I Must Be Moving On

OK, I've got a lot to do today!

*   Firstly - It's my bloggoversary (sort of)!  Yes eight years ago, two days ago, I wrote my first blog post (here)!  I had no idea how long I would go but it certainly wasn't this long.  It's been a lot of fun and as Forrest Gump once said "I'm pretty tired, I think I'll go home."  Yes, I'll probably do one more post to make it an even 500 and then I'll probably do as my gran-dad used to say "call in the dogs and piss on the fire," for as those Supertramp lyrics say "I must be moving on."  I may drop in on occasion but at some point you've got to realize you don't have too much more to say on a given topic and I've probably already said too much!  :)

*   Secondly (sort of) - This is my 499th post - oh wait, I already implied that.  But because I'm a slave to retail, I tend to mark time and efforts at odd intervals (see here).  This is sort of my Wal-Mart special, a loaf of bread for $0.99 or in this case a 500th post for the low price of 499 (psst, it's called psychology pricing or in this case blogging with a lack of cognitive purpose)!

*    Nextly -  Since I minored in English and enjoy thinking about words I don't know how to use, I always like to use this time to say a word about the word of the year.  This year the word of the year is:

Oxford - Toxic
Dictionary.com - Misinformation

These are good words for me and this blog. Finally a word that describes the reality of this blog, misinformation on how one should react to marital frustrations and the resulting pursuit of infidelity through "married dating" social sites and how to avoid the potential for toxic outcomes.  But really, aren't we so through with misinformation and toxic environments (along with other recent words of the year words like complicit and post-truth)?  I really want to get back to a time when we had meaningful words of the year like:

Well I think the best way to be complicit in moving past toxic misinformation in a post-truth world is to think about good things.  And the best thing to think about at this time of year is -

*    the real point of today, Lastly

 Which is -

 JZ's Annual Bloggers Holiday Cookie Post

Divinity - A True Southern Delight


Ingredients:

1 Cup      Boiling Water

3/4 Cup   Light Karo Syrup (btw, for Southerners there is no other corn syrup!)
3 Cups    Sugar
Pinch           Salt
2                  Egg Whites
1 Cup          Chopped Pecans
48                Pecan Halves, which in Mississippi you can usually just get in your back yard!
1 tsp            Vanilla

Instructions:
*     Heat water, Karo Syrup, Sugar, and salt to a gentle boil at 234 degrees (measure w/candy therm)
*     Separate out egg whites from eggs into mixing bowl (eggs should be at room temperature), beat/spank egg white vigorously (ask JZ how to do this) until frothy or turned on.
*     Add 1/2 of syrup to egg whites in mixing bowl, whisking constantly.
*     Continue heating remaining syrup to 270 degrees or until "crack" stage and by "crack" I mean candy, you won't be smoking this!
*     Pour "candy"/syrup mixture into egg mixture bowl, whisking constantly until high gloss turns to dull and let cool.

Not the Beaumont Mansion!

*     Fold in chopped pecans and vanilla into candy mixture.
*     Drop candy by spoonfuls onto wax paper.
*     If candy sets too fast add a drop of remaining boiling water to make creamy as you spoon onto wax paper.
*     For garnish, add a pecan half to top of candy just before it sets.

If you want a visual on this, JZ was good enough to alert me to a YouTube video on making Divinity, How to Make Real Divinity - The Hillbilly Kitchen.  This is a little different recipe but that Cream of Tartar is a good idea whenever making a meringue type recipe.  And I do like the idea of the Hillbilly Kitchen as this is real Southern!

Most people think about snow and the North Pole at Christmas.  But to me, growing up, Christmas was always about traveling south passing through Chattanooga, Birmingham, and Jackson in route to the most southern place in the world - Vicksburg and walking into my grandma's home where there would always be plates of fudge and of course Divinity.

Please check out our other cookie makers today!

Hi everyone,

Thanks again for playing along. (I love you guys!)

Here's the link list for you to include in your post.

I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with! :-)

Best,

Jz

Baker

Bogey and Bacall

Cat

DelFonte

Fondles

greengirl

Hermione

Jz

Katie

Kelly

Lindy

messymimi

Mrs. Fever

Olivia

ronnie

Ryan

Sassy

"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice;
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view,
Hope your dreams will come true......"

"Oh, I'm leaving,
I've got to go...."

No New Tale to Tell

You know summer is always the best time of year and its really been where I've had all my success on AM.  I met Alecia in May, Sandra in July, and Sandee in August.  So as the heat of summer comes over the Valley I get a little nostagic itch to see if I still have that same old Ryan message magic.  AM is a new game with a lot of new ladies in town, could they would they respond to an old Ryan or perhaps could we find a new Ryan.  Only time and about 25 credits will tell.  The amount of credits would be the amount that I have still on account across my two AM accounts.

So maybe just for the hay of it and to generate some final blog posts before I fade away to the dark web, I'll send some notes out to the AM world each month over the next few and lets see what happens.  I'll give you a little perspective, for what it worth, on what catches my eye.

To start out let's start with a note I've already written (as I'm usually writing about past events anyway).

PotomacDesires surprised me with an unsolicited note last month.  No, a wink from a 30-something lady is nothing new; probably an on-line host.  But she was "attached," didn't have a photo on her profile (bikinis on boats usually means host), was not ridiculously proportioned (e.g. not 5'10" and 110 pounds, again that typically means host or fishing), and actually had some feedback check marks that included the always important "better in person!"

Well I didn't think about it much at first, I'm in semi-retirement.  But then wait!  OMG, she has shared private photos!  I click, hmmmm...., interesting.  Shower image, a little cleavage, a little "cheeky" if you know what I mean but not overtly sexual.  I've gotten those overtly sexual private photos before, very good indication of somebody fishing for video sex/chat.  This seems plausible and overall a somewhat interesting profile though a bit brief.  Humble, again nothing screaming "online host."

OH, and she had looked at my profile.  Never write anyone who has not looked at your profile, even if they have winked or favorited, or sent you a big cherry gift. In fact if they do send you a gift don't write.  No woman who actually wants to meet a man is going to send a "virtual" cherry to some 40's something random guy on a social network!

Anyway here is PotomacDesires:

PotomacDesires2016

Am I looking for you?

• Age: 33 (Aries)
• Location: **********, Maryland, United States
• Height: 5'4" (163cm)
• Weight: 140 lbs (64kg) - Average/medium
• Languages Spoken: English
• My Limits: Whatever Excites Me
• Status: Attached Female seeking Males
• Gender: Female
• Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
• Smoking Habits: Never

Preferences and encounters I am open to:

I'm looking for a guy who can bring some spice into my life. Please be considerate and thoughtful if you wish to contact me. Can't wait to meet you.

Top of Form

Member Feedback:

 (0) gives good chat

 (1) pursues fantasies

 (0) worth the time

 (1) better in person

 (1) hot to trot

 (1) salacious

 (0) better over time

 (0) keeps promises

 (0) popular

Well, I thought; what the heck, what's 5 credits among friends.  So I drafted my first note in a LONG, Long, long, time......

Ms. Desire,
You have a very friendly face that I'd like to see in person! So you're looking for some spice in your life. Well, I'm a foodie and my favorite spices are saffron and rosemary. They are ever so slightly sweet and tangy. They add to food's natural flavors by enhancing and not dominating. They make food not only interesting but tantalizing from the moment you recognize the aroma. That is how I am. I like people for who they are. I like people to feel free to be themselves with me. Like saffron and rosemary I enhance and allow people to go where they desire and I enjoy that journey with them.

Care to add some spices together along a certain journey in our lovely area? Some wonderful spiceful adventures along that river between us! Perhaps a walk, perhaps a wine tasting, perhaps just being in the moment between the river's current and the mountains. And then......

Well, let's talk about that.

Hope you have a wonderful night Ms. Desire,

Eh, not so bad for being out of practice.  Who knows?

As in the past any style critics are invited and appreciated!  :)

Btw, were you interested in seeing my for-real AM profile?  OK, here it is:

RYAN

Just to Satisfy You

• Age: 46 (Capricorn)
• Location: Somewhere Near the Potomac, United States
• Height: 6'0" (183cm)
• Weight: 185 lbs (84kg) - Fit
• Languages Spoken: English
• My Limits: Undecided
• Status: Attached Male seeking Females
• Gender: Male
• Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
• Smoking Habits: Never

Preferences and encounters I am open to: edit

When I met you in the restaurant. I could tell you were no debutant.....

Just looking for someone who is cool and fun and we can be silly and slightly refined when absolutely necessary. But mostly just fun.

But I hope you won't see me in my ragged company. Because what we are all looking for is a magic kind of medicine that no doctor can prescribe.

And of course you will leave saying "some of your time is like one glass of water, it just keeps me thirsty for wine."

So lets not check boxes let's say shared passion and an opportunity to be completely "in the moment" with someone who is fascinating and shares joyous moments in a captivating alternative place just for us.

How about a bottle of red, a bottle of white. I'll meet you anytime you want in our Loudoun winery. Or perhaps take in the views at Great Falls or any other journey you wish!

What really turns me on: edit

A Professional/Well Groomed, Stylish/Classy, Sense of Humor, Relaxed and Easy Going, Discretion/Secrecy, Casual/Social Drinker

Someone who inspires, enchants, enthralls, bewitches, and beguiles me and challenges me to be at my best.

I enjoy someone with a wide range of interests and I don't mind a challenging opinion.

What I'm looking for: edit

Travel, Picnics, Fine Dining/Candle Lit Dinners, Cooking/Barbequing, Music Lover, Politics, Watching Sports, Playing Sports, Physical Fitness, The Outdoors/Nature, Romantic Walks, Wine Tasting, I Am a Social Drinker

I enjoy hiking, biking, basketball, working out at the gym, swimming, racquetball, and just about anything that keeps me active. I love touring local vineyards and am a bit of a "foodie" so I enjoy fine dining.

Member Feedback:

Whatever Gets You through the Night

"Whatever gets you through the night" was a John Lennon #1 US single released in 1974, at the time his first as a solo artist.  It's a very snappy happy song with a talk show theme melody and very deep sounding lyrics and yet it really was just Lennon's ode to late night TV and something a tel-evangelist said as Lennon channel surfed through one particular night.  I always find the back story so intriguing, particularly when it's so subtle next to the much more assumed substance.

You know Ashley Madison is kind of like channel surfing to us aimless, fidgety, and restless souls in unresolved circumstances.  And Ashley Madison has certainly gotten me through many nights.

So, "trust me, darlin', come on, listen to me, come on...."

This blog has really been a way for me to express my experiences through musical lyrics.  Mostly the stories drove the narrative and the music illuminated itself to me.  Sometimes I have remembered lyrics that I knew I needed to find a story to match.  On a few occasions that song so intimately married to the story that it truly affected me and created a new relationship for me with that song.

So what follows is not necessarily the posts I feel are the best or even the songs I love best but these are the posts whose song lyrics melted together with the story for me and now have left an indelible mark on my psyche.

1.     Alone Again Or - the Damned:

On two occasions I have written posts on five consecutive days.  This was one of those times.  This was a tantalizingly frustrating tale of my first "non-meeting" with Sandee, the women who would eventually be my penultimate Ashley Madison lady.  Thankfully, four years later, she is still my dear friend.  As I contemplated writing these posts I heard the song Alone Again Or on Richard Blade's First Wave show and knew it was right for the story.  As always I became more intrigued by the song the more I read.  I also found out that there is an even better version by Calexico!  A funny thing, some time later I was playing putt putt with the fam and heard Prokofiev's Lieutenant Kije Suite which was supposedly an influence for the melody written for Alone Again Or.  Shannon was taken by the melody and said "I like that music."  In response, I blurted out "oh that's Prokofiev's Lieutenant Kije Suite."  Shannon was a little startled as I generally only know things about Lynyrd Skynyrd in her mind.  Oh well, that's the problem when you try to be all intellectual in the wrong moment.

Anyway, here are the other parts of the story:

        part II
        part III
        part IV
        part V

2.     I Hate These Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

But even though I said this was not really a "best of" post I do believe this is one of the best post I ever wrote.  I think this comes the closest to what one truly feels when you are in an illicit affair amid an unhappy marriage that one feels compelled to hold onto due to social graces.  I remember writing a guest post for another blog and that blogger, who is a professional writer, really challenged me to use my words to create imagery for the reader to really see the environment I was writing about.  I think I did that fairly well in this post.  And though I never really get a lot of comments I got some really heartfelt meaningful comments in response to this post.

I know it's hard to draw deep meaning from a song with the lyrics "What do they make dreams for when you got them jeans on."  But in the environment that night this song was a perfect backdrop.

3.     Me & Honey - REM
        also the ending

These are my first and supposedly last "baker's dozen" Shannon's story post.  I kind of did the Shannon's story posts as therapeutic recreation for some fun and just to see if I could revisit our life through her eyes (or at least how I thought her eyes would see it).  It did end up being very therapeutic and those posts always got the most comments.  I guess all of you must be siding with Shannon and probably agree I'm as ass!   :)

I did end up doing more Shannon posts included pre-quels and post-quels and other various analysis.  Anything for a comment you know!

There are a few posts that as I later read them bring me to tears.  The last Shannon story post "It's Not as though I Really Need You" does exactly that.  I'm not sure if it's a source of some pride or simply feeling the tranquility Shannon must have felt at that moment of such great achievement for someone whose life had originally been set for a fairly common trajectory. 

4.     One Particular Harbor - Jimmy Buffett

I love Jimmy Buffet music, I love basketball, and I love Carolina girls and this post has it all.  Oh, I also love a good coming of age story and I tried to weave basketball, women, music, and a coming of age story I once saw into a two (and later a third) part post about life on Tobacco Road in the early 90's.  God I love that song, so peaceful.  And I still wonder whatever happened to that White Polo jacket of mine.

"Ia Ora Te natura!"

5.     You're the Lucky One - Allison Krauss & Union Station

If it's not good enough to write a blog about your past life then take that same past life and mold it into a children's tale you steal from a beloved story.  I have always loved the story of the Velveteen Rabbit.  The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane is a somewhat updated version of the Velveteen Rabbit and seemed to fit my life.  I have certainly had my days as a somewhat haughty self-important person as I progress through my early adult years.  A few things pinned my ears back and led me to the life that led me to the blog.  This was a good way to show myself how I got here.  And of course this Allison Krauss song provided a great musical backdrop that perfectly echos my thoughts.  I have certainly in my life been a "Jack of all trades and a master of none..."  But always lucky and I do like to look at life with a smiling eye!

I'm just hoping I end with a great final chapter as I still owe you that part!

        part II
        part III
        part IV

6.     Fox on the Run - Manfred Man (the Country Gentlemen)

In fall 2010 I was juggling four relationships: a rocky relationship with Shannon, a gentle sweet relationship with Sandra, a tantalizingly new potential relationship with Keely, and an even more seductive relationship that was a blog I was starting to write based off some ideas I got from reading another blog called Ashley and Me written by the great Riff Dog of days gone by.  What had started as a curious adventure had sent me on many chases.  But now I felt chased and this song felt oh so right.

7.     All in My Mind - Love and Rockets

We all go through high school, college, dating, marriage.  We learn how to break up and be broken up with.  There are the old tenets, "your a nice guy but....,"  "let's hit the pause button, we can still be friends."  It becomes almost like a menu.  But nobody ever tells you how to act in an affair and thus nobody tells you how to end an affair.  Often it ends and we just don't know it until we realize it's over and you realize you just moved on and nobody is the worse off.  Sandra is a wonderful person and I truly enjoyed the time with her.  She made me feel great.  We moved on, I hope she is happy; she deserves it.  I am happy for knowing her.

8.     Where to Now St. Peter - Elton John

When I wrote this post I truly thought things were over with Sandee and that I may never see her again.  Our relationship was such a part of me and I was not sure how to feel.  Sadness?  Perhaps, but really just wondering what comes next, much like the mood of this song.  Her presence on the blog had become ubiquitous and the joy I had in writing about our relationship took my blog to new levels.  Thusly, writing this post seemed like I was killing that main character.  I was sad and it perplexed me that I was not sure how much I was sad for the lost relationship or the lost character.  As is often the case the blog forced me to look critically inward into who I really was.  Thankfully Sandee came back to me and continues to be my friend.  And of course the blog continues to meander though on a somewhat uncertain path, as does my relationship with both Sandee and Shannon.  So I kick the can down the road for my stories and perhaps the discovery of who I am, the person who mourns a lost friend or a lost character.  It will be interesting to find that resolution, or perhaps not.

*     The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway - Idina Menzel (from the Frozen soundtrack)

This is probably that other post that always brings me to tears.  It's also, in my opinion, the post I'm most proud of.  From a sexy perspective Blurred Lines probably better connects with readers but from an introspective point of view (albeit in this case Shannon's introspection) this is more cerebral and emotionally deeper.  I did do a lot of soul searching and put a lot of thought behind this post.  Writing this did help me better understand Shannon.  I do feel that the concept of Johari's window is what makes marriage so difficult and Ashley Madison so appealing.  Making a marriage successful requires that you go to the blind spots of your partner's comfort zone that are perhaps new to you.  Success in marriage will require that you navigate and master these blind spots.  Unfortunately many never do and many relationships then fail.  With Ashley Madison you invite people into your facade.  They either oblige you or they don't.  But those that do necessarily welcome, accept, and endorse your facade.  In fact your facade may be their temporary facade.  The result is that temporary satisfaction that comes from being oneself for a moment with no commitment to being something you are not for the sake of another.  It's not reality but it does satisfy for a moment which is exactly why it's so hypnotic and seductive.

*     Arthur's Theme - Christopher Cross

Nothing like night-time kayaking on the Potomac for some romance.  For sex I think this was my best post.  "Her long hair cascading down into my face had that sweet floral aroma I have so come to enjoy.  Those floral accents augmented the salty beads of perspiration that now formed gilded island across her breasts."  Yeah, I think that could go into a romance novel!  Why say more.  Oops I'm back to being haughty and self-important now.

I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane, I enjoyed the memories as well.

Anyway, "whatever gets you through your life.  It's all right, it's all right.  Do it wrong, or do it right; it's all right, it's all right..."

I Don't Believe You've Met My Baby

A few years ago when I first started blogging there seemed to be many bloggers writing about this strange world of relationships on these odd little social websites.  I, of course, was mostly interested in any information one could find about that most elicit site, Ashley Madison.  Back in those days there was one source for all good information Ashley Madison related, and that was Riff Dog.  What made Riff Dog great was not just the sexy stories he spoke of but the lifestyle behind the stories, the personalities of the women he encountered, and his reflections on his experiences and how it shaped him.  There were many others during that time Ms. Inconspicuous, Kimberly Errant Wife, as well as others such as Elle who was just a single girl navigating those more "proper" social channels such as Match.com.  Getting to know those bloggers and interacting with them was fun, getting comments from them was invigorating.  Riff, as I said, was the king of this little enclave of bloggers and what I most admire about him was how he supported the community by commenting on other blogs and often mentioning other blogs in his posts.  He even had a habit of directing his readers to other blogs if he was going to be dormant for some time.

Btw, for some reason there is a remnant of his blog here.  And you will see how he so kindly mentions a newer'ish blogger named Ryan.

I do miss those blogs.  Some blogs are still with us; Kat is still around and writes occasionally, so is Sassy.

I find it harder and harder to write consistently.  If it were not so occasionally completely a joy I would stop and I will stop soon.  But for now I will once again emulate Riff and use this space and time to direct you to other blogs I find interesting of late.

You see I am a bit weird.  Sure I enjoy sex and the reading thereof.  But more than that I enjoy that one is enjoying the writing thereof.  In the movie Chariots of Fire the famous English runner Eric Liddell says (speaking of God and his joy of running) "and when I run I feel his pleasure."  When I read a blog I want to be entertained but I want to feel the pleasure of the author.  I want to know they enjoy writing what they are writing about.

What I have always loved with Kat or Elle, and certainly with Riff is that they delighted in the telling of their tales of meeting people along those social highways as if they were Alice meeting the Cheshire Cat and in the case of meeting guys invariably the Mad Hatter and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb.  Yeah, somewhere out there a lady is writing about me, I'm pretty sure which part I played!  :)

Here are a few blogs I follow and I find interesting.  Some I've only come across within the last few weeks or even days.  But I think you will enjoy them.

Lapsed Catholic Wife - "I can resist everything except temptation" - O Wilde

One of the first things you might notice about Lapsed Catholic Wife's blog is that she has a penchant for starting posts with quotes, often music quotes and sometimes music quotes from B side Elton John songs.  Why that would be attractive to me I'm not sure but it is.  But like Kat she weaves moral discussions of (perhaps just slightly) amoral behavior such as Bald or Bush or the Secrets of a good Ashley Madison profile.   So obviously some very good stuff.  But she has met so many interesting gents in merry old England and while she observes she does not judge.  Sure some of them are perhaps not exactly bonnie Prince Charlies but she really seems to delight in telling how they have shaped her.  I find it interesting how some have become pals, some confidants, some perhaps toys, but all have been part of her journey.

Adventures of a Happy Hotwife

This lady hardly needs my help as she has a good following.  I am sure many of you who read this blog read her's, as her blog is one of the biggest contributors to hits on my blog.  But just in case you have not seen her blog you should take a look.  She doesn't write as much these days but what she has to write about is always scintillating.

Southern Georgia Bunny

Southern women just have a way of telling a good story like what to do when a condom falls out of your purse at Starbucks.  Georgia Bunny has lots of good tales of the Southern Gents she has met all with good Southern charm.  I love the fact that she has posts like "the Terrible, no Good, Very Bad Evening" that is in a word - terrible!  The evening that is, the post is delightfully funny in response to a series of rather unfunny ridiculous events.  But I do love those who can put a funny spin on things.  She is all about education as well as she often ends her posts with a moral like "bed a doctor with good bedside manner."

I like that!

XOJane

This is another blog that hardly needs my help.  XO Jane is an online magazine geared towards women.  It has a lot of practical stuff but also a lot of just zany silly stuff.  In spite of what Shannon says I love smart funny women!  Will some of my female blogging friends please verify that!  :)

But you really never know what XO Jane is going to be talking about.  It could be talking about nail polish, it could be talking about hosting a sex party.  And sometimes they even talk about Dolly Parton tours and how much they love her.  I love love them for loving her because God knows I love Dolly Parton!

If you want a more millineal/hypsterish chick experience check out JessicaDrunk @ Blog with Benefits for some good relationship advice with a little backspin and contrarian appeal!


"And then my heart was filled with ease..."