Myrtle Beach Days, We'll Have Some Fun in the Waves

Ryan's Best of Myrtle Beach
and Duet with Victoria Jaynes

One of my favorite topics on this blog over the years has been discussing travel, food, and vacations. That has often taken the form of "how to's" and recommendations related to Disney vacations.  I'm not doing that today because I've not been to Disney in the last few months.  However, I'd like to talk about a place I'll be returning to in a month that has been a big part of my life over the years.  The other thing that make's today's post so fun is that the other thing I love doing are co-posts and today I'm joined by my friend Victoria Jaynes who is dipping her toes into the ocean of blogging so to speak.  Victoria is also an expert in all things Carolina!

Ryan's Take:  When you grow up in my part of the country going to Myrtle Beach is a right of passage for high school seniors.  Back then it was a right of my passage and it continues to be a right of yearly family passage now.

So with that in mind I'd like to share with you some of my Myrtle Beach favorites which, because it's me, means out of the way, off the beaten path, and perhaps a little against the grain and most certainly not particularly expensive or during the dinner rush!

Victoria's Take:   I've been chatting with Mr. Beaumont ever since I first contemplated joining AM almost two years ago, when I discovered his blog and spent way too long reading it almost in its entirety, because he seriously makes me laugh. So when he asked me to give my local girls perspective on navigating Myrtle Beach I was pretty excited, and more than happy to comply… except he’d pretty much covered all of the places I was going to suggest.

These days my family, with the exception of the teenagers who still like to cruise the strip, steers clear of Myrtle Beach in favor of the more family friendly Garden City/ Murrells Inlet area. What a lot of people don’t realize is that what makes it so amazing is that houses on the Inlet side are far superior to the houses on the beach because you've really got the best of both worlds going on here. 

Your backyard looks like this!

You can bring along your boat or jet skis, you go fishing right in your backyard and at night, you can sit out on your very own dock and stargaze with a cocktail, then go back out with your coffee the next morning and watch the blue heron catch fish in low tide. Pretty awesome stuff! And hey! If you’re lucky enough to have your guy or girl there along with you, you can totally make out or whatever in private at night too. ;) And here’s a fun fact, during low tide, you can go out in the marsh and if you’ve got a good eye, you can still find bullets from P52 Mustang scraping runs during WW2. Pretty cool, right?

Then, when you’re ready to hit the beach you can grab your cooler and a towel, and go out your front door and you’ve got a view like this:

The beach is just a couple of dodged golf carts away! And, by the way, if you want the true Carolina experience you’ll have boiled peanuts, and pimento cheese sandwiches packed in that cooler along with the beverages of your choice (hey Victoria don't forget to wash that down with Cheer Wine!).  

Useless Ryan Info:

Myrtle Beach is part of what's known as the Grand Strand, a 60+ mile stretch of wide beaches from Little River to Georgetown on the coast of South Carolina and haven and spiritual destination to the masses of America's Mid and South East Atlantic middle class (hint - it ain't the Hamptons).  Myrtle Beach is home to wonderful beaches, great restaurants, golf, and is the birthplace of "shagging."   And for you Brits out there that doesn't mean us Yanks first learned to screw on the beaches of South Carolina, "shagging" here is a dance.

Because Myrtle Beach has a north-south orientation with only one main artery traversing the beach, it is home to some pretty miserable traffic though, particularly at supper time (that's dinner if you don't live in the south)!  So I always plan my days there with a quote from a famous Civil War general who said "get there fustest with mostest." Yeah, his grammar was about as good as mine but he meant get where you need to go early and beat those dang Yankees to the wing bar happy hour.

But with that in mind let's look at a typical Ryan day at the beach!

Food!

Ryan's Take:

Morning - wake up 7'ish and stretch those legs with a nice walk and then shower.  Come back and roust the girls up for breakfast.  The first thing to learn about Myrtle Beach is that breakfast is the best meal of the day at the beach. While Myrtle has some nice restaurants I can't say any are really "haute cuisine," so go for kitschy casual to get the best value.  Some of the best places to visit are best visited in the morning and you better do so early because the golfers and ill behaved families from Charlotte descend by 9 am.

Some of our favorites are:

Dino's (North Myrtle) - Great pancakes!  Also all your breakfast egg platters, etc.  Decent coffee, quick service, low cost, easy in and out - all Ryan favs!

Boulineau's (Little River) - If you prefer ultra quick service, cheap, and a la carte and you need some sun tan oil, a six pack, a beach paddle game, batteries, the wife needs (well you know) and Motrin for your hang-over you can get it all here.  It's mostly a grocery/hardware/gift store but they have great biscuits and grits too!  It's like the Gay Dolphin on steroids (we'll talk about the Gay Dolphin later).

the Sea Captain's House (Myrtle) - Of all the breakfast places listed this is my least favorite.  It's mostly buffet which I detest (I always order off the menu).  But it has a great view of the beach and nothing is more relaxing than drinking my morning coffee and watching the tits,  I mean waves along the beach.

Now that you're done with breakfast I suggest getting out to the beach early.  If you are there by 10 am you can get your day in before you melt or burn to a crisp.  You also get first dibs on umbrellas and chairs, which is important if you want to strategically locate for best MILF viewing.  Honestly though, as much as I enjoy the beach I always feel like I'm just trying to get it out of the way.  By 1 pm I'm ready to pack it in, rinse the sand out of my balls, and head for lunch.

This picture is for you Kat!

Did someone say lunch?  OK here are some great places.

Peaches (Downtown) - I hate downtown Myrtle Beach.  Loved it as a teen but now that I'm adult I hate it for all those *od-Damned teenagers! But going to Peaches for a hot dog is a must each trip to the beach at some point.  And of course while there you can stop by and see the Gay Dolphin.  And by Gay Dolphin I don't mean Dolphins have evolved into being advocates for marriage equality, it just means happy.  Also if you are down there you can stop by the Bowery and curse Burroughs and Chapin for tearing down the Pavilion! Bastards!

For a much better lunch travel inland to Conway and eat at the Trestle.  They have awesome soup, sandwiches, the best sweat tea (next to Chick-fil-A) in the world, and have a wonderful bakery as well two doors down.  Walk that meal off along the Waccamaw River, a gorgeous route along the river with Southern genteel charm.

After lunch it's back home for a quick dip in the pool and then on to nap time from about 2:30 to 3:45 for Ryan.

Keeping General Forest's quote above in mind get out for dinner early (5:30 pm at the latest).  Traffic on Rt - 17 will be a bitch by 6 pm (btw when going north and south always think about going inland and using Rt 31 to get where you need to go).

OK so dinner if you are into Macaroni Grille, Chili's etc stay in Myrtle Beach.  If you want any pizzaz go north or south and stay away from "Restaurant Row," home to overpriced seafood buffets picked over by little booger eaters from Raleigh.  My favorite place is north in Little River.

Crab Catchers (Little River) - Make sure you bring your appetite for all-you-can-eat crabs, hush puppies, slaw, etc.  And get there early if you want to eat on the deck and watch the fishing boats come in.  This place gets packed quick.  It's not fancy but it's good!

At the other end of the Grand Strand is Frank's in Pawley's Island.  This is where you might actually get some real and elegant Carolina Low-Country cuisine and fresh caught seafood.  A Ryan-style favorite would be the pan-fried Shrimp and Grouper with Tomatoes and Scallions over Grits - YUM!  They also have some great small plates if you a cross training for a marathon or something stupid like that (this is vacation after all).

You're in my head Victoria!

Victoria's Take:  When dinner time comes around here you can pick up some local shrimp, crab, and spicy onion sausage and make a pot of low country boil, or what we call Frogmore Stew which in my opinion no beach trip should be without.

Seriously, it’s amazing and ridiculously easy. The best part is that to serve it, you just dump it onto the middle of a table covered in newspaper, and pass around crusty bread, butter and beer. What could be better?

But, if that’s too much to ask you can always head across the inlet on your boat to one of the many truly amazing seafood restaurants along the Marshwalk.

They have the most bizarre names, but in my opinion, it’s also some of the best seafood in the area. And there is plenty of night life too.

And then later, when you’re looking for some late night fare to absorb some of the alcohol I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Sam’s Corner, which has surprisingly decent food, although let’s face it, everything tastes amazing at 2am after you’ve been out drinking all night, doesn't it?!

Ryan's Extracurricular Activities:

So it's about 7 pm and you've already had dinner, what now?

If you are in Myrtle Beach you must play putt-putt.  The best place is Mount Atlanticus.  Awesome views of the beach on the last hole and a fun theme.  Great music too!  True story, whilst playing golf Shannon says to Ryan - "I like the music here."  Ryan "oh yeah that Lieutenant Kije by Prokofiev; he also wrote Peter and the Wolf." Shannon "cool, how do you know that?"  Ryan "uh er, I don't know, I just like it; I think I played it in high school once." (Ha, I used that music on the blog once, that's why I knew it but what a dumb time to try to be smart).

Actually do Mt Atlanticus one day when you are not going to the beach, you'll never get on the course at 7 pm.

What you need to do at night is go to Family Kingdom.  There is no admissions charge and you can just buy the kiddies a very reasonably priced all day wrist band and let them loose (within reason, make sure they don't run into Kenny *ucking Powers or any other pack of degenerate rednecks from Shelby or Greenville).  Hint, try to hook up with some stranger with a SC driver's license and get them to buy you discount "local's" tickets!

Another great non-beach day trip is Brook Green Garden's.  Now let me preface this, it sucks (if you are like me)!  But if your lady is into pretty flowers and naked statues of satyrs with a bulging penis then this might make her happy and even better horny for later on that night.  Go ahead and take her, you'll wish you were on the golf course while you are there but hopefully you will get paid back later.

And guys speaking of golf, don't go anywhere too near Myrtle as they mostly suck.  But there are some really nice one's close by - my fav is probably Aberdeen in Longs, SC.

Victoria's Parting Wisdom!:  Anyway, that’s the Carolina coast from this girl’s point of view. Whatever you do, don’t forget that beach sex is highly over rated!! I’m just saying!   :)

Ryan's Final Thoughts:  Victoria I'm with you there babe!  Sex on the beach is great looking in pornos but in reality when sand meets the sweaty/sticky by product of human intercourse there is a lot of messy abrasive outcomes.  My recommendation is to use beach time for foreplay.  A little light kissing mixed with some nice sun tan oil massages is the perfect precursor to a nice warm after-beach shower with your preferred partner.  Follow that with an after shower aloe massage and then enjoy some wonderful air conditioned sex in the condo overlooking the Inner-Coastal waterway or ocean or who cares you're screwing keep focused on each other!

So there you have it.  Ryan's (and Victoria's) Myrtle Beach!  This was a true joy, like Anthony Bourdain meets East Bound and Down!

More phallic images for you ladies

Hey and one other thing to remember.  When you are going to or coming back from Myrtle Beach make sure you stop at a Smithfield BBQ along I-95.  Preferably the actual original one in Smithfield but if you don't want to invest the 20 minutes to drive off the highway there are a few franchises along the highway.  Go platter with that special Carolina-style BBQ, hushpuppies, and the world's best potato salad.  Great sweet tea here as well and finish it off with a cup of Banana Pudding that is almost as good as bad sex!

Ryan's Duets - Put Me in Coach, I'm Ready to Play

Ryan’s Duet with Moira

The World Series starts this week and since the Nats are not in it (again as usual) I’ve been thinking about other aspects of baseball. You know there is a tried and true tradition that if your team sucks late in the year you bring up some “young guns” from the minors and see if they can do better than that old dead wood that has been riding the bench all year for you.

Well that is what I’m doing today with my Duet post! This blog is kind of like a piece of drift wood and it needs some young guns to come in and get things exciting!

So today I’m calling up Moira from the proverbial blogging bullpen.  Moira actually does not have a blog but has been following mine for some time.  Now as any of you know who do occasionally correspond with me I am wickedly kinky-erotic over e-mail! NOT! Actually Moira and I are usually talking about sports or music.  In fact, if you like me at all you'll love her; she talks in sports and music quote form but is way cooler (and hotter)!  :)

But knowing that this lovely lady does enjoy sports I thought she might enjoy contributing here - lord knows I need it!

Of course using my "bringing them up from the minors" analogy as a metaphor for a co-post with this fine lady is probably an insult to her as she is a very humorous writer. As you will see she truly brought the "A-game" and added some "major mojo" to the blog today!  Perhaps for Moira writing on this blog is more like getting sent down to the minors for re-hab or worse yet trying to make a come-back like Kenny Powers in the Mexican leagues after burning out on fame and drugs! Well Kenny would be an insult to her as well, his brand of style and intellect is more in line with “your’s truly!” :)

But you might think, “why am I throwing a new blogger into the fire on such short notice after doing Duets with experienced bloggers before?” Well really I’m doing it for a reason. See this is how to think about it like a guy. Or rather make excuses like a guy!
 

Here goes:

You really want to be ready for a lady’s first time. You know it's kind of like that story I heard once about 3 Furry Bears and some Blond chick. I think the moral was the first time is too hot or too fast, the second time is too slow or too cold, and finally the third time is JUST RIGHT.



Think about your "First Time." Was it all fireworks and rockets and Carpenter's songs in the background? No it was probably more like a Motorhead song - weird and mechanical (sung by some crazy bearded English dude named Lemmie). I wouldn't want to be a Lemmie for Moira!

Because I care for them so much (and btw, I've already gotten what I wanted from Sassy and Mrs B) I wanted to do it with her "just right!"

So rather than me apologizing for waiting several months to do a Duet with a blog-virgin I think she should be thankful that I was considerate enough to do it with everyone else until I learned how to get it right enough to be with her!

And I think all you ladies should be thanking me for "keepin' it real" and giving you a window into the warped world of the male mind. See with me it's always about YOU! :)
 

But what are we talking about today. Oh right! Well, it's October and as I said that means MLB World Series.

So let's talk about:

Why is Ashley Madison like baseball (or other sports)?!

 

Moira's Take - I'll be honest, when Ryan asked if I would join him in writing about baseball and Ashley Madison adventures, I seriously thought the man was on drugs. No, I'm not on AM and I'm actually "trying" to navigate through virgin waters with my first paramour. So, yeah...this is my rookie year.

Now, I like baseball, but FOOTBALL is my thing. My little romance kind of reminds me of my beloved Bronco's 2011 season with Tebow at the helm.  We went 8-8, and it was exciting, nerve racking, and embarrasing all at the same time, despite knowing full well that it would never "really" work.  Starting 1-4, I was ready to just throw in the towel and sign up for 3 months of salsa lessons. Then, Tebow "magic" reeled me back in.  As exhilarating as that season was, I would never want Tebow back on our roster. Too stressful, and in hind sight a total mind fuck.  A real "Jesus Take the Wheel" situation.

 

On the other hand, let's look at someone like Drew Brees. Maybe a bit on the shorter side, not your "typical" QB build...but still able to get the job done without making you reach for a handful of xanax in the process. Brees, was jilted by San Diego...deemed unable to take them to a Super Bowl, went on to New Orleans and was AWESOME. He made grabbing a world championship ring look effortless, then surpassed Unitas' 52 year long record for consecutive TDs/game, while playing with an interim coach at that!! (In your face Chargers!) You know what you're getting with a proven winner like Brees. It's like in that Coldplay song..."I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemies' eyes."  Brees knows what it is like to be the king. Forget about Jesus!! Don't you want to Viva la Vida?!? It's FUN and easy to be with Drew Brees, you can't help but love the man. It just *might* take a bit more patience and effort to be with that proven winner, but worth it in the end.

Like football, affairs do provide a great escape...nothing is guaranteed, and in the end...it's *just* a game, you can't get too emotional about it, yeah?
 

About Moira:  "I have a tattoo of myself, but only bigger. I always avoid alliteration at all times. I frequently speak of the "pompitous of love." I am currently the reigning International Gold Medalist champion in extreme origami. I grew up a 'Niners fan, but when my father passed I found a new man with a new team. It was easier to embrace his Broncos, one of those "compromises" you make in a relationship. So, I've been bleeding blue & orange for over 15 years. I love music...the classics, modern, experimental, with or without words, catchy, fast, slow...all of it. There are so many of life's ill moments that have been buffed away by blaring some great tunes and dancing around the house. Thank God for music & dancing. As the Queen of Silly City, when I'm not trolling the blogosphere or honing my haiku battling skillz, I can be found laughing and playing with my kids."

Ryan's Take - First of all, OMG; Moira really nailed it, didn't she!  I loved her Tebow analogy, he is truly a strange combination of "livin' la vida loco" and "Jesus take the wheel!"  And did you catch Moira's bio, did that sound like Ryan with a vagina or what!
 

So have you ever heard of Buddy Biancalana?
 

Well, you are probably saying now:  "No, I have no frickin' clue who Buddy Biancalana is and I couldn't give a *hit who he is for that matter but I bet that idiot Beaumont is going to go ahead and tell me who he is anyway! And btw what does he have to do with Ashley Madison!"
 

And of course you are right.

 

 

But here goes:

 

 

Buddy Biancalana was a utility infielder with the Kansas City Royals on their World Series Championship team of 1986. He was instrumental in the Royals victory that year with an on-base % of 0.435 during the Series. He achieved notoriety that year additionally when David Letterman started doing a countdown of his hits toward breaking Pete Rose's all time hit record. It was of course a big joke as Buddy had a lifetime hitting average of 0.205. But what does that really mean? Well, it's this; as I was telling my college buddy once. I'll bet somewhere in Larkspur, CA (Buddy's hometown), in spite of his poor hitting in the Majors, there are a couple of old men talking about how Buddy Biancalana was the greatest ball-play they ever saw in person.

And of course his wiki proves that exact fact as he was recently elected into the Redwood High School Athletic Hall of Fame.  You see even a weak hitting spoof worthy shortstop may well appear as super-human whilst walking among us mortals.
 

But thinking about Buddy I realize why Ashley Madison is in fact like baseball. You see to read my blog you'd think I was a master at this Ashley Madison game. But like Buddy I failed most of the time, in fact WAAAY more than Buddy. I've probably written well over 100 AM notes but only had sex with 4 women. Piss-poor average I'd say. But in baseball if you can manage to fail 67% of the time you'll be in the Hall of Fame!



No matter how getting home = 1 run!

But baseball is funny, little things do matter. Earlier this year I was watching a game. My team was up by a run in the top of the 9th. Our pitcher walked the 1st batter. No worries, he still is throwing well. In fact he strikes out the second batter. Problem is, the catcher drops the third strike and the runner goes to second. The pitcher then proceeds to throw a wild pitch! Now the game tying run is on third. Low and behold the next batter dinks a check swing into a little bloop single to opposite field and the game is tied. *HIT! And of course the other team won in extra innings.  Our team was better and should have won the game but the other team took advantage of opportunity and won the game.

Taking advantage of opportuny, that's really what AM is all about.  Doing the little things by paying attention to profiles and hitting on what a lady is communicating in her profile. It's being opportunistic and manufacturing runs by making that first meeting exciting and (more importantly) "turn-key" for her. And when needed lay down a bunt and move that runner over the second. That lunch may set you back $50 and you may only get a kiss. But it made her feel good and now the runner (you) is in scoring position!  That second date may be a line drive into the gap or better yet as that famous ESPN Sport Center guy Chris Berman would say "back, back, back, back, back...... GONE!"

So batter up boys. AM is tough and you'll strike out a lot. But take your swings - even Buddy Biancalana hit 6 Major League home runs in his illustrious career!

And take a bit of advice from that awesome Greg Khin song "Madison Avenue Man," with a few of my edits!  :)

"I'm an (Ashley) Madison Man,
I can make your fantasies part of my plan.
I'm an (Ashley) Madison Man,
let me touch your (h)oney with my Madison hands, alright."

"I (give you a) feel (and let you) flow and I'm riding high,
I (clear off the top of) my desk (and do you from) behind.
I put (my ladies) in the cross-town (hotel).
When they close the door it's just the two of us.
I use the magic touch for those special days,
it's dog eat dog (on AM) but I've got (smoother) ways.
Well, I can get results without pushing too hard,
and I can buy (room service) with my plastic card."
 

 

Ryan's Duets - In the Beauty of the Lilies

Christ was born across the sea.

With a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me;

As he died to make men holy, let us die to make men free

While God is marching on.

Ryan's Thoughts, Reflections, and the Best of Gettysburg

For additional thoughts on today please also visit Max at Thoughts from a Mystic Satyr and Shoes at Red Shoe's Chronicles.  Max will be further discussing Gettysburg and Shoes will be talking about the siege of Vicksburg that ended on July 4th, 1863.

 

Check here and here for some interesting new research and perspective on the battle.

 

Thoughts and Reflections:

Today is the 150th anniversary of the culmination of the epic 3 day battle that changed the course of America's greatest challenge and helped forge the nation we would become.  In the pristine hills of South Central Pennsylvania 160,000 young men fought and nearly 8,000 died to protect their ideals.  The area today is picturesque and massive in scope.  It's hard to comprehend the vastness of the battle and the hell those men endured on those fateful days.

However, as I am wont to do so often, I enjoy the small and subtle story lines that drive the outcome of the plot.

High Water Mark on day 3

Early on day 1 a savvy cavalry officer, John Buford, realized the strategic importance of the topography and chose to dismount and fight at great odds against the Confederates emerging from the West.  The engagement was folly but the precious hours bought allowed the Union 1st Corps to emerge and deploy west of the town to further obstruct the progress of that Confederate line.  The general of that corps (John Reynolds, perhaps the Union's best corps commander) would die from wounds received while valiantly directing infantry and artillery.  But fate would be for and against the Union over the next few hours.  A Major General Doubleday would take Reynold's place and hold the line for another few hours.  That Doubleday would go on to greater fame in another field later in life.  The Union line was bolstered by the presents of it's most famous Iron Brigade of hearty Mid-West boys.  But even the Iron Brigade could not hold when boys from North Carolina flanked them.  By the evening the Union had to retreat to ground south of the town.  But the day's action cost the Confederacy dearly in men and time.  The town they won was meaningless against the hills they now looked at to the east and south.  The time won by the Union's vanguard of Buford, Reynolds, Doubleday, and those Iron Brigade men from Indiana and Wisconsin meant that the bulk of the Union army could arrive and deploy overnight along the precious protected high ground overlooking the angelic fields to the southwest of town.  Upon the ground they had just recently won so dearly on Seminary Ridge the Confederates could only look east to Cemetery Ridge and know the hell they would pay the next day.  That first day of action showed that the minutes you give mean something and the interest earned pays in ways you may not know of at the time; but it does mean something.  Little things do matter.

The massive collision of armies on the second day of the battle is beyond the scope of anything that had or probably ever will occur on the North American continent.  The Confederates on the Union left fought bravely and at great cost in actions that transformed beautiful places like a "Peach Orchard" and a "Wheat Field" to "Devil's Den" and "Slaughter Pens."  And yet by the end of the day the Union had refused the line and at the extreme end of the line the battle came down to boys from Alabama charging up a hill at boys from Maine.  Those boys from Maine fought out and tired and out of ammunition finally fixed bayonets and at horrific odds (nearly 2:1) staged a heroic oblique charge down the hill sweeping away the remaining Confederates and shoring up the Union left and preserving the day.  Amid the 160,000 troops engaged a mere 1,000 men from Maine and Alabama determined the fate of the battle on that second day.  Actions like those on Little Round Top show the meaning of the power of 1 and that small things matter in the great scope of life.

And yet life is a collection of irony.  Private Wesley Culp had grown up in that small Pennsylvania town.  Young Wesley apprenticed and learned to make harnesses for horses.  When his employer moved to Virginia so did young Wesley.  At the outbreak of the war Wesley joined his friends in what would become the famed "Stonewall Brigade."  By July, 1863 Wesley was a veteran of many of the great battles of the Eastern Theatre of the War (1st and 2nd Manassas, Fredricksburg, Chancelorsville, and the famous Valley Campaign that forged the indelible image of that famed "Stonewall Brigade").  On the fateful 3rd day of the battle, Wesley Culp and the men of the 2nd Virginia looked up at the hill named after Wesley's paternal uncle.  Wesley and his regiment charged bravely up the hill but Wesley would not make it to the top dieing from his wounds near his family's farm.

To the south of that Culp's Hill engagement the center of the Confederate line 12,500 strong gave one last heroic, yet fateful charge.  Their goal a small "copse of trees."  While a few from Gen. Lewis Armistead's Brigade made it to and briefly broke through the Union lines, they were quickly thwarted and beaten back.   Gen. Armistead was killed in that attack, ironically in front of and quite close to troops commanded by his dear pre-war friend Gen. Winfield Scott Hancock.

I don't know what the life lesson is gained from Young Wesley or Gen. Armistead is, perhaps it's that you really can't go back home.  That's probably not the case, perhaps it's that you never know where life will lead you and amid the massive universe the paradox is that you never know.  So I guess you need to make sure you are living for the little things in life that make it worthwhile.



Civil War "hottie?"

Best of Gettysburg:

Speaking of little things it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't comment on travel or cuisine (no, today's post is not about hooking up with Civil War MILFs).  Although Belle Boyd to the left was quite the little Confederate seductress, bedding many a Yank for a bit of stratgic information!  So since Gettysburg is a place I truly enjoy let me speak about a few out of the way places you might look for if you care to travel to this wonderful place! 


That being said while the battlefield and the central town square are beautiful don't be surprised if you are traveling north along the Emmitsburg or Baltimore Pikes and feel you are traveling through the Jersey Shore of Civil War sites!  One minute you will be looking to your right and see the focal point of Pickett's Charge and then a half mile later you will pass Pop's Battlefield Fries and Ghost Tours.  It's both funny and a guess a bit sad but that is what the selling of history and the commercialization of Gettysburg has become.  But look around and you can find some wonderful spots.

Ryan's Favorite Battlefield Stop (Devil's Den) - If the kids are getting antsy Devil's Den is like a natural playground and they will love climbing all over the rock outcropping.  Although I caution you there are some steep drops if you are not careful.  From Devil's Den you can look up toward Little Round Top.  One of the best known ghost stories is that of the Confederate soldier depicted in Alexander Gardner's famous photo "Confederate Sharpshooter."  Later analysis revealed that the photo was staged and the soldier was moved to the site by the photographic crew (about 40 yards south of the site).  Urban ledgend has it that the Confederate soldier (angered by that indignity) haunts this place.

Ryan's Favorite Restaurant (Dobbin House Tavern) - After a hot day on the battlefield nothing is better than cooling off in the Springhouse Tavern in the basement of the Dobbin House Inn.  It is as if you are stepping back in time as you walk down the staircase into the natural coolness created from the spring.  They have a great selection of sandwiches and all are good.  A must however is the "King's Onion Soup."  This is the best Onion (King rather than French) Soup I have ever tasted.  You must finish with the Colonial Gingerbread with Lemon Sauce.  Before you leave check out the Underground Railroad Museum at the Inn.

Alternate Places Nearby (Emittsburg/Thurmont, MD) - About 20 minutes south of Gettysburg is a wonderful area full of outdoor activities and history.  The Grotto of Lourdes on the campus of Mt. Saint Mary's University is beautiful and tranquil.  It is a replica of it's namesake shrine in France.  If the kiddies are tired of history and tranquility they will love the Catoctin Zoo close by.  The zoo is small and intimate and gives you a much better way to get near exotic animals in a way you can't do at the DC zoo.  Given the elevation it is also not a flaming cauldron of Hell like the DC Zoo in the summer!  If you need something to eat at the end of the day I'd suggest the crab cakes at the Shamrock  Diner also close by.  If you are feeling real adventurous you might just take a little detour to the west of Thurmont  along State Route 77 and see if Barack and Michelle are taking the weekend off at Camp David, I hear they have great Skeet Shooting up there!

As you reflect on the battle and it's meaning take a listen to Johnny Cash's version of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

I heard once that if God has a voice it's likely to sound like Johnny Cash to human ears.  I believe that!