Thursday, December 20, 2012

It's the End of the World as We Know It

"and I feel fine..."

Just in case you have not noticed I can be a bit of a dingleberry.  As I was approaching today I noticed that my 300th post would coincide approximately with my 2 year blogoversary and close to the end of the world.  Kind of like a celestial event, an alignment of the planets thus forging a new age and shift in the poles.

There's that ego again.  Hey, I did have about the same topic at my 1st Blogoverary post (here).

Anyway, I was kind of thinking that surely the fact that I have generated 300 posts and had written a blog for two years was a sign of the coming Apocalypse.

Unfortunately NASA has apparently debunked the theory that the world is ending tomorrow.  Apparently tomorrow is the end of a Baktun, which to the Mayans was the end of a time period, kind of like New Year's Eve.  So in that respect I guess the Apocalypse is really just the Mayan hangover after the end of a Baktun party.  Go figure.  But just in case they are wrong I better get some thoughts out now.

I love!
Oh wait, the problem is, is that this is not my 300th post!  Here is where the dingleberry comes in.  I tend to write ahead and while this is in fact the 300th post I've written, I have several in the queue so to speak and thus this is only my 292nd published post (an unfortunate technicality).  I was reading the wrong number on my "posts" dashboard.  So in a way it's kind of like that Alanis Morrissette song "Ironic"

"It's like rain on your wedding, it's the 300th post that turns out to be your 292nd the day the world ends.... Isn't it Ironic; don't you think..."
Oh well, I guess I'll do like my 200th post (here) and give you my 300th post for the low price of 292!  You'll just have to trust me that I have 8 more posts scheduled.  That is if the world ends, if it doesn't I guess you'll get to read them later this month and next!  Hmm, maybe the world ending doesn't sound so bad now.   :)
So anyway what does one do for a theme before the end of the world.  I have thought and thought and honestly I got nothin'.  The only thing I could come up with is a subject I have not written on in some time and that is those crazy searches that lead to one's blog.  Sometimes the searches are so crazy you couldn't make them up.  Here is what I did once before on the topic of search results.
And so as we talk about celestial convergences, polar re-alignments, and other crazy things that might advance this world to the next age or just simply blow it up, let's talk a little about those crazy thoughts that link us together in this silly little cyber universe.  Or at least the naughty little worlds that link all you folks out there to my little blog and world.

So if you are just joining me I say welcome and my apologies in advance of your reading!  :)
All Time Top Keyword Searches Leading to Ryan (among others):
*     Ashley Madison theme song = 23,246 (this had something to do with Howard Stern a long time ago)
*     Ashley Madison Blog = 456
*     Regular Guy Gone Bad = 329
*     Ashley Madison Adventures  = 291
*     Riff Dog = 143
She is hot!
*     Vera Farminga Hot = 130 (I agree!)
Recent Silly Keyword Searches (with my comments):
*     Hot mens bathing suits gay ashley madison (hey is someone trying to tell me something here?)
*     Giselle Robert Enchanted erotic
*     Ashley Madison Band a big black cock (hmmm... mine is stout and white I guess they missed the mark)
*     How do I find out who unfriends me on Ashley Madison (hey buddy this is a cheatin' website not f'in Facebook!)
*     Dirty Secrets of Ashley Madison
*     Three Skinny Guys Flexing
*     Cobie Smulders without make-up
*     Ashley Madison Thunder Bay (there are women along the Great Lakes?)
Does look good sans make-up
Search Order Rank (from StatCounter):
*     Ashley Madison Regular Guy = #1
*     Why are all the men on Ashley Madison Ass Holes = #1 (hmm..., I guess the bling really do lead the blind if I'm #1 here)
*     Ashley and Me Blog = #1
*     Ashely Madison Riff Dog = #3
*     Ashley Madison Blog = #3
*     How to Act on Ashley Madison = #5 (I feel like Kat)
*     Ashley Madison Experiences = #7
*     Kat's Sex Blog = #10 (not sure if I should thank Kat or Kat should thank me)
*     Can any good come from Ashley Madison = #14 (great philosophical question?)
*     Ashley Madison = #21

*     And my favorite:
          Cute brunette wanted to tan a bit but she also wanted to have a wild sex adventure = #8

I really should send out a thank you to my blogging buddies as we always tend to stir the pot for one another.  Riff still leads my all time referring sites list at 6,644 hits though his count is not rising anymore.  Kat is second at 3,442 with Undercontract to My Wife third with 3,017.  So thanks to Kat and Mick.

And actually just in case the world does end tomorrow and I don't want to end on a lie this is actually just my 299th written post.  But who's counting the damn world is ending tomorrow - go out and have a blast!   :)



Anonymous said...

I will try and get my referral numbers up.

Kat said...

You are wonderful, Ryan! Great post!

P.S. Vera Farminga is WAY too skinny. Seriously.