Thursday, January 30, 2014

I Wanna Be a Billionaire So Frickin' Bad

Hey it's a Super FFF'n Day
So head over to Three Spelling Mistakes
and join in!

Thing 1 and Thing 2!
I for one am not really officially joining in today as I have another task at hand (see below).  But it is a nice picture and it reminds me of one of my favorite authors who's influence I hope you see permeates my prose that I do a quick paraphrase so.

Then he got on my couch
with a tip of his beer.
"I call this game fun with your cock,"
said that cat Ryan right here.

With your cock you can do two things
and that I will show you how.
You will like these two things,
I will show you now.

What I have in the next room I like to call
Thing One and Thing Two
These things like to suck cock
they like to go down.

And at the mention of that upon the couch
Oh my did two things come with big tits attached.
These things were in fact Thing One and Thing Two.
And if they did not suck cock I'd be fine just *ucking those racks

They said "how do you do 
do you want your cock sucked 
by Thing One and Thing Two."
And who was I to turn down that which was offered.

And I of course knew not what to do
So in fact I let my cock be sucked
by Thing One and Thing Two

They sucked and they sucked
but then oh my Shannon did say 
"those ho's shouldn't be in this house, make them go!"
They should not be sucking your cock, even if I would not!

Put them out put them out said Shannon
and zip in that cock
And so with a frown I did zip up my cock
turned on the game and grilled up some brats

Oh my that was kind of fun for quick and sloppy!

But as you can probably tell by my lyric title I have a post that is going to talk about the big Bruno Mars concert this Sunday night on TV.  I think there is some kind of game going on also. But Bruno does drop the "F" bomb when he sings those lyrics with Travie McCoy.  But I think I'd prefer another Janet Jackson costume malfunction to that!

You know along with music I also like food.  In that song Bruno says "a different city every night oh I swear the world better prepare..."  So in light of that I'd like to take some cuisine from two random cities - like say Seattle and Denver and show them to you here.  I like to call this:

Ryan's Best Food of the Super Bowl Cities!

The one thing I see in my mind when I think about these two cities is the Wilderness Lodge in Disney.  One of the best restaurants in all of their properties is Artist Point.  There you can get fresh salmon, bison, and many other great earthy treats.  So in the spirit these cities, teams, and that restaurant my Super Bowl menu is:

Maple Whiskey Cedar Planked Salmon
Herb Roasted Yukon Gold Potatoes
Sweet and Spicy Green Beans
Artist Point Berry Cobbler

And pair this with a nice Willamette Valley Pinot Grigio!

And if you are really adventurous you can add that Rocky Mountain favorite Mountain Oysters as an appetizer (if you dare)!   Maybe even have a side competition over who can teabag the most oysters at one time!  :)

Here's how you do it:

Planked Salmon (adapted from Artist Point menu):

1               Red Cedar Plank
16 oz        Whole Wild Caught Alaskan Salmon
2 oz          Walnut Oil
2 oz          Maple Syrup
4 oz          Canadian Whiskey 
6 springs  Fresh Herbs incl Rosemary and Thyme (rough chop 1/2)

*               Soak cedar board with half of Whiskey for about an hour.
*               Heat cedar board in oven for 15 minutes at 400 degrees.
*               Brush board with Walnut oil.
*               Rub chopped herbs into salmon flank.
*               Lay half of fresh herbs on plank.  Place Salmon, skin down, onto plank over herbs.
*               Mix remaining whiskey and syrup together and drizzle over salmon.
*               Cook at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes

Planking is a way to get the best of all worlds.  The softness of the wood allows the fish to steam gently and remain tender and flaky.  Yet the wood also adds a natural "smokiness" and whatever you use to soak the plank to the flavor.

Herb Roasted Yukon Gold Potatoes:
Artist Point is a gorgeous restaurant!

1#             Yukon Gold Potatoes
1/2 Cup    Infused Oil (olive, grape seed, walnut)
1 tsp         Sea Salt
1 tsp         Cracked Black Pepper
1 Tbs        Chopped Fresh Parsley and Rosemary

*               Rub potatoes with oil until soaked.
*               Combine spices into mixing bowl. 
*               While potatoes moist from oil roll them in spice mixture, coating outside.
*               Bake potatoes at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes (until soft).

Spicy Asian Green Beans (borrowed from

1#             Fresh Green Beans
2 Tbs       Soy Sauce
1 Clove    Garlic
1 tsp         Garlic Chili Sauce
1 tsp         Honey
2 tsp         Canola Oil

*               Arrange steamer basket over a pot of boiling water.  Steam beans for 4 minutes.
*               In bowl, mix all spices together (no oil yet).
*               Heat canola oil in skillet on medium.  Add beans and fry for 4 minutes. 
*               Pour sauce mixture over beans and fry for an additional 2 minutes.

Artist Point Berry Cobbler (from Artist Point menu):

3 Cups          All-purpose flour
1/4 Tbs         Salt
2.5 Tbs         Baking Powder
1.125 Cups  Granulated Sugar (prefer turbinado)
1/2 Cup        Unsalted Butter
2                   Eggs
1 Cup           Heavy Cream
2 Cups         Blueberries (and/or blackberries, raspberries)
8 Tbs         Brown Sugar
8 Tbs         Unsalted Butter
Pan Spray
Whipped Cream or Ice Cream
4                 Ceramic Ramekins

*                 Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar.
*                 Break 1/2 cup of butter into small pieces and mix into flour.
*                 Crack eggs and mix in until absorbed into flour.
*                 Add heavy cream and mix until incorporated (batter should be lumpy).
*                 Divide dough into 4 pieces.
*                 Spray bottom of 4 ceramic ramekins with pan spray.
*                 Gently form dough pieces into ramekins, covering bottom and spread evenly.
*                 Spread berries atop each dough piece in ramekins.
*                 Sprinkle each cobbler evenly with brown sugar.
*                 Dot each cobbler top with butter (from 8 Tbs).
*                 Bake in heated oven @ 350 degrees for 15 minutes (or use the clean toothpick test).
*                 Cool to room temperature and serve with ice cream or whipped cream

My Prediction:  Well I usually like to take deep statistical analysis to make my predictions like which team has the hottest cheerleaders or which town has the best music scene.  In this case I think the cheerleaders are a push.  The music scene?  Well let's just say based on that, this would be an epoch beat down by the greatest music town of my generation!  But actually since I'm always for using other people's ideas I'll just go with the Madden results with perhaps a slightly lower score and say Peyton will be going to Disney after Denver wins in a close hard fought game.  I think TD's will be hard to come by so I'll say Denver 23-16.

"Oh every time I close my eyes, (watch ya see, what you see brah?)
I see my name in shining lights, (uh huh, uh huh, what else?)
A different city every night, oh I
I swear the world better prepare (for what?)
For when I'm a billionaire"


cammies on the floor said...

Dr Seuss style on that shit!
Those pictures of food look amazing, btw

Tom said...

I think you win for funniest take this week!

I worry about serving fish at a Super Bowl party. Don't want to stink up the joint.

Madden has been pretty reliable, you might be on to something.