Who's to Say I Can't Do Everything

Two years ago I wrote my December cookie post and used it as a way to announce my retirement at 500 posts (at the low price of 499 posts).

Then, a year later I wrote my actual 500th post and re-announced my retirement with the thought that this was it, knowing (of course) one never says never.

So today I'm not re-announcing my retirement or announcing my un-retirement.  I would say I'm announcing my re-announcement of how tough it is to steer kids through the college selection process, which is a pretty good reason to not retire (in life, not blogging).

Since I wrote a post two years ago, just prior to my first announcement of my retirement, about my first daughter's college selection process; I feel it incumbent to pause my retirement and talk a little about daughter #2's college selection process which, of course, will likely sharply delay my actual (real life) retirement and drives me to want to un-retire from blogging in order to vent!

Maybe I should take a quick pause from this retirement pause and extend the one streak I still have going, my word of the year post.  This year, 2020, as we know has been a real *itch.  As such we really don't have a fun word to spoof.  The pandemic has not given us much fun (and certainly made Ashley Madison Adventures pretty difficult) and of course "pandemic" being the word of the year means there's not much fun in writing about the word of the year.  Anyway, the pandemic really affected us and that's about all I have to say.  Btw, my personal favorite word this year was asynchronous, as in Ryan's posts are usually pretty asynchronous!

Anyway, because of that word of the year, college has been a real wild ride for daughter #1.  She was accepted at her Dream U and we moved her in 1.5 years ago to that sunny happy place.  As I told many friends when asked "how's she doing," I would say if she was having more fun it would be against the law.  She also did well academically, which is sort of important you know!  Her year was cut short from the COVID thing but that was OK.  We enjoyed her being home in April (a month early).  She did move back over the summer, working in paradise but learning that real life is a bitch, and college is great (and better when mom and dad are paying for room and board).  She had a pretty good fall and is now back home for the holidays but looking forward to getting back to the sun.

So let's talk about daughter #2 and her adventures!  And let's look at some new quirky college vernacular:

Academic Qualifier

Rolling Admissions

Roster Size

D3

Accept to Deposit Yield

Merit vs Need Based Aid

Daughter #2 is not, as we might say, a passionate individual.  I think the Gen Z term would be "chill."  Because of that she has never had that #DreamU place in her mind.  Which started out as good because I thought that meant I could talk her into going to Ryan's old Big State U and give me an excuse to go back for football weekends.  BSU would actually be a great place for her as they have just the smelly animal science majors she wants!  In fact, she could make a big impact with one particular unique sport she has been playing since she was 8.  Very few schools play this sport but Big State U is one and while they have a team they are not great.  Which is great for Daughter #2 as she is probably better than the girls who are currently playing.  But BSU is big and she is an introvert so maybe not the best.  And, omg, she might meet a degenerate like me there, so maybe I should talk her into somewhere else!

Hard to walk away from 10-min walk to horses

So daughter #2 is pretty fantastic at sports.  Not great at a particular sport but solidly good at pretty much any sport.  That means the big schools (D1) are not too interested (and being vertically challenged doesn't help either).  But I kind of thought smaller schools (Division 3/D3) might let her play.  So we spent a year talking about it and her ignoring me.  Finally we got some video together and lo and behold a couple of coaches bit.  You see, small college (D3) sports is pretty interesting from a recruiting standpoint.  There are no athletic scholarships but schools still want to win.  So D3 schools are looking for kids that can compete athletically and academically AND get the merit scholarship $'s needed to attract them because most of the D3 schools are small privates with high $ tuition.  And so entered fancy private equestrian school for rich Yankees!  This school is perfect!  Daughter #2 can study big animals every day at their barn and fields AND they SUCK at the two sports she is great at!  Video sent and Bingo, both coaches were interested and all of a sudden Daughter #2 understands that old Dad Ryan may not be completely stupid.  She loves the attention and now wants to play sports in college and understands that maybe it will be helpful if a coach is making sure she studies!  And, oh btw, we have some family connections here and its not too far from BSU, so maybe Ryan gets his football weekends anyway along with watching Daughter #2 play!

They really need someone that can shoot the "3"

But the interest doesn't stop there.  We send video to another school that sucks at sports.  Bingo, another coach is interested!  Maybe she wants quirkly-cool aquatic Chesapeake bay liberal arts college?  In fact this school is even MORE interested.  We actually visited for an Open House two years ago, because Dad Ryan knows what he's talking about but Daughter #2 was bored and said it was too remote.  But now that two coaches are telling her she could play and help them build a program, this place is pretty amazing!  Wow, maybe I just need to work on my college sales pitch.

Amazing architecture, but a little "churchy"

Then she gets accepted to the three Florida sunshine colleges she originally said she was interested in to be closer to Daughter #1.  And wow, the scholarship $'s are pretty good.  But they are D2 schools, not big time but interested enough in winning to offer scholarships.  At those schools, short may not work for sport #1 and these fancy schools are recruiting Martina Navratilova's for their country club sports, so athletics may not be an option here.  Which of course was not important a year ago but now it is so these may be off the list.  Ryan is not too disappointed except it removes an excuse to go to Florida.

Oh, btw, did I mention that a year ago I made some calls and got Daughter #2 an opportunity to practice with Big State U's unique equestrian sport that she is good at and they are not?  Yeah, if she can get in, she can do that.  Seems like attention is only bad when Dad Ryan does it.

Cool beach scene, maybe too "earthy"

So while its nice to be wanted, now we have to decide who to play for and what to study.  Actually all are a fine academic fit and pretty good schools, so at this point I guess I just need to let her do her thing and maybe, just maybe, she can do everything!

But folks, get those kids practicing at dancing, violin, hockey, or even video games (yep, you wouldn't believe it but colleges have video game teams now) there are scholarship $'s out there to be had and not everybody has to go broke to pay for a degree if you have some skills to sell!

But damn, I just wish I could have one child who could give me an excuse to go back and party at Big State U again!

For now, Happy New Year and may 2021 be everything that 2020 wasn't!  And maybe I have another post in me about Daughter #1 now.

"Upside down

Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found

I don't want this feeling to go away

Please don't go away, please don't go away, please don't go away,

Is this how it's supposed to be

Is this how it's supposed to be

 

I have to admit this song makes me cry.  It's hard to believe I took my (then) 3 and 5 year old daughters this movie and now, 14 years later, they are off and doing their own great things!

Tell Everybody I'm on My Way

Elite w/poolside Moc'tinis!

"New Friends and New Places to See..."

Early Decision
Early Action
Priority Scholarship Deadline
Reach and Safety School/Access Institution
Flagship Institution
Successful Academic Progress
Matriculation
Expected Family Contribution/FAFSA
First Time in College

Big $'s but engaged faculty

Spring to Fall First Year Retention Rate
Six Year Graduation Rate
Mid Career Median Salary
Full Freight
Net Price Calculator
Cleary Report

Over the past year and a half the family and I have been on an arduous journey visiting 15 colleges and universities in six states and DC trying to identify where our eldest will take her next steps in life.  Along the way we have learned, on the fly, a new language one has to become familiar with to gain entrance into this new world of academic higher education.  Granted, I've lived my whole life around higher education.  In fact two of my all time favorite posts have been about colleges and college towns.

Elite and it shows!

How getting into college is like meeting people on Ashley Madison
Ryan's World Wide college town tour

However, everything certainly seems quite different as a parent and seeing all of this through the eyes of my daughter.

As cool when football sucks?

Getting a job is what is most important so is the mid-year median income of that school's grads the most important factor?  But if they don't enjoy college they will never make it to graduation day so maybe spring to fall retention for "first time in college freshmen" is most important?  They are in college to learn but if they don't like the food and where they live they won't be happy and won't be able to focus on their studies so maybe Princeton Review's rating of "Best College Dining Services" is important.  And if the food sucks on Saturday night is she going to need a lot of extra $'s for Chipotle?  That could be a big $ suckage!  Classes are Monday through Friday but if they are lonely on the weekend they will want to come home and won't build an affinity towards the campus and thus won't progress towards graduation so maybe campus life is kind of important (and dang I sure would like to see Zedd for Homecoming).  But then again, it really is about learning so how connected are the faculty to their students, will Professor X really know who she is, and are there really great experiential learning opportunities beyond the classroom because that is what she really wants.  Study Abroad, should we be interested?  And then what is all this about Title IX, the Cleary Report, the Dear Colleague Letter; I thought this little college town seemed so safe?  Is safety really important?  Probably is and can I really believe those reports on the institution's web page?  Maybe I should be reading "College Confidential" blogs?  She wants to go far away to a sunny place for college, what are the hidden costs we don't now foresee like flights home over fall break?  And OMG, I live paycheck to paycheck but the Federal Government (FAFSA) thinks Shannon and I are doing fine and dandy and will have no problem signing $50K checks to good old Fancy U (google EFC)!

Oh wait, we have to get into these schools first!!!

S-A-F-E-T-Y, Safety DANCE!

That one with the great median mid-year income for graduates has a 30% acceptance rate.  With her grades and SAT she only has a 50/50 chance of getting in.  Can dance and Early Decision put her over the line.  Yes, Early Decision that big one chip gamble on the college of your dreams.  Early Decision, Early Action, Application Deadline to be considered for merit scholarship; so many strategies to consider.  We have come to understand and rue the tangled web of decisions needed in today's murky world of college applications.  If she doesn't get into her dream school what school can she get into that will make her happy and won't cost a ridiculous sum of money to a school with lesser cache!  It's one thing to lay out $65K to an Ivy League school but I ain't paying $65K/year just because they have a ropes course and Taco Tuesday on the Quad!  Although now that I think about it I would like to visit and enjoy that Lazy River myself, why didn't they have this stuff when I was in college!

Anyway, because of our life and lives this process, though stressful, has to a degree become a collage of our entire life.  We started off where Shannon and I first met and got to re-experience what we loved about that place.  We visited my Big State U.  We finished our long magical mystery tour two weekends ago at two schools that are in the heart of where our girls have come to love.  Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party was a way to put a smiling enjoyable exclamation point onto a somewhat scary, apprehensive process that in the end is what we've all been looking forward to for a long time.

Chipotle @Union but suitcase campus 

But as a parent this is very tough.  I have spent the last 17 years of my life trying to take care of this individual.  Now, as we face college, I understand that going forward for the rest of my life there will be more days I don't see her than days I do.  Though heartbreaking its also exhilarating to imagine what her life will become.


In the end all you can do is hope you've established firm ground for your kids to start life upon.  Dang, I am glad my younger one loves Big State U as much as I do and doesn't want to go anywhere else so we don't have to go through all this BS again.  I'm done!

"Tell everybody I'm on my way
and I'm loving every step I take.
With the sun beating down yes
I'm on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face......"

Myrtle Beach Days, We'll Have Some Fun in the Waves

Ryan's Best of Myrtle Beach
and Duet with Victoria Jaynes

One of my favorite topics on this blog over the years has been discussing travel, food, and vacations. That has often taken the form of "how to's" and recommendations related to Disney vacations.  I'm not doing that today because I've not been to Disney in the last few months.  However, I'd like to talk about a place I'll be returning to in a month that has been a big part of my life over the years.  The other thing that make's today's post so fun is that the other thing I love doing are co-posts and today I'm joined by my friend Victoria Jaynes who is dipping her toes into the ocean of blogging so to speak.  Victoria is also an expert in all things Carolina!

Ryan's Take:  When you grow up in my part of the country going to Myrtle Beach is a right of passage for high school seniors.  Back then it was a right of my passage and it continues to be a right of yearly family passage now.

So with that in mind I'd like to share with you some of my Myrtle Beach favorites which, because it's me, means out of the way, off the beaten path, and perhaps a little against the grain and most certainly not particularly expensive or during the dinner rush!

Victoria's Take:   I've been chatting with Mr. Beaumont ever since I first contemplated joining AM almost two years ago, when I discovered his blog and spent way too long reading it almost in its entirety, because he seriously makes me laugh. So when he asked me to give my local girls perspective on navigating Myrtle Beach I was pretty excited, and more than happy to comply… except he’d pretty much covered all of the places I was going to suggest.

These days my family, with the exception of the teenagers who still like to cruise the strip, steers clear of Myrtle Beach in favor of the more family friendly Garden City/ Murrells Inlet area. What a lot of people don’t realize is that what makes it so amazing is that houses on the Inlet side are far superior to the houses on the beach because you've really got the best of both worlds going on here. 

Your backyard looks like this!

You can bring along your boat or jet skis, you go fishing right in your backyard and at night, you can sit out on your very own dock and stargaze with a cocktail, then go back out with your coffee the next morning and watch the blue heron catch fish in low tide. Pretty awesome stuff! And hey! If you’re lucky enough to have your guy or girl there along with you, you can totally make out or whatever in private at night too. ;) And here’s a fun fact, during low tide, you can go out in the marsh and if you’ve got a good eye, you can still find bullets from P52 Mustang scraping runs during WW2. Pretty cool, right?

Then, when you’re ready to hit the beach you can grab your cooler and a towel, and go out your front door and you’ve got a view like this:

The beach is just a couple of dodged golf carts away! And, by the way, if you want the true Carolina experience you’ll have boiled peanuts, and pimento cheese sandwiches packed in that cooler along with the beverages of your choice (hey Victoria don't forget to wash that down with Cheer Wine!).  

Useless Ryan Info:

Myrtle Beach is part of what's known as the Grand Strand, a 60+ mile stretch of wide beaches from Little River to Georgetown on the coast of South Carolina and haven and spiritual destination to the masses of America's Mid and South East Atlantic middle class (hint - it ain't the Hamptons).  Myrtle Beach is home to wonderful beaches, great restaurants, golf, and is the birthplace of "shagging."   And for you Brits out there that doesn't mean us Yanks first learned to screw on the beaches of South Carolina, "shagging" here is a dance.

Because Myrtle Beach has a north-south orientation with only one main artery traversing the beach, it is home to some pretty miserable traffic though, particularly at supper time (that's dinner if you don't live in the south)!  So I always plan my days there with a quote from a famous Civil War general who said "get there fustest with mostest." Yeah, his grammar was about as good as mine but he meant get where you need to go early and beat those dang Yankees to the wing bar happy hour.

But with that in mind let's look at a typical Ryan day at the beach!

Food!

Ryan's Take:

Morning - wake up 7'ish and stretch those legs with a nice walk and then shower.  Come back and roust the girls up for breakfast.  The first thing to learn about Myrtle Beach is that breakfast is the best meal of the day at the beach. While Myrtle has some nice restaurants I can't say any are really "haute cuisine," so go for kitschy casual to get the best value.  Some of the best places to visit are best visited in the morning and you better do so early because the golfers and ill behaved families from Charlotte descend by 9 am.

Some of our favorites are:

Dino's (North Myrtle) - Great pancakes!  Also all your breakfast egg platters, etc.  Decent coffee, quick service, low cost, easy in and out - all Ryan favs!

Boulineau's (Little River) - If you prefer ultra quick service, cheap, and a la carte and you need some sun tan oil, a six pack, a beach paddle game, batteries, the wife needs (well you know) and Motrin for your hang-over you can get it all here.  It's mostly a grocery/hardware/gift store but they have great biscuits and grits too!  It's like the Gay Dolphin on steroids (we'll talk about the Gay Dolphin later).

the Sea Captain's House (Myrtle) - Of all the breakfast places listed this is my least favorite.  It's mostly buffet which I detest (I always order off the menu).  But it has a great view of the beach and nothing is more relaxing than drinking my morning coffee and watching the tits,  I mean waves along the beach.

Now that you're done with breakfast I suggest getting out to the beach early.  If you are there by 10 am you can get your day in before you melt or burn to a crisp.  You also get first dibs on umbrellas and chairs, which is important if you want to strategically locate for best MILF viewing.  Honestly though, as much as I enjoy the beach I always feel like I'm just trying to get it out of the way.  By 1 pm I'm ready to pack it in, rinse the sand out of my balls, and head for lunch.

This picture is for you Kat!

Did someone say lunch?  OK here are some great places.

Peaches (Downtown) - I hate downtown Myrtle Beach.  Loved it as a teen but now that I'm adult I hate it for all those *od-Damned teenagers! But going to Peaches for a hot dog is a must each trip to the beach at some point.  And of course while there you can stop by and see the Gay Dolphin.  And by Gay Dolphin I don't mean Dolphins have evolved into being advocates for marriage equality, it just means happy.  Also if you are down there you can stop by the Bowery and curse Burroughs and Chapin for tearing down the Pavilion! Bastards!

For a much better lunch travel inland to Conway and eat at the Trestle.  They have awesome soup, sandwiches, the best sweat tea (next to Chick-fil-A) in the world, and have a wonderful bakery as well two doors down.  Walk that meal off along the Waccamaw River, a gorgeous route along the river with Southern genteel charm.

After lunch it's back home for a quick dip in the pool and then on to nap time from about 2:30 to 3:45 for Ryan.

Keeping General Forest's quote above in mind get out for dinner early (5:30 pm at the latest).  Traffic on Rt - 17 will be a bitch by 6 pm (btw when going north and south always think about going inland and using Rt 31 to get where you need to go).

OK so dinner if you are into Macaroni Grille, Chili's etc stay in Myrtle Beach.  If you want any pizzaz go north or south and stay away from "Restaurant Row," home to overpriced seafood buffets picked over by little booger eaters from Raleigh.  My favorite place is north in Little River.

Crab Catchers (Little River) - Make sure you bring your appetite for all-you-can-eat crabs, hush puppies, slaw, etc.  And get there early if you want to eat on the deck and watch the fishing boats come in.  This place gets packed quick.  It's not fancy but it's good!

At the other end of the Grand Strand is Frank's in Pawley's Island.  This is where you might actually get some real and elegant Carolina Low-Country cuisine and fresh caught seafood.  A Ryan-style favorite would be the pan-fried Shrimp and Grouper with Tomatoes and Scallions over Grits - YUM!  They also have some great small plates if you a cross training for a marathon or something stupid like that (this is vacation after all).

You're in my head Victoria!

Victoria's Take:  When dinner time comes around here you can pick up some local shrimp, crab, and spicy onion sausage and make a pot of low country boil, or what we call Frogmore Stew which in my opinion no beach trip should be without.

Seriously, it’s amazing and ridiculously easy. The best part is that to serve it, you just dump it onto the middle of a table covered in newspaper, and pass around crusty bread, butter and beer. What could be better?

But, if that’s too much to ask you can always head across the inlet on your boat to one of the many truly amazing seafood restaurants along the Marshwalk.

They have the most bizarre names, but in my opinion, it’s also some of the best seafood in the area. And there is plenty of night life too.

And then later, when you’re looking for some late night fare to absorb some of the alcohol I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Sam’s Corner, which has surprisingly decent food, although let’s face it, everything tastes amazing at 2am after you’ve been out drinking all night, doesn't it?!

Ryan's Extracurricular Activities:

So it's about 7 pm and you've already had dinner, what now?

If you are in Myrtle Beach you must play putt-putt.  The best place is Mount Atlanticus.  Awesome views of the beach on the last hole and a fun theme.  Great music too!  True story, whilst playing golf Shannon says to Ryan - "I like the music here."  Ryan "oh yeah that Lieutenant Kije by Prokofiev; he also wrote Peter and the Wolf." Shannon "cool, how do you know that?"  Ryan "uh er, I don't know, I just like it; I think I played it in high school once." (Ha, I used that music on the blog once, that's why I knew it but what a dumb time to try to be smart).

Actually do Mt Atlanticus one day when you are not going to the beach, you'll never get on the course at 7 pm.

What you need to do at night is go to Family Kingdom.  There is no admissions charge and you can just buy the kiddies a very reasonably priced all day wrist band and let them loose (within reason, make sure they don't run into Kenny *ucking Powers or any other pack of degenerate rednecks from Shelby or Greenville).  Hint, try to hook up with some stranger with a SC driver's license and get them to buy you discount "local's" tickets!

Another great non-beach day trip is Brook Green Garden's.  Now let me preface this, it sucks (if you are like me)!  But if your lady is into pretty flowers and naked statues of satyrs with a bulging penis then this might make her happy and even better horny for later on that night.  Go ahead and take her, you'll wish you were on the golf course while you are there but hopefully you will get paid back later.

And guys speaking of golf, don't go anywhere too near Myrtle as they mostly suck.  But there are some really nice one's close by - my fav is probably Aberdeen in Longs, SC.

Victoria's Parting Wisdom!:  Anyway, that’s the Carolina coast from this girl’s point of view. Whatever you do, don’t forget that beach sex is highly over rated!! I’m just saying!   :)

Ryan's Final Thoughts:  Victoria I'm with you there babe!  Sex on the beach is great looking in pornos but in reality when sand meets the sweaty/sticky by product of human intercourse there is a lot of messy abrasive outcomes.  My recommendation is to use beach time for foreplay.  A little light kissing mixed with some nice sun tan oil massages is the perfect precursor to a nice warm after-beach shower with your preferred partner.  Follow that with an after shower aloe massage and then enjoy some wonderful air conditioned sex in the condo overlooking the Inner-Coastal waterway or ocean or who cares you're screwing keep focused on each other!

So there you have it.  Ryan's (and Victoria's) Myrtle Beach!  This was a true joy, like Anthony Bourdain meets East Bound and Down!

More phallic images for you ladies

Hey and one other thing to remember.  When you are going to or coming back from Myrtle Beach make sure you stop at a Smithfield BBQ along I-95.  Preferably the actual original one in Smithfield but if you don't want to invest the 20 minutes to drive off the highway there are a few franchises along the highway.  Go platter with that special Carolina-style BBQ, hushpuppies, and the world's best potato salad.  Great sweet tea here as well and finish it off with a cup of Banana Pudding that is almost as good as bad sex!

Scary Monsters, and Super Creeps!

I don't travel for a living but I am proud that I have traveled a lot in my life and lived in different parts of the country.  I am almost never intimidated or feel uncomfortable by being in a different big city. I've driven in Manhattan and downtown Chicago and DC.  I've been to places like St. Augustine, FL and New Orleans that seem as if they are foreign countries.  Heck, I've been to foreign countries and places that don't speak English regularly like Montreal.

But one place just never quite seems comfortable.  It's not that it's a bad place because I love to visit - it is in fact an amazing place.  The inhabitant's faces look just like mine and even speak my language (sometimes).  But stepping off the plane in this one particular place doesn't feel like I'm walking into a foreign country.

No, whenever I'm here I feel like I'm having a Neil Armstrong moment.  "One small step for Ryan, one small step onto Planet California!"  Yeah, California is part of the United States but whenever I'm here it really does feel like a different planet.  So join me on -

Ryan's Scary California Adventure!

First of all let's take a look at the inhabitants of Planet California, seeing as I love to people watch.

*     Professional dress in California apparently is jeans that aren't ripped and a collard shirt.  Oh wait, simple professional means that shirt is not tucked in; tucked in would probably only be for formal business occasions like meeting with your plastic surgeon or pet aroma-therapist!  Business casual appears to be sandals and a "clean" surfing shirt.

*     Obviously there are a lot of great looking women out here.  In fact everyone looks healthy.  I think the thing that sets California apart is that the women in their 40's and 50's are still looking like sorority girls.  Back East around the age of 32 women's hair automatically reduces into a cute "mom-bob" or at most one of those "Jennifer Anniston shoulder length deals."  In Cali I see women who I assume are well into their 40's or even 50's and 60's dressed in tight yoga pants and with platinum blond hair that is perfectly curled and coiffured and hangs down half way from their shoulders to their perfectly zumba'ized ass!  I'm glad there is still a place where people are so self absorbed that they only have time for their hair, toning their ass, and getting a perfect tan!  I think Ronald Reagan said something about that once or was he cautioning us about socialized medicine, IDK?   :)

*     Did I mention everyone is too damned happy out here!  I'm happy most of the time as well but on the East Coast I feel I need a healthy daily dose of stress.  I'm reminded of Captain Kirk's quote to Spock's hippie brother in Star Trek III or XII (one of those) when he said "I need my pain, my pain makes me part of who I am!"  I don't know call me skeptical but anyone who smiles while going through airport security is either nuts, possessed with the Devil, or lives in California I guess.

That ass was in the Cali Screaming line!

*     Wow, Fox news likes to say one of those I states (Indiana or Idaho, not sure which) is the real America but out here?  This is the real melting pots.  Meet the Smiths in California and dad is Asian, mom is part Hispanic and Indo-Asian with Italian ancestry, and they apparently have adopted one kid from Africa and one from Ireland.  Actually, I have no clue where the kids are from I'm just looking at mom's Kim Kardashian ass with Angelina Jolia cheekbones - 'effin HOT!  I like it.

*     In my part of the world we have 4 seasons.  Summer is in July, fall in October, winter in January, and Spring in April.  Out here winter last until about 9 am in the morning (which they call 6 am in California; yes I'm still on east coast time), summer is at 2 pm, and then it goes back to winter around 9 pm (which we call Midnight on the East coast).  Yeah, I'm always totally *ucked up out here until the day I fly back and then I'm *ucked up back home for 3 more days!  But it is fun.

Awesome ride!

Oh well we did get over the Disney the other day.  I love California Adventure.  If you get out here Cars Land is a MUST!  LOVE it!  And I'm not a roller coaster guy but California Screaming is an awesome ride.  Although I was sure I was going to have to go K-Mart shopping during the ride (get it,? you know, "ship my pants")!  :)

Btw, I once said the Dole Whip float in Adventureland is the next best thing to sex.  And I found out it is, because I had to wait 40 minutes in line and pay outrageous amounts of cash to get some but once I started licking and sucking it down my suddenly liquidity aroused throat, I was delighted to have it.  And also btw that is closest thing I'll be getting to sex out here as Shannon is still way chillier!

Anyway, it was a scary adventure out here, but fun.  I also learned that if there are ghosts they are the imprints of souls that have adhered to a specific place over time, lingering over the years yet unable to communicate with those that are moving through time past their space.  In that they are like images on a projector that we may glimpse for a moment but will never speak to and similarly to them we, in the living world, may well be animated images moving past their space and time.  And yet I have hopes that those ghost as they float in the mist of time encounter other ghosts to move forward with.  This has been a weird few days and I have felt like a ghost or perhaps seen ghosts.  As Halloween approaches I have in this past day been haunted by the ghosts of my past as I have perhaps haunted them walking down the halls of this conference facility.  And yet as I have walked past the ghosts (or humans) of my past, this ghost has latched onto new ghosts (or humans) to network with and move forward with in my time.

I know that makes no sense and furthermore I never write off the cuff on impulse.  But that is where I am today.

"When I looked in her eyes they were blue but nobody home.
She could have been a killer if she didn't walk the way she do
and she do.
She opened strange doors
that we'd never close again."

More to come on my California Adventure.  Surely it is worth one of my bi-annual Disney food posts although it may not come for a few months.

But for now enjoy some Scary Monsters with David Bowie and

Happy Halloween!

Your Grace Provides for Me

A Love Story

Or Here in Higglytown We'll All Jump Around

You know a lot of bloggers out there have multiple blogs so if they love sports, or knitting, or travel, or politics they can get that out of their system in their other blogs.  Me, I barely can keep up with one so I have taken out my miscellaneous rants on politics, puffed out my chest on sports, and sometimes mentioned my family and vacations here.  This is all I "gots" so it is what it is.

Just draw it!

So my girls are starting to grow up.  We have traded Barnie for Selena and Little Einsteins for Lemonade Mouth.  It got me to reminiscing about the music I used to listen to with them in the car and I even started to write a "where are they now" post in my head.  For instance that quote above "here in Higglytown" is from the title song to that Disney cartoon.  That theme song btw was performed by They Might Be Giants, a fairly well known Alternative Rock group from the late 80's.  You know Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo fame is in that Nick Jr show Yo Gabba Gabba.  And Tim Fin of Split Enz fame often performed with the Wiggles in the early 2000's.  Maybe I should jump on board and give up all this chasing women stuff and retire to writing children's books!

But it got me to thinking further about a song that I have always associated with "my girls."

As an aside, Ryan has become somewhat of a character or alternative personality.  Of course everything of what he/I talk(s) about is true (just changed names with some slight embellishments) but he does tend to be separate from the actual me (who will continue to remain nameless) much like my adventures described here remain separate from the me of my day to day life.

Anyway, I tend to constantly self assess.  Life is pretty good right now but I've recently felt a bit restless (obviously or I wouldn't be writing a blog called the Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad).  I've been thinking, are these the best of times?  If so, why?  If not, why?  And if not, when were they the best of times, and why?

The end result of my analysis was that things are basically pretty good.  But my analysis reminded me of a time when I know I felt really good about myself.  Perhaps not so much as a guy but as a person and more importantly as a father.  And so I come to my point of describing the loves of my life; my daughters.

Way back several years ago when I first came to this little bedroom community outside of DC and started to enjoy this easier career and life and while Shannon's career was taking off I got the greatest gift I have ever known.  That is the responsibility of taking care of my daughters.  Not just simply shuttling to daycare and ballet but really being there for them.  And though that time is fond to me now when I analyzed it I realized it was pretty tough at the time.  I had a new job, we had a new home, Shannon was in the midst of an affair and was threatening divorce.

Through this time I often wondered if I was providing for my daughters or if they were providing for me.

I tend to force a lot of classic country on my daughters when they are not demanding their preferred Disney Channel on XM radio.  But back in these years I am describing I had more control so I was able to induce them to enjoy the Dixie Chicks and Allison Krauss and other bluegrass groups I enjoy.

So back to that song I alluded to above, one AKUS song always stuck out for me and it is the title of this post.  The song "In the Palm of Your Hand" describes her faith.  But for me it so aptly described what I felt for my daughters and how their "grace" constantly provided for me.

I can't imagine my life "without the love that (their) life brings (me)."


Their "grace will (always) see me through."


Their "faith" in me "can see right through the circumstances, sees the forest in spite of the trees."


Their "grace provides for me."

Barbara Mandrell has a song called "Child Care."  It's about divorce and how she gets child care from her former husband but the best child care she received was from her son who took care of her emotionally.

Please take a listen to this beautiful Allison Krauss song below.

Btw, the guy tapping on the guitar in this vid is Dan Tyminski who was George Clooney's character's voice in the song "Man of Constant Sorrow" (by the Soggy Bottom Boys) in the movie "O Brother Where Art Thou."

"In The Palm Of Your Hand"

If I could have the world and all it owns
A thousand kingdoms, a thousand thrones
If all the earth were mine to hold
With wealth my only goal

I'd spend my gold on selfish things
Without the love that Your life brings
Just a little bit more is all I'd need
'Til life was torn from me

I'd rather be in the palm of Your hand
Though rich or poor I may be
Faith can see right through the circumstance
Sees the forest in spite of the trees
Your grace provides for me

If I should walk the streets no place to sleep
No faith in promises You keep
I'd have no way to buy my bread
With a bottle for my bed

But if I trust the One who died for me
Who shed His blood to set me free
If I live my life to trust in You
Your grace will see me through

I'd rather be in the palm of Your hand
Though rich or poor I may be
Faith can see right through the circumstance
Sees the forest in spite of the trees

If I could have the world
If I could have the world and all it owns