Bump Bada BAH, Ba Ba Ba Ba Bump Bada BAH

I always look forward to this post; it's my annual celebration of the foods of the Super Bowl cities.

Here is my post from 2011 (here) and from (2012).  Those lyrics in case you couldn't tell are not actually lyrics but the sounds from one of those old goofy and histrionic NFL films documentaries.  God I used to love those!

But before I talk anymore about pro football I want to re-cap how I did on my bowl game analysis from this year.  I done pretty good!  :)

Orange Bowl:  Ryan's prediction FSU 34-17, actual FSU 31-10.  I don't like the 'Noles but I dated an FSU chick once and they do rule!

Rose Bowl:  Ryan's prediction Stanford 48-42, actual Stanford 20-14.  Got it right they just didn't score like I thought.  Too much ground game not enough going deep!

Sugar Bowl:  Ryan's prediction Florida 27-14, actual Louisville 33-23.  I think the Gators must have gotten off the bus in Pensacola because that sure was not an SEC team that showed up in NOLA.

Fiesta Bowl:  Ryan's prediction Oregon 42-38, actual Oregon 35-17.  Collin Klein scored as much as a virgin at mass; oh wait he is a virgin!

BCS Championship:  Ryan's prediction 'Bama 27-13, actual - who the *uck cares did you see the QB's girlfriend for Christ sakes (DAMN)!

And here are those Super City Recipes:

Baltimore

Maryland Crab Soup

Ingredients:

1 28 oz Can of Whole Tomatoes, diced
3 Cups of Water
2 Cups of Clam Juice
1 Cup of Lima Beans
1 Cup of Baby Carrots
1 Cup of Whole Kernel Corn
3 Tbs of Chopped Onions
1 Tbs Old Bay Seasoning
1 Pound of Crabmeat
Fresh Parsley, Scallions, Salt, and Pepper to taste

*   Combine tomatoes, water, clam juice, vegetables, and spices in a 4 quart saucepan.
*   Bring mixture to boil on medium heat.  Reduce to low and leave at simmer.
*   Add Crabmeat and let simmer for 10 minutes.
*   Add Parsley, Scallions, salt, and Pepper to taste or to garnish.

Mini Crab Cakes with Old Bay Remoulade

Ingredients:

1/2 Pound Phillips backfin crabmeat
1 Pound Phillips lump crabmeat
1/2 Cup Red Bell Pepper chopped
1/2 Cup Red Onion chopped
1 Tbs Olive Oil
1 Tsp Old Bay seasoning
1/4 Cup of Parsley
2  Eggs
3/4 Cup of Panko Breadcrumbs
1 tsp Italian Seasoning
3/4 tsp of Worcester Sauce
3/4 tsp Lemon Juice
1/2 Cup of Mayonaise
Dash of Crab Boil

Salt and Pepper to Taste

1/4 Cup Olive Oil (for saute)

*   Whip eggs and mix into Worcester, lemon juice, Old Bay, and Mayo.
*   In a separate bowl mix the crabmeat, veggies, parsley, olive oil, breadcrumbs, and italian seasoning.
*   Add wet ingredients to crabmeat mixture and combine thoroughly.  Add the dash of crab boil or Tabasco for some extra zing if desired.
*   Portion into 1.5/2 oz cakes.
*   Saute on medium heat in olive oil until crispy and brown on both sides.

Place on a toast point with a dolup of the Old Bay Remoulade and sing "you say you came to Baltimore from Ole Miss..... moonlight, feels right!"

The Remoulade:

1 Tbs Dijon Mustard
1 Cup Catsup
1 Tbs fresh squeezed lemon juice
2 Tbs grated Horseradish
1 Cup Mayonaise
1 tsp Old Bay Seasoning
A few capers if you wish
Dash of Hot Pepper Sauce

*   Remoulade - mix Dijon Mustard, Catsup, Horseradish, Mayonaise, and Old Bay together in bowl until thoroughly combined.  Refrigerate until ready to serve.

If you don't want to go to all that trouble just stop by a Phillips Seafood and pick up some crab cakes or look for some at your local Wegmans!  Btw, if you are ever driving through Fredrick, MD down I-70 or down the 270 spur to DC get off at the Buckeystown Pike and stop by May's Restaurant.  It's a Ryan fav and they bring out the crab by the tray-full!

San Francisco:

I got to tell you this kind of stumped me a bit.  I thought SF would be easy just like Chicago, New York, Pittsburg, or maybe Philadelphia.  But when I got to thinking about it, San Francisco really doesn't have a distinctive single food like Chowder, Chicago Hot Dogs, New York style pizza, or a Philly Cheese Steaks.  I've been to SF on two occasions and the food is awesome.  Sure they have Sour Dough bread, it was popular with 49'ers during the Gold Rush because the traditional leavening ingredients of yeast and baking soda were not as reliable under the conditions the minors encountered.  The 49'ers mascot is even named for Sourdough.  San Francisco is home to Ghirardelli which makes great chocolate and everybody love chocolate, right.  And of course there is always Rice-a-Roni (that SF treat) which really does have it's origins in SF from an Italian immigrant who settled into the Mission district and sold pasta.  His wife developed a recipe of rice pilaf mixed with macaroni, hence rice and roni.  The rest is history.

But what I really think of when I think of San Francisco cuisine is that fact that SF is perhaps even more eclectic than NYC.  In SF you have a strong Italian influence in "Little Italy."  You have the strong Pan-Asian influence that is much more than just Chinatown.  You also have the Hispanic influence and even that Sonoma cowboy flavor.  You have the remnants of the old 60's California car culture of American Graffiti reflected in Mel's Diner.  And of course there are all those hippies in Berkeley that just eat brown rice and tofu!

So I guess my tribute to San Francisco is fusion which I do love.  I love learning how a certain food came to be based on varying influences.  As such I'll leave you with this - Chop Suey.

Yes Chop Suey, that most Chinese of dishes (we think), is in fact not Chinese.  At least it didn't come from China, it came from immigrant Chinese laborers who settled in San Francisco and needed an inexpensive taste of home or something cheap to serve to those minors along with their Sourdough bread.

Chop Suey

Ingredients:

2 Pounds of boneless skinless chicken breast meat diced (sub in beef, pork, shrimp, scallops, or just go veggie if you prefer)
1/2 Red Bell Pepper Diced
1/2 Yellow Bell Pepper Diced
1/2 Green Bell Pepper Diced
1/2 Red Onion Diced
1 Head of Fresh Broccoli
2 Tbs Soy Sauce
2 Tbs Fish Sauce
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 Tbs minced garlic
1/2 tsp Cayenne pepper
1/2 Cup Pineapple Juice (optional)
If you have stuff like baby carrots, bamboo shoots, cabbage, snow peas, etc. chop them up and throw 'em in also!
1 Pound of Lo Mein Noodles

*   Blanch broccoli until slightly tender
*   Sautee chicken breast on medium heat until brown in about 2 Tbs of vegetable oil.  When about half done add salt, pepper, garlic, and juice.
*   When chicken is done add vegetables and sauté until tender.  As the mixture is almost done add in soy and fish sauce, cover, and let simmer for about 5 minutes.
*   Serve over Lo Mein noodles with an egg roll and Fortune cookie!  And remember as that famous Fortune cookie once said "never give up unless defeat arouses that girl from accounting!"


And here is a collection of those goofy NFL songs.

My prediction:  Baltimore defense slows down the 49'er running game and makes Kaepernick beat them deep.  He doesn't do it and the Ravens win 24-20.  Also, Ray Lewis plays hard and goes out a champ; Randy Moss afterwords exclaims that he is the greatest football player to never win a Super Bowl.  Sorry Kat!  :(

It's a Long Way Down the Holiday Road

I gotta tell you I'm a guy who likes routine and I like my things a certain way.  I like to work out at a certain time and watch Chris Mattews on the TV while I'm doing the eliptical.  I like to eat at a certain time and I like to watch my college football and basketball at a certain time each night (NASCAR or the Nats in summer).

 

All that is thrown out the window when you are on vacation.  Now when you are traveling to Aspen to ski or going to Boca to the beach you take those deviations in stride because you are doing something different that is fun.  But when you are just going to visit the family in their vanilla town well then all those little changes to routine are just a pain in the ass.

I happen to have great in-laws.  Shannon and I have joked that if we ever get a divorce we don't want to lose our in-laws.  That being said I like them, I don't want to live with them.  My wife's sister and her husband are DINKS (double income no kids).  DINKS live in a foreign world with no stress and no mess.  When we invade I know it's tough on them because their no fuss world is thrown into tatters by our "young-un's."  But it's tough on me because they are DINKS and lead a DINK lifestyle which means existing in their world becomes almost like an episode of Bear Grylls for Ryan.

Can someone find me a damn Cheeto!

I will outline the predicament in my bullet-pointed rant below.  Let's call it Ryan the Average Married Dad's Survivor-Man Experience in DINK-land:

*  My brother in law has a wide range of beverage choices at his home much like I do.  Except that while I have the family version of variety (milk, OJ, Fruit Punch, and maybe some Sprite and the occasional Rolling Rock) the brother in law has a wide assortment including Crown Royal, Johnny Walker (red), Stolis, Heineken, Blue Moon, and the local Pale Ale.  Oh and he has tap water as well.  This of course is fine because he has no kids which is really just a half step away from bachelorhood.  Really it is a bachelor without haveing to go through the exhaustive efforts of finding a woman to sleep with every night.  For Ryan this starts off fun.  I don't drink a lot but I do enjoy a good beer now and again.  But by day 2 my head is pounding from alcoholic consumption and dehydration and I just want the Libby's Cherry Punch my kids drink and I count on for re-hydration on a typical evening.


It's bad if you'd kill for fruit punch

*  Meals are interesting at the in-laws.  My wife's sister will get up and fix a hearty breakfast of 4 eggs, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, 2 slices of toast, and a squirt of OJ (I forgot they did go out and buy a 20 oz bottle of OJ from 7-11 for our visit).  Now let me clarify.  That menu is not per person that is TOTAL!  This may feed them fine.  They are DINKS, they still give a shit about how they look.  But we have hungry kids and kids go through breakfast food like a locust plague leaving Ryan with a bite of cold egg and the dry toast crust my kids turned away.  I try to dash away at some point late morning, faining a need to fill the car up with gas and steal off to 7-11 or Dunkin' Donuts for needed sustenance.

*  Next comes TV.  The DINKS have no kids which means no fighting over TV rights.  That means they have 1 (count it 1 TV).  That means we have to deal with kids complaining over missing Shake it Up Chicago or deal with actually watching the show.  Guess who wins.  Actually my girls are now kind of addicted to their IPads so this isn't as much of a problem as it used to be.  But then the problem is that my brother-in-law (who doesn't have kids) has actual REAL hobbies like playing golf 5 times a week.  When he doesn't play golf he watches golf.  In fact right now the European Tour is playing in Liechtenstein.  Oh wait, I barely give a shit when they are playing at the Master so I certainly don't care when they are playing at a small European Duchy!  Bottom line, no ACC basketball for Ryan!

*  Anyone who has kids knows that the average American child has to have sustenance (snacks) every hour or they pass out.  I implied that Shannon and I don't care how we look but actually we are pretty health conscious.  Our girls are very healthy and fit as well.  We keep our pantry and fridge stocked with a wide variety of fruit snacks, cheese, yogurt, etc.  The kids stay healthy and these are the type of things Ryan lives off of late at night whilst watching the Duke-UNC game on TV.  The DINKS, who both happen to be very Metrosexual apparently live off of beer, wine, and about 300 calories a day.  What that means is NO 'effin snacks.  So while Ryan is missing the ACC basketball game at night, is dehydrated from only consuming alcoholic beverages throughout the day (did I mention happy hour for the brother in law starts at noon), going on about 1 hour of quality sleep (will speak to that below), and is on an all Dunkin' Donut/convenience store nacho diet (from lack of normal meals), he also is devoid of his late night cheese and cracker snacking routine.

*  At the end of the day poor Ryan is very tired.  The bed in the DINKS extra bedroom is technically a double if you are a couple from Munchkinland in the land of Oz.  Otherwise no two standard adults would fit, certainly not Shannon (who is very fussy) and I.  So that means the little one sleeps with mommy.  The older one is now 12 so too old to sleep with daddy on the pull-out futon-like thing in the living room - so she gets that.  That leaves Ryan banished like Quasimodo to the air mattress in the brother in law's office in the back of the house.  The air mattress provides a wafer thin boarder of air between my body and the cold hard wood floor.  That means I awake on the hour to a sore shoulder and adjust to the other side.  Upon one of these awakenings I think to myself "my God, I'm drooling icicles!  No it's because it's 'effing freezing in here!  Apparently there are too many heat vents in the other bedrooms and if they keep the thermostat above freezing all the other rooms are at the boiling point.  Thusly, the DINKS keep the thermostat at Minneapolis level.  They stay warm and by morning there is a Ryan-cicle in the back room!  Bottom line - no good sleep for Ryan.

Anyway by the afternoon of day 2 all the girls had left to go shopping and it was just the brother in law and me at home.  Actually we were watching the Falcons-49'ers game but I was just too damn tired of sitting on my ass so I decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood.  Their neighborhood is very nice with a lot of families.  I enjoy being there in the summer because of the plethora of hot young mommies sprinkled throughout.  On this particular day there were a lot of mommies out walking but unfortunately poor Ryan was looking quite haggard and disheveled from the malnutrition and sleep deprivation.  Consequently, as I passed all those cute mommies I got those proverbial "please don't rape me/I've got a can of mace buddy don't make me use it," stares!  The final insult was when some guy (I guess assuming I was a transient liquored up bum) offered me the puke green couch he was dragging to his curb to dispose of.  I thanked him but told him someone in Greenville would probably like to have that on their porch instead.

Oh well, life's a bitch and then you die - but someone has to do it!  :)