulting pursuit of infidelity through "married dating" social sites and how to avoid the potential for toxic outcomes. But really, aren't we so through with misinformation and toxic environments (along with other recent words of the year words like complicit and post-truth)? I really want to get back to a time when we had meaningful words of the year like:
Well I think the best way to be complicit in moving past toxic misinformation in a post-truth world is to think about good things. And the best thing to think about at this time of year is -
* the real point of today, Lastly
Which is -
JZ's Annual Bloggers Holiday Cookie Post
Divinity - A True Southern Delight
Ingredients:
1 Cup Boiling Water
3/4 Cup Light Karo Syrup (btw, for Southerners there is no other corn syrup!)
3 Cups Sugar
Pinch Salt
2 Egg Whites
1 Cup Chopped Pecans
48 Pecan Halves, which in Mississippi you can usually just get in your back yard!
1 tsp Vanilla
Instructions:
* Heat water, Karo Syrup, Sugar, and salt to a gentle boil at 234 degrees (measure w/candy therm)
* Separate out egg whites from eggs into mixing bowl (eggs should be at room temperature), beat/spank egg white vigorously (ask JZ how to do this) until frothy or turned on.
* Add 1/2 of syrup to egg whites in mixing bowl, whisking constantly.
* Continue heating remaining syrup to 270 degrees or until "crack" stage and by "crack" I mean candy, you won't be smoking this!
* Pour "candy"/syrup mixture into egg mixture bowl, whisking constantly until high gloss turns to dull and let cool.
Not the Beaumont Mansion!
* Fold in chopped pecans and vanilla into candy mixture.
* Drop candy by spoonfuls onto wax paper.
* If candy sets too fast add a drop of remaining boiling water to make creamy as you spoon onto wax paper.
* For garnish, add a pecan half to top of candy just before it sets.
If you want a visual on this, JZ was good enough to alert me to a YouTube video on making Divinity, How to Make Real Divinity - The Hillbilly Kitchen. This is a little different recipe but that Cream of Tartar is a good idea whenever making a meringue type recipe. And I do like the idea of the Hillbilly Kitchen as this is real Southern!
Most people think about snow and the North Pole at Christmas. But to me, growing up, Christmas was always about traveling south passing through Chattanooga, Birmingham, and Jackson in route to the most southern place in the world - Vicksburg and walking into my grandma's home where there would always be plates of fudge and of course Divinity.
Please check out our other cookie makers today!
Hi everyone,
Thanks again for playing along. (I love you guys!)
Here's the link list for you to include in your post.
I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with! :-)
"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice; Hope you find your paradise. Tried to see your point of view, Hope your dreams will come true......" "Oh, I'm leaving, I've got to go...."
Early Decision
Early Action
Priority Scholarship Deadline
Reach and Safety School/Access Institution
Flagship Institution
Successful Academic Progress
Matriculation
Expected Family Contribution/FAFSA
First Time in College
Big $'s but engaged faculty
Spring to Fall First Year Retention Rate
Six Year Graduation Rate
Mid Career Median Salary
Full Freight
Net Price Calculator
Cleary Report
Over the past year and a half the family and I have been on an arduous journey visiting 15 colleges and universities in six states and DC trying to identify where our eldest will take her next steps in life. Along the way we have learned, on the fly, a new language one has to become familiar with to gain entrance into this new world of academic higher education. Granted, I've lived my whole life around higher education. In fact two of my all time favorite posts have been about colleges and college towns.
However, everything certainly seems quite different as a parent and seeing all of this through the eyes of my daughter.
As cool when football sucks?
Getting a job is what is most important so is the mid-year median income of that school's grads the most important factor? But if they don't enjoy college they will never make it to graduation day so maybe spring to fall retention for "first time in college freshmen" is most important? They are in college to learn but if they don't like the food and where they live they won't be happy and won't be able to focus on their studies so maybe Princeton Review's rating of "Best College Dining Services" is important. And if the food sucks on Saturday night is she going to need a lot of extra $'s for Chipotle? That could be a big $ suckage! Classes are Monday through Friday but if they are lonely on the weekend they will want to come home and won't build an affinity towards the campus and thus won't progress towards graduation so maybe campus life is kind of important (and dang I sure would like to see Zedd for Homecoming). But then again, it really is about learning so how connected are the faculty to their students, will Professor X really know who she is, and are there really great experiential learning opportunities beyond the classroom because that is what she really wants. Study Abroad, should we be interested? And then what is all this about Title IX, the Cleary Report, the Dear Colleague Letter; I thought this little college town seemed so safe? Is safety really important? Probably is and can I really believe those reports on the institution's web page? Maybe I should be reading "College Confidential" blogs? She wants to go far away to a sunny place for college, what are the hidden costs we don't now foresee like flights home over fall break? And OMG, I live paycheck to paycheck but the Federal Government (FAFSA) thinks Shannon and I are doing fine and dandy and will have no problem signing $50K checks to good old Fancy U (google EFC)!
Oh wait, we have to get into these schools first!!!
S-A-F-E-T-Y, Safety DANCE!
That one with the great median mid-year income for graduates has a 30% acceptance rate. With her grades and SAT she only has a 50/50 chance of getting in. Can dance and Early Decision put her over the line. Yes, Early Decision that big one chip gamble on the college of your dreams. Early Decision, Early Action, Application Deadline to be considered for merit scholarship; so many strategies to consider. We have come to understand and rue the tangled web of decisions needed in today's murky world of college applications. If she doesn't get into her dream school what school can she get into that will make her happy and won't cost a ridiculous sum of money to a school with lesser cache! It's one thing to lay out $65K to an Ivy League school but I ain't paying $65K/year just because they have a ropes course and Taco Tuesday on the Quad! Although now that I think about it I would like to visit and enjoy that Lazy River myself, why didn't they have this stuff when I was in college!
Anyway, because of our life and lives this process, though stressful, has to a degree become a collage of our entire life. We started off where Shannon and I first met and got to re-experience what we loved about that place. We visited my Big State U. We finished our long magical mystery tour two weekends ago at two schools that are in the heart of where our girls have come to love. Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party was a way to put a smiling enjoyable exclamation point onto a somewhat scary, apprehensive process that in the end is what we've all been looking forward to for a long time.
Chipotle @Union but suitcase campus
But as a parent this is very tough. I have spent the last 17 years of my life trying to take care of this individual. Now, as we face college, I understand that going forward for the rest of my life there will be more days I don't see her than days I do. Though heartbreaking its also exhilarating to imagine what her life will become.
In the end all you can do is hope you've established firm ground for your kids to start life upon. Dang, I am glad my younger one loves Big State U as much as I do and doesn't want to go anywhere else so we don't have to go through all this BS again. I'm done!
"Tell everybody I'm on my way and I'm loving every step I take. With the sun beating down yes I'm on my way And I can't keep this smile off my face......"
Our family has an ongoing joke that our girls can never get a straight answer from Shannon and Ryan on what we like in a restaurant. It always ends up going into a full on Travel Channel styled debate on quality control, menu selection, service, and value. But we enjoy it. Shannon of course just wants the best food and a great glass of Pinot and isn't worried about price. For Ryan though, enjoyment (as with many things in his life) is always a bit nebulous and grounded in value. Meaning, Ryan loves a good Filet Mignon but would rather have a great $25 filet with pretty good service over an $80 orgasmic filet. Well maybe Filet Mignon is not a good illustration as an $80 velvet textured filet that you can spread with your tongue is a rare and beautiful thing like other things that are so tender you can spread with you tongue. But anyway, any answer from Ryan on "do you like this place daddy?" is clouded in price vs value, along with presentation, choices of sides, service, and other accouterments that nobody (and certainly not my daughters) care about.
Anyway, a few weeks ago we found our way meandering through Orlando with a few hours to kill ahead of boarding a homeward flight from ORD to BWI. Orlando means Disney and Disney is a second home to my girls. On a quick count I believe we've been to Disney (Cali, Florida, and cruise included) fifteen (15) times since they were born. Wait, this past time was probably the 16th and I'm probably forgetting one or two. Anyway, we are addicted to Disney. And because I'm who I am and we are who we are and this blog is what it is, I am addicted to determining the best, most efficient, and affordable way to enjoy Disney and then to, of course, blog about it.
What you end up with a happy environment, a warm atmosphere, solidly good food not at Victoria and Albert's pricing, and a free show! Who doesn't like free, especially at Disney. Doesn't Irish music and those quick footed Irish dancers just make life seem great!? And when they are so close to you and so cute, all the better (dancers and musicians)! At our last visit we got to see these dancers and the Briste Band who are one talented group of cute Irish lassies! Yes, during your visit you will laugh, cry, drink, maybe be kicked, maybe fall down from too much drink but you will leave full and happy.
Chicken Pot Pie - YUM!
So Raglan Road comes out punching for pleasure from the time you sit down. First tasting action is the amazing Irish soda bread with their special Guinness Dipping Sauce that, with the beer and Brown Sugar, is delightfully tangy and sweet (just like those quick stepping dancers)! I would definitely consider an appetizer at this place. There are many to choose from including salads and some great seafood (and yes they have wings if you just can't break free from your Yankee ways). We like the Smokie City which is a creamy baked haddock spread with potatoes and tomatoes enjoyed over crispy toasted baguette. By now Shannon half way through her first glass of Pinot. Ryan does have to bail on authenticity here as he has never been one of those bitter brown beer dudes. I admit I have to punt and do a lager. For the true of beer connoisseur Raglan Road does have beer flights and true Irish imports.
If you don't have a big appetite, many of the appetizers and salads can sub in for center of the plate. Shannon loves their Irish Egg, the scallops on the appetizer menu can make a meal, and if you are a little too chichi, fru fru, or simply Continental you can go with their Goat Cheese terrine with shallots and shiitake mushrooms over mixed greens.
Ryan is not a real heavy eater so when I'm going to Raglan Road I try to not eat all day and save up for some real gluttony. I am simple and love the Chicken Pot Pie (often a special) or the Guinness Beef Stew. The pies are warm and hearty with the savory mushrooms and Irish root vegetables making the dish as much as the main protein feature. The creamy filling in contrast to the crisp scratch pie crust creates a delightful distinction yet balance to your palate. You have to have the Colcannon Mashed Potatoes as a side. I'm not a big veggie eater but the fresh bacon & almond roasted brussels are a rare way to get me to eat those typically nasty things. The parsnips are nice and Irishy too! Be careful the portions are mighty! The Roast Chicken will feed a small army and if you have your kiddies along they do make a decent burger. If you do feel like you have to experience tasteless Brit food they do have the obligatory fish and chips and bangers and mash (or in Raglan's case and booze).
Dessert is a Irish drama as there is so much to choose from including Fluffy Lemon Clouds, Sinful Chocolate Smothered Cake, Tart Berry trifles, and apple crumb cake. I'm always a sucker for bread pudding so that is typically my desire. But no worries you can go with a min-dessert flight which is typically how the Beaumont's roll. If you are not merry enough yet pair that dessert with a Bailey Irish coffee or a silky smooth port.
By now you are full of food and full of drink and dance, nothing can get you down; even if you have to board a plane and go home.
So next time you are a Disney and you don't have an eternity of money (or time) then just click your heels, say Erin Go Bragh, and head over to Raglan Road and enjoy!
"May you always have...
Walls for the winds
A roof for the rain
Tea beside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
Those you love near you
And all your heart might desire."
And enjoy the fact that while food and spirits may not be the meaning of life they sure do give meaning to life!
I started this post about a year after I started my blog but have never used it. It's lived on a flash drive in my office desk in dormancy. And now, as I am determined to bring this blog to closure and am in dire need of content, I am bringing it out. In my first blog entry I wrote that my fantasy job would
have been a sportswriter.I do think I
am a decent writer.I minored in English
in college and did write sports for my high school and college newspapers.My English minor was in technical writing
though so with that and coupled with my training in the 5 W’s and H from
Journalism I tend to be an efficient writer specializing in a bullet pointed “less
is more” style.This blog has given me
the chance to expand myself to flesh out the writing in order to build
characters and stories. When I started writing the blog I first wrote in a Word document. At one point I realized that the Word doc was over 100
pages, well on its way to being book-sized!
I think I also mentioned in an earlier blog entry that I had
some ideas of stories that I had partially written in my mind over the
years.So with that in mind I would like
to throw out one of my story ideas here for some critical feedback.Now that I know I have the ability to produce
100+ pages of junk, why not take a stab at a novel!
To set the story line up I will say that this was inspired
by personal experiences or perhaps more accurately thoughts and feelings.Several years ago while mired in a career
crisis in the Midwest I had the opportunity to
interview for a job at my alma mater.This was a perfect job and I knew I would be a good fit.Furthermore a former boss who hired me out of
college at another business was now at my alma mater and would be my bosses’
boss at the university if I was hired.
This was a slam dunk, a done deal in my mind – Shannon and I
were already thinking about what schools our girls would attend, what
neighborhood we would live in.It was
very exciting and a rare escape from an island of discontent into a truly
better world.
So I prepared and prepared for the interview.I psyched myself up and nailed the many
interviews I had over the course of a full day.At the end of the day I was talking to my former boss who I considered
to be a mentor and friend.I just
casually asked if there were any internal candidate as it had not been
mentioned beforehand which tends to be professional courtesy.He said there was an internal candidate but
nothing had been decided ahead of time.Of course my mind raced, I had spoken with ever person involved with the
operation – which one was the “internal?”There was one guy about my age who was very professional and seemed very
motivated and energetic.In fact I had
connected with him a bit.He had a young
daughter, about my daughter’s age and was a single dad (where the mom was did
not come up obviously).
Of course that ended up being the guy who got the job.I was beyond crushed but I couldn’t help feeling
a bit happy for the guy.This was the
opportunity of a lifetime for him and would set him and his daughter up for
life.Such a strange and difficult
paradox to deal with on a personal level but I am always intrigued by paradox.
And so some time later as I pondered my feelings I
envisioned a movie around this storyline.Of course just interviewing for a job and not getting it is of no
interest to anyone.But throw in
anticipation, desperation, aspiration, dejection, anger, sorrow, love, hate,
fear, yada, yada and you have the makings of a murder mystery story around this
same plot.Of course I will change scenery,
names, careers, etc. to make it more interesting.And of course I am not really crazy so I have
never actually thought about making fiction reality here. JBut I do think it is a good story idea.So what follows will be my attempt to put
that story into an initial script outline so to speak.
By the way, I'm a little late to the game now that Netflix has scored big with Last Chance U. I am a total addict to that show as it hits close to home.
Fourth and Long (or Two Minute Warning):
The Background:
Dalton Drakeford is the archetypical All-American guy.He is from Santa Cruz, CA.His dad, Duke Drakeford (“Double D” to his
friends), was a legendary high school football coach from the area.Double D was famous for being ahead of his
time for his high energy, wide open, throw it all over the field style
offenses. Dalton
was his greatest quarterback.Dalton was all everything in high school and went on to
play quarterback and star at NorthernCaliforniaStateUniversity
(mythical).He had a great career and
was All-Conference and Academic All-American.He did get some pro try-outs but in the end although “mobile and cagy – the typical coaches son”
he was a bit undersized to make it in the pros.But that didn’t matter because as his dad told him “it’s time to move onto your life’s work.”And that was to be a coach, the path he
always knew he would take from the day people started calling him “Double D
Jr.”Additionally he was now engaged to
his college sweetheart Katie.Katie is a
beauty from Northern California as well and
was majoring in Elementary Education.They
were excited to start a life together eagerly awaiting the path of success that
undoubtedly lay ahead.
Hell-a-Good Hair Coach T as DD Jr.
Early on Dalton
and Katie’s life charted according to plan.Dalton
stays on at NCSU as a graduate assistant while Katie finishes school.
Note:underpaid graduate assistant is usually the
necessary entry into college athletics and even at that you usually need to
have connections to get that first opportunity but of course Dalton always had plenty of connections.
Could be Katie or cute adviser from LCU
After Katie and Dalton finish
there degrees Dalton gets that first full time
opportunity as a position coach at OmahaStateUniversity
(mythical) in the Mid-West where his old quarterback coach at NCSU had gone to
become the head coach.Life away from California is difficult but Dalton
loves being fully dedicated and Katie knows this is the sacrifice that needs to
be made to get Dalton
started on that career path that will undoubtedly land him that Pac-10 coaching
job by his mid-30’s.For the meantime
Katie is content to be a wife and a kindergarten teacher and of course she is
excited to plan for the family she dreams of.
Dalton
becomes somewhat of a guru on recruiting in the Mid-West, particularly that
great JUCO talent base throughout the Plains.Over the next 8 years Dalton moves three
times to progressively better jobs and eventually is the offensive coordinator
at TexasPanhandleState
(mythical) a top notch FCS school.He is
now on the verge of being a head coach.But upon sending out feelers about some head coaching opportunities at
the D-I level he gets feedback that his biggest detriment is that he has never
been the “top guy,” that he needs
some actual “head coaching experience.”Isn’t that always the catch how do you get
the job when you can never get the experience.
On a whim a colleague suggests he go interview for “that opportunity at OklahomaPanhandleJunior College.It’s a solid if not great program with great
potential.If you can turn it around
there it will build your resume and give you that experience you need.With your energy you should be able to turn
that program around in 3 years and be on your way.”
So Dalton
and Katie are now off to a small town in the Oklahoma Panhandle.At 32 now Dalton is not exactly a youngster but this
should get him at least a “Mid-Major” head coaching job by 35.And then it would be on to the big-time.
Of course the best laid plans don’t always work.Three years turn to 5 and Dalton is still at OPJC and the turn around
isn’t as easy as it seemed.And now he
is not the up and comer, he is starting to be the guy who can’t get things
turned around.It’s not that the team is
awful; it’s just that a 27-23 record over 5 years with no bowl games just
doesn’t turn heads.And for coaches on
the fast track as they say “just win
baby.”So the big time slowly gets
farther and farther away like the tide going out after midnight.The folks in the OPJC community do love Dalton and Katie and they
would be welcome there indefinitely.The
good side is no pressure here for championships; the downside is when do you
let mediocrity become satisfactory.
But as Dalton starts
preparing for spring football again he sees that the Offensive Coordinator at NorthernCal
has just left to take the head coaching job at Colorado Tech.And Dalton
knows that Coach C at NCSU is near retirement.The guy that gets that Offensive Coordinator job now might be on an inside
track to being the Head Coach in just a few years.Yes, these are the fates determining his
direction.Dalton calls Coach C about the opportunity
and they have a great conversation.Coach C is glad Dalton
is interested and encourages him to apply.
Soon after the call Dalton
gets his chance to interview.He and
Katie are ecstatic.They begin earnest
discussions on what neighborhood to live in, where are the best schools.Dalton’s
mom and dad are cautiously optimistic but all are happy.
The interview goes well although Dalton is a little underwhelmed by the
reception at NCSU.Coach C was certainly
glad to see him and asked a lot of questions about Katie, the kids, his dad,
etc.It was more like a family reunion
than an interview, should he be worried about that?The team of assistant coaches, while certainly
cordial and respectful, didn’t seem really excited to meet him.Perhaps he is just being conceited.He did leave NCSU 13 years ago, for most of
these coaches he is just a name on the wall of letter winners and just another
guy trying to score a great coaching opportunity.A few days after the interview Dalton has a follow up
call with Coach C and he finds out that one of the offensive coaches he met (Jim
Bergsten) has also applied for the job.Coach C says “nothing has been decide
yet and that nothing is a slam dunk, I’ll be in touch in about a week to keep
you posted”
Of course one week turns to two and then two and a half and
finally Dalton
calls Coach C.Apparently the job was
offered to Jim and they were working out the details.Coach C is sorry and says he was going to
call later in the week.He says he
wishes he had 2 jobs “because we would
love to have you on board.But with your
experience you will land something soon.Best of luck to you and stop by whenever you’re in town.”
So there it is the dream over, no plan B – only reality back
to Western Oklahoma.But how does one feel when your dreams die - sad,
angry, happy for Jim (he did seem like a great guy), glad we don’t have to move
the kids half way across the county (rationalizing)?
The main point though – one guy, good or bad, stands between
Dalton and the
life he had dreamed of since he was a boy!
Dalton
goes back to work, spring football starts in one week but this year he has
little motivation.He is all consumed by
the lost opportunity – his lost opportunity and how to feel about it.
Then one night he has the dream.In the dream he travels back to NCSU and
removes the road block, the guy standing in the way from HIS life.Just a little accident, something that could
easily happen on one of those windy Northern California
ocean-view drives.And with the road
block removed, he is back on track.A
horrible act to be sure but one deal with the devil and then a lifetime making
up and enjoying the good life he was destined for.
Main Cast:
Dalton
DrakefordLuke Wilson
Katie DrakefordElizabeth
Banks
Duke DrakefordScott
Glenn
Coach CBruce
McGill
Jim BergstenPaul
Rudd
President NCSUJames
Cromwell
Story Progression:
The story would be in medias res.The opening scenes will be set in a
dream-like sequence just after Dalton
has apparently acted on his dream.From
there, the story will alternate between the recent past to include the lead up
to the interview, the rejection after the interview, the planning of the act,
and then the act alternating with flash-backs to his life growing up,
in-college, meeting Katie, playing at NCSU, and his coaching career through his
years at OPJC.
Ultimately at the end we are brought back to the present
which will be just after the act.There
will be another scene where Dalton
wakes up from a dream in a pool of sweat and we will be left to wonder if the
entire story of the act is in fact a dream.
The story could be left there if you want an Indie-style
movie.Perhaps sirens sounding in the
background or a police officer at the door and we are left to wonder if he has
been caught.
For a Hollywood ending Dalton would wake up, realize it was
a dream, realize the thought is horrible, and then go off to practice feeling a
bit better while breathing a sigh of relief and determined to “gut it out and persevere like his dad
would.”
Once at practice his assistant would say “good mornin’ coach, hey coach, there is a
message for you from Bobby DeLoss at Colorado
Tech.” The assistant says, “isn’t he the new coach there?He must be needin’ some quick fixes from the
JUCO ranks, you think Jefferson or Marshall (OPJC players) could play at the
FBS level?”
Dalton
walks slowly to his office sighs and then dials the number on the note left on
his desk.The secretary at the CTU
football office politely answers and says “Hello
Coach Drakeford, Coach DeLoss was looking forward to your call, he said put you
through as soon as I hear from you.”
A few seconds later the husky but energetic voice of Coach
DeLoss answers the phone “Coach
Drakeford, thanks for calling!Hey, I
was just on the phone with Coach C up at Northern Cal;
you know I worked for him over there!He
says I need to be talking to you about the new offense I want to put in here at
CTU!I know you were disappointed……
(conversation continues but slowly fades away).”Dalton
slowly turns in his seat while listening to look out of his office window onto
the OPJC football field as players in practice uniforms make there way onto the
field.
…..Dalton:“Sure
Coach DeLoss, Katie and I would love to visit CTU when would you like to see
us.”
1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)?
*forced feminization is the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women, to make him submissive. For example: wearing lingerie, heels, make-up.
Does drinking Pinot count? In my old age I have started to enjoy ballet and musical theatre but that is about as far as I go. I am a left of center dude but the emphasis is on dude. I don't have any desire to walk around looking like a woman or wearing uncomfortable clothing, though I sure like looking at women and being with women! I will say that in high school Journalism class we had a project to create commercials and my group was developing a line of "male cosmetics" (e.g. 80's hair metal type stuff). When we shot the commercial I was the preppie guy. It actually was pretty fun and Shannon was in my group. Not my wife, the other Shannon. As for the other stuff I did swim competitively so I did develop a liking for extremely tight clothing but a speedo is not women's lingerie. Speaking of swim wear, did you realize that if you are a woman you have to pay for a bottom and a top when you buy a two piece swim suit? Yeah, I was paying for a bikini for my daughter and found out about that little fraud, as if I was going to hold the line on one piece or the other with my daughter! The things you learn when you raise girls. So I guess I'm pretty boring - sorry. But I just a regular guy as the blog says!
But in all seriousness I'm not into roll play, I'm into being me and the person I'm with being them and if that works then that's the best for all.
2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?
Yes, but I'm from the South; I'm never cruel just kind. It just seems a tad discourteous to spank someone and then stick your finger in their bum and call them a nasty name. Think of me as John Edwards, a little devious and deviant but always with a kind smile on my face!
3. Tell us your hottest, sexiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less. This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals or are societal taboos.
I have never really had physical fantasies, rather place fantasies. For example sex along a mountain stream or in a sail boat. Sort of like green eggs and ham: "I would screw her in a boat, with a goat, in the rain, or on a train." Wait, train sound pretty sexy but with a goat? I'm not that trailer court! So I go to conferences and at a lot of these conferences there is always a vendor showcase. At my little conference MTV usually has a table and there is always a demo-table for one of those restaurant order apps. These groups always have the hottest girls to attract us stupid middle aged guys. These girls know how to flirt and get us interested in their product. So I have a fantasy that one of these girls asks me up to share a bottle of Pinot and a hot tub and you know what follows. The only problem is that if anything like that actually happened she would whisper sweetly into my ear "let's go upstairs and watch some Netflix and chill," to which I would say "cool, I need to catch up on Stranger Things." Yeah I would probably fail at that intra-generational fantasy!
Ryan and Wonder Woman!
4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why? a. Aquaman b. Superman c. Wonder Woman d. She-Ra
Easy one, I still fantasize about Wonder Woman; I mean Lynda Carter! She is just so good and true and could lasso me and make me tell the truth. Hey does that qualify as a form of kinky BDSM!?
5. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.
Ryan and Kate getting a latte
I guess to the extent that we see a video or a post that gives us that inner twinge of a yearning, the answer is yes. I was watching the Talented Mr. Ripley just the other day and remembered how much I've always fantasize about Kate Blanchette! She is so nerdy sexy and I'd love to be her little Frodo and show her a little Elfin magic!
Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.
I can do it in 2 - Stephen Colbert
————-
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!
"Sail on by. Your time has come to shine all your dreams are on their way. See how they shine. Oh, if you need a friend I'm sailing right behind."
Bridge Over Troubled Water was released in January, 1970 and became, perhaps, Simon & Garfunkel's most consequential song. If imitation is the greatest form of flattery then the song is substantial in that it was later covered by Aretha Franklin and Elvis Presley (who both offer a more gospel perspective on the song). The song is beautifully written, beautifully sung, and beautifully produced, being influenced by and pulling from elements of the Phil Specter Wall of Sound Wrecking Crew. The soft piano at the entrance and through the first two verses that ultimately bleeds into the dramatic orchestral bridge give peace, joy, or solace to whichever mood the listener is in. That bridge leads to one of the more apparently introspective third verses in popular music and one of the more pressing questions, "who is Silver Girl?"
Originally Paul Simon intended the song to be two verses. Simon's producer convinced him he needed a third verse to support that big histrionic sound at the end. Simon then quickly penned a third verse in the studio somewhat on the fly. Apparently the Silver Girl reference was a simple mischievous jibe at Simon's then wife, Peggy Harper. Harper had been recently perplexed by premature grey hairs. Simon had playfully created the nickname "Silver Girl" for her. That third verse became his simple hope for her happiness. And thus a simple, off the cuff, playful reference ends up being the frame to a more meaningful purpose.
That song was a central focus of an award ceremony I recently attended at my daughter's school. The recipient of the school's annual alumni service award cited that song as a passage that had given their family solace in times of personal crisis. She was quite eloquent in describing her love of the school and how the school and the familial relationships she had developed with faculty, alumni, students, and other parents had truly been a Bridge of Over Troubled Water many times in her life and thus the song was emblematic of those feelings of connection.
As I listened her wonderful speech I reflected on my life. As I often do I reflected on choices I have made and what they represent to me. And of course how I could make meaning of them on this blog.
Recently a freelance writer contacted me and I did a brief interview for a piece she may write on Ashley Madison. I'm not sure if she will use any of my feedback. She asked the typical questions: does your wife know? what would she think if she found out? why did I first go onto the website? what attracted me? what still attracts me? I'm not sure I gave her good answers but it did give me pause for reflection.
Over the past fourteen years a wonderful historic river has been ubiquitous in the background of my life. I see it from my office. I run across it and along it on afternoon runs. I hike along its banks on the weekend. I've kayaked along it many times with my wonderful friend Sandee on lazy sunny spring afternoons. Running along the river is the C&O canal a 180 mile trail from Cumberland, MD to Georgetown in DC. The C&O is a serene bypass or perhaps a frontage road to the river just slightly to the north and below those highway bridges above the river. There are many historic and beautiful bridges that ford the river for travelers. While the river is mostly tranquil, rarely troubled, those bridges take travelers past the river and onward to where they are destined. And for those not so much in a hurry and in need of a detour, the canal is truly a calming third place escape from those troubled waters of life or towards one's "dreams along the way."
Life does have many troubled waters and, as with that eloquent speaker I so enjoyed Saturday night, the communities we make help us ford those waters. In my life my daughters are my bridge, my work is my bridge, the school community I have come to love and enjoy serving are my bridge. I take pride in knowing I matter in my community, that people consider what I have to say relevant. I enjoy working in my yard and seeing balance and beauty along the flower beds rimming our house. I love that so many birds and sometimes woodland critters find food and shelter in and around our deck and porch. The fact that our family "matters" is a bridge over troubled water for me.
Ashley Madison has been an aspect of my life for several years now. For some it may be a bridge over troubled water or simply a bridge away from a troubled life. For me it was a silly chance encounter and one I did not anticipate. It was proverbially an off the cuff off ramp from an, at the time, tumultuous life. It has been a third place, a third verse, a detour, and a canal running along side yet never really crossing the river of my life. It is not a Bridge Over Troubled Water, much more valuable things are that for me. But the people I've met on AM and on the blogosphere have been a sunny day along the river, a pleasant detour, a convenient frontage road that has allowed me to drift off the highway for a few moments.
I hope I have been that for others.
"Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind...."
* Firstly - It's my bloggoversary (sort of)! Yes eight years ago, two days ago, I wrote my first blog post (here)! I had no idea how long I would go but it certainly wasn't this long. It's been a lot of fun and as Forrest Gump once said "I'm pretty tired, I think I'll go home." Yes, I'll probably do one more post to make it an even 500 and then I'll probably do as my gran-dad used to say "call in the dogs and piss on the fire," for as those Supertramp lyrics say "I must be moving on." I may drop in on occasion but at some point you've got to realize you don't have too much more to say on a given topic and I've probably already said too much! :)
These are good words for me and this blog. Finally a word that describes the reality of this blog, misinformation on how one should react to marital frustrations and the resulting pursuit of infidelity through "married dating" social sites and how to avoid the potential for toxic outcomes. But really, aren't we so through with misinformation and toxic environments (along with other recent words of the year words like complicit and post-truth)? I really want to get back to a time when we had meaningful words of the year like:
JZ's Annual Bloggers Holiday Cookie Post
Divinity - A True Southern Delight
