Friday, August 29, 2014

The Dash In Between

Or "though the course may change rivers always run to the sea...."

I love it when other bloggers post a little thought, silly image, or funny meme; it's always like a little "pick-me up to the day."  That being said I've never been one of those bloggers to just upload some silly cat poster image with a quick witty quip.  I don't know, it seems like it could be me but it just ain't.  That being said I did come across a poem the other day that I decided I wanted to share.  Or rather someone I was listening to used the poem as their theme for a presentation and I'm just cut/pasting so to speak.  Let's be real why else would I come across poetry.  But this guy is a great speaker and he used this particular poem in a very inspiring way so I decided then to use it for a post and just cut/paste it here (spiritually) in lieu of a cheap cat image.

Oh hell, I'll throw in a cheap cat image too; what a deal!

Anyway, please take a quick read of this poem and maybe I'll try desperately to draw some conclusions from it!  Sorry the cat image is not exactly synchronous with the existential meaning of the poem.  But then again cat's are pretty veni vidi vici types of creatures and that may be what this poem is all about anyway.  And of course that gives me a chance to upload another funny image!

So here is that poem - it's pretty good.

The Dash In Between by Linda Ellis, 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

So pretty deep for such a shallow guy such as I!

But you know it occurs to me that maybe this AM thing is that existential search for the "dash in between." After all, when we log onto AM are we not simply looking to add a little equity to our life's existence, a little pause on reality, in fact building on our "dash in between."

Well see now you've hooked me.  I knew I couldn't just let myself get away with a silly cat image.

So let me tell you about a little "dash in between" moment Sandee and I had a few weeks ago!   :)

In retrospect, the day seems almost like one of those romantic montage scenes in a movie where the two romantic leads spend the day seeing the whole city.  So I guess this would then be my montage to happiness, the summer, and "the dash in between."

It was one of those rare weekends where I was home alone and Sandee was too.  I knew this might not come around again so I wanted to plan something special.  I told her I wanted to take her up to Gettysburg.  I know you are saying, "Ryan romance and Civil War battlefields don't mix; you are a douch!"  But wait, I wanted to take Sandee to one of my favorite restaurants and I knew she would really enjoy many of the sites I would take her too.  It would be special.  Remember, she is pretty playful and kooky so you have to alter your logic a bit with her, which of course is why I like her so much!

We met at 10 am and started the trek north through the country.  I love Rt 15 as it meanders north of Frederick into the Catoctin Mountains.  We stopped first at the Shrine to Our Lady of Lourdes.  It is truly a beautifully serene area and I knew Sandee would love it; she did.

We then proceeded to Gettysburg.  I knew Sandee would be more interested in scenery and topography than history so I was bound for Devil's Den and Little Round Top.  Sandee loves a good horror story so I wanted to show her the"Sharpshooter's" place, supposedly still haunted by the spirit of the sharpshooter, angry that his dead body was moved to be immortalized in photo.  Additionally Sandee is a total Tomboy and I knew she would enjoy climbing on the rocks at Devil's Den.  From there we drove up towards Little Round Top.  I had been there before but Shannon would never agree to take a walk through the woods to see the famed area where the 20th Maine stood to secure the Union left flank on the climactic second day of the battle.  Sandee's an outdoor girl, she was glad to oblige.

From the 20th Maine position we took a brief walk up the remainder of the hill to what, in my opinion, is the best view of the area throughout the park.  The 44th New York Monument is built in the form of a Gothic castle.  You can climb the stone stairs to a viewing area that overlooks the entire area.  On a breezy sunny beautiful summer day it is gorgeous.  We just stood there and took in the landscape.

We got back in the car and drove through the center of the battlefield stopping briefly at the "high water mark" where Pickett's Brigade just did break through the Union center at the "copse of trees."  It was getting hot and I could tell Sandee was in fact obliging me at this point.  As much as I appreciated her obliging me to a degree Shannon would never stand, I didn't want to press.  I had promised her the best French Onion soup on Earth and I now wanted to deliver.  We drove over to the Dobbin House Inn.

The Dobbin House Inn is always a cool, tranquil rest and a step back in time.  This is one of my all time favorite restaurants and I really enjoyed showing it off to Sandee.  And yes, they have the best French King's Onion soup in the world.  I believe she enjoyed how much I enjoyed showing it too her.

After lunch we did a quick tour of the Gettysburg Address site and left a few pennies in tribute to Old Abe.

It was now mid-afternoon and so we ventured back south.

Along the way I detoured over to a falls area I had heard of but had not yet visited.  I'm glad we took the detour.  Embedded in the Catoctin Mountains, just west of Thurmont, this is a beautiful, peaceful area to hike.  Towards the apex of our walk we stopped at an outcropping of rocks.  The cool, smooth rocks were actually quite comfortable as we reclined and looked up at the clear blue sky.  Sandee laid her head on my chest and I slowly massaged her scalp.  For a few moments nothing else occurred in the world for us, it was as if time had stopped or that perhaps we were suspended in an allegorical snow globe of tranquility.

But it was getting close to 5 pm so we finished our walk and again turned south on Rt 15 towards home.

I pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center where we had met that morning.  Sandee started to say her goodbyes but I grasped her and pulled her close and kissed her.  From the way she pulled me into her I could tell she was not looking for a quick break.  I could not see myself letting her go.  I had not stopped the engine so I sat up and put the car back in drive and pulled forward.

Sandee meekly asked "what are you doing?"  I said, "I can't let you go."  She didn't protest.

I guess this is the part where I should have had a room reservation.  But I had thought earlier how open and empty my house was.  Without much thought I said "we can go back to my place."  How odd that statement felt, I've probably not said that in over 20 years.  Again, Sandee did not protest other than to say, "are you sure it's OK?"

Thankfully it was only a quick 10 minute drive to my house.  Luckily, there was none of the typical neighborhood play activity along the street.  Both sets of neighbors were on vacation.  I quickly pulled into the garage and clicked the door closed immediately upon entrance.

We gingerly walked into the house.  The animals of course ran up to greet us.  Sandee slyly stated "will they tell on us."  We both nervously laughed.  I showed Sandee the lovely view from our kitchen window over the woods in our back yard and told her of the deer, the birds, the ground-hogs, and even the occasional fox or turkey we sometimes see.  I saw her perusing the landscape.  I wondered if she thought about what life would be like if she lived here with me.  I wondered if she was thinking she liked the arched ceiling or if she would change the color if it was her house.

And then I thought, pictures!  Looking at pictures couldn't be a good thing.  I ushered her upstairs to the extra bedroom.  The room that had really been my room for many years now.

On cue I kissed her and we reclined, or rather collapsed, onto the bed.  To hold her and feel her body close next to mine in the comfort of a home was beyond seductive.  Sure I desired sex but to simply hold her was also meeting one of those high actualizing needs.

I didn't linger long on self-actualization as my hands ran up her dress and under her panties.  She was already wet as I probed into her and she paused our kiss to sigh as I rubbed inside her.

As I was pulling her panties down her legs she unbuttoned my shirt.  More kissing followed and more clothes were taken off.  It had been almost a year since I had felt her naked body next to mine.  I am sure I was anticipating the delightful feel of raw sex, me inside of her, and yet what I desired more is just that feeling of her naked chest and stomach against mine, her legs around my hips as our mouths were connected in a kiss.  That feeling of melting into one another was what I sought more than anything.

The long time between sex drove us in a new direction though.  Sandee is so petite and really not that experienced.  I do believe I may be the only guy she has ever had sex with other than her husband.  In the past I always tried to be sweet and gentle. This time though as I felt that elation of melting into her I wanted to see how far we could go, I wanted to press a little.  Sandee had mentioned that she does have a wild side and I wanted to see if I could find it.

Now that I was on top of her, inside of her, and kissing her I started slowly but as I felt her hips move with mine I accelerated as I pulled almost completely out of her and then thrust smoothly yet swiftly deep into her making sure my dick slid along the back side of her feeling her hips and pubic bone along the way.  Each time I thrust I made sure to linger a few moments deep inside.  As my left hand was inside her long blonde locks of hair my right was underneath her pulling her hips into mine.  Her mouth detached from kisses intermittently to give yielding high pitched sighs.  In those moments when our mouths detached my face then began to suffocate in the sweet floral aroma of her soft hair.  As her hips moved into mine more closely I could tell she was close.  My sweet Sandee was not having sex with me, she was fucking me.  And it was good.

She came and I slid to the side and her head flopped onto my chest.  We stayed there for the next two hours.  We would have sex two more times and two more times she orgasm-ed.  It was delightful and it was delightful to be now so accustomed to and comfortable with her body and she to mine.

So quite a dash for just one day I think!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Your Lipstick Stain is a Work of Art

Ah bubble gum pop; so delicious and inviting and yet we feel so guilty when we enjoy it.  It is so mindless and easy to digest.  And yet should we really feel guilty with that which makes us feel so good?

Five Seconds of Summer is one of those groups that got drilled into my head daily over this past summer as my girls insist on playing Disney Channel on XM radio anytime we are all in the car.  Wiki defines them as "an Australian pop punk/pop band."  But they are, as wiki goes on to point out, a "boy band."  And yet secretly I have to admit their one big hit, "She Looks So Perfect," is really a pretty good song.

"Your lipstick stain is like a work of art, I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart; and I know now, that I'm so down......

And of course later it goes on to say "you look so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear..."

Yes, very easy on the ears.

The song alludes to that hipster-chic apparel store you see in trendy urban shopping areas in Silver Spring or along places like Michigan Avenue.  All of which contributes to the imagery that makes the song attractive to any crowd.  After all, what isn't more delightful for a guy to imagine and enjoy than to see his sweety in his undees!

Yet, jaded me; stained by consumerism and tainted by the almighty dollar knows there is truth in why we like bubble gum pop.  It's because there's a lot of talent in bubble gum pop.  You see talent follows money and money always follows the trendy sugary-sweet easily digestible snacks we adore and bubble gum pop is all that.  The truth is over time whether it's the Partridge Family, the DiFranco family, Donny & Marie, NSYNC, One Direction, or Five Seconds of Summer, producers, song-writers, and great session musicians know what sells and they gravitate as such.  When you open your mind and just listen and enjoy you often hear the talent underlying the layers of musical depth in a song like "I Woke Up in Love this Morning."  The percussion is delightfully crisp, there are beautiful flecks of Spanish sounding background guitar riffs that could be in a Yes or Beatles song, the background voices are smartly harmonized, the lyrics are gorgeous, and heck in the video Danny is even plucking the bass correctly.

Yes perhaps our taste buds do know best.  When something soothes the palate so delectably maybe we should just enjoy and tell our neo-cortex to take a break from thinking and just CHI-LAX!

I remember a movie I once saw and for the life of me I just can't find it no matter how much I google.  It starred and older actress (like Judi Dench) alongside one of those well known second tier character actors like Brian Cox (IDK).  The lady was having an affair with a man she met in counseling and reconciling that with her husband.  In one scene she simply tells her husband that he is too complicated, that her "other guy" is uncomplicated.  She goes on to say that she does not have to think around "him (the other guy)."  Her other guy is her bubble gum pop.  It seemed so sad to see at that time and yet now I realize we have to find ways to reconcile that which sustains us in life.  Otherwise, that old complicated neo-cortex will just drive us crazy.

It's funny, the other day I was in the car with Shannon in route to picking up one of the girls from camp.  Of course we were listening to Disney Channel as the other daughter was in the car.  Shannon and I were dissecting the music we listened too.  We decide the new Ariana Grande song (with Jessie J and Nicki Minaj) was quite good; true retro disco funk.  Ariana Grande, we decide, was sure to become the Madonna of our daughter's generation, quite talented with unique vocal range.  Later, another song felt 80's Dark Wave with respect to the background synth to Shannon; I felt the female vocalist harkened back to post-grunge Lilith Fair female singer-songwriters.  All witty stuff to make a drive go quickly and I did enjoy the time with Shannon as she always challenges my intellect.

You see Shannon is complicated.  Gorgeous, scary-talented, and intellectual; but complicated.  She is a Moody Blues song with deep lyrics voiced over beautiful pop arrangements and augmented by the London Philharmonic or maybe even Pink Floyd's Piper at the Gates of Dawn.  You admire her and try to determine how on Earth you were able to be successful enough to win her.  And yet so often you find that your tearing yourself to pieces to sustain sanity within the sphere of her world.  At times it's just daunting.  And like that Sid Barrett led Pink Floyd album you never quite know if the conversation is brilliant or just a total acid tripped mind *uck!

Three years ago I ran across someone on an odd website who very quickly delighted me.  She wasn't the most complex person in the world.  When I'm with her we don't discuss geo-politics and global derivative markets.  The other night we just drove up to a high point in the county and tilted the seats back in her convertible and looked up at the stars.  No we don't analyze when we are together and yet the time with her is always so delightful.

I'm sure I could spend time trying to analyze what Sandee has meant to me.  But my time is short these days and blogging sometimes feels like homework.  More than that as I consider these words today analyzing seems to do a disservice to that which I feel about Sandee.  As I write this and smile I think what I'd like to do is just cut/paste some of those early e-mails from three years ago and reminisce.  Hopefully you will see what I've enjoyed for those three years, a delightfully sugary-sweet person that is not really that complicated but satisfies on some many depths.  Yes Sandee is my bubble gum pop and what makes me even happier is I'm her's!  But in the end is that really such a bad thing?  :)

Take a listen to this and let me know.  And scroll down and read through a typical series of mindless, unthoughtful, bubble-gum pop e-mails.

"Your lipstick stain is like a work of art...."

FROM:   Sandee
TO:  Ryan

Lol... These are TOO hysterical!! I was seriously cracking UP!!! :) you're a nut! :)

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Subject: Fw: Not Stanley
Sent: Tue, Oct 11, 2011 2:34:35 PM 

Actually this is the one I should have sent.


From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Monday, October 10, 2011 2:18 PM
Subject: Re: Not Stanley

You KNOW I'm getting a HUGE kick out you thinking I'm some psychotic pumpkin carving, brain eater, don't you??? ( cue spooky music...) you neeevvvveeerrr know, do you Ryan???!!! Baaaaaaaahhhaa!!! :) :) (those faces are me laughing at you):)

Ok. 12:30 *****. I think they're calling for rain . They're no fun :( But I'm the type that goes out of my way to step IN a puddle, so that won't bother me!

Yeah, we'll have fun just bein a couple of Nonsense goof balls :) My speciality!! you said you are very serious, so once I loosen up around you, I think I might get on your nerves.
You can just step on me or something.For real... squash away!

I'm ALL OVER the Cookie Monster thing!! Sign me up - PRONTO!!

Yes, good Sandee-made..SOMEtimes. But only when they force me!! :)

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Subject: Re: Not Stanley
Sent: Mon, Oct 10, 2011 4:51:05 PM 

Hello Sandee-made,

Oh, you think of me as your pumpkin?  So sweet, I'm touched!  :) Or is it that you want to slice off my scalp and scoop out my brains?!  :(

OK so Wednesday - I want to make it comfortable and non-evasive for you so your little footies say warm.  How about we just meet at the ***** and go from there.    I am just so intrigued by the fun and nonsense I think we can have together!  Can we say 12:30 pm?  

But seriously I would meet you over at **** if that felt more comfortable for you.  And really no pressure, if we meet and decide to just stay pen pals that's OK (really!) - I'll let you go back to Stanley and just go cry in some corner.  But, you know, I'm a big boy - I can take it.

So more big questions.  What are you dressing up as for Halloween?  Or did you already tell me and I missed it, sorry if I did.

Take Care, are you Good Sandee-maid, the good mermaid of the east?


From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Subject: Not Stanley
Sent: Mon, Oct 10, 2011 12:53:23 PM 

Sorry Dear Sandee,

I'm not Stanley.  So Wednesday let's go to the ********!  I can meet you there (for lunch), I promise not to have any keys!  :)

I can introduce you to Wolfgang Bordain-Flay the owner.  If it's nice they have a wonderful patio for seating.  But if it is too low brow for you we can just meet there and then drive over to the *****.  Or better yet do both!  My Wednesday afternoon is pretty open.

So how did the Haunted Trail turn out.  And what is this affinity you have with horror?

Have a good Monday,


From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Saturday, October 8, 2011 4:38 PM
Subject: Re: Something Special 4 U

Hello Ryan!

Hope you enjoyed your busy day!! The ham dinner sounded oh so yummy! I don't like ham dinners, but it sounded good!
I had the honor of enjoying the GORGEOUS day along the river!!! Love it, love it, LOVE IT!!!! :) I even drove up to the ***** and pretended I was I was a legit guest browsing the grounds. Ha! I'm such a poser :)

Had to post-pone the spooky night until tonight... turns out they're only open Sat nights. Had to settle for a scary movie.

Wed: if "sucky" is a word, then that would pretty much describe ***** in terms of something to do, right? So I'm cool with ********. Maybe if it's nice, just a walk along the river would be nice?! Also it would be a great place to hide a body! (Did I say that out loud??) :)
No for real, I am ok with coffee or anything.

Showing my vulnerable(cowardly, timid) side: I'm still not ENTIRELY convinced this isn't me walking into a tongue-lashing from you.. :(

Btw: I'm Not a FBI agent, & def not a human flesh- eating serial killer!! (Although come to think of it, I have been known to nibble on an ear or two..;)

Have a great night!!


Lol... This correspondence of ours reminds me of the pen pal I had in sixth grade. I was supposed to have a girl, but they gave me a boy by accident. I didn't tell because I wanted to keep him. We became great secret friends! It was so awesome!!
Then I thunk to myself.... OMG !!..... what if YOU turn out to be HIM???!!! Now THAT would be a story!!! :) :)
(your name isn't really Stanley by chance, is it???)

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Friday, October 7, 2011 3:16 PM
Subject: Re: Something Special 4 U

Lol.. No Ryan! We have NEVER met! Not to my knowledge anyways.. but I am super duper sure I would have remembered if we did! You are identical to our 43rd President after all!!

Sorry I can't help you out with your moral dilemma of lusting over the ladies in your entire neighborhood!! Jeeze Ryan! Are you the official neighborhood stud with your very own Wisteria Lane going on???

If you for real want to meet crazy me, I will meet you next week. If for no other reason than to show you how harmless I am. :)
I have to admit though, I AM a dork and I laugh alot, so I will most likely be cracking up at this whole situation. :) And you crack me up too. :)

Plus I want my Ryan Zimmerman bobble-head!!

I'll tell you all about my occupation when I see you. That should give that contemplative, and investigative brain of yours plenty of time to theorize ALL sorts of things!! Oh my... I can only imagine..
tehehehe ( ornery laugh) this is gonna be fun!

ORRRRR... MAYBE you want to meet to lamb-blast me in person for my misdeeds??? Hmmmmm.....Ryan I am a very sensitive, and timid gal... go easy on me when you holler.. K?? :(

Idk Ryan... my imagination runs on overdrive as well sometimes ( in case you haven't noticed!)

Tonight is the Haunted  Trail for me!! YESSSS!! :) Beautiful w/e on tap, so the big yard sale tomorrow morn, followed by some bike trail, & kayaking :)

Happy FRIDAY!!!

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Friday, October 7, 2011 9:15 AM
Subject: Re: More Will Ferrell Humor

Bahaaahaa!! You got me!! (again!) Quit reading my mind, would ya Ryan???
Or maybe great minds really DO think alike???

Glad you finally cleared it up why I am so enamored with you!! The similarities between the two of you are uncanny!

Thanks for the Will meds...I feel so much better now! :) :)

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Subject: More Will Ferrell Humor
Sent: Fri, Oct 7, 2011 12:51:54 PM 

OK Dear Sandee,

Here is your daily dose of Will Ferrell/George W humor.

But you know I was out running last night and it hit me why you like me so much.  And this is the faux therapist in me so listen because it's free!  I know you have deep affection for our former President.  And perhaps you are looking to replace that affection and have been needing a place to put that affection.  In walks me.

I believe you associate me with George W thus projecting your affection for him onto me.

We are after all very similar.  For instance we share the same command of the English language!  :)

We are both from the south and are southern gentlemen.  

We both espouse the mantra of a kinder, gentler, compassionate conservatism.  We both love BBQ and baseball!

So breath deep and accept this Sandee; it's OK!

My door is open, my back yard empty so bring on those George W feelings, I'm here for you!

Take Care,


TO:    Ryan
FROM:    Sandee

LOVE BRUNO!!! As in L-O-V-E!!!    
 How'dja know????? And Ryan? You're gonna make it to billionaire status some day!!! I just KNOW it!! :)

ok. Now I'm just going to look anal, but...(whispering) you spelled narcissistic wrong... and "greatest".. ..just sayin...
    (LOL and  FYI: I really hope you know I'm just messin with ya...I'm really NOT a pretentious(go ahead, go google) snot!! LOL..we cool? ;)

If I were a wagering man, I'd say you actually enjoyed your little a$$ kicking by the lady lover..I'm right aren't I ??She was doin it for ya just a little, wasn't she Ryan??

Oh and on my secret... I'm not tellin you what it is...where would the mystery be then?? Hmmmm?

Never heard of the gym class..should I have? Are they famous around these here parts??

I kind of from the hills not the hood.

No, I've never been to Bob's Farm; and no, I'm not impressed that you HAVE.

So my cute, cute things i are just humoring me. But since YOU DID ASK!! I'm going to tell ewe!!
Just Clothes, etc.. But some of the CUTEST were from a place that sells delicate- nightie type things, for girlies. and that might make you blush a little; So I'll just go ahead and keep THAT as another secret. Maybe when you are older or not so immature (See? I'm NEVER going to let you live down the trying to make me jealous thing! You screwed up BIG time buddy!)

Well, I am hoping your day ROCKED!!   Did you invent any new recipes in honor of me??

Ok Ryan, Anuthuh Moday bites the dust!!

Happy, happy night! !! ;)


 From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 9:50 AM
Subject: Re: Typical Guys !

Sandee, Sandee, Sandee

You see, this is why I like you SO much.

Yes I can get my ass kicked by a Lesbian Swedish former Pro Basketball pLaya'.  I can get women to fawn all over me and tell me I'm the world's greatist fry boy.

But only you can say I have Narcastic Personality Disorder, correct my spelling, and flaunt your world and mall travels in front of me and make me feel good about it.

What is it about you?  You have to tell me your secret.

Tell me about your day and/or the cute things you got at the mall.

Take Care,


From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Sunday, August 28, 2011 6:52 PM
Subject: Re: Typical Guys !

Geeze Ryan! And to think that all day long, I had visions of you curled up rocking in the fetal position,  sucking your thumb in some corner; because you were so upset I couldn't meet you!! Way to make a girl feel irreplacable!! And there is no way I can compete with lesbians, (too dang straight!) basketball players, (too short!) Swedes with accents, (too American) or 40 year olds. (give me 15) So what do I have to offer you??? Seriously though, I'm gladja had fun! Oh! And I survived JUST FINE without YOU too!! (sticking out my tongue!!) In the morning we stopped for breakfast at this SUPER DUPER fancy place called Le' Bob Evans. The maitre d' was very nice,
and let us come in even though we didn't have reservations! Then we arrived at that AWESOME mall!! Bought some cute, cuTE , CUTE things!! And pretty much shopped till we dropped....still awake??  Guess you had to be there to appreciate it.... I actually did get some Christmas shopping done, though, so, good on me!! Coastal Flats for a late lunch! All in all, just a fun day to hang out with friends before the new, hectic week starts! You know??  Well, the weather is GAWJUSS, so im grabbing my bicycle, & heading out for a nice. Long. Ride!!! So we'll set up another play-date for next Sunday, unless you and your girls have already made plans!  Have a good Monday tomorrow!!!(aaaaaaakkkk.I am SO NOT a
Monday person!!)  Sandee, the straight, short-ish, American 

  From: Ryan
 To: Sandee
 Sent: Sunday, August 28, 2011 1:09 PM 
Subject: Typical Guys ! 
OK Sandee,   Do you remember in high school when you disappointed some guy and then he did something to try to make you feel guilty or maybe he asked out your best friend to make you feel jealous.  Yeah, typical immature male passive aggressive behavior.  Certainly as guys grow older they would get rid of that behavior right?    Wrong!   Guys are always guys and they are always immature!   So here is my passive aggressive behavior to:   1)    Make you feel guilty 2)    Make you jealous   So after getting over the devastation of you not coming up I decide to dust myself off and start all over again.  So I went over to the gym and just
played with myself.  Racquetball that is!  Get your mind out of the gutter!   So after playing with myself for about 20 minutes my friend ***** comes over (yes his name is ***** - he's a lawyer and is a boot camp regular with me) and asks if I want to play basketball.  I said yes and go over to the court with him.   Except he is not really playing basketball; it is a class called Silver Hoops he is taking along with four 40-something Lesbians (sorry that was not PC - trust me I'm not homophobic, actually one of the ladies is not she and her husband own the coffee place in town).    So your GUILT is that instead of spending time with you I had to take the Silver Hoops class which ended up being really hard.  We did a lot of full court layup and defensive drills.  Feel GUILTY now!   So what is the JEALOUSLY?   The last 20 minutes of class we played 3 on
3.  I got paired up with the instructor Helga.  Yeah you guess it - she is Swedish!  I knew immediately from the accent.  Well, it wasn't pleasant - she KICKED my ASS!  Turns out Helga is not only Swedish and a fitness instructor - she is also a former professional basketball player.   So instead of getting my ass kicked by you on the racquetball court I got my ass kicked by Helga the Swedish Pro Basketball pLaya'.   R U JEALOUS!   But I do hope you had fun today!   Perhaps a re-do next Sunday afternoon.   Take Care,   Ryan  

From:    Sandee
To:        Ryan

Sorry to bug you again...but I am SO PROUD of me I just have to tell ya before I BUST!!
So I ran to the market for fud & here's my menu for tonight: Grilled lobster tails with garlic & cheddar biscuits (from scratch-of course!) and imma gunna (how's THAT for a grammar nightmare???)grill some asparagus. For dessert I made individual cheesecakes in ramekins. Going to top them off with some cherry's..So? What does the MASTER chef think of me now, huh??  Well hopefully the better half will show up (doctor...always on call...) If not, you are more than welcome to come taste my delicacies...I promise- nothing "funny" in the food!!! Lol.. :-D
No. not a Mary Poppins fan..just like to get my British accent on once in awhile. I also do a good Bahhston Hahhbah
impression too!! know I'm a dork, right?? (to PROVE it, I sent you a pic from this party I went to last Sat with my friends..we had to dress up as a movie character...I'm not going to tell you who I was...going to see if you can figure it out... Come on Ryan~~~THINK BABY!!! : )  you can doooooooo it!! 
Ok- I will be at the AWESOME gym there in your home townage to kick your hiney! That place is AMAZING! Went there with a girly friend of mine a couple -o times..loved it!! So that's your gym??
I will leave you alone now for the day.....don't wanna wear out my welcome!

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2011 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Happy Weekend

Sandee oh Sandee,
Oh well, based on the Cincinnati comment you may never get this.  But just in case you do I have one thing to say about my favorite Office episode.
And this may actually be very cogent to our age situation (yes of course I googled that!). 
"We need to Youth-a-nize the office!"  :)
I am found many an afternoon watching the office on the big screen at the gym while working out.  Just wanted to run that little visual by you!
I also like the episode where Michael organized the office basketball game in the store room - because I'm such a basketball guy.  And I also love Ricky Gervais.
I hear you on lunch but if there as any chance to run out for coffee later this week let me know (I could probably work in Wed or Fri in the late afternoon).  I don't mind if your in your cute hygenist clothes if you don't mind me in my Micky D's uni!  A quick after work drink may be possible as well and you are always welcome to run up here to my ville to kick my ass in raquetball!  If none of that works let me know if you have a day off next week and I'll work on my schedule!
Also wanted to tip my hat to your "govunah" salutation the other day, are you a Mary Poppins fan?
Enjoy the market and pick me up a six pack of Yuengling or Rolling Rock!
The priest thing is funny, it reminded me of Bill Cosby.  You know growing up I thought I was Jesus Crist because my dad was always saying "Jesus Crist will you clean up your room!  Jesus Crist get inside out of the rain....."

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2011 10:24 AM
Subject: Re: Happy Weekend

Ok Ryan...I gotta admit I was nervous (hope that  big word doesn't have to send you Googling again..)about how you would respond to my "fib" sin of omission..
Thank you for givin me anutter chance. I promise! No more surprises- well about my age/weight. anyways (You DO know I weigh 543 pounds, right??) You are a very forgiving guy (you ARE a "guy" riiiight??)And I appreciate it! Hey!  another career option for you...PRIEST!! I really think you need to hire me as your head-hunter!! I would be SO good for you!!
Lunch's are prit-near impossible for me on week-days. Depending on walk-in emergencies, or late arrivers, lunch is usually a, take it- when you can get it -basis.. Today I happen to be off, but I see you are a busy duuuuude today, so that's not happenin....your loss! :-D
Lovin your brownie marketing ideas!! When I am a big shot and all famous and what not, I will remember the wise one who steered me in the right direction...Ryan!! Gandi!
I think when we DO do lunch/coffee...we're gonna have a blast!! Yes?? I only hope I can stimulate you enough in an intellectual convo with someone of your highly educated & evolved mind...well if nothing else, we always  have Will to talk about right...and mint green nail polish...
Ryan!!!!!! OHHHHHMG!!!!!!!!THE OFFICE !!!!! YOU TOO?? NO WAY!!!! (sorry for shouting at just got me all excited!)lol!! I can't believe it! I LOVE Michael Scott!! Personally I  L-O-V-E the original episodes the best!! Quick!! You're favorite!!  Mine ??
Well ONE of mine..Diversity Day! Oh this is GREAT!! I'm gonna have FUN with you!! Look Out!!
So, gotta run to the market  now & stock the cupboards & fridge with all kinds of need anything??
Till next thyme...
Oh ! And about that Cincinnati thing & if I hate you...yes. I am sorry. I do. I just can't move past's been REAL nice knowin ya, Ryan!!

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2011 8:50 AM
Subject: Re: Happy Weekend

Good Mornin' Sandee,

So I have to admit as a 43 year old woman I was thinking you must own stock in Creme de la Mer to have such wonderful skin!  But I'm OK with 25 if you're OK with the fact that I am as advertised a "dirty old man."  :)
As a mature man I appreciate the admiration but I assure you all men, regardless of age, are perfectly capable of being immature!
Really my only grip is this - "facetious?"  Crist!  That's the second time you have sent me to google to find out what the heck you mean!  But no, I did very much like your outfit with the green jacket and contrasting green nail polish - it did look very striking in that setting with the trees behind you.  Dare I say, keeping in mind your favorite movie, a bit Elvish - alluring, enchanting, and mysterious!
So my people do want to call your people and set up a meeting.  Do you get a coffee or lunch break in between impacted molers?  If so, can I take you to lunch.  I'll even splurge and let you upsize your meal!  Or perhaps we can scope out brownie sales opportunities!  What might Thursday look like for you?
Thanks for liking my writing, compliments will get you EVERYTHING (with me)!  So some more boring "me" stuff.  I guess my one life regret would be that I didn't persue writing.  I minored in English and wrote for my high school and college newspapers. 
As boss I would think by now you could tell I'm a dead ringer for Michael Scott!!!  Are you an Office fan?
I like the cross-marketing idea about the brownies and the dentist.  Perhaps you could just set up a kiosk in his office.  Say buy one get one free brownie with each filling.  Or say a punch card on fillings - 10 fillings and get one free brownie.  Root canal = brownie cake!
Take care, I look forward to hearing about your day,
OK, one more thing.  Since we are all about admissions now - here is mine.  And I warn you now this could be earth shattering to you!
Back in the day when little Ryan liked to play Little League baseball at second base his hero was Joe Morgan of that team in Southern Ohio.  I know you are all Cleveland fanny but I to admit......

 yes, I am a big Reds fan along with the Nats of course.  My guess is that you are not a fan of Cincinnati teams.  But don't worry the "Bungles" are too riduculous to support.
Btw - I do love Cincy chili!
So do you hate me now?  :)

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 8:27 PM
Subject: Re: Happy Weekend

Oh ryan, Ryan, RYAN! You sure are a witty little fella..I have another career option for you: Writing! Your flare for the written word, along with that humor of yours, is VERY entertaining! I would buy all of your books, AND be your biggest fan! :)  Instant groupie and you haven't even started....What say you??
Glad you like my (mint) green polish.. although knowing you, you MIGHT be being a tad facetious..who knows??
 I only get to do the "nude" nail for work, so I like to "GET DOWN WITH A LITTLE CRAYZAAAY" on the week-ends!! You too?? I'm sure you probably don't get to do polish in your line of work either..just a wild guess. I could be all wrong...You're prob a "Fire Engine Red" kind of guy, am I right??
Sorry if I bombarded you with questions about your work...I just love picking peoples brains- no matter the size, and seeing what makes them tick. (undergrad in Psychology, eh hem..) Plus I am genuinely intrigued with your line of work. Are you a mean ole nasty boss to work for, or do you have your employees in stitches all day?? I'm guessing the latter! :)
BTW: I just informed the cops you're into crack dealing..they should be on your doorstep aaaaaaany sec now. Just thought you'd like to know...
Tanks awot for the career advice, about selling me brownies.. I  'ppriciate it!! Your mind seems rather sharp, well edjumicated, so I haven taken everything you said and filed it under, "important!"
 So I will start small by selling my brownies to my patients first. The dentist should back me on account it's drumming up more bih-niss for him, too!!  Brilliant!!
I will be looking forward to hearing some of those back-stage, concert stories you have! The only shoulder rub I have had with fame was, I got to meet Phil Koegan (sp?) from the AMAZING RACE!! You ever watch that show?? OMG!!  LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and one more..!
Enjoy watching your "reason for living" tonight. Oye! I hope it never gets cancelled! If it does, call me first, and I will get you that suicide hot-line number..ok?? Promise?
Well that's about it for now...ummmmm (tapping my head) yeah. That's it.
So enjoy the last night of the w/e (sigh)
Talk atcha later...
         SERIOUS *ME* ALERT:: 
**Conscience/Guilt/ confession to you .....
         Nervous to tell you this, but need to.... gulp..
Ryan? If 1986 was my birthdate, not my hs grad date (my husband's) would be mad at me?? For misleading you??  ...I  lied about my age b/c ..idk..I just like the more mature men.   I am so sorry. I understand if you don't want to talk anymore
 . i just figured you had a right to know....   :*(             i  sincerely hope you still want to be my friend...
NOTE - This of course turned out to be a joke!

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 3:57 PM
Subject: Re: Happy Weekend

Hey Sandee,
Beautiful pic!  I am obsolutely chartruese with envy at the person who got to take that picture.  I like a girl who is confindent enough to wear green nail polish!  It is definitely elegant, and suits you and the atmosphere.  Although tell me if my computer colors are off  :)
So my career and passion.  I have to get all serious for that - I hope you can stay focused on my ramble.
DELETE ALERT - following info to likely to "OUT" Ryan..... Pretend this is like one of those government documents that the CIA marks through in BLACK!   :)
I like your brownie concept!  You know little micro-desserts are kind of the "in thing" small guiltless pleasures you know.   Cupcakes have been the hot concept for the past few years.  I was actually watching Cupcake Wars last night.  Perhaps I can be your side kick for the first Brownie Wars.  And I love Blondies as well (the dessert that is, although blond ladies are rather nice as well!)
So I say go for it on the brownies.  Start with catering at small parties and get a reputation and then try to sell wholesale to local coffee houses until you get enough cash flow to open a store front!
Maybe the marketing could center around you and the Blondie image with a Blondie lyric:  "I'll have a cup of tea and tell you of my dreaming"
So onto music and my split personality.  I guess my all time favorite would be REM, Pearl Jam, and Stone Temple Pilots, etc.  But growing up in ** ******* I always liked bluegrass and classic country; yeah I know that can be a turn off but I do love some Johnny Cash.  But really I like a lot of music.
And again, I can tell you some great backstage stories from some of those great concerts at ***(I can't blow all my interesting stuff on e-mail :) 
Oh and Will Ferrell movies?  I guess Old School or Talledega Nights would be my favorites.  But I love the skits he does on Funny or  Have you seen the Landlord skit he does with the little girl?  Or any of those George Bush commercials?
OK, back to the world.  Take Care
PS - Sunday night = Entrourage - my reason for living!  Although this season has been a disappointment, I want them to focus more on Johnny Bananas!

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Saturday, August 20, 2011 8:41 PM
Subject: Re: Happy Weekend

Evnin' Govenah..
Sorry Ryan. I'm not buying your feigned sympathy for my Browns...but  I'll give you 1/2 point for pretending to care...
Yeah, Spy Museum...Keweeel!! But my goodness!! ExTREMely crowded!! SO much to see & learn!! I am considering changing professions, because all that danger & EXCITEMENT seems just TOO darn intriguing to resist!!! (Have you guessed I have impulse-control issues??) But you really should put it on your list of things to do before you die! Take your Pops, he'd enjoy it too! No. I'm not bossy...why do you ask??
I read a book once that took place in DC, and the main character ate lunch at Old Ebbit's Grill. So gullible me, I Googled it, and was happy and surprised to see it really did exsist!! SO that's where we had a late lunch! You would LOVE it there!! SO GREAT!! The food is fanTAStic, and the prices aren't that bad
You mentioned the Nutcracker!! Awesome!! We travel every year to see it with my folks!!! Have you ever seen Swan Lake ?? Booooteeefullll!!!!
Actually I do find your potato chip experimenting interesting! For realz! I had no idea it involved so much science. Lovin the sea-salt idea/pickle idea btw..Mmmmmmm...yummay!! what will that taste be like? Kind of a salt & vinegar flavah? Sorry, I don't want to show my ignorance here..just curious. I always thought it would be the coolest (pun intended) job to be one of those ice-cream flavor inventors. Show your creative side, while contributing to man-kind's (and woman) hips at the same time!
Has the food industry always been the profession you wanted to get in to? A passion of yours, or a hobby?? I will bore you with one tiny dream of mine..K? K.   I have ALWAYS wanted to open my own bakery! I want to start off only selling brownies & coffee. I even have the name picked out..ready?? Drum roll please.....BLONDIE'S BROWNIES!!..get it?? Play on words?? I have blonde hair & brownies are brown, so...uh! never mind... Thanks for listening to my random thoughts- you're a sport!
No, I have never been to the place you mentioned, but it sounds enjoyable! I love wine, cheese, and picnics (AND BROWNIE'S!) so that would be a neat-o idea !  I'll have my people call your people to set something up...
Well, since you've made reference to Anchorman, what is your fave Will Ferrell movie of all time?? I am an immature child-like gal, so mine is hands-down Elf!! I know! Right??  Also; You mentioned sounding arrogant..not at all! Just remember: Only *YOU*, can prevent narcissism...
Oh! Music. Do you listen to it? Classical, 80's ..what??
So, hope the swimming/tannning/mowing went well for unsightly Speedo tan lines  to deal with or anything...  :o)
Enjoy the rest-o- your week-end!!

TO:   Sandee
FROM:  Ryan

Sent: Saturday, August 20, 2011 12:34 PM
Subject: Happy Weekend

Hey Sandee,
First, let me offer my condolences to your Browns, very sorry - but at least it was a loss to a top notch team (Lions)!
Hope your day in DC is/went (going) well.  I have not seen the spy museum so you'll have to tell me all about it.  
OK, so no Old Bay chips for you.  We have a new potato chip product we are trying out that we hydrate and then fry.   We are thinking about hydrating the chips in pickle juice and then adding sea salt to flavor.  What do you think about that?
And I'm sure you are also really impressed about the VITAL potato chip issues we are tackling on a daily basis up here!
Oooops, more stuff I have to delete; I've already copied and pasted too much!
The rest of today I hope to be at the pool although I think lawn mowing is unfortunately in my future as well.  :(  Either way I guess I'll be working on my tan!
Take Care,
PS - I'll look forward to those Brownies whenever we go for a picnic  :)
Have you ever been to the ******** ***** Store?  It's a really unique gourmet wine/cheese shop but they also do soup and sandwiches and there is a great place to picnic near by.

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Friday, August 19, 2011 8:59 PM
Subject: Re: Catering

Three letters from Ryan in one day...good on me! :)
Glad your day went well! Sounds like a casual, relaxed dinner. Nice! BTW:I make WICKED good brownies!!...You can take that info or leave it..just thought you'd like to know!
I am sure you DO make good chili..spicy right?? So can I hire you to cater a party? Seriously. Do you free-lance? I'm just getting this vibe that you are really good at what you do!
Hope your speech went well tonight!! Did you have to picture them all NECKED?? lol... crossword puzzles for me this w/e. I am going to take the train & go in to DC in the a.m.. I have always wanted to visit the Spy Museum! Have you ever been?? I'm going to try some of the local fare for the dinner hour..trying new places is a THRILL of mine! Discovering those little places tucked in a wall. You see..I have a slight food addiction, gulp. Like you, I have to stay active to balance it all out, so it's alllll goooood!
What aboutchew?? What do you have planned??
Enjoy that Yuengling! You earned it today...Good Job!!

Cute pic! Yes would like to c-ya in action, crack me up :)

From: Sandee
To: Ryan
Sent: Friday, August 19, 2011 2:36 PM
Subject: Re: You Tube Addict

Ryan! You are a BLAST!! lol... The vid...Omg!!! Love it!! This is VERY cool to me because I also LOVE, as in LOVE! Will Ferrel!! ( well, what I know of him anyways... we've never met, so..who knows) I also do alot of You-tubing, trolling for music videos. And since I am a sarcastic little dork, I hang out at PopHangover alot. Oh! And you should DEF check out!!! :) Thanks for sharing your "softer " side...nothing says sentimental like Will Ferrel!! :). : o) :-D Hope everything goes well for you tonight! I am sure you are awesome at your job!! That would be quite a sight to see how you handle 700+. over there at DELETE DELETE..... Impressive!! :) Happy, happy Friday!!!!Woooooo-EEEE!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!! Weeek-end FUNNNN!!!! Sandee

From: Ryan
To: Sandee
Subject: You Tube Addict
Sent: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 2:44:22 PM 

Hey Sandee,
I remember from your profile that you said you have a tender and cuddly side too so I wanted to make sure you know I have a tender side as well!
But first, three things about me:  
*   I do have a soft side
*   I am totally addicted to YouTube and
*   I love Will Ferrell
I guess that was 3 things.
So anyway, I came across this YouTube video last night and thought I would share it with you.  I like to share songs and videos with friends.  So here you go, hope you like it - it shows my soft side (nothing crazy though).
Have a great day,