Potomac Calls to Chesapeake

Maryland! My Maryland!.....

I have lived a good portion of my life in and around and adjacent to horse country.  I don't ride myself but my girls do.  One thing I've learned is that girls love ponies.  And girls who love ponies grow up to be ladies who love horses, and clothes, and parties, etc, etc.

I've also learned over the years that you can certainly find women who love sports but by and large many women won't LOVE sports as much as most guys.  In fact trying to get ladies to watch sports can often just get annoying!

Shannon speaking:

  "Why are they kicking the ball, geesh they only have to make 20 yards on that last down.  Why don't they just throw it to one of those big guys who just stand around trying to stop the people who want to tackle the passer-guy; nobody is paying attention to them."

I know I'm being sexist but really that is the type of thing Shannon would say when I'm trying to watch Big State U on TV.  So if you have a lady who likes the NFL, go ahead and enjoy Lambeau Field on a invigorating late November night just south of the Artic Circle.  

But if you don't, there are other options and the weather in the Mid-Atlantic is damn fine in late May!

In fact this time of year they have this thing called the Triple Crown that is horse racing.  Remember, ladies like horses!  Better yet, they love to party; and nothing is more of a "be seen" event than a horse race.

Around here we have one of those big horse races in Baltimore.  It's our big event and the ladies love it!  Which means you can enjoy sports and ladies at the same time.  It's called the Preakness or "the Run for the Black-Eyed Susans," which is the state flower of Maryland.  I know running for Black-Eyed Susan's is not a sexy as running for Roses, but you already have missed the Kentucky Derby! Anyway, you should try it.

My pick for the Preakness - Nyquist.  Triple Crowns tend to come in bunches.  The golden age of the Triple Crown was in the 30's and 40's with 7 Triple Crown winners over 18 years.  Then there was a 25 year gap until Secretariat won the Triple Crown in 1973.  Then there was a second golden age as Seattle Slew and Affirmed won Triple Crowns in 1977 and 1978.  Then there was another gap of 37 years until American Pharoah broke the drought last year.  Seems like a good reason to think this is a good time to have another golden age.  Exaggerator came on strong at the Kentucky Derby but Nyquist was solid and ran a very smooth race in Kentucky.  The Preakness is shorter so less track for Exaggerator to make up.  But the Belmont could be the tripping point!

Anyway, if you do watch and you want to cook out or have a party at your crib here is a great classic Maryland recipe to feature.

Classic Maryland Crab Cakes with Old Bay Horseradish Remoulade

Ingredients:

* 1 lb       Lump Crab Meat - cleaned

* 0.5 tsp  Salt

* 0.5 tsp  Old Bay seasoning

* 1           egg

* 2 Tbs    Miracle Whip

* 5           Saltine Crackers - crushed

* dash      Pepper

* to Taste Minced Fresh Parsley  

* As Needed - Crisco shortening 

the state spice of Maryland!

Preparation:

*     Whip egg gently until frothy
*     Combine Crab Meat, egg, and Miracle Whip together in mixing bowl gently, do not break down Crab Meat lumps
*      Add Old Bay, salt, and pepper; gently folding into mixture
*      Add Parsley to taste
*      Form Crab Cake mixture into 3 oz oval cakes.  Place in refrigerator to cool for 1 hour
*      Pre-heat iron skillet on medium heat on stove top.  Melt Crisco into skillet up to 0.5" depth.
*      Place Crab Cakes onto hot skillet.  Once bottom is crispy and brown, gently flip over
*      Cook other side for approximately 3 minutes

Old Bay Remoulade Sauce 

2 Cup      Mayonnaise

1 Tbs       Lemon Juice Fresh Squeezed

0.25 Cup Chopped Fresh Parsley

1.5 Tbs    Old Bay Seasoning

2 Tsp       Dijon Mustard or Horseradish Sauce or a little of both

Mix all ingredients together and let stand for 30 minutes

After party!

The state song of Maryland is in fact "Maryland, My Maryland" with lyrics set to the tune of "O Tannenbaum," just in case you thought you had heard the song somewhere else.  As with many state songs, it's a beautiful tune with rather creepy lyrics.  It was originally written as a rallying cry for Marylanders to rise up with the Confederacy and "spurn the Northern scum! (see last verse)"  It does beautifully capture the writers love of the state however his elegant prose are co-mingled with references to "warlike thrusts," "anointing throngs," and "crucifixion of the soul."  Come to think about it, it sounds like some scenes from the infield at the Preakness!  :)

And if you were wondering what was up with the strange state flag of Maryland it is a blend of the family crests of the Calvert and Baltimore families.

It's a Carolina Rocky Mountain Music Day

These days I often find it very hard to keep blogging.  But one thing that really keeps me going is how much I enjoy the posts that somehow have become an annual occasion.  Looking back to my posts from the start I believe my first post that has become an annual was my first "Foods of the Super Bowl cities."  It combines sports, food, and travel; all things I love

Here is that first Super Bowl post.

So now we find ourselves at Super Bowl L (or 50 for you Trump supporters who refuse to read anything that isn't written in American or if you read in tee shirt sizes).

I'm personally in a bit of a quandary on who to pull for.  My natural inclination is to pull for Carolina, as they are my 2nd favorite team after my Washington Native Americans (yes I'm a rare Washingtonian who thinks we should get over the name thing and move onto a newer catchier nick-name for our beloved team).

Btw my thoughts for new names are the Washington Beltway Bandits, the Capital City K Street Filibuster Kings, the DMW Pork Barrelers (where DMV stands for Delaware, Maryland, Virginia; not a place where you renew your driver's license), or maybe even the Inner Beltway Defense Contractors!

So I've always been an admirer of Peyton Manning back to the days he played for the Tennessee Vols.  I would love to see him go out a winner!  More importantly I am catastrophically afraid that if Cam wins we will be dealing with "the Dab" for several more years to come!

Anyway here is Ryan's 2016 Super Bowl XV "Foods of the Super Bowl Cities."

I'll start with what I know best, Carolina Low-Country cooking.  I love Low Country cooking, it is very similar to Caribbean and Creole because it fuses European colonial, African-American, and Native American cuisine.  It evolved along the coast of the Carolinas as well as the Carolina/Georgia Sea Islands.

Except the Panthers are not from the coast, they are from that Banking capital of the south - Charlotte, which is very different.  So rather than going with my gut I'll go with a more neo-classical/Mayberry'esque Central Carolina culinary choice.

To me nothing says Carolina cuisine (other than maybe Cheer Wine) than Pimento Cheese.

Btw, the best Pimento Cheese is not in Charlotte, it's in the Triad but we won't split hairs; Carolinians always irritatingly cheer whichever Carolina team is playing so it's all the same to them.

Spicy Carolina White Cheddar Pimento Cheese (or Carolina caviar as some say down there)

Ingredients:

1#          Extra Sharp White Cheddar Cheese
0.5 Cup All Natural Mayonnaise
6 oz       Canned Diced Pimentos (or cut to 4 oz & use fire roasted red peppers for spicy)
2 oz       Jalapeno Peppers
0.5 tsp   Sugar
2 pinch  Black Pepper
1 pinch  Salt to taste  Garlic Powder and or Onion Powder

*            Grate the cheese at desired size, I prefer a finer grate but do as you wish.
*            Slowly stir in mayo until combined with cheese
*            Strain canned pimentos and add to cheese and mayo.
*            Strain and add jalapenos, if you want to add spice you may add a little brine from can.
*            Add sugar, pepper, salt, garlic power, and onion powder (if desired)
*            Taste to insure desired flavor.  Add spices as needed.
*            Refrigerate for several hours, overnight for best results


Enjoy as a sandwich, as a dip on crackers, or even as a topping for a burger and with a Cheer Wine or better yet with Miss Cheer Wine!!!

Denver Green Chili (or Chili Verde as some say up there)

To me Denver doesn't just scream great food.  However, Denver is home to my favorite airport restaurant the Timberline Grille, which you should definitely visit if you are ever on a SWA flight through DEN!

But lacking some experience I reached out to one of my best blogging fan pals/resident Denver Bronco fan (nee maniac) for some direction.  Moira pushed me in the direction of anything with green chilies and that is cooked low and slow.  You may remember her, she joined me on a Denver related post a few years ago.

Ingredients:

1.5#       Pork Tenderloin or Shoulder
2 Cups   Green Chiles
1 Can     Diced Tomatoes
1.5 Cup Tomatillo Salsa
5 Cups   Chicken Broth
1            Large Onion
1 Tbs     Olive Oil
0.5 tsp   Oregano
4            Garlic Cloves, minced
to taste  Salt and Pepper

*            In a Dutch oven slowly heat whole pork tenderloin/shoulder with olive oil, salt, and pepper
*            Once golden brown on all sides remove and set aside, leave liquid in the Dutch oven
*            Slice the onion and add to Dutch oven with liquid, reduce heat to medium
*            Mince the garlic cloves and add to oven mixture, stirring in slowly
*            Cook until onions are soft
*            Slice pork into 1" cubes
*            Introduce pork back into Dutch oven
*            Stir in green chilies, diced tomatoes (w/juice), tomatillo salsa, and chicken broth (as needed given liquid already in pot)
*            Add oregano
*            Simmer on medium to low heat for 20 minutes stirring occasionally
*            Add roux to thicken if desired or remove 2 cups of "soup" (with no pork), strain, and blend in food processor, and add back into stew, creating ticker texture.

Serve as a chili soup, as a burrito filling, or over rice and beans garnishing with fresh cilantro.

I won't predict a winner because I'm always wrong, but Madden football says the Panthers in a close one.

Here is a Rocky Mountain song I really love for all those Denver fans:

And for those Carolinians, here is a song from two of our favorite Carolina musicians:

Smells Like Teen Spirit More Than a Feeling

Hey, does anyone know if Downtown Abbey is on tonight?  I like it a lot.  My wife loves it!  Which brings me to a moral dilemma!  What happens if the Super Bowl runs past 9 pm which I'm sure it will?

That dilemma formed a joke in my head based on an old Jeff Foxworthy schtick:

"If you are a guy and decide to watch Downtown Abbey over the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl you either gay or married!"  

Or in desperate need of a second TV.  Yes the Beaumont family (normally proudly so) only has one TV set in the home.

I've have been thinking long and hard on this post all week.  After all, Super Bowl foods are my longest running standing blog post theme going way back to 2011.  Look at the bottom for links to all my past Super Bowl food posts.

When I did start to think of the game between the Patriots and the Seahawks it sort of reminded me of those "old school" Super Bowls between Dallas and Pittsburgh way back when; two epic dynasties clashing at the apex of their greatness on the biggest world stage.  I mean this is big, kind of like Jennifer Anniston competing with Angelina Jolie in a Brad Pitt *ucking match, Nicki Minaj vs. Brazil's Miss Bum Bum in a big ass contest, or Russia vs. the Ukraine clashing over world wide web hegemony for internet brides!

And when you think about the competition between Seattle and Boston you think one thing - rock bands and coffee!  Well maybe that's two things and I guess I didn't include football either.  I do think Seattle has Boston schooled on rock anyway though (sorry Stadium Rock fans of Boston - you're way overplayed).  But actually when it comes to coffee New England just does outdistance the Pacific Northwest in coffee consumption but it is an epic clash!

But it goes even deeper than that with respect to coffee.  Seattle and Boston are not just a clash of passionate coffee aficionados they are, in fact, a clash of culture and style.  But who comes out on top?

In one corner of the ring we have Seattle, the brazen newcomer to the coffee world order.  This is the team that reinvented coffee and made the $4 cup part of our lives and taught us that small, medium, and large should really be tall, venti, and grande.  Yes Starbucks, founded in 1971 as a coffee roaster and then translated into an Italian-styled espresso cafe is bold, brash, and over-roasted.  With over 20,000 stores world-wide Starbucks is the largest coffee retailer in the world.  By putting a store on every other urban corner, like the Seahawks Starbucks will run your ass over and make you wonder how you got through two flights, three meetings, and four conference calls on one Grande Pike Place roast!

Yes, the over roasting of the coffee doesn't taste quite right.  You can't figure out wtf the logo is all about, "are those mermaid tits I'm looking at?" "No, that ain't a mermaid" you say, "it's a Siren?"   Wtf is a Siren and who names their business after the first mate on the Pequod?  You mean I have to read a classic novel about a whale to get this?  Too difficult.

And speaking of those Seahawks, who ever said dark blue, grey, and techo-puke green look good together.  But I tell you what those Seattle teams are so damn efficient it doesn't really matter how shitty the coffee tastes or how ugly the uniforms look; they will get you jacked up on a caffeine or a weak side blitz so quick your head will spin and you'll gladly plop down your $5 bill and get on with your life because they have RYanne's half caf/half chi soy macchiato down in 15 seconds (you do realize Starbucks baristas misspell your name on purpose).   Seattle also gives you multiple looks on defense and even more multipler blends of coffee!  Pike Place, House, Veranda, Yukon, French, Sumatran.... Omg, I just wanted coffee; I don't care if it's single origin or has notes of floral and herbs!  Well you better think quick and decide the line's moving as fast as a Richard Sherman pick-6, so out with it.  Wow, I think Seattle may move too fast for a slow witted guy like me.

In the other corner of the ring we have traditionalist Boston and it's beloved Dunkin Donuts.  Sure it sounds like they have nothing to do with coffee but in fact over 60% of Dunkin's annual sales come in the form of hot beverages and any New Englander loves that smooth medium roast of South American blends.  Yes Dunkin does in fact use Central and South American beans and gives them that medium roast that brings those beans to just the right slow and easy symphonic caramelization!  It is in fact that Medium Central/South American blend that most Americans grew up with at McDonalds and your average diner that served S&D coffee.  So that is why we probably feel so comfortable with their coffee and the Patriots in the Super Bowl every other year.

No, Dunkin' wasn't founded by Sam Adams and Paul Revere but starting in 1950 in Quincy, Mass it is rather colonial compared to it's Western rival.  And much like those football Patriots Dunkin is smooth and orderly.  No crazy mixtures here just one blend; a series of smooth Tom Brady short passes to Gronk and Amendola, meticulously progressing down the field in an orderly New England democratic fashion ready to meet the day.  If Seattle is bold and brassy, New England is elegant and refined in it's traditional austerity.

At just over 10,000 stores world-wide Dunkin is not quite as deep as Starbucks but they are very efficient.  I love the fact they put the cream and equal in the cup for you but don't misspell your name on the cup, try to sell you a kookie CD of Euro jazz, or try to confuse you with all those drinks that sound fantastic but are just various versions of coffee shots and steamed milk.

OK, so there you go, my football analysis of the two best coffee towns in the country.  How will that play out on the field.  I say Boston's smooth blend produces yards and first downs but Seattle's strong roasts keep the ball in front of them and keep the score down.  That ass kicking over-roasted running game of Marshawn Lynch will inevitably wear down the Pats.  I say Starbucks Seattle wins in a lower scoring game about 24-20.  I say the Pats score on one trick Coolata play and get a penalty for trying to change their football from a Grande to a Venti without the refs noticing!  :)

Btw, here is a big Ryan gripe; I hate it when people say "oohhh, I can't drink a latte; it is way too strong and way too much caffeine!"  I'm always thinking "you fool, it's a shot of coffee and steamed milk; it ain't as strong and not as much caffeine as regular coffee!"  I know, I'm a coffee snob.  But speaking of coffee the two best coffee blends I've ever tasted are Tanzanian Peaberry and Jamaica Blue Mountain.  Normally the coffee "cherry" has two seeds.  When only one seed is fertile then it develops without the other to "flatten" it.  The resulting Pea berry is more flavorful than the normal bean and produces a better coffee.  Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee is so frickin' good it's the flavor base for Tia Maria liqueur!

Ooops, I just realized just like my sex posts with no sex, I've managed to write a food post without food.

But first I would be remiss without commenting about the team cheerleaders.  I have to say the SeaGals are just a tad hotter in my book, I think I like Brittany and Lisa Marie the best.  Lisa Marie wants to be a Pastry Chef and I think secretly wants me to be her Sous!

Well, I guess I better go ahead and do a recipe after all.  So have you ever wondered what to do with all those dang grounds after drinking all that coffee?  Did you realize those little specks of black dust can be useful?  Yes, they can actually make great fertilizer for stuff like tomatoes.  But if you just don't feel like brewing those grounds you can also use them for a dry rub
BBQ!

Coffee Dry Rub BBQ

Ingredients:

6 Tbs          Ground Coffee

2 Tbs          Coarse Salt

2 Tbs          Paprika

2 Tbs          Brown Sugar

2 Tbs          Coarse Black Pepper

2 Tsp          Onion Powder

2 Tsp          Garlic Powder

1 Tsp          Coriander

Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl until evenly mixed.  Rub mixture down vigorously over and into your favorite meat and let stand for at least an hour before slow roasting.  Now if you are Ryan and your favorite meat is, well you know!  Don't rub this mixture vigorously onto your meat; dang that coarse salt and pepper would hurt!  Rather, rub this onto a nice Pork Butt or maybe even a Boston Butt if you are a Patriots fan!

Have a nice Super Sunday!  If you need any Super Bowl recipe ideas here are my past Super Bowl Foods Posts:

2011 - Packers vs. Steelers

2012 - Patriots vs. Giants

2013 - Ravens vs. 49'ers

2014 - Broncos vs. Seahawks

I Wanna Be a Billionaire So Frickin' Bad

Hey it's a Super FFF'n Day

So head over to Three Spelling Mistakes

and join in!

Thing 1 and Thing 2!

I for one am not really officially joining in today as I have another task at hand (see below).  But it is a nice picture and it reminds me of one of my favorite authors who's influence I hope you see permeates my prose that I do a quick paraphrase so.

Then he got on my couch

with a tip of his beer.

"I call this game fun with your cock,"

said that cat Ryan right here.

With your cock you can do two things

and that I will show you how.

You will like these two things,

I will show you now.

What I have in the next room I like to call

Thing One and Thing Two

These things like to suck cock

they like to go down.

And at the mention of that upon the couch

Oh my did two things come with big tits attached.

These things were in fact Thing One and Thing Two.

And if they did not suck cock I'd be fine just *ucking those racks

They said "how do you do 

do you want your cock sucked 

by Thing One and Thing Two."

And who was I to turn down that which was offered.

And I of course knew not what to do

So in fact I let my cock be sucked

by Thing One and Thing Two

They sucked and they sucked

but then oh my Shannon did say 

"those ho's shouldn't be in this house, make them go!"

They should not be sucking your cock, even if I would not!

Put them out put them out said Shannon

and zip in that cock
And so with a frown I did zip up my cock
turned on the game and grilled up some brats

Oh my that was kind of fun for quick and sloppy!

But as you can probably tell by my lyric title I have a post that is going to talk about the big Bruno Mars concert this Sunday night on TV.  I think there is some kind of game going on also. But Bruno does drop the "F" bomb when he sings those lyrics with Travie McCoy.  But I think I'd prefer another Janet Jackson costume malfunction to that!

You know along with music I also like food.  In that song Bruno says "a different city every night oh I swear the world better prepare..."  So in light of that I'd like to take some cuisine from two random cities - like say Seattle and Denver and show them to you here.  I like to call this:

Ryan's Best Food of the Super Bowl Cities!

The one thing I see in my mind when I think about these two cities is the Wilderness Lodge in Disney.  One of the best restaurants in all of their properties is Artist Point.  There you can get fresh salmon, bison, and many other great earthy treats.  So in the spirit these cities, teams, and that restaurant my Super Bowl menu is:

Maple Whiskey Cedar Planked Salmon

Herb Roasted Yukon Gold Potatoes

Sweet and Spicy Green Beans

Artist Point Berry Cobbler

And pair this with a nice Willamette Valley Pinot Grigio!

And if you are really adventurous you can add that Rocky Mountain favorite Mountain Oysters as an appetizer (if you dare)!   Maybe even have a side competition over who can teabag the most oysters at one time!  :)

Here's how you do it:

Planked Salmon (adapted from Artist Point menu):

1               Red Cedar Plank

16 oz        Whole Wild Caught Alaskan Salmon

2 oz          Walnut Oil

2 oz          Maple Syrup

4 oz          Canadian Whiskey 

6 springs  Fresh Herbs incl Rosemary and Thyme (rough chop 1/2)

*               Soak cedar board with half of Whiskey for about an hour.

*               Heat cedar board in oven for 15 minutes at 400 degrees.

*               Brush board with Walnut oil.

*               Rub chopped herbs into salmon flank.

*               Lay half of fresh herbs on plank.  Place Salmon, skin down, onto plank over herbs.

*               Mix remaining whiskey and syrup together and drizzle over salmon.

*               Cook at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes

Planking is a way to get the best of all worlds.  The softness of the wood allows the fish to steam gently and remain tender and flaky.  Yet the wood also adds a natural "smokiness" and whatever you use to soak the plank to the flavor.

Herb Roasted Yukon Gold Potatoes:

Artist Point is a gorgeous restaurant!

1#             Yukon Gold Potatoes

1/2 Cup    Infused Oil (olive, grape seed, walnut)

1 tsp         Sea Salt

1 tsp         Cracked Black Pepper

1 Tbs        Chopped Fresh Parsley and Rosemary

*               Rub potatoes with oil until soaked.
*               Combine spices into mixing bowl. 

*               While potatoes moist from oil roll them in spice mixture, coating outside.

*               Bake potatoes at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes (until soft).

Spicy Asian Green Beans (borrowed from allrecipes.com):

1#             Fresh Green Beans

2 Tbs       Soy Sauce

1 Clove    Garlic

1 tsp         Garlic Chili Sauce

1 tsp         Honey

2 tsp         Canola Oil

*               Arrange steamer basket over a pot of boiling water.  Steam beans for 4 minutes.

*               In bowl, mix all spices together (no oil yet).

*               Heat canola oil in skillet on medium.  Add beans and fry for 4 minutes. 

*               Pour sauce mixture over beans and fry for an additional 2 minutes.

Artist Point Berry Cobbler (from Artist Point menu):

3 Cups          All-purpose flour
1/4 Tbs         Salt
2.5 Tbs         Baking Powder
1.125 Cups  Granulated Sugar (prefer turbinado)
1/2 Cup        Unsalted Butter
2                   Eggs
1 Cup           Heavy Cream
2 Cups         Blueberries (and/or blackberries, raspberries)
8 Tbs         Brown Sugar
8 Tbs         Unsalted Butter
Pan Spray
Whipped Cream or Ice Cream
4                 Ceramic Ramekins

*                 Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar.
*                 Break 1/2 cup of butter into small pieces and mix into flour.
*                 Crack eggs and mix in until absorbed into flour.
*                 Add heavy cream and mix until incorporated (batter should be lumpy).
*                 Divide dough into 4 pieces.
*                 Spray bottom of 4 ceramic ramekins with pan spray.
*                 Gently form dough pieces into ramekins, covering bottom and spread evenly.
*                 Spread berries atop each dough piece in ramekins.
*                 Sprinkle each cobbler evenly with brown sugar.
*                 Dot each cobbler top with butter (from 8 Tbs).
*                 Bake in heated oven @ 350 degrees for 15 minutes (or use the clean toothpick test).
*                 Cool to room temperature and serve with ice cream or whipped cream

My Prediction:  Well I usually like to take deep statistical analysis to make my predictions like which team has the hottest cheerleaders or which town has the best music scene.  In this case I think the cheerleaders are a push.  The music scene?  Well let's just say based on that, this would be an epoch beat down by the greatest music town of my generation!  But actually since I'm always for using other people's ideas I'll just go with the Madden results with perhaps a slightly lower score and say Peyton will be going to Disney after Denver wins in a close hard fought game.  I think TD's will be hard to come by so I'll say Denver 23-16.

"Oh every time I close my eyes, (watch ya see, what you see brah?)
I see my name in shining lights, (uh huh, uh huh, what else?)
A different city every night, oh I
I swear the world better prepare (for what?)
For when I'm a billionaire"

Bump Bada BAH, Ba Ba Ba Ba Bump Bada BAH

I always look forward to this post; it's my annual celebration of the foods of the Super Bowl cities.

Here is my post from 2011 (here) and from (2012).  Those lyrics in case you couldn't tell are not actually lyrics but the sounds from one of those old goofy and histrionic NFL films documentaries.  God I used to love those!

But before I talk anymore about pro football I want to re-cap how I did on my bowl game analysis from this year.  I done pretty good!  :)

Orange Bowl:  Ryan's prediction FSU 34-17, actual FSU 31-10.  I don't like the 'Noles but I dated an FSU chick once and they do rule!

Rose Bowl:  Ryan's prediction Stanford 48-42, actual Stanford 20-14.  Got it right they just didn't score like I thought.  Too much ground game not enough going deep!

Sugar Bowl:  Ryan's prediction Florida 27-14, actual Louisville 33-23.  I think the Gators must have gotten off the bus in Pensacola because that sure was not an SEC team that showed up in NOLA.

Fiesta Bowl:  Ryan's prediction Oregon 42-38, actual Oregon 35-17.  Collin Klein scored as much as a virgin at mass; oh wait he is a virgin!

BCS Championship:  Ryan's prediction 'Bama 27-13, actual - who the *uck cares did you see the QB's girlfriend for Christ sakes (DAMN)!

And here are those Super City Recipes:

Baltimore

Maryland Crab Soup

Ingredients:

1 28 oz Can of Whole Tomatoes, diced
3 Cups of Water
2 Cups of Clam Juice
1 Cup of Lima Beans
1 Cup of Baby Carrots
1 Cup of Whole Kernel Corn
3 Tbs of Chopped Onions
1 Tbs Old Bay Seasoning
1 Pound of Crabmeat
Fresh Parsley, Scallions, Salt, and Pepper to taste

*   Combine tomatoes, water, clam juice, vegetables, and spices in a 4 quart saucepan.
*   Bring mixture to boil on medium heat.  Reduce to low and leave at simmer.
*   Add Crabmeat and let simmer for 10 minutes.
*   Add Parsley, Scallions, salt, and Pepper to taste or to garnish.

Mini Crab Cakes with Old Bay Remoulade

Ingredients:

1/2 Pound Phillips backfin crabmeat
1 Pound Phillips lump crabmeat
1/2 Cup Red Bell Pepper chopped
1/2 Cup Red Onion chopped
1 Tbs Olive Oil
1 Tsp Old Bay seasoning
1/4 Cup of Parsley
2  Eggs
3/4 Cup of Panko Breadcrumbs
1 tsp Italian Seasoning
3/4 tsp of Worcester Sauce
3/4 tsp Lemon Juice
1/2 Cup of Mayonaise
Dash of Crab Boil

Salt and Pepper to Taste

1/4 Cup Olive Oil (for saute)

*   Whip eggs and mix into Worcester, lemon juice, Old Bay, and Mayo.
*   In a separate bowl mix the crabmeat, veggies, parsley, olive oil, breadcrumbs, and italian seasoning.
*   Add wet ingredients to crabmeat mixture and combine thoroughly.  Add the dash of crab boil or Tabasco for some extra zing if desired.
*   Portion into 1.5/2 oz cakes.
*   Saute on medium heat in olive oil until crispy and brown on both sides.

Place on a toast point with a dolup of the Old Bay Remoulade and sing "you say you came to Baltimore from Ole Miss..... moonlight, feels right!"

The Remoulade:

1 Tbs Dijon Mustard
1 Cup Catsup
1 Tbs fresh squeezed lemon juice
2 Tbs grated Horseradish
1 Cup Mayonaise
1 tsp Old Bay Seasoning
A few capers if you wish
Dash of Hot Pepper Sauce

*   Remoulade - mix Dijon Mustard, Catsup, Horseradish, Mayonaise, and Old Bay together in bowl until thoroughly combined.  Refrigerate until ready to serve.

If you don't want to go to all that trouble just stop by a Phillips Seafood and pick up some crab cakes or look for some at your local Wegmans!  Btw, if you are ever driving through Fredrick, MD down I-70 or down the 270 spur to DC get off at the Buckeystown Pike and stop by May's Restaurant.  It's a Ryan fav and they bring out the crab by the tray-full!

San Francisco:

I got to tell you this kind of stumped me a bit.  I thought SF would be easy just like Chicago, New York, Pittsburg, or maybe Philadelphia.  But when I got to thinking about it, San Francisco really doesn't have a distinctive single food like Chowder, Chicago Hot Dogs, New York style pizza, or a Philly Cheese Steaks.  I've been to SF on two occasions and the food is awesome.  Sure they have Sour Dough bread, it was popular with 49'ers during the Gold Rush because the traditional leavening ingredients of yeast and baking soda were not as reliable under the conditions the minors encountered.  The 49'ers mascot is even named for Sourdough.  San Francisco is home to Ghirardelli which makes great chocolate and everybody love chocolate, right.  And of course there is always Rice-a-Roni (that SF treat) which really does have it's origins in SF from an Italian immigrant who settled into the Mission district and sold pasta.  His wife developed a recipe of rice pilaf mixed with macaroni, hence rice and roni.  The rest is history.

But what I really think of when I think of San Francisco cuisine is that fact that SF is perhaps even more eclectic than NYC.  In SF you have a strong Italian influence in "Little Italy."  You have the strong Pan-Asian influence that is much more than just Chinatown.  You also have the Hispanic influence and even that Sonoma cowboy flavor.  You have the remnants of the old 60's California car culture of American Graffiti reflected in Mel's Diner.  And of course there are all those hippies in Berkeley that just eat brown rice and tofu!

So I guess my tribute to San Francisco is fusion which I do love.  I love learning how a certain food came to be based on varying influences.  As such I'll leave you with this - Chop Suey.

Yes Chop Suey, that most Chinese of dishes (we think), is in fact not Chinese.  At least it didn't come from China, it came from immigrant Chinese laborers who settled in San Francisco and needed an inexpensive taste of home or something cheap to serve to those minors along with their Sourdough bread.

Chop Suey

Ingredients:

2 Pounds of boneless skinless chicken breast meat diced (sub in beef, pork, shrimp, scallops, or just go veggie if you prefer)
1/2 Red Bell Pepper Diced
1/2 Yellow Bell Pepper Diced
1/2 Green Bell Pepper Diced
1/2 Red Onion Diced
1 Head of Fresh Broccoli
2 Tbs Soy Sauce
2 Tbs Fish Sauce
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 Tbs minced garlic
1/2 tsp Cayenne pepper
1/2 Cup Pineapple Juice (optional)
If you have stuff like baby carrots, bamboo shoots, cabbage, snow peas, etc. chop them up and throw 'em in also!
1 Pound of Lo Mein Noodles

*   Blanch broccoli until slightly tender
*   Sautee chicken breast on medium heat until brown in about 2 Tbs of vegetable oil.  When about half done add salt, pepper, garlic, and juice.
*   When chicken is done add vegetables and sauté until tender.  As the mixture is almost done add in soy and fish sauce, cover, and let simmer for about 5 minutes.
*   Serve over Lo Mein noodles with an egg roll and Fortune cookie!  And remember as that famous Fortune cookie once said "never give up unless defeat arouses that girl from accounting!"


And here is a collection of those goofy NFL songs.

My prediction:  Baltimore defense slows down the 49'er running game and makes Kaepernick beat them deep.  He doesn't do it and the Ravens win 24-20.  Also, Ray Lewis plays hard and goes out a champ; Randy Moss afterwords exclaims that he is the greatest football player to never win a Super Bowl.  Sorry Kat!  :(

Gettin' Funky on the Mic Like a' Old Batch of o' Collard Greens

Nothing says food like Snoop Dogg!  You say Ryan "yo dude, ur wak; what up dogg!"


But wait, Snoop's really is into food.  And he is into my kind of food!  Check out this clip from his interview with Larry King several years ago.  Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, my kind of place; eating an Oscar is definitely a Bucket List thing for Ryan!  By that I mean the Oscar that is on Roscoe's menu (see clip; it's chicken wings, grits, and waffles); I wasn't implying that I wanted to go down on a dude named Oscar!  :)

So now you have no clue what the *uck I'm going to talk about today.  Except you can check the tag at the bottom and see food.  Which sort of means I might be doing some recipe type thingy or talking about low class diners, drive-ins, and dives.

Actually, I just wanted an excuse to upload that Snoop Dogg clip because I love it so much.

Happy 4th!

But today is July 4th so let's do talk about food and more specifically one of my favorite things in life - Grillin' baby!

But you say you want to eat more healthy, no burgers this July.  Great, let's do chicken.

Except the problem is, chicken can come out so dry on the grill.  What to do?  Hey, that's why I'm here; nothing like some free advise!

So here is Ryan's easy steps to grillin' and chillin' to the bestest and moistest hot and juicy chicken on the grill.

*    Point 1:  Let's keep it boned!

I believe in boning a lot of things.  Oh wait, I'm talking about food today.  Anyway, a lot of people automatically go for boneless chicken breast but by going boneless you take out 2 components of flavor or more importantly sealing in flavor namely skin and bones.  I prefer to cook with 8-cut or bone-in chicken.  It's easier to cook and preserves flavor.

*     Point 2:  Keep the Juices Flowing!

Grilling is fun but by definition it is a very quick way to cook meat using high heat.  Grilling meat all the way is a surefire way to overcook and produce sawdust.  But use the grill for what you really want, searing the meat to seal in flavor.  Once you have seared the chicken make sure there is room on the grill to move it away from the direct flame.  Again, the skin on chicken helps because the skin provides a barrier between the meat and the heat.  The skin will in a sense cauterize, sealing in the juice and preserving flavor.  Once you get that nice grill mark on the skin move the piece to the side of the grill and close the grill to bring the internal temperature to 165 degrees without scorching it.  Some grills have rotisserie pieces inside or a shelf above the flame and off the direct heat.  If your grill has this use it, it's a good tool.  Regardless, keeping the skin on and cooking more gently along with bathing it in warm juice will bring your breasts to the point where the juice will just burst out spewing it's hot wetness as you fork it!

*     Point 3:  A BBQ Enema is Great Foreplay!

Giving your chicken a brining or marination bath will make it ready to be perfect for you.  A simple chicken broth, butter, and herbs makes a wonderful bath for your chicken.  If you do want that BBQ flavor mix about 2 cups of your favorite BBQ sause with equal water for 8 pieces of chicken and make sure it's covered in syrupy wetness.  Add some fresh herbs, mustard, or even some cider vinegar to enhance the flavor.  Let the chicken sit in that bath overnight to soak in the flavor.  After it's bath and before grilling shake on some dry BBQ rub or some Fried Chicken Seasoning or just roll your breasts in some fresh herbs like rosemary and chives.  Then gently place on grill.

*     Point 4:  Start Hot and Fast but end it Low and Slow

I have to admit while I love to grill I'm an old school romantic; I still love it low and slow and with some tenderness.  Sure I love that crescendo of the hot juices busting into my ever ready mouth.  But I enjoy the lead up to it, the gentle basting and massaging to get my meat just right.  So as I said you can sear the skin on the grill but get your breasts off of that direct heat and cook them low and slow.  To some extent marination can adversely affect the texture of the meat by steaming it through evaporation.  Because of that cooking marinated meat low and slow is even more important.  As I said before if your grill has a rotisserie insert use it for the majority of the cooking process.

So with these few points in mind you will have that juicy chick begging you to put it in your mouth and spew it's hot juicy wetness down your throat!

Oh and as for those greens in the title if you want some get 'em fresh from some old dude named Cletus at a roadside place down an old dirt road.  Wash and pick them well and boil them for several hours with a ham bone and some cider vinegar!

Hey but in the end it "Ain't nuthin' but a 'G' thang!"

Still in Peaceful Dreams I See the Road Leads Back to You

Master's Food - or Slow Southern Food

I do enjoy golf.  Smashing a small object is a great stress reliever and I always enjoy the outdoors.  I know this post is about slow things but my thing is golf does take too damn long.  I mean really at four hours even screwing starts to get boring and I want to move onto something else.

I'll tell you though I love to watch golf.  Well, actually that's not true - I love to sleep to golf.  Nothing is more relaxing on a spring/summer afternoon after some yard work than laying on the couch and turning on some golf.  The low, soft, placid voices of the commentators are like a mental Xanax!

So with the Master's coming up this weekend and in anticipation of a good nap on Saturday or Sunday afternoon I was thinking about something else nice and slow - Southern food!  And BBQ at that.  But first if you are having trouble sleeping click on the video below and snooze away.

So was that a good nap?

Did you know there is in fact a "slow food" movement.  Yep, there is a movement for everything now.

Slow Food - a movement to preserve traditional and regional cuisines and to promote and utilize underlying plant ecosystems for fresh and authentic ingredients.

For some better slow food ideas check out Suburban Mom's website, she is far more interesting.

Now onto Ryan's food.  Today's menu is:

Chipotle Cinnamon Smoked Pork Butt on a Grilled Onion roll
Citrus Jicama Cole Slaw
Fresh Peach Cobbler

If you need a beverage for that meal click on my Master's post from last year.

*  Note:  Just in case you were giggling that I was trying to coerce you into eating a pig's ass I am not.  The pork butt is actually the upper shoulder of the pig.  And if there are any vegetarians out there that are worried they will go hungry with this menu no worries I assure you the pig was a vegetarian so you are fine eating him!   :)

Smoked Pork Butt (note the real recipe is for 100#'s so I'm doing my best to adapt):
Ingredients:
10# Smoked Pork Butt
1/2 Cup Lawry's Chipotle Cinnamon Rub
1/2 Cup of Cider Vinegar
1/2 Cup Sweet Chili Sauce
1 Tbs Ground Black Pepper
1/2 Cup of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce mixed w/Tbs of water
Onion Rolls

*     Rub Chipotle Cinnamon Rub on pork until completely coated.
*     Cook pork butt at 225 degrees for 8 to 10 hours.
*     On the stove bring cider vinegar, chili sauce, pepper, BBQ, and water (and dash of pickling spice if desired) to a simmer.
*     Mop the pork butt with the sauce mixture periodically to keep moist.
*     Once cooked the pork butt should fall apart.  Mix in remaining sauce into pork and shred in a mixing bowl.  Make more sauce if needed and add to pork.
*     Keep BBQ warm in oven until served (at least 1 hour) in order to marry the flavors of the meat and sauce.
*     Toast onion roll on grill before serving.  Add BBQ to bun and serve with cole slaw on sandwich or to the side.

Citrus Jicama Cole Slaw:
Ingredients:
1 Head of Green Cabbage
1/2 Head of Red Cabbage
1 Cup of Shredded Jicama
8/10 oz (1 can) Mandarin Oranges and/or Pineapple (1/2 can each if using both)
1/2 Cup of White Vinegar (Sub in Red Wine Vinegar if you want to spice things up)

This is Jicama btw

1 Cup  of Mayo
1/2 Cup Sugar
Salt and Pepper to taste

*     Clean and chop cabbage roughly into shreds.
*     Peel jicama and dice into small cubes.
*     Combine mayo and vinegar and stir until you get a smooth dressing consistency.
*     Add fruit, sugar, salt, pepper, and jicama and stir until combined.
*     Add dressing to mixed cabbage and toss until sauce combined completely.  Refrigerate and let sit until cool.  Taste and add sugar, salt, and pepper as needed.

Peach Cobbler:
Ingredients:
8 Cups sliced fresh peaches
2 Cups of sugar (infused w/vanilla beans 1 day if you're fancy)
3 Tbs all purpose flour
1/2 Tsp of nutmeg
1 Tsp of Pure vanilla extract (don't fake it!)
1/3 Cup Butter (unsalted)
Pastry for Double Pie Crust
Vanilla Ice Cream

*     Bake peaches on low heat until slightly tender.
*     Pour peaches and juice into Dutch Oven and stir in sugar, flour, and nutmeg to peaches.  Let mixture sit for about 15 minutes until syrup forms.
*     Bring mixture to a boil in Dutch Oven and then reduce heat and simmer for about 10 minutes.
*     Remove from heat and add vanilla and butter.
*     Roll out enough pastry dough to form into bottom of baking dish.  Roll out at 1/8th thickness.
*     Spoon half of peach filling into lightly buttered baking dish.
*     Top filling with pastry dough, and brush on a small amount of melted butter.
*     Bake at 475 for 12 minutes or until light brown.
*     Spoon remaining peach filling over baked crust.
*     Roll remaining pastry dough into 1/8th thickness and cut into 1" lattices.  Arrange lattice onto top of peach filling.
*     Bake an additional 15 minutes or until light brown on top.
*     Allow to cool and serve with Vanilla Ice Cream