Thursday, March 15, 2012

Your Grace Provides for Me

A Love Story

Or Here in Higglytown We'll All Jump Around

You know a lot of bloggers out there have multiple blogs so if they love sports, or knitting, or travel, or politics they can get that out of their system in their other blogs.  Me, I barely can keep up with one so I have taken out my miscellaneous rants on politics, puffed out my chest on sports, and sometimes mentioned my family and vacations here.  This is all I "gots" so it is what it is.

Just draw it!
So my girls are starting to grow up.  We have traded Barnie for Selena and Little Einsteins for Lemonade Mouth.  It got me to reminiscing about the music I used to listen to with them in the car and I even started to write a "where are they now" post in my head.  For instance that quote above "here in Higglytown" is from the title song to that Disney cartoon.  That theme song btw was performed by They Might Be Giants, a fairly well known Alternative Rock group from the late 80's.  You know Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo fame is in that Nick Jr show Yo Gabba Gabba.  And Tim Fin of Split Enz fame often performed with the Wiggles in the early 2000's.  Maybe I should jump on board and give up all this chasing women stuff and retire to writing children's books!

But it got me to thinking further about a song that I have always associated with "my girls."

As an aside, Ryan has become somewhat of a character or alternative personality.  Of course everything of what he/I talk(s) about is true (just changed names with some slight embellishments) but he does tend to be separate from the actual me (who will continue to remain nameless) much like my adventures described here remain separate from the me of my day to day life.

Anyway, I tend to constantly self assess.  Life is pretty good right now but I've recently felt a bit restless (obviously or I wouldn't be writing a blog called the Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad).  I've been thinking, are these the best of times?  If so, why?  If not, why?  And if not, when were they the best of times, and why?

The end result of my analysis was that things are basically pretty good.  But my analysis reminded me of a time when I know I felt really good about myself.  Perhaps not so much as a guy but as a person and more importantly as a father.  And so I come to my point of describing the loves of my life; my daughters.

Way back several years ago when I first came to this little bedroom community outside of DC and started to enjoy this easier career and life and while Shannon's career was taking off I got the greatest gift I have ever known.  That is the responsibility of taking care of my daughters.  Not just simply shuttling to daycare and ballet but really being there for them.  And though that time is fond to me now when I analyzed it I realized it was pretty tough at the time.  I had a new job, we had a new home, Shannon was in the midst of an affair and was threatening divorce.

Through this time I often wondered if I was providing for my daughters or if they were providing for me.

I tend to force a lot of classic country on my daughters when they are not demanding their preferred Disney Channel on XM radio.  But back in these years I am describing I had more control so I was able to induce them to enjoy the Dixie Chicks and Allison Krauss and other bluegrass groups I enjoy.

So back to that song I alluded to above, one AKUS song always stuck out for me and it is the title of this post.  The song "In the Palm of Your Hand" describes her faith.  But for me it so aptly described what I felt for my daughters and how their "grace" constantly provided for me.

I can't imagine my life "without the love that (their) life brings (me)."

Their "grace will (always) see me through."

Their "faith" in me "can see right through the circumstances, sees the forest in spite of the trees."

Their "grace provides for me."

Barbara Mandrell has a song called "Child Care."  It's about divorce and how she gets child care from her former husband but the best child care she received was from her son who took care of her emotionally.

Please take a listen to this beautiful Allison Krauss song below.

Btw, the guy tapping on the guitar in this vid is Dan Tyminski who was George Clooney's character's voice in the song "Man of Constant Sorrow" (by the Soggy Bottom Boys) in the movie "O Brother Where Art Thou."

"In The Palm Of Your Hand"

If I could have the world and all it owns
A thousand kingdoms, a thousand thrones
If all the earth were mine to hold
With wealth my only goal

I'd spend my gold on selfish things
Without the love that Your life brings
Just a little bit more is all I'd need
'Til life was torn from me

I'd rather be in the palm of Your hand
Though rich or poor I may be
Faith can see right through the circumstance
Sees the forest in spite of the trees
Your grace provides for me

If I should walk the streets no place to sleep
No faith in promises You keep
I'd have no way to buy my bread
With a bottle for my bed

But if I trust the One who died for me
Who shed His blood to set me free
If I live my life to trust in You
Your grace will see me through

I'd rather be in the palm of Your hand
Though rich or poor I may be
Faith can see right through the circumstance
Sees the forest in spite of the trees

If I could have the world
If I could have the world and all it owns


Gertie said...

That's really sweet Ryan, you're family is very lucky to have you!

Max said...

Lovely post. Coincidentally, I also just posted about the joy of daughters. :-0

Kat said...

Very, very sweet. Beautiful song, too.