Thursday, March 1, 2012

Yeah, I Heard a Funny Thing

Or Day Two

Well, I really didn't think Friday was going to be a go anyway.  Saturday all along was the big day I was aiming for.  I did have to work until mid-afternoon but after that it was "Saturday Night's Alright for Fight(uck)ing."

I did go on a walk around the neighborhood Friday night and texted Sandee for a long time.  Again, nothing of substance just poking fun at each other, talking about biking, kayaking, etc.  But I still got that "clicking" feeling not the "I'm being taken" feeling.  I was still very intrigued.  And she was upbeat about meeting on Saturday.

Again, I rolled out the crab shack destination, a really neat restaurant I know about way up near PA (really just an hour away), or even just good ole' Georgetown or Olde Towne Alexandria.  Lot's of options, something had to stick.

Also, I had brought in 2 mountain bikes to work so I had suggested we go on a ride in this beautiful park in town.  It was a gorgeous day outside; I was really upbeat about the possibilities.

Throughout Saturday I texted her from work.  Everything was looking good, she said she could meet around 2 pm and had the whole night available.

But her husband "grumpy" was always present in her worries.  Apparently ER doctor's (or at least Sandee's husband) are real jerks to live with.  He was apparently arrogant, possessive, and had a very bad temper.

Around 1 pm I got a text from Sandee "can we bump it back to 4'ish?"  I said that was OK.  If that was all from her text I would be suspect but as always she was flirty and upbeat about touring my the town, taking a bike ride, and then going out for dinner.  In my gut I really thought she was trying.

At 4 pm I texted to make sure she knew how to get here.  Actually trying to prompt a responses as to if she was actually coming.  A few minutes later she texted back "how long are you going to be there?"

I said "to about 6 pm; once the sun starts to set I turn into a pointy toothed creature."  Still trying to insert humor. Again, she wrote back that she would be on her way soon and this led to vampier humor, et al.  We both joked about this being a trap for the other.  Note, when you can create humor out of stalking, trapping, vampiers, etc. things are usually pretty good.

I say this because I was also thinking about Elle here as I remember her once saying on her blog that if a guy can make a joke about "rufees" that makes a girl laugh then he is pretty funny.  Elle, I tried to find that post (I think maybe it was about a bad date last summer) but try as I might I just couldn't so if you see in your stats that some scary guy read your entire blog and spent 2 hours on it, it's just me!  :)

Just kidding, I'd never spend 2 hours reading!

Anyway, Sandee was still enjoying my "rufees" or rather "vampire" humor at this point.

As an aside through text and e-mail all seemed OK.  There were no "red flag" messages that would make it seems like she was trying to "out me" or rip me off.  She always seemed genuinely interested and enjoying the exchange of notes.

Well we got closer and closer to 6 pm and Ryan was starting to get tired and ready to go home.  I texted Sandee again and she simply replied "grumpy is being mean, he won't let me go; I'll try to explain later."

Sigh, Kat you were probably right.

But maybe, I'm taking the wrong strategy.  To be honest Sandee seemed a bit scatter-brained.  Not stupid mind you, just a little disorganized.  Maybe I should be bringing the Ryan show to her!  I have been going off script to some extent by having her come to me; perhaps that was too lazy and/or arrogant.  My past success has always been predicated on making a meeting "turn-key," let me come to you and you can just show up at a convenient location and I'll do all the work.

That's it Ryan; you have to remember to make it "turn-key" and make it easy and convenient to say yes.

That night I texted Sandee again while I was walking in the neighborhood.  This time (meaning Sunday or Monday) I would drive down to her town and make meeting easy for her.  Her town was really cute and I knew it fairly well.  It had a great coffee shop in the old historic part of town.  I know coffee is cheap but at this point I think I needed to make this low risk and low maintenance for her.  The romantic bike rides along the lake, the wine tastings, and scrumptious dinners would have to wait for now.  I just needed a meet-n-greet.  The rest would take care of itself later.

According to Sandee she did try to leave.  But apparently "grumpy" was mad at the amount of money she spent the other weekend with the girls at Tyson's Square and was further angered by the fact that she dared to have a night on the town with those girls Friday night.  Apparently the girls were a bad influence and he was sure she would be up to no good with her girlfriends Saturday night if she went out.

Hmm..., if he only knew the type of influence Ryan was trying to peddle on her!

Hey that looks like Ryan & Staff!
So the day evolved or should I say devolved almost like a song I once heard:

"Once upon a crisp fall day; just a dream from yesterday
Ryan and his golden girl, wanted to eat some crabs with Old Bay
Come and play with me Sandee, come and play with me
And I will take you on a trip far across the Potomac River"

Does this look like an ER Doc?
"But Sandee belonged to a kooky old Doc
Who didn't want his hot bride got
From his Vroom Broom out in the drive
He watched poor Ryan's plan dematerialize
He waved his scope
The beautiful day was gone
The sky grew dark, the river grew rough,
and Ryan stayed home ALONE, Alone, alone, alone......"

And the fair Sandee!
Hey that is the second time I've quoted H.R. Pufnstuf lyrics in my blog; wow you can judge a book by it's cover!


Gertie said...

It's rather disappointing that it looks like SanDeE* won't materialize. The nerve of this email queen! LOl

Kat said...

Ryan, repeat after me...

"Kat is ALWAYS right."

You must *really* love the chase.

Ryan Beaumont said...

@ Gertie - just keep reading babe, you know someone once told me "stupid is as stupid does" and you know I'm the king of stupid so just keep reading and see what I keep doing.....! :)

@ Kat - yep, you're right; now I just need to get you to say "Ryan is the hottest stud in the whole wide blogosphere" and then we will really know you are ALWAYS RIGHT! But yes I do like a good chase!

Elle said...

Unlike Kat, I am almost always wrong. Therefore, your rufee joke might have done you in!

Just kidding.

Listen Ryan, for your sake I really do want Sandee to materialize and to be better and sluttier than anticipated. I really do. But selfishly, I want even more for Sandee to be an overweight 60 year old gay man. Because that way I can:

a) Keep you all to myself
b) Laugh uncontrollably for at least an hour

Ryan Beaumont said...

Geez Elle don't make me show all my card too early. Now if I use the ole fat gay guy schtick people will say I just ripped it off of you! Now I have to go thinking about another type of person Sandee might be.

Maybe she could be a swimsuit model (oops!)