Juliet When We Made Love You Used to Cry

You know when you mess around on AM and worse yet you start to blog about it you can get a little jaded about love and relationships.  But I am the eternal optimist.  In my life I have seen that while humans have a limitless ability to do mean and stupid things, they also can do the most amazing things that just send your heart aflutter!

Wait Ryan the first paragraph gave me no sense that you were:  1 - going to talk about sex (which of course you rarely do) or Ashley Madison, 2 - food (which as you may know the biggest food holiday is in two days), or 3 - sports.  If you are not going to talk about that stuff then what else are you even remotely qualified to talk about (as if you were even qualified to talk about the listed points either)!  Surely you are not going to talk about lovey dovey feeling stuff.  What in the world would you know about that for Christ sake!

OK, you're right, I'm going to talk about sports! 

I love this time of year, perhaps even more than bowl games.  This is the time of year for those epoch state rivalry games.  I like them even better than bowl games because at bowl games everybody is happy to be there and even if your team loses hopefully you had the chance to get drunk and laid in New Orleans or Miami or well Shreveport for that matter (who cares you got drunk and laid)!  However, in contrast those end of the year rivalry games offer joy, hate, glory, triumph, and perhaps even redemption all wrapped up into one.  When redemption and glory are on the line, well, you know a game means something.  For example Big State U plays our big state rival this week.  Even though our rival truly sucks I still will watch and hopefully enjoy BSU doling out another generous helping of butt kickage because BSU's rival is such a bunch of snotty pricks.  For me and Big State U fans the game offers an annual dose of pleasure at seeing the bad guys suffer.  However, on the slim chance Big State looses our pretentious snotty rivals will gain a good dose of redemption though they have suffered through a miserable year.  Wouldn't life be great if you could always have a chance at redemption at the end and right all the wrong that had gone on over the past year.

But as I have learned over the year's growing up in the South one state rivalry trumps them all.  This one state lives and breaths football as much as any other but no state has had two teams as competitive over the years as the state of Alabama.  Between the two schools they have won the past four National Championships.  And for that reason the annual Iron Bowl between Auburn and Alabama is the measuring stick for all hate filled state rivalries.  Heck, an Alabama fan actually tried to poison the historic trees on the campus of Auburn University a few years ago.  Now that ain't tree huggin', that's pure old fashioned home cooked hate!

And it is that game that is the background of a true LOVE STORY.

Wait?  Hold on a second!  What happened to the sports?  Psyche, I am talking about lovey dovey stuff - I just sucked you in on the sports!  :)

See this year's Auburn-Alabama game offers the ultimate Romeo and Juliet.  Yet the fact that this love has lasted is even more uplifting than that ancient Shakespearean tail.

You see Katherine Webb, that viral star beauty who conquered Sports Illustrated, reality TV diving competitions and gave Brent Musburger a woody on national TV is in fact an Auburn graduate and her boyfriend is the QB at Alabama.

Now I suppose it's not so unusual to date a guy from a rival school and her boyfriend A.J. McCarron is (I guess) a cute guy to be sure and likely to be the recipient of an NFL contract next spring.  But let me tell you something, that's a Tom Brady body above there buddy!  And A.J. ain't Tom Brady yet.

Ms. Webb could have had about any guy she wanted over the past year.  And by that I mean guys of the Tom Brady/Brad Pitt caliber.

You see Juliet was a sweet girl and her love of Romeo was timeless.  But let's face it Romeo was the fer shizzel in Verona and his family was loaded.  Juliet didn't have the option of hooking up with an NBA star or signing onto a movie deal with some glitzy director/producer.

Which gets me back to the fact that I find it mildly sweet, in even my jaded heart full of spiders, that Ms. Webb still adores her 'bama QB.  In spite of all she could have she stays true to her college beau.  I nearly shed a tear when I read this article about her fears at attending this year's Iron Bowl.

OMG, that hot and willing to forgo the attentions of the rich and famous and willing to face down her Capulet family from Auburn and maintain her star-cross love affair with her Crimson Tided Romeo Montague from U of Alabama.  I am truly touched.

It's times like this that I realize us idiot guys really don't deserve the love of a good women, but thank God we get it sometimes!

Now let's away yonder past Tuscaloosa's McFarland Blvd to Dreamland BBQ or to Toomer's Corner and hug it out!  And for the love of God decide what to call yourselves Crimson Tide, Tigers, Elephants, Eagles you know this split personality thing is never good for any relationship!

That being said based on my deep analytical game analysis, the Tide has too many cool names on their roster including Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Vinnie Sunseri, and Deion Belue to lose.  But that 10.5 point spread is a bit high.  The Tigers beat Johnny Football in College Station and the Tide struggled with that high powered A&M offense.  My tip - Alabama wins but bet the Tigers to beat that spread.


The Montagues:

 

 

The Capulets:



One Shining Moment

Kat's Blog Chain

March Madness - Sex with an Athlete

So Kat has agreed to carry the torch forward another month.  And what a great topic.  As soon as I heard it I thought it was right up my alley.  Of course the problem is I've never had sex with a famous athlete.

Oh no Ryan does that mean you are going to make up some stupid story like you did last November when you'd never screwed a politician?

No, Shannon was a cheerleader and I've dated other cheerleaders.  They are athletes, right?

Well you can't bet on cheerleading so I'm not sure if cheerleading is a skill, art, talent or sport.  Regardless I just like to watch them.

Of course when I really got to thinking about it I realized that if I wanted to talk about sex with the greatest athlete I've ever known then I would have to tackle a subject I've never written about and frankly am a little scared off, seeing as how I'm a bit of a prude.  What is that you say?  That would be the act of self-love.  You see if I'm talking about having sex with the greatest athlete I've ever know I'd have to talk about, you know - ME!  I'm sorry, that was REALLY, really bad you should stop reading!  But I still can swim 50 meters in under 30 seconds and keep an 8 minute/mile pace over a 5K.  :)

Spike me baby!

OK so my point is this and I'll digress first as I always do.  See I've played basketball with one of the greatest Defensive Linemen of all time, I've played golf with a guy that played QB in the NFL for over 10 years.  One thing that always amazes me about seeing great athletes up close is how athletic they really are.  Most of the time a great athlete, in a given sport, can pick up other sports rather easily because, you know, they are great athletes for Christ sake!

I rather think that translates to sex.  I know, I know just because you are super fit doesn't mean you know how to screw and how to suck dick.  But I think that flexibility, agility, endurance, etc. all add up to the ability to excel if you do have that determination to be great at your skill which in this case would be sex!

So where am I going with this.  Well first let's get the old fantasy component out of the way.  I like athletic women who are not too Butch.  From my experience volleyball players have great asses, are often pretty, are great athletes, and not overly muscular.  Add that up and you get Gabrielle Reece, one of my all time fantasy ladies. She also has Shannon's nose.  Yes, a bit imperfect but you know imperfection can be really sexy!  And of course I'll leave you with the image of my swim suit model/tri-athlete that I chased for about 2 months on Ashley Madison and then e-mail.  Although in the end she turned out to be Sandee!  :)

But speaking of volleyball players and former athletes who know how to screw, I do have two encounters from my Ashley Madison experiences to share with you.

Alecia played volleyball in high school and she was definitely a great athlete in bed.  Sometimes when I'm nervous I have trouble finishing up.  I don't have trouble getting up, just finishing up.  The two times we had sex were real marathon encounters involving about 2 hours of on-again/off-again sex from multiple positions.  She was very much in shape and it felt great to feel our bodies melt in sweat together.  Her ass was just so nice and I remember she had this very sexy freckle as well as a tattoo (tattoo on back just below belt line, freckle on right cheek.  Anyway that flexibility and ability to go at it for an extended period of time was exhilarating.  Oh and I can still hear her sigh "you're hitting all the right places" as my tongue was lodged between her legs! 

But as for athleticism Alecia was tall, sexy, and sleek but paled in comparison (overall) to Keeley. Keeley also played volleyball but also at the college level.  I would define Keeley as "big-boned" but not over-weight.  She had long legs with great muscle tone.  She was very curvy but her curves were just right with respect to width, height, and depth.  I liked her perfect muscle tone along her arms and shoulders.  That balance made clothes hang well off of her and of course made her look so good when they were falling off of her.  I also loved the fact that she was a natural red-head which made the contrast of her thin line of pubic hair all the more arousing against her pale porcelain skin.

We only had sex once but it was like an erotic wrestling match.  Not violent mind you in an adversarial way but rigorous as it felt like a fight to move against one another as rapidly and briskly as possible.  Fucking her from behind in front of the mirror was an orgasm to the visual senses as her athletic body curved in front of me.  Her ass bounced perfectly off my hips and her waist felt so good as I held on and pulled her body into mine.  Her athleticism, like Alecia included endurance and flexibility but what was so different was her strength.  I had never had sex with a woman that was nearly as strong as me and that allowed her to wrap herself around me in ways I had not experienced.

Yes sex with Alecia and Keeley were both wonderful athletic adventures.  Sex with Shannon over the years has been wonderful as well.  She is more the petite ballerina who can contort her body into erotic positions in front, over, and underneath me.  At our best it was no problem for her to wrap her legs around my neck as I pumped myself into her.

Sandee is pretty athletic too.  She played volleyball and softball in high school and has that perfect balance of being feminine but a "Tom-boy" as well.  In good weather we often canoe on the river.   She too has powerful legs and arms but still retains feminine contours.

Wow!  Alecia, Keeley, Shannon, and Sandee what a great Final Four that is.  It makes me think of predicting a real Final Four.  You know I tried to get Kat to move this post back to after Selection Sunday so I could more accurately predict my Final Four but she insisted on routine.

So I'll kind of have to do this bare-back so to speak without the protection of a Bracket.  With that in mind here is my Final Four.

Duke - I hate to see this and I wouldn't have predicted this a week ago.  But it looks like Ryan Kelly take the Dukies to a new level.

Indiana - I always like to pick the best team from the best conference.  That is IU, Big 10 is very tough this year.  Oops, IU choked to Ohio State with the conference championship on the line; maybe I should go with the ' Zags!

Kansas - Other than a bad 3 game stretch they have been close to perfect.  I like the experience and the coaching.

Louisville - I like there experience and I think they are the best team from the second best conference the Big East.

I think I'll still take Indiana in the Championship!  Duke will probably win but who wants to pull for the Dukies!  :(

And here is that One Shining Moment I love to hear every March!  So go out and have some March Madness now.

You're Dixie's Football Pride; Shake Down the Thunder from the Sky

Ryan's Best Bowl Game Analysis

Those lyrics are a combination of Alabama's and Notre Dame's fight song lyrics.  They are playing for the title so I thought they deserved the glory.  OK I'm going to try this again.  I failed miserably last year (see my thoughts) and my results.

What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about college football, my favorite sport and handicapping the games based on which school has the best college girls, or cheerleaders, or any other analysis other than the usual "x's and o's."

Here goes...

Orange Bowl (Jan 1):  Florida State vs. Northern Illinois

"Cowgirls vs Girls Who Work with Cows"

FSU's famous "Cow Girls"

Florida State has been a football power for the last 30 years.  But it's important to remember that it mostly grew out of the Florida State College for Women.  After WWII it started adding men due to the influx of GI's.  Soon after they began playing football.  By the 1980's they had gottten pretty damn good at football due to a guy named Bowden and they had evolved from FSCW to FSUFHC (Florida State University for Hot Chicks) as we see depicted to the right.

Northern Illinois University is located in DeKalb, a flat place awash in corn.

I see no contest here.  The mental image of half naked tanned cowgirls is much more pleasing than the image of women actual working with cows on some farm in Central Illinois.  FSU in a blowout here 34-17.

Rose (Jan 1):  Stanford vs. Wisconsin

"Bridesmaids vs Brains"

You know my football inclination says Stanford.  They are always a stong team and I like teams that are successful in a pro-style system.  They took Notre Dame to the wire and beat USC and Oregon (on the road).  Even though they are known for smart chicks, they actually do have a pretty hot student body.

Makin' the Midwest Sexy!

Wisconsin?  Well historically you'd of just thunk cheese.  But then a little movie called Bridesmaids came out and turned our vision of Milwaukee from Lavern and Shirley to crazy women getting drunk a relieving themselves into the city storm drain.

I say it's a pick 'em.  But then I've got a real hard on for Kristen Wiig.  I'd definitely "do" her and she'd make me laugh while we were "doing it."  But remember UW is actually in Madison and Kristen does not actually live in Milwaukee (that was just her character).

Surprisingly on Athlon's "Hottest Fans" Wisconsin comes up......

Although the Badgers often come up big in the Rose Bowl, they have Barry Alverez coming back to coach the big game, and they hung 70 on the Huskers I have to stick with Stanford in a high scoring affair.  That means a lot of touchdowns not screwing drunk chicks from Milwaukee or smart chicks from the Silicon Valley!

However, Jennifer Connelly attended Stanford and she is my all-time favorite celebrity crush.  So even though she dropped out I'm taking Stanford (Reese Witherspoon apparently dropped out of Stanford as well).  I'm not holding it against them though!

Stanford wins 48-42

Sugar (Jan 2):  Florida vs. Louisville

You are thinking Florida vs. Louisville of course Ryan will pick the Gators.  But as my friend Lee Corso (who happened to coach at Louisville) would say "not so fast my friend!"  Florida is the #4 "Hottest Student Body" according to Popcrunch.com so you'd think this would be a beat down.  But surprisingly Louisville comes in #44 in the Top 50.  And if you have been to Gainsville, FL you'll know that it is really more Georgia than Florida.

Thing is, Georgia girls are pretty damn hot too!

So you may say didn't Tim Tebow play for Florida - he really SUCKS!  And you'd be right but have you seen his girlfriend?  WOW!

Anyway, I never pick against the SEC in anything so I'll go with the Gators.

Florida over the Cards 27-14



Fiesta (Jan 3):  Kansas State vs. Oregon

In case you didn't know Nike was the smokin' HOT Goddess of personal victory.  Now you might wonder what does that have to do with anything.  Well if you follow the minutia of athletics like me you know that Oregon for all practical purposes (in athletics) is really Nike State University (owing it's facilities and many gaudy uniforms to the vast wealth of Nike founder and former Oregon track coach Phil Knight).

I like Kansas State, I really do.  They play disciplined football and to give you a glimpse into the real geek behind Ryan I read a recent article that K State was the most efficient program in NCAA DI on a win per investment basis.

But I'm not picking stocks today and have you seen Oregon's cheerleaders?  DAMN!

Ducks over Wildcats 42-38


BCS Championship (Jan 7):  Notre Dame vs. Alabama

Dixie Chicks and Ribs vs. Lake Michigan

Are you f'in kidding?  Tuscaloosa is the home of Dreamland and some pretty hot looking women!  Did you see any hot chicks in that movie Rudi?  I didn't think so.

Tide does some ass-kickin' and some rib eatin'!

'Bama 27 Notre Dame 13

The Sweat Tea alone gets me!

And one more!


You know all that football watchin' is great but you've got to do something in between those plays and during timeouts.  So if you want to have the best "non-game" action with some super fine "eye candy" you might want to check out what I'll call the Hot Chick Bowl.  Yes I believe there are 36 college bowl games now.  Many feature very forgettable line-ups such as Air Force vs Rice.  Bad teams and not much side line action.  Many games may not feature high scoring but are not of national prominence such as Tulsa vs. Iowa State.

But if you want to get the maximum "eye candy" exposure I would go down to Atlanta and catch that Chick-fil-A bowl.  The food should be good and those LSU and Clemson chicks combine for the best sideline action of all the bowls.

I take LSU and a touchdown and two of those Golden Girls and bowl of Gumbo!  :)

Hey I noticed that on PopCrunch's Hot Student Bodies 6 of the top 10 were from the SEC.  I always say Southern Girls are the best!

Hey Where Did We Go

Today is a two pronged rip-off!  As I said before the entire "old flames" portion of my "retro summer" is a complete rip-off from another blog Crack the Whip I found through Ashley and Me.  The guy on the blog talks about the women of his past in much more alluring detail than I.  But to just tick that rip-off up a notch I am now ripping off something from ESPN Classic.  I am so much the dork that I love ESPN Classic and one of my favorite things on ESPN Classic is the 30 for 30 Series where they have made documentaries about some of the more unique stories over the 30 years of ESPN.  One of my favorite documentaries is about Marcus Dupree, one of the greatest football talents of all time.  He played his freshman season at the University of Oklahoma and was awesome.  But injury, fate, lack of tenacity, and mostly laziness kept him from achieving what was surely to be a Hall of Fame career in the NFL, sounds a bit like me!  Maybe Kat or Sassy somebody will write a post about me some day (Ryan - The Greatest Sex Blogger to Never Write about Sex).  But anyway, Marcus Dupree was in fact, as the documentary is titled, "The Greatest that Never Was."

And yet the documentary shows Marcus today as happy and content, satisfied as a truck driver and a grandfather.  So you come away in awe of the talent wasted but glad that this soft-spoken and good natured person came out OK in the end.  Again, I always like to look at the bright side!

Now onto -

Ryan's Retro Summer

Past Adventure(s) #6/7 (8) - Laurie and Cass (and Jodee), the Best(s) that Never Were

Ah, Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl; what a sweet slice of chocolatey memories.  There was a band I used to love in college called New Potato Caboose.  I think I can get away with saying that as they are from DC (originally formed at Catholic U) and toured widely around the Mid-Atlantic.  I used to see them every time they breezed by Big State U and sometimes even in other towns.  I remember taking Laurie to see them; she was my brown eyed girl.  I remember seeing them with Cass as well she was my Hypie-chick.  My favorite song of NPC was "Gold Plated Crime."  There is a lyric in that song that goes like this "I've never know what it's like to make love and not feel fine."  I certainly agree with that statement and I'd have felt quite fine if I'd made love with any of these fine ladies I list here.  But alas, in these cases we were always just friends.  These ladies are in fact "the Bests that Never Were."

Laurie was beautiful (and still is), she had that Mediterranean look with long dark wavy hair, big dark eyes, and olive skin.  Perhaps she looked just a little like Sophia Coppola.  She was a fraternity little sister and we just clicked from the start.  I probably spent more time with her playing tennis, hiking, going out to dinner, or just talking than any girlfriend I ever had.  And as I often did I played my Svengali roll by getting her a job at my college work-place.  Yeah Tish, Laurie, Meredith... Ryan would pick up any lost cute puppie and give her a job.  But it did make work fun!  I think early on I set the friend/big bro message and that could somehow never be retracted.  Probably best though.  Of all the memories I have shared, my private memories of Laurie are the best of all these fine ladies and that is because they are in no way tainted by the pain of a break-up or let down.  So sometimes unrequited feeling can be best.

This song also works fairly well for Cass.  She was not a brown eyed girl, rather vibrant red hair with blue eyes.  She was often at those New Potato Caboose shows around BSU.  She was a big-time Deadhead chick and that band New Potato Caboose played a lot of Dead songs.

I've been thinking about Cass a lot lately because that Wildling chick on Game of Thrones looks a lot like her to me.  I wish I could have done the Wild Thing with Cass but alas we were just friends as well (I think).

I've also been thinking about Cass a lot lately because she is another one of my Facebook pals.  The funny thing with Cass is that memories do fade and you begin to wonder what really happened.  Cass recently "friended" me on Facebook and sent several glowing messages about how happy she was to get in touch.  Among other things she asked about the times we went out and if I remembered kissing her.  I didn't, I think she was thinking we had sex but I'm pretty sure we did not.   I mean, I wish we did and as a guy I think I am more likely to think I did even if I didn't so this seemed odd.  But then again, I am easily confused so one really never knows with me so maybe we did.  I'm thinking she has me confused with some other guy.  But who knows, maybe I should just work up a mental image and go with it?  She also asked me if I had any pictures from the formal we went to once but I didn't.  She eventually found some and put them on her page.  My but I was a handsome devil back then!  Actually that is a lie 'cause she just had pictures of her, I must have been elsewhere but she did say I was handsome so let's just imagine.

But what about this Jodee girl, why is she here?

Well, I have to admit I feel a bit odd about spending time talking about a girl I only went out with once.  I mean I know I'm a dork but I'm not such a dork that I would pine away for some girl I only went out with once.  

Jodee was another one of those girls I met in my new town after college.  Well, one of the one's I met before Shannon and then I didn't really meet any more after her of course.

I mention Jodee here because it was in fact the most haunting date I had ever been on.  No she was not a creepy girl at all, she was beautiful.  She had that Mediterranean look with long dark wavy hair, hazel eyes, and olive skin.  Perhaps she looked a little like Sophia Coppola.

Wait, didn't I just write something like that recently?

You know you would be right.  And that is where the creepy part comes in.  I remember seeing Jodee in my new city just after college.  I think this was in between chasing games with Brianne.  I remember actually feeling a shock to the heart when I first saw her.  I started to go over and say "Laurie, what are you doing here."  The resemblance was CRAZY!

From that moment I had to get to know her and I did.  It was very casual at first, I dared not tell her why I was attracted to her.  That would come off as creepy.

Eventually I did ask her out.  A guy I knew at work had tickets to the NBA team (a few towns over) so that's what we decided to do along with dinner beforehand.

It was a disaster!  Jodee's appearance, so hauntingly like Laurie, had me off the whole night.  I lost my mojo; I was off and there was no turning "it" on.  It was like my hard drive crashed.  I had the Laurie disk in my head and it wouldn't eject and I couldn't find my Jodee flash drive.  So many times I came so close to saying Laurie's name that by dessert I was too spooked to talk.  Sometimes I just caught myself staring at her (jaw probably open) not knowing what to say or feel.  And so we sat largely in silence.  During the game I could tell Jodee was bored but I had no game to change the momentum.  It was a long and excruciating ride home

In the end I would have been glad to go out with her again but the creepiness enraptured me and certainly made me tentative and thus not interesting.  Jodee never really talked to me again and even though I saw her on occasion I didn't push.  Jodee was a Jersey girl though.  Too bad she didn't look like Tish; I'd have know just what to do!

Hey if you took a listen to that New Potato Caboose Track above and liked it keep an eye out for them, sometimes they still show up at the State Theater in Falls Church, VA.  If you go who knows you might run into a 40-something dude with a vacant Michael Scott-styled look that perhaps vaguely resembles Harry Connick and/or John Ritter (some more visual, you figure it out).    :)

Well You Just Might Find You Get What You Need

I am not one to really write "off the cuff" rants on a whim.  I tend to write my posts ahead and do auto-posts.  But recently I have hit a real crisis in life.  For the past several years I have really enjoyed this Classic Country radio station.  They play Johnny Cash, Glenn Campbell, Waylon Jennings type stuff.  I had come across a classic country station once before, I think in Louisville, but obviously it's not a popular genre.  But then again, I'm not exactly a popular genre so we were two peas in a pod.  Bottom line, I loved the station.  Just the other day I noticed it was "dark" and then a few days later I turned it on and heard not the wonderful voice of Dolly Parton but the obnoxiousness of Ke$ha.  Yikes - apparently the station had changed programming.  Sorry, Ryan no music for you!

Anyway, I was listening to a classic rock station today instead and heard that Rolling Stones song and I guess for now that was "just what (I) need(ed)."

But today is not about that, it is about something I am sure you need; a political analysis by Ryan.  What, didn't you see how insightful my bowl game analysis was?  Oh wait, my predictions were pretty awful.  Oh well, I was crunching some numbers and had some thoughts and thought I would share.  Here goes.

So to watch MSNBC and Fox News you would think that politics is all about emotion.  Look at the Republican primaries up and down ebbs and flows.  Just now Santorum took back some momentum in Kansas this weekend and will likely battle Gingrich for the hearts and minds of Dixie in Mississippi and Alabama later this week.  Mitt said it's an "away game" so unless he or Jeff Foxworthy can convence folks down there that he is comfortable with saying "ya'll" and eating biscuits and grits, momentum will shift once again!  I am sure the bandwagon will be back to Santorum and the doomsayers will be after Romney once again.  Although late note Rasmussen polling has Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum splitting the conservative vote so Mitt might in fact get his knock-down punch today!

But reality is that politics may reflect emotion but it is in fact entirely about laws of gravity and motion.  The immovable object or the irresistible force inevitably dominate and win.  And I'm not just talking money it involves organization and ground game.  Like Sun Tsu's Ancient Art of War most political battles are won long before they are ever fought.

I was looking at the Republican Primary numbers this weekend hoping for a brokered convention.  The comedy would be so fun and of course I'm a left of center guy that will certainly vote for President Obama.  But in the numbers I found the immovable object - Romney.

Here they are:

Delegates to Date (before Kansas):

Romney - 415 or 36.3% of assigned delegates needed to win

Santorum - 176

Gingrich - 105

Paul - 47

Huntsman - 2 (likely to go to Romney)

Total = 745 or 34% of total delegates to be assigned

Romney is at 36% of the delegates needed after 34% of the total delegates have been assigned.  He is actually ahead of the pace with his best states ahead.  Delegate rich states like California and New York will only push Romney ahead of his current pace.  States like Kansas, Mississippi, and Alabama will not give Santorum the irresistible momentum to overcome the immovable object.  In fact Santorum just netted a +1 to the delegate count on Saturday because Mitt won in all those resort islands we own in the Pacific (maybe Mitt owns some investment properties there).

Additionally there are 86 unassigned Super Delegates which will mostly go to Romney and Huntsman's 2 will likely move to Romney at the convention.

To date Romney has collected 56% of the assigned delegates.  He need only win 729 of the remaining 1,453 (50%) delegates to win.  Again, at 56% to date he is ahead of the pace he needs to win the nomination with his best states still ahead.

So what that means is get used to Obama vs Romney.  As much as I would love to see the Republicans screw around with nominating someone as dopey as Santorum I do have to say I breath a sigh of relief.  As much as I won't vote for Romney I think I can live with him as President.  I do believe he is a decent and smart man who probably actually reads stuff like the New Yorker and listens to NPR and may consider science as a part of life.  He may be stiff and out of touch but he is not a "knuckle dragger/non-opposable thumber" like the rest of the Republican candidate pool.  Except for Ron Paul, I do like that he has changed the dialogue within the Republican Party around War and aggression.  Other than that he is interesting but spooky weird when he is talking about the Gold Standard and monetary policy.

That being said here is my prediction.  And remember my bowl game predictions that were completely awful so consider the source.

Obama beats Romney like a "wet stepchild"!  Sorry for my southern vernacular.  He may not win in an electoral landslide and may not even eclipse his electoral count of 2008 but I think he will win convincingly in the popular vote.

The Republicans in response will soberly assess that they are out of touch with the populous, right?

Wrong!  They will blame Romney and say once again Republicans never win when they run with a moderate.  They will say that if they had stayed to their convictions they would have inspired the base and won.  There will be second guessing galore and why didn't we talk Christie into running, etc.

Bottom line the Republican take-away will be more gridlock for 4 more years.

Until the next "most important election of our lifetime" (note sarcasm here) in 2016 when Hillary takes on Jeb Bush or as I might say Clinton/Bush II (The Final Countdown)!

Oh well, just some thoughts from someone who doesn't know what the hell they are talking about 50% of the time, is full of *hit 50% of the time, and just doen't have a clue the rest of the time.  :)

Oh and it's March Madness as well I guess I should make some predictions there as well!

My first prediction or rather note of reality.  Did you know that the Thursday and Friday of March Madness are the least productive working days in America!  Yep, a lot of goofing off and watching the scoreboard - sounds like a typical Ryan day.

Here goes (and as always I am using the pure logic of who has the hottest women):

Final Four

South:        Kentucky over Notre Dame; it's the official team of Ashley

West:         Missouri over Michigan State; Show Me Baby

East:          Florida State over Syracuse; can you say Spring Break 

Midwest:   North Carolina over Georgetown; some love to the home team but not too much

I like anyone named Ashley,  'nuff said!

Ahh, the pursuit of Academics!

Carolina Girl - best girl in the world!

Championship:   Kentucky over North Carolina 78-75

Potential Upset Alerts:

Notre Dame over Duke:  Notre Dame is a tough team from a tough conference; if they were playing on St. Patty's Day this would be a no-brainer.

New Mexico over Louisville and Michigan State:  I like the Lobos with Steve Alford at coach; no hot chicks at Michigan State (High School musical was set in Albuquerque - does that factor in here?)

Harvard over Vanderbilt:  or should I say Harvard vs the Harvard of the south; a lot of smart guys maybe Harvard still has some of the Linsanity left!

West Virginia over Gonzaga:  Gonzaga is the higher seed but WVU is playing a backyard game in Pittsburg (where is the fairness here?)

Creighton over North Carolina:  UNC is unpredictable and Creighton can shoot the lights out

Belmont over Georgetown:  Hoya's have a propensity to choke early; Belmont always shoots the lights out and Vince Gill is a fan and an awesome bluegrass picker!

St. Mary's over Kansas:  KU is always a good bet to choke at some point in the NCAA.

Tin Roof, Rust!

I've never been a quantity over quality type guy.  But I've basically written my posts for next week and the week after and they only add up to 9 posts for January and I've always written at least 10 posts per month so I'm in need of another post.  So here is some housekeeping to get that 10th post.

Wait a second though, did he just say he prefers quality over quantity?  That must mean he thinks any of this stuff would be considered quality - wow, ego's never cease to amaze me!

OK so I have about 4 points today:

#1 - Wow, I hope nobody put down bets based on my bowl game analysis - I really stunk it up.  But to rebut,  I will say my analysis failed on the following points,

*   Rose Bowl - Got it right on this game, here's to the Quack Attack!

*   Fiesta Bowl - OK 2 points.  First, Stanford find a guy who can kick straight.  Second, I obviously forgot to consider these fine looking Cowgirls!  If I had seen these little chaps I would have picked the Cowboys (girls)!  Hot girls in chaps definitely beats that goofy thing!






*   Sugar Bowl - VT's kickers are on crack too!
*   Orange Bowl -  Missed this little story, WVU Cheerleaders gone wild might have changed things for me (take a look)!  Gives new meaning to that song "Almost Heaven West Virginia (cheerleaders) ......" 
*   BCS Championship - I forgot to consider Cajun + New Orleans on New Years = A lot of Hangovers.  Obviously LSU partied too much and forgot to show up.

I still did really good on the Yahoo Bowl pick-um because I aced all the minor stinky bowls!  Tell me how many of you had SMU upsetting Pittsburg in the Clorox Toilet Bowl.

#2 - Under the category of flattery will get you everywhere with Ryan please please consider visiting the attached new blog So Wrong But So Right.  One of the writers had a previous blog and a lot of these stories are from those past episodes.  There is a lot of good hook-up sex and relationship stuff and I know this will be a good one.  Molly, I'm looking forward to seeing more of you as well!  :)

#3 - Omg, did you see that Hostess is going bankrupt!  For the love of god do your patriotic duty and eat as many Twinkies as you can, this American icon must be saved!  And think of this, after the Apocalypse later this year (2012) these little beauties may be the only thing we have left to eat - I think they are shelf stable to the year 2525!  :)

#4 - Today's lyric quote is a shout-out to the B-52's who are celebrating their 35th anniversary.  I sure wish I could catch their anniversary show in Athens on February 9th.

Oh wait..... (another point)

#5 -  So I had this spoof post about Finding Married Guys for Dummies the other day.  So a quick (slightly) sincere bit of advice on that subject.  If you really are looking for a married guy or former married guy or any guy of the pre-owned fashion I give you one bit of advice.  Find a guy who has a great relationship with his daughter.  For if a guy truly loves his daughter (and what daddy doesn't) then he has put at least one women ahead of himself on his priority list during his life.  And if a guy can love at least one woman (his daughter) more than himself perhaps he will be good to another women (you).  Just a thought!  :)

And another:

#6 Is it really hard to talk while you're teabagging?  :)
Thanks for that thought Anderson!


Sorry for all of that but it is a good image of the useless shit I think about on a daily basis!  :)


Remember to Vote Colbert 2012!


Hey wait, I think I mentioned another AM Adventure coming soon - maybe I'll start getting on top of that story on Monday!

Wake Up the Echos Cheering Her Name

Ryan's Best Bowl Game Picks and Analysis
*  Based on in-depth cheerleader analysis!


OK, it's time for the big college bowl games and so it's time for me to finally throw down the gauntlet and let you know how much I know about college football.  But first let me say the lyrics above are from the Notre Dame fight song.  I have to say I hate Notre Dame but the lyrics just seemed to fit so that is why I used them.  So let's move on.  Now all the other prognosticators are going to tell you about TD/Int ratios of the quarterback, offense and defensive stats, who has the best coaches in a BIG game atmosphere and from that they will tell you who will win.

Now I'm a stats guy and I'll listen and take all of that in.  But, I don't think anyone is interested in that here. So today I am going to unveil a new research strategy.  I am going to base today's picks on cheerleaders, dance teams, who does the best tailgate food, and other largely irrelevant and superfluous information.

Let's see how I do against the experts!  Well, I guess I did use one source that I should probably referrence:  http://collegeprowler.com

So here we go:

The Orange Bowl:     Clemson vs. West Virginia

Ryan's Pick - Clemson 38-14

Clemson wins easy here on teeth per capita (I'll say 20-10).  That being the average number of teeth each team's fans have.  Notice that Clemson ain't exactly a dental champion either. So what's the over/under of WVU's teeth per fan (or should I say tooth per fan)?  But oh how I love those Carolina girls "Myrtle Beach days, let's have some fun in the sun...."

The Fiesta Bowl:     Oklahoma State vs. Stanford

Ryan's Pick - tie/pass:  We have a cow college vs a college known for politicians daughters.  Even if you find a hot Stanford girl, screwing them may land you in a grocery store magazine.  So unless that is cool for you I would stay clear.  Unless you are looking for Sugar Momma; the Sultan of Somewhere's daughter probably goes here.  Then again, you might be able to hook up with T. Boone Pickens' grandaughter at OSU.

But for the record I'll go Stanford 42-38

The Sugar Bowl:     Virginia Tech vs. Michigan

Ryan's Pick - Virginia Tech 31-28

This is a tough one to handicap VT is only 42% girls; Michigan is nerdy and elitist.  I have to give a slight advantage here based on a personal assessement, NOVA chicks rock and the one's from VA Beach ain't too bad either.  Hot chicks on the Michigan UP???  Not so much!

The Rose Bowl:     Oregon vs. Wisconsin

Ryan's Pick - Oregon 48-42

Oregon surprises here with some extremely hot cheerleaders.  And boy doesn't Phil Knight keep them clad in a lot of fancy Nike shit!  Wisconsin is known for cheese on the other hand and cheese and hot chicks don't always mix; in fact it's often a recipe for irritable bowel syndrome which is never sexy!  Now I would be glad to have a UCLA cheerleader and take a naked Wisconsin cheese fondue bath with her.  As for Wisconsin chicks though, just check out that movie Up in the Air - they can be some fairly angry ladies (or crazy if you have seen Bride's Maids).

And did you see those "bitchin'" unis Oregon is wearing for the Rose Bowl.  Wow, it takes some creativity to make Ducks scary!

http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/dish/201112/darth-vader-playing-rose-bowl


The BCS Championship:     LSU vs. Alabama

Now before I start with my analysis let's just speak a little about the BCS.  Yes the BCS is a travesty and yes America wants to see a playoff system for Division I college football.  But let's be real honest here, with girls like they have at LSU and Alabama the system definitely got it right, baby!  OH my sweet Jesus, I've been on both campuses and unless you can squeeze in Florida State or UCLA you ain't going to surpass these schools for HOT girls!  So just shut your mouth this year; talk to me about playoffs when I'm faced with the cheerleaders from Michigan State and Duke!

Ryan's Pick - LSU 16-10

I'll take the blond w/a dash of Tabasco!

Not only does LSU excel at the tailgating food but they have the "all names team."  They have guys with names like Tyrann Mathieu (nicknamed the Honey Badger) and Ryan Clement (which doesn't sound odd until you hear that it's pronounced Kli-mont).

Additionally, Cajun ladies are just as hot, are a little on the spicy side, and most importantly put out more than those Southern Baptist Dixie Chicks from Alabama!  :)

So Geaux Les Tigres!