"I thought we signed up for the same thing... I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis"
So I'm a cut to the chase sort of guy so here is the real Ryan bucket list. It involves sweaty energetic sex with a uniquely feline lady. I'll give you a hint - her name starts with a K and ends with a T and rhymes with bat and hat! :)
Ah that cleavage looks familiar!
I can't say I'm a big fan of the Human League. That song "Don't You Want Me Baby" has sort of stuck with me as symbolic as I've felt a certain Svengali relationship with Shannon similar to the relationship depicted in that song. But really I imagine Kat as looking like Joanne Catherall, one of the lead singers in the group. And if you watch the video of the song Fascination (lyrics above/video below) it does look like you are plunging into a big Orange vagina as the video starts!
Maybe that's my fantasy bucket list to have a retro-80's dance party in Kat's vagina! But now I be trippin'. :)
So what would be on Ryan's sexual bucket list?
It would be too sad to say he wants to have passionate sex with Shannon once more like they did before, though it would be true. Oh if he could have one more chance to have those beautiful sleek legs wrapped around him he would be such a happy man!
It would be too shallow to say he'd like just once more to experience 20-something sex with one of those girls at the gym if only to see the bounce back action of a 20-something well toned ass. Yes, he can't help but think about it. And oh how that one fitness instructor does flirt - temptation! Yes Ryan does anything for her, he is putty in her hand.
It would be way creepy to say he'd like to meet up and hook up with someone as Ryan Beaumont and to have a complete sexual liaison in that persona far separate from his own. But that would seem like Catfishing or Flyfishing or some bad thing he shouldn't do. But tempt him still and he might.
It would be very true that he would love to run away for a weekend at the beach with Sandee where they wouldn't have to watch the clock and worry if someone might wonder why they weren't at work this afternoon. But when and how could that happen.
If any or all of those things could happen Ryan might be satiated for a time. If Ryan could be satiated perhaps he could settle down and not be so restless. Perhaps he could just watch a sunset and enjoy the moment.
Yes, there is the bucket list! To be Satiated.
Ryan would like for a moment to be sexually satiated. For there are only two moments better than the point of orgasm. One is the moment just prior as your stomach gets that going down the hill roller coaster sensation. The other is just after as you are satisfied and in that blissful moment when nothing really matters. It is in those moments after sexual satiation when pizza tastes a little better, the wine a little sweeter, the sunset a bit more vivid.
If you could be satiated for a moment wouldn't you then be ready to kick the bucket?
Nah, I still want to do K*t. I've not done a threesome either so let's throw in Cara for good measure! :)
OOHHHH, and chocolate chip cookies after!!!!!!!!!!
For each of Kat's Chain posts I have written about an experience I had not yet written about. I like to keep it original you know! However I'm going to part from that just slightly and rehash something I've written about before. Yet the stratagem this time is that I have not written about this experience on this blog.
Sugarloaf Key, Florida
My first Spring Break sex post was as a guest blogger on Kat's Blog on September 9th, 2011. At the time Kat was inviting other bloggers to post on her blog and do "Fantasy Friday" posts. I was jealous because Somewhere Man had already written a Fantasy Friday post on Kat's blog so I had to jump in. In my post (on Kat's blog) there was some fantasy, I'll give you that, but it was based in reality. I kind of like the fantasy better but the reality wasn't so bad either. So for today I'll give you the reality behind that "Fantasy" post from long ago.
But before I get to that I have to say I'm not really a "Parrot-head" but I do enjoy Jimmy Buffet and nothing will get you in the mood for Spring Break like a Jimmy Buffet song. I enjoy many of his songs but I think the lyric above from the song Changes in Latitudes Changes in Attitudes is one of my all time favorite.
So let's talk about Julia and a Spring Break long ago in college and in my heyday so to speak!
One Guy, 4 ladies - what fun!
As I mentioned in the post on Kat's blog, back one Spring Break in the early '90's I went on a trip to the Keys with one of my best friends Meredith and her 3 (yes 3!) roommates. I have to admit I had thoughts that something might "happen" between Meredith and I. She was probably the most enjoyable person I have ever spent time with and I could really drown in those beautiful blue eyes. Meredith's roommates were not real attractive though. Well one roommate, Julia, I had never really paid attention to. She and her boyfriend were quite the "grudge couple." While I do have Liberal tendencies I have to say the noxious fog of Patchouli smell that was always emanating from Julia was a big turn-off for me. But collectively the ladies were a fun group and I looked forward to the get-away.
As we started down the road the three M's (as they were often called, Meredith's other roommates were Maggie and Melinda) drifted to the back to sleep and I was left with Julia as shot-gun. It was OK, she liked music and she ended up being pretty interesting to talk to and apparently she had forgotten her jar of Patchouli. In fact, sans boyfriend she cleaned up pretty good! :)
By the time we got to the Keys (about 18 hours later) she and I had established a pretty good rapport.
Upon arriving at our campsite (I don't think I mentioned that we were going to be camping) I had to get out and get some fresh air. I took a jog down the road the campsite was on (and away from Rt 1). About a mile down the road I came across a washed out bridge. The road continued on the other side but I decided not to wade across the water. But the image of where that road might lead held to my psyche.
That night we headed into Key West for dinner. For some reason, I can't remember now, we headed back to the campsite somewhat early with a case of beer and intentions of drinking it. Apparently Julia was not a beer drinker. I am but I'm also opportunistic. Julia had noticed a wine store right at the intersection of Rt 1 and the road to the campsite. She wanted to go and I wanted to accommodate so we took a stroll to said wine store and selected a bottle of George de Boeuf Beaujolais Village to consume. There was an inlet that ran along the road to the entrance of Sugar Loaf key where we were staying. After opening our bottle and beginning to share (directly sipping from the bottle) we meandered over to a dock along that inlet. We soon found ourselves sitting on someone's boat, sipping our George de Boeuf, and gazing at the stars in the Florida sky. By habit my arm found it's way around Julia's shoulder and by instinct my mouth found hers and soon we were enjoying a tasty kiss with a hint of dry red table wine. Yes, her lips were an excellent year, aged to perfection with just the right tannins, floral notes, and no Oakey ending on the palate! Away from her grungy boyfriend her hair was soft and there was not pungent odor of "hippy smell," just the seductive feel of her soft slight body next to mine in the warm night air.
Unfortunately the drunkin' M's found us and we were interrupted. But I had resolved to revisit that kiss and I thought I knew just the place to find it again, perhaps beyond that washed out bridge I had found earlier in the day.
The next day in the late afternoon after a day at the beach I asked Julia if she wanted to take a walk and she said yes.
Hippy shake in the sand would be nice!
We walked down the road and found the washed out bridge. We did wade through the water about 20 feet to the other side and continued down the road. Toward the end of the road we did find the water and a secluded beach area. We waded through the water and then just sat on the beach. Julia laid back on the sand and closed her eyes (looking a bit like the young lady to our left).
Why didn't I *uck her on the boat! :)
At some point she looked up at me squinting and beneath her arms and said "you look a bit tense, you should lay back and relax; it's very nice." At some point our hands met and we held each other. Eventually I broke the ice and rolled over and began kissing her. Looking back I think this scene could have turned out much like my Fantasy Friday post. I am pretty sure Julia would have been OK with it. However, in this instance, I was the nervous Nellie. You see this place seemed just a bit tooooo secluded and remote. Something about the area just said "Colombian drug cartel hideout" to me. IDK, I guess I was just paranoid but I couldn't concentrate. I had images of us ending up like those college students in Tourista or the Beach. Well those movies hadn't been written yet but hopefully you get the point. I was out here to get laid not to be fodder for a teen slasher movie.
Anyway I chickened out (for now) and we walked back to the camp to get the M's for dinner.
That night we partied some more in Key West. For some reason we came back around 11 pm (I think someone was already passed out drunk). Julia and I had been keeping pretty close, dancing to the Carribbean sounds at Sloppy Joe's, we didn't want to leave. So we struck a bargan (which was good for me). We took the other girls back to the campsite, dropped them off, and Julia and I drove back to Key West. Except this time we didn't stay that long. We walked along the street for some time. We found our way to another marina and shared some more moonlight kissing. But nothing was going to happen there amid all the drunking college kids on Spring Break. So I offered to get another bottle of "George" and we were off back to Sugarloaf Key. For some reason we forgot to go back to the wine store. Perhaps it was the fact that her hand was inside my pants massage my dick throughout the ride home. We headed back to camp, me wishing the other girls were all in one tent (we had two).
As luck would have it the others were all in one tent and passed out. That left tent #2 for Julia and I. We crawled in and zipped the tent behind us.
As I turned around to her she flung her arms about me and we were kissing. In one smooth move I ran my hands under her light fluffy tank top and glided it up and off her body. She was not wearing a bra. I quickly got out of my shirt and we were chest to chest kissing. My next move was a similar sliding motion with my hands, this time in a downward motion under her shorts and down toward her knees. She giggled slightly and then fell back onto her back. I slid her pants the rest of the way off her legs.
My pants were quickly off and I was quickly onto her. She was wet and I slide into her easily. Soon our bodies were slick with sweat and our bodies glided over one another. It felt like we would melt together. Her wetness from inside adding to the sweat provided the perfectly slippery path along her inner thighs for me to slide in and out quickly and rhytmically.
Julia moved her lithe body into me pumping her hips into my thrusts. Her high pitched voice squeeked as she came and I was not long after.
We were a sweaty mess and we just laid side by side for probably a half hour air drying in the night inside that tent. We kissed a little more but I said I was thinking about taking a shower.
This post is getting a little long now so I will be short with the after-play. Surfice to say I was not as paranoid about a shower with Julia in the family cabana of the camp park at 3 am in the morning.
The next morning we woke up in each other's arms. It was a great night but I think Julia soon found herself missing Mr. Grunge. I could tell her guilt precluded another night like before so I spent the rest of the week unsuccessfully chasing Meredith as I would off and on for another two years. Because I'm a nice guy I let the night's events stay between Julia and I.
For all I know Julia and her grunge boyfriend flew away to Seattle and have a wonderful life together. Although by now I'm sure they are in a split level in Redmond by now.
Oh well, such is life but as I like to say:
"With all of my running and all of my cunning if I couldn't laugh I would go insane..." :)
And remember - as Jimmy says:
"The lower the latitude the better the attitude"
If you are interested here is the other Fantasy Friday post I did for Kat back in December, 2011. It's an ode to a song and a lovely lady with lyrics intertwined into the tale.
So Kat has agreed to carry the torch forward another month. And what a great topic. As soon as I heard it I thought it was right up my alley. Of course the problem is I've never had sex with a famous athlete.
Oh no Ryan does that mean you are going to make up some stupid story like you did last November when you'd never screwed a politician?
No, Shannon was a cheerleader and I've dated other cheerleaders. They are athletes, right?
Well you can't bet on cheerleading so I'm not sure if cheerleading is a skill, art, talent or sport. Regardless I just like to watch them.
Of course when I really got to thinking about it I realized that if I wanted to talk about sex with the greatest athlete I've ever known then I would have to tackle a subject I've never written about and frankly am a little scared off, seeing as how I'm a bit of a prude. What is that you say? That would be the act of self-love. You see if I'm talking about having sex with the greatest athlete I've ever know I'd have to talk about, you know - ME! I'm sorry, that was REALLY, really bad you should stop reading! But I still can swim 50 meters in under 30 seconds and keep an 8 minute/mile pace over a 5K. :)
Spike me baby!
OK so my point is this and I'll digress first as I always do. See I've played basketball with one of the greatest Defensive Linemen of all time, I've played golf with a guy that played QB in the NFL for over 10 years. One thing that always amazes me about seeing great athletes up close is how athletic they really are. Most of the time a great athlete, in a given sport, can pick up other sports rather easily because, you know, they are great athletes for Christ sake!
I rather think that translates to sex. I know, I know just because you are super fit doesn't mean you know how to screw and how to suck dick. But I think that flexibility, agility, endurance, etc. all add up to the ability to excel if you do have that determination to be great at your skill which in this case would be sex!
So where am I going with this. Well first let's get the old fantasy component out of the way. I like athletic women who are not too Butch. From my experience volleyball players have great asses, are often pretty, are great athletes, and not overly muscular. Add that up and you get Gabrielle Reece, one of my all time fantasy ladies. She also has Shannon's nose. Yes, a bit imperfect but you know imperfection can be really sexy! And of course I'll leave you with the image of my swim suit model/tri-athlete that I chased for about 2 months on Ashley Madison and then e-mail. Although in the end she turned out to be Sandee! :)
But speaking of volleyball players and former athletes who know how to screw, I do have two encounters from my Ashley Madison experiences to share with you.
Alecia played volleyball in high school and she was definitely a great athlete in bed. Sometimes when I'm nervous I have trouble finishing up. I don't have trouble getting up, just finishing up. The two times we had sex were real marathon encounters involving about 2 hours of on-again/off-again sex from multiple positions. She was very much in shape and it felt great to feel our bodies melt in sweat together. Her ass was just so nice and I remember she had this very sexy freckle as well as a tattoo (tattoo on back just below belt line, freckle on right cheek. Anyway that flexibility and ability to go at it for an extended period of time was exhilarating. Oh and I can still hear her sigh "you're hitting all the right places" as my tongue was lodged between her legs!
But as for athleticism Alecia was tall, sexy, and sleek but paled in comparison (overall) to Keeley. Keeley also played volleyball but also at the college level. I would define Keeley as "big-boned" but not over-weight. She had long legs with great muscle tone. She was very curvy but her curves were just right with respect to width, height, and depth. I liked her perfect muscle tone along her arms and shoulders. That balance made clothes hang well off of her and of course made her look so good when they were falling off of her. I also loved the fact that she was a natural red-head which made the contrast of her thin line of pubic hair all the more arousing against her pale porcelain skin.
We only had sex once but it was like an erotic wrestling match. Not violent mind you in an adversarial way but rigorous as it felt like a fight to move against one another as rapidly and briskly as possible. Fucking her from behind in front of the mirror was an orgasm to the visual senses as her athletic body curved in front of me. Her ass bounced perfectly off my hips and her waist felt so good as I held on and pulled her body into mine. Her athleticism, like Alecia included endurance and flexibility but what was so different was her strength. I had never had sex with a woman that was nearly as strong as me and that allowed her to wrap herself around me in ways I had not experienced.
Yes sex with Alecia and Keeley were both wonderful athletic adventures. Sex with Shannon over the years has been wonderful as well. She is more the petite ballerina who can contort her body into erotic positions in front, over, and underneath me. At our best it was no problem for her to wrap her legs around my neck as I pumped myself into her.
Sandee is pretty athletic too. She played volleyball and softball in high school and has that perfect balance of being feminine but a "Tom-boy" as well. In good weather we often canoe on the river. She too has powerful legs and arms but still retains feminine contours.
Wow! Alecia, Keeley, Shannon, and Sandee what a great Final Four that is. It makes me think of predicting a real Final Four. You know I tried to get Kat to move this post back to after Selection Sunday so I could more accurately predict my Final Four but she insisted on routine.
So I'll kind of have to do this bare-back so to speak without the protection of a Bracket. With that in mind here is my Final Four.
Duke - I hate to see this and I wouldn't have predicted this a week ago. But it looks like Ryan Kelly take the Dukies to a new level.
Indiana- I always like to pick the best team from the best conference. That is IU, Big 10 is very tough this year. Oops, IU choked to Ohio State with the conference championship on the line; maybe I should go with the ' Zags!
Kansas - Other than a bad 3 game stretch they have been close to perfect. I like the experience and the coaching.
Louisville - I like there experience and I think they are the best team from the second best conference the Big East.
I think I'll still take Indiana in the Championship! Duke will probably win but who wants to pull for the Dukies! :(
And here is that One Shining Moment I love to hear every March! So go out and have some March Madness now.
This lyric goes out to Kat as well as my post. I do want to thank Kat for hosting this Blog Chain; these posts have been a blast!
I'll warn you this might get a bit mushy but then again this is a mushy topic. So in the interest of retaining some "guy points" I'll start out with a sports analogy. About a week ago Randy Moss made a statement that in all due respect to Jerry Rice, he (Randy the Freak) was the greatest receiver of all time. It was quite comical. But here is my analogy. In my learned observation LeBron James is without a doubt the most gifted basketball player of all time. But let's be honest if we were having a pick-up game for the championship of life any of us would choose Michael or Magic over LeBron.
And why?
Because when the game is/was on the line Michael always demanded to take the shot. It wasn't arrogance; it was determination. It was the simple fact that he wanted to bear the burden and the responsibility for the success of the team. It wasn't simply expected it was literally understood. That takes heart and is bigger than simple talent.
OK so what does that mean for today other than the fact that it seems as if Ryan is going to take a simple subject like Love and then not talk about sex which is what this whole goddamn Sex Blog Chain is supposed to be about. But never let it be unsaid that Ryan couldn't *uck up a wet dream and not follow the simplest of directions! :)
OK so I've kind of let the Kat (get it) out of the bag. No, this post is not about sex. But it is about love.
In those early years sex with Shannon was great. She is gorgeous and her body just always seemed to fit me like that proverbial glove. At some point we decide it was time to have kids. We were naive that it would just happen. It didn't. Of course when it doesn't happen I think we always first assume it's the guy. So in response to that I stepped into the shower one morning and thought in depth about how much I'd like to nail Jennifer Connelly (no we are not at the love part yet, duh). About 10 minutes later I stepped out with a cup of my thoughts if you catch my drift. We took my thoughts to the hospital and found out that there were no problems with Ryan. In fact I think they wanted to mate me with a Thoroughbred mare as my seed was of such sublime quality! :) (sorry guys just have to brag when speaking of such things)
After a few months of trying several other things a doctor came to the conclusion that Shannon had endometriosis and needed laparoscopic surgery. And there in lies my point of the day.
It's easy to fall in love with a beautiful woman or simply a woman who shows interest in you and makes you feel great. As Kevin Costner's character in Fandango said appropriately "if you think you are in love, you are; that's really all love is, a feeling." On the surface I believe that.
But real love, I believe, is what Michael Jordan has for the game of basketball. It is that desire to bear the burden. So it's not until you expect to be that safety net, that you desire to bear the burden that you really realize you are in love with someone.
I took Shannon for her surgery one morning about 13 years ago. She was a mess. For lack of a better word she is a hypochondriac. I stayed with her until she was called back into surgery. I stuck around the hospital until it was done and then talked with the doctor after. Everything went fine. I do admit I stepped out and ran by the office while she was in recovery. But I was back when she awoke.
I helped her dress when she was ready for release. She could not even raise her arms to get out of that flimsy ass-less hospital smock. I pulled the car up to the door and helped her in. After driving home I carried her into the house and placed her gently on the couch. After a few minutes she then vomited on me. She does not deal well with anesthesia.
I cleaned her up and cleaned the carpet and the couch (and myself). She was a mess. Her hair was sticky and gummy, her face sunken and sallow, and her eyes were vacant and glassy. She was a wreck. And at that moment I loved her as much as I ever did love her. She was completely and totally in my care. I was responsible for her. I was her safety net, nobody else. I bore the burden and as much as I was in pain to see her in pain I was glad for that burden.
So as we prepare for Valentine's Day and anticipate that "special moment" with that special person just think about who is going to not simply accept but will take the ball in life when the clock ticks under 8 seconds.
If you are in love you are going to own that ball. You will find a way to jump a little higher, drive a little harder and demand to have the burden of the last shot.
Oh well just think of us as Leo and Kate, two star-crossed lovers doomed to fail...
Sorry for that mushiness. Hey I had trouble finding this. For some reason I always thought Sade sang this song but I guess it's some English chick named Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong or Dido for short. Anyway here is that song. I heard it on the way to work the other day. It's mushy but it always sets me in a peaceful mind.
I love this month's topic - The Super Bowl of Sex. The Super Bowl is still three weeks away and one thing I love is when they show highlights of all those past Super Bowls on ESPN Classic leading up to the Big Game.
So because I love ESPN Classic and ripping off ideas I did some links to the Super Bowl *ucks of my past (as I've blogged them) and lead up to the end for my Super Bowl of Sex for this month's chain.
These are in no particular order as each lady was a Super Bowl Champion in her own way! And btw those lyrics above are from the Berlin song "Sex (I'm A..) which to me is one of the Super Bowl Champions of songs to *uck to!
And now for Super Bowl VI which really won't make much sense since chronologically it occured sometime between Super Bowl IV and V. But then again this is just a silly blog.
The Super Bowl (VI) of Sex
A Mountain Retreat with Shannon
Recently I wrote in a post that I am an environmental *ucker. That doesn't mean I'm a big time Greenpeace activist, it means that the setting is as important as the act for me when it comes to sex. Truth be told I like good old missionary and am perfectly happy with that if it's say in a fine hotel in New Orleans on New Year's Eve. I enjoy a little kink now and again but I still need the good atmosphere for it to work for me.
Now I do like the outdoors and I do like water but still all things considered I enjoy the overall atmosphere and events that lead up to the encounter. I enjoy the anticipation and the lead up to sex as much as the actual sex.
After getting married Shannon and I lived in a small town in the deep South. We did not like it and I worked way too often. I got a promotion to a job back on the East Coast in a town we both liked. I didn't work as much initially so things were better between us for a time. During this time when we were still somewhat newly married but without kids we would sometimes drive away for a weekend getaway.
One spring weekend we drove up into the mountains to a very quaint artsy town near a beautiful river. There used to be a railroad along the river and it is now a "rail to trail" conversion. Our thought was to get in on a Friday, enjoy a nice dinner, wake up and go for a nice hike the next day, and enjoy another nice diner that evening. Of course I assumed there would be a lot of enjoyable sex in between. After all, if there wasn't this would not be a very good story for Kat's Blog Chain would it?
We arrived in the town around dinner time and ate at a sports bar in the hotel. It was a little late so we just walked around town a little and then went into the room. Shannon decided to take a shower. My impulse was to watch some sports but then I got up and went into the bathroom and peaked through the curtains and asked if she needed a back rub. She said sure. For the next 20 minutes we enjoyed a steamy soapy bath. It was a little too small to comforably have sex standing up but we got enough of an intro to be fairly energized.
I got out and dried off an then did my normal Greek statue posing thing laying on the bed naked and waiting for her. She came around the courner and layed on top of me. For some reason I always found that really exciting feeling her naked body on top of me. She rubbed my legs and then moved underneath me and massaged my cock with her soft hands. As she rubbed I slowly rotated over and allowed her to then fit her beautiful and delicate body on top of me. She moved over me and reached behind rubbing my balls. After severall minutes she collapsed on top of me and from underneath her I pumped hard until we were finished. We were actually fairly tired so I don't remember the rest of the night being much more than the sort of tender married cuddling one is normally accustomed to but it did feel great.
The next morning we woke up and walked down the street to an inn for breakfast.
After breakfast it was onto a state park and a walk through some striking rock formations. After the state park we drove down to the river to walk along the trail.
The trail and the river were quite tranquil. We walked for what must have been a few miles. At one point we reached a bend in the river and saw several rocks that seemed to lead out to an island. Shannon is not the adventurous type but I talked her into hopping those rocks to venture out to the island. I had something in mind!
Once on the island and facing away from the trail we were completely alone within that valley below the mountains. We dropped our backpacks and were kissing under a shading tree.
Soon my hands were inside of her pants probing for what I hoped would lead to sex. I moved behind her and prepared myself her gracefully pull her pants down in preparation for what I hoped would be very hot sex from behind.
But lo and behold as we looked down we saw what could be discribed as a swarm of beatles crawling over the rocks around us and all the way to the river. Actually a swarm would be an understatement. I was a little grossed out which means that Shannon who has a major bug phobia was 'effin FREAKING! No sex for Ryan.
Quickly we exited the island and walked back to the car. It was late in the day so we drove back to town.
Thankfully though we still were fairly horny from the encounter. The other thing here is that at this time we were starting to try to have a family. These were those great times when we were just thinking about it. We were not taking body temperatures to assess when she was ovulating and putting it on our calendars to have sex at 2:13 pm on Thursday afternoon. No this was still just that "we'll have sex as much as we like and if it happens it happens."
The good thing here is that under those conditions when a women's overies are "all afflutter" she can be a sex fiend. And there is no orgasm like the orgasm you have when you don't have any protection and you don't care at all.
So what does that all mean. It means that after we got back to the room we had another shower session with a lot of kissing, soaping, back-rubbing, and clit/dick massaging.
After the shower followed the "from behind" sex we had missed on the island but actually better here because now I had a mirror where I could look at myself plunging into Shannon's gorgeous flanks from up close and through the mirror.
I am never quite able to orgasm from behind though. And so we fell back into a missionary postion and what I will now describe as my Super Bowl of sex. For as I have said I am an environmental *ucker. No this was not kinky; what remained was just plain old vanilla missionary sex. But it was the atmosphere and the lead up that did it for me as always.
As I settled on top of Shannon's body, the body that has always felt like it fit just right for mine, we got into that perfect rhythm. After a wonderful day, with no cares in the world, and being in that blissful unified rhythm as one we orgasmed together.
Exhausted from the day we just remained in that last position soaked in sweat but feeling great.
I was a little on the fence over this month's post, Holiday Sex. It made me remember Ethel a girl I once dated. She wasn't very attractive but she was really a sweet girl. The first time we had sex was in the morning sun in front of a window facing east on Groundhog Day. I came on her shadow and then she wouldn't leave me alone for 6 weeks!
OK, so I made that story up but give me credit for linking sex to an off brand holiday - sue me! :)
Let's get onto the real Holiday sex.
Ah New Orleans, how many fine memories I have of that wonderful city. I first visited her on a spring break in college. Me and my college buddies had actually gone down to Panama City (or rather the Red Neck Riviera as some call it). We decided to take a road trip across I-10 to New Orleans and I loved it immediately. The next time I visited the Big Easy was with my dear Shannon shortly after we were married. Most people think of NOLA and Mardi Gras but it is a wonderful place around the holidays and a particularly fun spot on New Year's Eve.
Oh first before I get too long into this post, those lyrics above are from Harry Connick, Jr's. ode to his hometown "Oh, My NOLA." This story takes place in New Orleans and accoring to those funny Facebook Dobleganger things I look 82% like Harry, just slightly ahead of John Ritter. Unfortunately I'm not nearly as talented or funny as either of them. But there you go. And yes indeed you never want to be caught with a care in New Orleans.
OK so this is really just another FFF (like my Thanksgiving FFF) with some Cajun' spices. To me New Orleans is all about the FFF - Food, Football, and Fuc*i; excuse me I mean Fushia (you know purple is one of the Mardi Gras colors)! :)
So after getting married Shannon and I lived in the deep, deep South. One of our favorite diversions was New Orleans. The first time we went down there together was to do those F's. Well football was the first priority (for me at least) my team Big State U was playing in a bowl game so I decided to go down for the game. We ate a lot as well so the second F was pretty well taken care of.
But today's post is for Kat's Sex Blog Chain and I doubt Kat cares to have an analysis on how Big State won that big game. So let's move onto that third F, because in NOLA, we always did a lot of that (3rd) F'in! And of course F'in on New Year's Eve in NOLA is a wonderful thing! As an aside I am an environmental F'er meaning the atmosphere as much as the act is what does it for me.
It was so fine being in the Big Easy with Shannon. Back in those days she was so wide eyed and naive and enjoyed experiencing things with me. We got to town in the early afternoon, checked into the hotel, and then headed for Bourbon Street. We ate Seafood Etouffe and Fried Alligator tail on a restaurant balcony overlooking the street. Later we found a bar and were lucky enough to see BeauSoleil, who were in town performing ahead of the big game. I delighted at seeing Shannon twirl to the wonderful Cajun' Zydeco music and it was a joy to run into old friends on those city streets.
Later that night we returned to the room. We had a little game back then. Shannon would go into the bathroom to wash her face et al. I would undress and lay naked on the bed trying to position myself like some Greek statue as if to surprise her. When she came out of the bathroom she squeeked in delight. In anticipation of my game she too was naked. We were both pretty worked up from the night's music and spirits so not much foreplay but oh what a wonderful extended round of sex. Back then it was as if we could not get deep enough into each other. Our bodies would wrench our way into each other, gripped tightly, and moving in rhythmic motion. In the end, bathed in sweat I would often linger inside of her kissing her gently. Sometimes we even dozed off in that very position.
The next day we started with coffee and Beignets at the Cafe du Monde. We then toured NOLA's beautiful Garden District. The old homes still decorated for Christmas were lovely. We also walked through some of those old cemeteries and admired the Gothic beauty of the crypts and mausoleums (which of course have to be above ground as the city is below sea level). We meandered back to Jackson Square enjoying a peaceful carriage ride and touring St. Louis Cathedral. All in all a wonderful taste of what makes New Orleans such a timeless place rich in the melting pot of classic old world cultures.
By the afternoon we were tired and the game was that night. We headed back to our room. Time was short and we both wanted to shower. Being expeditious people, mindful of time, we of course decided to share the shower. Shannon's long elegant body with her subtle soft curves were hypnotic as the water cascaded over her. I ran the soap over her shoulders and down her back. I nibbled at her neck and ran my hands around her waste. As I pressed my fingers into her she sighed and instinctively leaned forward. The hotel shower was large and we instinctively moved to our knees in tandem and were now on the floor of that shower. Shannon leaded forward to her all fours. She reached back underneath her body and between her legs and guided me into her. Her soft body was slick and shiny from the water washing over us and the frothy soap bubbles still clinged to our bodies adding contour as they washed slowly across her beautiful round ass and down those lovely legs.
It was rapid and energetic sex as I moved into and out of her with ease, my hips mashing briskly into her soft cheeks. But the heat of the shower and the close confines made orgasm difficult for me. Mindful of time I motioned her to rise. I then picked her up wet and soapy and carried her into the bedroom. We flopped on the bed and I glided into her. We were a sloppy, soapy, wet mess and it felt as if we could not be more naked. This did not take long and we orgasmed together in a collective gasp.
BSU is not LSU
After, we got ready for the game and walked down to the Superdome and met our friends. We enjoyed an epoch game that Big State U won with a terrific second half performance. Once the game ended we headed down with the group to Bourbon Street and enjoyed a wonderful New Year's Eve. Hurricanes on Bourbon Street as we counted down the New Year was so fun. Running into old and happy Big State U buddies in the Big Easy was endearing. But holiday sex in that festive mood, in comfortable surroundings, and with the one you love - Priceless! Laissez les bon temps rouler!
And here is a great Harry Connick tune! Man is he one handsome dude! :)
Author's Note: I have to admit I have never had sex with a politician, famous person, or public figure. I thought about doing a post about the top 10 actresses I'd like to nail; sort of like a "free pass" post like some couples do. You know, "honey, you won't count it against me if I ever have a chance to have sex with Jennifer Connelly, right?" My wife's former boyfriend had some minor success with a rock band but I've already written about her having sex with another guy; I don't want to walk down that road again. So I'm left with a fantasy post. And since all those Ryan disciples (Paul that is) seem to be diggin' this chick named Ayn Rand, here is my tribute (or spoof) to that other Ryan guy - I'll let you decide (that sounds so Fox News).
And if you are not the silly no-life political wonk that I am you might want to consult wiki so you know what the hell I'm talking about - click here for Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged link. It's what all the cool Objectivist Capitalist are reading! :)
I. Prologue
In the dystopian years after the great collapse sexual freedom became strained by a glut of bad sex. The "free love" baby boom generation had imported their "Collectivist" idylls on society. Because everyone felt entitled to screw, great sex was thought to be pedantic and elitist. The National Legislature deemed kinky and craza' as treasonous. "To make the collective feel self-conscious by engaging in overly energetic fornication is anathema; to throw sexual creativity in the face of those that don't know how to hump, to do that which they should be entitled to do for free is against our nation and causes friction throughout the Collective," stated the National Leader Harmonious Reed.
Ahhh, Elle! You finally 'tooned me!
But out of the depths of despair and agonizingly boring sex rose two extraordinary individuals that took *uckin' to a new level. They would not be bound by the Collectivist intent on bad sex, they would not be held to only missionary, only 1 orgasm, only 15 minutes per screw. No, they chose to break boundaries and lead the new elite masses along a social networking path to sexual freedom. Soon shackles would be broken and inspired by their heroin Kat, all would be asking the question
"Who is Ryan Beaumont?" And how do I sign onto Ashley Shrugged!
II. Characters (as themselves mostly)
Ryan Beaumont - A distant hero, a cerebral blend of Ron Burgundy and Kenny Powers
Pony - Leader of the Canadian monogamous sub-movement Elle - A Titan of the Blogging Industry
Riff - An ancient mythical leader now a totemistic Icon
III. The Story
Scene I (an Urban Street Corner Bar)
Elle gulped down the last swig of her wine, slammed a $50 on the table and got up from her bar stool. She muttered, "I don't know why I come across the border anymore; nothing is alive down here that I can see."
Her friend sitting next to her muttered with a smile, "Oh Elle, stay a bit longer! Surely some handsome lad will come along, maybe another Ken Doll for you!"
Elle rolled her eyes and shot back, "What does it matter, now that the National Legislature added multiple positions regulations who really cares. I've had too much wine and I was never into drunk sex anyway. Of course, they've probably outlawed that too."
Elle pushed her way through the crowd, out the door, and began walking down the street at a quick pace. At the corner she stopped and looked down the empty street. She thought to herself that this once was a bustling town where a young girl could meet an eligible bachelor any day of the week. But where were those guys now? De-horned by the National Legislature - lust is gone; and a girl's soul is lost. She sighed, adjusted her coat and moved forward. She turned the corner toward her flat, the place she stayed when she was "in town."
A few steps from her stoop the wind picked up suddenly, spreading a chill across her beautiful and elegant body. Just as she shivered she glanced to her left and was startled by the image of a man leaning against a lamppost just across the street.
In shadows he waits
He started approaching her! She reached into her pocketbook fumbling for her mace and told the shadowy figure to come no further.
The figure did not heed her warning but stopped just short of her. He was but a few feet from her now but the shadow from the light behind his cap betrayed that image of the face underneath and behind that shadow.
Elle clutched her mace but was frozen. She started to renew her warning but the figure cut her off.
"Do you feel it is wrong to have a lust for life, to feel the passion that is innately in our souls? How can a government tell us we cannot feel so that others may be content and not feel left behind with mediocre sex?"
Elle thought a moment, she was confused. She shivered again and then found the breath to whisper, "Who are you?"
The figure replied quickly.
"Who is Ryan Beaumont?" Scene II (In New Calitopia)
Cara pushed through the door brusquely, drove through the house at a rapid pace, and pitched her purse onto the kitchen table and stammered, "This is too much."
Cara's friend, Kat, hustling behind her replied, "What's on your mind sweetie, do tell."
Cara now pouring a glass from her now empty bottle of Pinot said, "It's only the 10th and I'm already out of sex credits for the month, how does a girl live in this world anymore. And I can't remember the last time I've felt a tongue between my legs."
Cara looked down at her IPhone, thumbing through screens. A look of despair broke across her face, "Oh my Kat, Elle just took down her blog - she just left a weird question, what does this mean, who is..."
Kat cut her off and quickly replied, "I know honey, these new sex regulations are killing our spirit. But you know I think I may have a solution. Oh wait! No! I really shouldn't. Well you do know the question, it's right there in Elle's message."
"Yes Kat," Cara said with desperation. "I need to know there is some hope, what are you talking about?"
Kat said, "I shouldn't be talking about this but since Elle brought it up, I just have to ask the same question?"
"But where do you think she went?" Asked Cara.
Kat thought pensively a moment and then said, "I really don't know, perhaps the same place all the other sex bloggers have gone Riff, Mrs. I, Holly; one by one they are all going, leaving this horrible glut of bad sex. The National Legislature says that good sex means unfair competition for the human species but I say what makes our species great is the pursuit of exhilarating, toe tickling, orgasmic sex. You can't place regulations on orgasms; it's a human need. It is what advances us and makes us alive."
Cara pressed her finger to Kat's lips as if to stop the scandalous words she was saying. "Those statements could get you in trouble Kat! You know you shouldn't be speaking of Riff," she said.
Kat stepped back, she was in a full 'Kat mood now.' "Riff was our guidepost, he was a lighthouse in the storm of this sex-starved world. And they drove him down. If we can't morn that then what is there to morn."
Cara bit her lips and said "perhaps we should be asking these questions."
As if on cue they both exclaimed in tandem,
"Who is Ryan Beaumont?"
Scene III (Outside a NASCAR track)
"Oh my god, I didn't know you could do that on a trampoline; where did you learn that!" Misty exclaimed.
"THIS is what it is supposed to feel like my dear! Doesn't it feel good to feel alive? Now let me rub some Crisco onto your back. Give me 10 more minutes and I'll slip right in from behind, just like a corn-dog at Bristol, my darlin,'" the dark stranger said.
Puzzled and stumbling on her words Misty said, "But we already went 5 minutes beyond our approved sexual intercourse time - we might be fined."
The stranger rose up in righteous anger, "This is what we have become from the Collective, a people bound and shackled to mediocrity. Sex is for the bold and the self-reliant. We can't be bound to the stagnant stale sex where the Collective wishes us to remain. Creativity is born from Independence; Independence spawns attraction, and attraction drives us to lust and some craza' humpin!'"
"Oh dark stranger who are you? I must know," exclaimed Misty!
"Who am I?" The stranger asked back. "Do we really know who we are? I don't want you to know who I am but I do want you to ask the question, the question everyone should be asking."
Who is Ryan Beaumont!"
"I will, I will; but how do I find him?" Misty asked bewildered.
The stranger responded, "You will never find him, but you must find the movement. Look for it here (as he handed her a card). 'It' is a place but really an aspiration, a place of freedom, creativity, and the spirit of what was once ours but now lost."
The stranger turned and walked away. Misty started to follow but then remembered the card and glanced at it.
Misty looked up from the card but the dark stranger was gone.
Scene IV (at the Canadian enclave)
Pony looked at the gleam of his computer and smiled. He thought out loud, "Ah Kat it's always so good to hear from her."
Kat's note was particularly bright today. She had just been with JJ all day and was feeling very good and was telling Pony about her escapades. But Pony thought to himselt, "All day long? On the beach and later in the hotel room? In the shower? In front of the mirror? On the balcony? Dipped in Velveeta Cheese? Kat you have broken more of those silly National Legislature regulations than I care to count! Glad us sane people up here voted out the Canadian Collective last year, those Puritanical idiots down south are crazy!"
Pony was also puzzled by the Ashley thing Kat was talking about. "An on-line Sexual Objectivist movement?" Pony thought it sounded interesting but he was glad he lived where he did.
And what is this about, "Who is Ryan Beaumont?"
Pony replied to Kat,
"Dearest Kat, we Canadians already live strong and free. This Ashley thing on the www and this Ryan dude sound interesting but those of us who live north and among the Maple trees have come to understand that you can have great and energetic sex with one person. You can achieve the best Objectivism (monogamous Objectivism) through loving your one true soul mate. But I wish you well in your endeavors!"
The next day Kat replied to Pony,
"Dear Pony, see even though I hate hockey this is why I always pull against those damn Cannucks! You guys up there are so 'goody goody.' OK so I love my hubby as well and I love In-N-Out Burger too. But I don't want to only eat hamburgers every meal, every day for the rest of my life. But I do like you so I won't think ill of you. How is life North of the border these days, did you see how well my Giants are doing......"
Ah that crazy Kat, Pony thought to himself. She does make for interesting reading!
Scene V (a baseball game)
Sassy's phone buzzed. She glanced down and immediately typed in her password. It's a note from Kat she thought to herself, ignoring the fact that the dreaded 'All Soft' was at the plate for the dreaded New Harmony Yellow Stripes.
What is this question Kat is asking? "Who is....
Sassy looked up with disgust, All Soft just wiffed at strike 12. "My god these games never end since the National Legislature said it was bad for the Collective self image to have heroes strike out. Sassy thought to herself, "Poor All Soft, made to change his name from Rod because the name sounded too phallic. And New Harmony Yellow Stripes just doesn't engender the same fear as those New York Yankees of years gone by. 'Ah the old days'" she said out loud to herself.
Sassy sat back and remembered that time when she and her Phillip screwed behind the third base pretzel stand. "Oh my Philip," she thought; "Wasn't it Divine the way he buttered me and tied me into a pretzel. Oh how that used to feel! They'd never let us do that now, now that Harmonius Reed and those Collectivists have the power, makes a girl cry out just to get fondled!"
Sassy's phone buzzed again. Oh, all that reminiscing and I forgot about Kat.
The text said "Who is Ryan Beaumont?"
Sassy typed back, "What do you mean, dear Kat?"
Kat replied, "Do you wish for the days when a man and a woman could create the lust that drove the engines of our livelihoods; do you wish to scream out in erotic independence? If you do be ready to respond when asked that question. I will be in touch with you and let you know your path to sexual freedom."
Oh that Kat has spent too much time in Calitopia, thought Sassy. She got up, it was the end of the 6th inning and she didn't want to wait for that '7th inning hugs' bathroom line. She walked onto the concourse and looked at that Pretzel stand and remembered.
Just then an image stepped out from behind that column just behind the stand. It was a dark shadowy figure apparently munching on a pretzel. The figure motioned for her to come over. She hesitated but was drawn as if by gravity and then an overwhelming inertia. The figure disappeared onto an elevator to the old Corporate Skyboxes. The bell rang and the door began to close. Sassy ran and lurched forward almost diving into the elevator. She gasped for breath and looked up and saw him!
Scene VI (Kat's Underground Compound - seeking an east coast foothold)
"We are growing strong but we must develop a pathway to the east," Kat said to the group. "We must find a compatriot."
"Where does HE think we can find this compatriot?" Asked a young woman from the group.
Kat replied, "He has been spreading his message in the Midwest and is now working east. In fact he told me he just spread his message to some Super Hot lady at a NASCAR track just yesterday, that sly handsome devil! But now he seeks a high spirited lady in the East, one who longs for the past and who will spread our movement's legs wide open from coast to coast, penetrating deep and hard until all scream with our passion! He has found her this very evening tonight at a baseball game. He will show her the past and then bring her to us and to our future. Well, knowing him he'll have his way with her first. But, united we cannot fail! Together we will break the unseen shackles of mediocre sex and replace them with..., well real shackles, and whips, and chains, and leather, and a feather, and... Oh sorry, I got away from myself - JJ get over here! Excuse us." Kat said looking back to the crowd as she and JJ retreated to her secret Kat lair.
The passion of the moment had gotten to her and she needed JJ now in the worst kind of way.
Within 10 minutes "Who is Ryan Beaumont" or anyone else for that matter was the last thing on their mind! Scene VII (the Corporate Skybox - the link to the past)
The door closed behind Sassy. Her heart was racing and her vision blurred. The shadowy figure was now before her only a few feet away in the small elevator as it began to climb. Her vision began to come into focus but she could not make out his face as it was blurred beneath the shadow formed by the brow of his cap.
"Who are you, where are you taking me?" Sassy exclaimed.
"Taking you?" the shadowy man said.
"I don't take people, I liberate them!"
"Are you Ryan Beaumont?" Sassy asked.
The man hesitated and then slowly replied "I don't answer questions, I reveal possibilities. Let me show you a place where possibility once thrived."
The elevator stopped with a lurch. The bell rang and the door slowly opened to a room overlooking the field. It was adorned with opulence Sassy could scarcely comprehend.
"What is this place?" Sassy exclaimed
The man walked ahead of her to the window and removed his hat and still hidden in a shadow began to speak.
"This is a place where Titans used to screw. Here the elite played. Champagne was uncorked, business deals were made, and then doors were closed. And behind those doors things were done that have long been forgotten in this Collectivist world.
Sassy, bewildered said, "Can we ever return to that world?"
The shadowy figure finally stepped forward into the light. "Ryan Beaumont is not a man but a pathway to that world. Inspired by an ancient tail-chasin' leader Riff, he once wrote a blog about adventures. Those adventures can happen again, but only if you dare."
"I do, I dare; tell me of this place!" Sassy cried.
The man ushered Sassy to a computer and said, "Type in AshleyShrugged." Sassy looked at the screen in bewilderment. It was some type of site with pages of men and women talking about sex, how scandalous. "Does the Legislature know about this?" She asked. She continued to click rapidly through all of the profiles, all talking about what they wanted to do, the passions they wished to share. They all seemed to be from that crazy Calitopia and many seemed to be asking that same question she had heard - "Who is Ryan Beaumont?"
But they also mentioned a lady or rather a mysterious sexual leader. They called her Kat and mentioned her as the "Boudica of the booty!"
What was this strange movement, Sassy thought. She did wish to meet this movement and particularly the illustrious Kat-woman she had just recently come to know!
The man began talking again, "We have a friend in the west that is only now organizing the sexual elite. She needs a link to the east, she needs you Sassy."
The man stepped out of the shadows as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a ticket and handed it to Sassy. It was a plane ticket from Logan to LAX.
What is this for, "Sassy asked."
"This is your path to the west, go there and meet the resistance and bring the movement back east," the man said.
Sassy, now bristling stated, "I am ready, I want to go now."
For the first time Sassy saw a small expression on the man's face as a brief smile broke across his face. "Soon enough Sassy, but first let's see what we have been missing." He motioned her to follow and she did.
Scene VIII (the Old Sunset Strip)
Walking toward baggage claim Sassy saw a tall, dark, and handsome man holding a sign with her name on it. She was surprise, she didn't know anyone out here. But THE man (back East) did tell her friends would be waiting. Perhaps this was the friend he spoke of.
Sassy walked up to the gentleman with the sign.
He smiled at her and whispered, "Who is Ryan Beaumont?"
Sassy smiled and said, "I must be at the right place."
The man embraced Sassy in a hug and said, "I am JJ, Kat is waiting for you. She is so excited to meet you."
JJ drove her out of the airport and through the hills toward Old Hollywood. He turned onto the Sunset Strip.
Sassy thought to herself, "Oh the debauchery that must have happened here. I remember reading of Riff's old escapades, I wonder which paths his special travels took him around these city blocks. But oh how it is all faded now, just a broken down remnant of a memory of thrilling sexual escapades!"
The thought brought a tear to Sassy's eyes.
Just then JJ pulled the car into an abandoned parking garage. They drove to the bottom level. JJ ushered her out and then pushed through a door which led to a tunnel. Sassy followed him, as strange as this trip seemed she felt safe, as if she was visiting long lost family.
Finally they burst through a door and were welcomed into a comfy looking room. Sassy looked across the room. In an instance she saw her, it was her - it could only be her; her flaming red locks told the tale.
Kat walked up to Sassy arms extended and embraced her in a genuine hug of caring. She then motioned Sassy to follow her to a couch in the corner of the room
Once seated Kat immediately exclaimed with a wry smile, "Come now Sassy tell me of your time with him, I assume it was enriching!"
Confused Sassy replied "What ever do you mean Kat?"
"Oh Sassy, you know what I mean. What was he like behind closed doors!" Kat asked.
"Oh Kat, you must know I am very demure; it is hard for me to speak of such things. But I will say that in the skybox I enjoyed the 'surf and turf,' Ryan style that is. Oh his fillet was indeed delish dipped in the lobster bisque! These lady fingers were all over his trifle. And oh how he buttered both sides of this honey bun!"
"That reminds me of my time with him on the cliff's above Monterrey Bay," replied Kat. "We went there to watch the whales, but before the day was over what a whale I found between my legs; such ecstasy!"
But now, let me tell you how you can help the movement and bring Ashley Shrugged throughout this poor nation and insure everyone is asking...
Who is Ryan Beaumont?
Scene IX (the climax)
But just as Kat started to tell Sassy of her plans for the movement there was a large crash heard at the door. Men in black uniforms and helmets came bursting through. Behind them a man in a large black judge's robe strolled in purposefully. He was very tall and thin with piercing blue eyes and a solemn but judicious demeanor and expression across his face.
The man in the black robe continued into the room until he stood before Kat. He looked down at Kat now in righteous judgement. "You are Kat, I presume?" He asked with disdain.
Kat stood up, afraid but brave enough to meet her fate. "I am," She replied.
"I am Harmonius Reed and in the name of the Collective and the National Legislature you and this smutty collection of your slutty consorts is under arrest!" His expression now changed to one of evil contentment.
Kat undaunted posed this, "You are quite good Mr. Reed, indeed a strong, bold, and attractive man; and I do like a man that is smart and confident! However did you find us you clever, clever man?"
Reed snarling at Kat now said, "I don't owe you anything but a chastity belt!"
Kat smiling devilishly now purringly replied, "Oh but my dear Harmy I need to know, I want to know what genius delves inside that beautiful brain underneath those gorgeous flocks of wise grey mane on that beautiful and noble head of your. I bet their is quite a fire down below and inside that robe of yours. I do like a man who knows what he wants so do take me but oh my do be gentle. And do let a shy sweet girl know how you have come to discover our little group."
"Oh OK, if you must know Kat, it was Beaumont; we found him. We trailed him from the Ben's Chili Bowl concession stand at the Nationals Park back to his hideout. Apparently his other passion in life is bringing Red, Hot, and Blue BBQ back to Nationals Park. Once we caught him we were able to get his computer. We knew it was his computer because of the BBQ fingerprints all over the keypad and the jug of Chick-fil-A sweet tea sitting to the side. Once we had the computer we found out about this Ashley Shrugged movement and tracked IP address to this disreputable slut asylum."
Kat, now with a tear rolling down her face, "OH my poor dear Ryan. I knew chasing all those rich MILF's in Georgetown and McLean might get to him one day but I never guessed that his addiction to BBQ and Sweet Tea would be his downfall." Kat fell to her knees below Harmonius Reed.
"And now Kat you and your horde must meet your fate!" Exclaimed Reed.
"Perhaps not so fast my dear Mr. Reed." Kat replied, those devilish baby blues now targeted on the Leader of the National Legislature like a torrid sexual laser.
"Mr. Reed, have those beauties inside your robe ever been inside a woman's mouth? Would they like to reside in this woman's mouth just now." Kat purred as she loosened the belt of Leader Reed.
Sassy now jumping in, "Oh dear Leader I bet you'd love to have a woman ride you like a wild Bronco and perhaps gently tickle than smart little ass of yours!"
"Ladies, ladies!" Reed cried. But it was too late! In an Kat-quick instance, the ladies were upon him.
Kat and Sassy were now undressing Leader Reed, working their magic like the fine sexual artisans they were. He was putty in their hand...
(Two Hours Later)
"Oh dear ladies, you have shone me the light," Leader Reed exclaimed.
Kat replied, "Oh no dear Harmy you have shone us, my oh my even my best pretty young things are often not able to do it three times in one sexcapade! Have you been getting some of that home grown Viagra I hear about that comes across the boarder from Old Mexico?"
"No, dear Kat," Reed smugly stated. "That was 100% genuine organic me. But you have shown me a glimpse of my distant past. Oh I remember the night when I nailed half the tri-Delta's at Old Nevada U. I remember their cries of joy 'oh harmy, harmy, harmy, can ya' help me, help me, help me.' Yes those were the days when excellence could be defined in how we made each other feel. Perhaps I was wrong, perhaps we should return to those days when men and women could feel good about making each other feel actualized through sizzling sensational sex. You have brought me into the light. We must return anew to those alluring days of old. Kat, bring Ashley Shrugged to the masses so that they may have the opportunity to enjoy that which we have shared with one another."
Kat stood up with confidence, "I will Leader Reed, thank you for seeing that sex is something to be enjoyed not rationed! I will take your message and HIS to our Nation. One day soon all will be asking..."
"Who is Ryan Beaumont?"
"Ah yes my dear Kat, perhaps they will ask that; but they will take you as their hero and sing your praises through the ages." Replied Leader Reed.
Scene X (100 years from now in a park along the Bay)
Dedicated to Queen Kat circa 2016
"Who is that?" The young woman asked, pointing at the beautiful statue as she stepped forward from the group of students facing their professor and admiring the beautiful woman in stone.
"She is our patron saint," the professor said. "She is the woman who led us out of the darkness. Her passion broke down the barriers of bad sex and led to a new order of kinky. Her philosophy of Erotic Objectivism drove our nation to the creativity we enjoy today. She was our Warrior Queen of Kink, our Boudica of the booty that revolted against the Collectivist Roman Empire of bland and lifeless sex."
Another student added "She is so beautiful, the power of her sexuality drives me to want to excel to the highest levels of kinky, crazy glory."
"She was indeed a wonderful and beautiful woman," added the professor.
"Dr Nobel" asked another student.
"Who then was Ryan Beaumont?"
I think I'm hearing this song as the credits roll! :)
