Girls, All I Really Want is Girls

If I truly represent Gen X I had to eventually quote some Beastie Boys!

Do you remember way back when you got an allowance or maybe your granddad gave you a dollar just because.  Of course then you went straight to the store to get a candy bar.  And let’s just say in this analogy that the candy bar was $0.75 (remember, I’m pretty old now).  Now, what did you do with that other $0.25 (we’re factoring out taxes right now)?  Save it right?

Wrong!

Of course you walked around the store to find something that was exactly $0.25 even if it was some pack of cheapy gum; you were not going to walk out of that store with a single penny if your life friggin’ depended on it.  Yep that’s right, human (dog) nature!

So what does that have to do with me?  As we were venturing into winter everything was great right!  Well, of course, but that never stopped a guy from doing something he shouldn’t.

Well, my little problem was that figuratively I had another quarter in my Ashley Madison pocket (or rather about 40 credits).  I had been a very good boy for a few months, hiding my profile – not even thinking about it.  But on one Saturday when I was at work and had too much idle time that quarter woke up and started burning a hole in my pocket.

Well what’s a guy to do?  It won’t harm anything to take a quick peak – you don’t even need to unhide your profile on AM to do that.  I had been getting those e-mails from AM telling me about new ladies in the area but had simply been ignoring since things were so good with Sandra – who needed it.  So I faced that moral dilemma and as with the kid in the candy store I think you know what side wins!

So I took just a quick peak at the new ladies in the area.  Some very interesting ladies just happened have signed up recently including LonelyNDC, Needmorenow, Channel, SexyNtheCity, Wouldliketochat….  Well Wouldliketochat wasn’t really – what kind of name is that, who want’s to do just that?  Not me of course!

And then I saw her.  Her photo just jumped out at me.  Long vibrant wavy Auburn hair down to the middle of her back with lovely shoulders exposed from a sleeveless sundress.  Yes, SexyLady was worth reading about and she was online at that very moment!  So I printed off her profile so I could draft a witty note highlighting all of her interests and meshing them with mine.

Among other things she was looking for tall, dark, and handsome; witty; a bad boy; a boy next door (I love it when a lady does that), etc.

So a lot of good info and a lot of my old stuff I can draw from.  So among other things I say.

Dear Ms Beautiful Auburn Hair,

“I’m 6’ and 1/64 Choctaw Indian so I think I qualify for tall, dark, and handsome or at least I am for most of the summer.  Bad boy and boy next door, do you have a split personality?  Well good because I am a bad boy next door!  As for intelligence I do have an MBa and a Minor in English from ******** **** which of course makes me brilliant!  Unless you are a fan of *** then, well… I do know how to read.  Oh – and I’m a sucker for long beautiful Auburn hair!”

And of course I did all the bullet pointed Riff Dog type stuff.

Oh, yes I guess I did send some notes out to Chanel, Needmorenow, and Lonely as well, but I’ll have to get to those later.  J

So about 30 minutes later I get a message back from Sexy Lady.

“like your note, you made me laugh but I deleted it by mistake can you write again?”

So of course I said, screw this and left for the day.  NOT!

I wrote back…

“OMG, I put my soul into that note and you know you can’t just cut and paste in this cruddy AM editor!  But hey, what’s $4 among friends, so here you go.  It’s good I took typing in middle school although I think I just told you how old I am J

A bit daring but I think witty.

She shot back.  “Thanks I would rather have you save your money to buy me a dirty martini.  Btw, I like your school but I’m not into American football.  I’m more of a rugby fan.”

Hmmm….now who around here says American football and likes rugby?  Oh boy, I think I have a Brit on the line here!  Thank you, thank you AM!  And I like the Dirty Martini idea!

So I write back.  “Yes us old guys know how to type and that is why we’re so good with our hands!  Those young guys are all thumbs with the texting J  Don’t like American football, am I sensing someone from a far away island nation?”

She writes back and says “I am not from here but not from England either, think way south.”

Oh Crikey, I think she’s an Aussie!  TABA NABA!  So I ask her if she is from a land down under and ask if we can segue over to e-mail.

The answer is yes and yes among other things and she gives me her e-mail and signs off,

xoxo, Keeley.

“I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile”

“I like girls!”

Author’s Note:  I have a real thing for English accents.  In fact there are a few lady bloggers who whenever I read them for some reason I hear them with an English accent – I guess it’s just a weird fetish!  Of course, I still love a good Southern Belle’s accent as well and I probably could even go for Fran Dresher’s Jersey accent if she was saying “hahdah Ryan hahdah, hahdah!”  Well, I guess I like any type of accent on a hot lady!

So Happy that You're here with Me

Or Back Up to Speed

First, to Ms. Tempting Sweets - you owe me a damn post!  The answers to my lyrics were going to be an entire post for me and now you've flushed that down the toilet with your perfect response.  So now I'm scrambling to come up with something on the fly.  Thanks!  But wow, you do know your music!

Oh also, are we done now with natural disasters around here.  I could go a whole 'nother 100 years without an earthquake and hurricane in the same week or as I heard it Hurriquakapocalipse.  No natural disasters, that's why I live here!  If I wanted disaster I would live in SF or NO or Detroit for Christ sakes!

Sorry for that rant, so to continue.

I have been drifting for about 2 months out of laziness but have enjoyed recapping my top 10 posts with a little additional information.  I hope you have re-enjoyed those posts!  Give me about one more week (I do actually work sometimes) and then I'll move forward in my bloglifestory.  But first, since I am ever the meticulous, I'll recap where I am in my blog world.  And from this point forward I will try to accelerate and catch up to my current world.  Writing in the past allows you to contemplate but makes it difficult to write about interesting things that sometimes occur in the present.

So for this somewhat blase post I have chosen some more mushy Babies/John Waite lyrics.  But I am happy you're hear with me, it has been such a blast seeing that people read my posts and the comments are like a happy potion to me!  Sorry, I get silly that way sometimes.  :)

When last I wrote about Sandra in my blog-life I was creeping toward the holidays in Winter, 2010 enjoying the last few days of the first decade of the new millineum.

You may remember that I am a 40-something guy living in the Greater DC area and married to a wonderfully hot wife, Shannon, who had recently chosen to seek affection outside of the marriage (she first, then I).  And that wonderfully hot wife also tends to have a HOT temper and tends to see it's her mission in life to make sure I know the world is not centered around me (see my Shannon stories for further details).

So about 3 years ago I developed a friendship with another woman in town, Renee.  I became very close with her but never acted on my emotions.

Then a little over a year ago I stumbled upon a little website called Ashley Madison.  I had some wonderful first steps out into that new world, though all failed.  Then I found a wonderful blog called Ashley and Me and found my pathway to success.  Over the next 6 months I would meet 2 women through Ashley Madison first Alecia and then Sandra.

My relationship with Alecia was very short lived.  Sandra however was still with me and things were going great into the holidays.

So everything in life was good.  A great home, wonderful kids, a good job with benefits, my health, a steady marriage with an extra-curricular affair on the side.  All a guy would ever want.  Surely this is the good life and hopefully nothing would change.