Friday, December 11, 2015

December 3rd, A Day that Will Live in Infamy


"The things we believe about ourselves are often a lot more illuminating than the truth..."

I don't know what that means but it sounded good.  I think I saw that in an analysis of one of the Republican debates as the author spoke about THE Donald.  Actually I think it can be used by a lot of us.

You know it seems like I forgot something recently??

Oh yeah two weeks ago it was my 5th Blogoversary.  Or was it one week ago it was a few days after I realized I wanted to continue blogging two more years three years ago?  Or was it a week ago I realized it's been a year since I realized I really shouldn't be doing this any more than one more year.

Oh well regardless I forgot about my blogoversary.  Actually that's a lie I've just been too dang busy and I'm finally writing what I thought I was going to write two weeks ago.  Actually I made notes about this post a month ago while attending a workshop on training and felt really good about getting this out on time but then stuff happened and I'm just now elaborating on the notes I took a month ago about the things I was supposed to say two weeks ago.  I think I get that.

So let's see I've been writing this blog about things a regular guy does when he goes many years without sex and lives with a woman who is a microcosm of Scarlet O'Hara, Martha Stewart, Miranda Priestly, and Leona Helmsley and then discovers a thing called "married dating."

OK, so I did that and then about a month later I found out about a guy named Riff Dog.  I learned a lot from Riff Dog, not the least of which was how to get a woman to actually write back to you on Ashley Madison.  But more than anything, I learned what this thing called "married dating" should really be about.  And more importantly what TALKING ABOUT IT ON A BLOG should be all about.

Oh wait I was talking about a workshop I attended recently, you might rather hear about that than to hear about sex and blogs and how to enjoy them both.

I attended a workshop about a month ago about "Gaming in the Classroom."  It was a train the trainer type thing and it looked fun.  It was, and the instructor was like super nerdy hot.  Nerdy hot is like the best hot because with the glasses and the articulate wordiness, the lady seems cut off but you just know that, in the bedroom, if you could get that dress off she would be a total wildcat!  Unfortunately I was not able to confirm that.  She did look a bit like Selma Blair with glasses, a bit naive looking yet probably an animal in bed.

Anyway, one takeaway from the class was this:  "We are seeing a mass exodus to online 'life.'"  Reality is broken, virtual is attractive.  We struggle to make the real world as attractive as gaming...  Gamers are motivated, we just need the portal back to the real world."

What we are seeing is the "Gamification" of life.  It is happening all around us.  And what is "gamification" you say?  Gamification is the application of typical elements of game playing to other areas of activity to induce behavior (such as the encouragement of product or specific behavioral engagement).

Why?  Because games are fun and "FUN CAN CHANGE BEHAVIOR!"

What makes this important is that this generation ain't stupid; they want things to be fun.  So if you want these Gen-Z'ers, Gen NeXT'ers, Digital Natives, etc to learn/engage in anything you are doing you better learn about gaming.  I know you can't teach an old dog new tricks; leave the gaming to the youngsters and just let us Gen X'ers have our coffee and Nirvana.  But maybe this gamification thing has some applications to us mid-life dudes or ladies life!?

I know, it's really a pity to talk about a workshop so near to the holidays so let me try to get back to my Blogoversary and what all this Ashley Madison stuff means.

You know what I have so often written in AM notes to various ladies is "let's explore an alternative third place that is just for us where we can be enchanted, bewitched, and beguiled together...."

I know, kind of syrupy, it works about 5% of the time.  I'm sure saying "what's up, let's get it on" would probably yield about a 5% ROI as well but hey that type of colloquial language doesn't make for good thoughty-type blogging does it.

But what I learned from Riff and what a realized through all of this AM stuff is that we are all here for some reason.  We are here for hope or maybe to run to something or from something.  More than anything we are trying to change or behaviors because our past behavior has just not been too fun and perhaps changing behavior will lead us to fun.  And as you know "FUN CAN CHANGE BEHAVIOR."  Wait did I just say that?

I did forget to add something from the workshop so let me just slip it in here.  There are two types of "Gamification," structural and content.  Structural Gamification is the application of game-elements to propel a learner through content with no alteration or changes to the content itself.  The primary focus behind this type of gamification is to motivate the learner to go through the content and to engage them in the process of learning through rewards.  This is like Pac-Mac, same screen over and over; just a little more difficult each level.  Or maybe like marriage first you get her flowers and you get laid, then maybe it's dinner and get laid, then it's a trip to Cabo to get laid, and then it's who the hell knows what it takes you just don't get laid!

Content Gamification is the application of game elements and game thinking to alter content to make it more game-like.  The game learns and evolves as it becomes new each time you play it.  Adding elements, such as a story, makes the content more game-like but doesn't turn the content into a game. In this type of game we learn to learn and adapt.  This is when you enter alternate reality with multiple outcomes based on your decisions.  Hmmmm.

OK, enough with the academic stuff.

Wait all this seems like its similar to me as I'm talking.  Could this AM thing be like a game?  If it was a game, is that bad?  If it was a game could it change behavior?  Is it fun because it changes behavior and as such is that why it's fun?  Could being successful on AM and the resulting change in behavior not only be fun but a life changing, evolutionary process or journey?  And then would the blogging about it be part of that journey?

You know what makes this gaming stuff so fun is that fact that YOU are the hero.  Long and challenging games create the best learning.  And what is great about games is that you fail a lot and that failure is part of the learning as you alter behaviors to successfully navigate through the game.  It is also immediate feedback about performance and you adjust your strategies based on your performance and desired results.  In doing so you don't stigmatize failure you actually celebrate failure in the pursuit of success or in this case winning the game and more importantly learning the lesson.

I've found that most women on AM are not looking for reality or even the truth, as it lives in our everyday life.  What they are looking for is an escape to an alternative third place.  They are looking to gamify their life, to find a portal to the truth of who they would like to be in their minds; at least for an occasional afternoon.  Be that hero, be that portal and you will succeed.  More importantly you will succeed for yourself.  And even more importantly the hero that you become in the game may shape the person you are in real life.

OMG, I meant to write a blogoversary post and I've been blathering about nothing for far too long!

What the heck does all this mean!!!



"The things we believe about ourselves are often a lot more illuminating than the truth..."

Oh yeah, that's where I started.  I guess all this means is we live a truth every day in the real world.  But there is a truth in our minds that is part of who we believe we are or better yet who we believe we can become.  All this gaming and alternate reality is a dangerous thing, you can get lost in that alternative world of your mind.  But if you can find a way to make that alternative world, or truth, in your mind (what you believe about yourself) transport to the real world then it can be pretty transformative.

I guess that's enough for this year.

Want an illustration of gaming in society - take a look at the "bottle bank."


Unfortunately this is only structural gaming.... I wish I could do a game video about Ashley Madison though, I bet that would be truly good content (storybook) gaming!





Monday, November 30, 2015

I am a Little Divided

"do I stay or run away and leave it all behind..."

I am not a real celebrity whore.  I've met celebrities before, they are regular people; often shorter than I am and unspectacular but for what they have done.  That being said Dave Grohl is one guy I would truly be "geeked" to meet and probably would be speechless if I could.

How many people can say they have had as much effect on music over such an extended period of time.  I would say his collective success with both Nirvana and the Foo Fighters put him in the Paul McCartney level of stardom.  It is rare that one individual finds so much success with multiple groups and as an singular artist over an extended career.  When you consider his prowess on the guitar, the drums, as a vocalist, a writer, and a wicked funny actor in all of his videos you realize how rare it is the air he occupies among rock icons.  He has accomplished this with much aloofness and for that I admire him.

Even though we think of Grohl as a Seattle grunge dude from his work as the front man for the Foo Fighters and the drummer for Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, he actually grew up right here in good old NOVA (that's Northern Virginia to anyone not from the area).  Specifically, he attended Annandale High just inside the Beltway.  In the late 80's while still a teen, Grohl began playing and touring with the DC Punk band, Scream.  While with Scream he met and befriended Buzz Osborne with the Melvin's.  Osborne would later introduce Grohl to Kurt Cobain and Krist Novoselic with Nirvana. Grohl would then join Cobain and Novoselic for that famous Nevermind album recorded in spring, 1991.

I did see the Foo Fighters in concert once with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Unfortunately I did not get to meet Dave Grohl but pound for pound it was the best concert I have ever seen!

Anyway, I got my satellite radio back the other day and heard this song and thought about today's post or really the intro as I always like something to segue from you know!  :)

Oh right, good news; I got my satellite radio back!  You might have read how I lost it here.  But the Beaumont's got a new car last week.  Shannon will be driving the new car,of course, leaving Ryan with the older newer car, which in fact has my beloved XM radio.  The new car doesn't have satellite radio (yet) but it does have the requisite USB port and Shannon has agree just to play XM radio and all her downloaded tunes through her phone whilst in her new car - she is so good to me!

So with that in mind perhaps I should give you a little update on life

Shannon - Nothing really new here, our relationship can still be defined as somewhere between platonically ambivalent to asexually irritating.  Over the holidays she always seems a little friendlier and it seems as if we are on the verge of a breakthrough but then I'm reminded that she tends to like to wear me as her faux husband accessory on special occasions and at certain times of the year.  And once the special occasion is over gladly puts me back in the drawer for next year.

Work has been stressful for her over the past year.  Her new job is a challenge.  It seems this time with more money she has gained a degree of personal financial responsibility.  Although she still does find a way to spend it all.  At least now it's been for new vehicles and house upgrades rather than expensive vacations.


She is, of course, as gorgeous as ever.  She looks better in her 40's than she did in her 20's.  That's not *ullshit either because I'm not writing this just to have sex with her, she ain't reading this you know!


Gone with the Wind is always on over Thanksgiving and the family watched as we always do.  She really is like Scarlett.  As one of my favorite songs goes "like Scarlet O'Hara loved no one but wanted them all...."


Shannon will never divorce me because she knows she has it good, it just galls her to admit it.  Just like Scarlett is too proud to need Rhett, Shannon will always hold onto her ambivalence like a protective shield.


Oh well, I guess I'm just happily gullible like Rhett.  As Rhette says -


Why? Maybe it's because I've always had a weakness for lost causes, once they're really lost. Or maybe, maybe I'm ashamed of myself. Who knows? 


Like Scarlett Shannon might reply - "marriage, fun? Fiddle-dee-dee. Fun for men you mean." 


One thing I have been thinking about for probably over a year is writing a post in Sandee's voice.  As you may know I've written many posts from Shannon's perspective.  It has been surprisingly easy and what I think would be fairly accurate if I do say so myself.  The odd thing is, is that as easy as it has been to write in Shannon's voice, every time I try to conceive of a post in Sandee's voice I just can't. I even have the song for the lyric title picked out (I May Hate Myself in the Morning by Lee Ann Womack), but Sandee's words never seem to course through me and through my fingers and onto the keyboard.  I'm not sure why.  Sure I've know Shannon for 20 years and Sandee for just over three. But I do know Sandee and we are so much more similar than Shannon and I are, at least on the outside.  The fact that Shannon's voice comes so easily to me and Sandee's does not worries me. Perhaps I am not so dissimilar to the cranky, curmudgeonly, future Leona Helmsley/Martha Stewart/Miranda Priestly I live with.  Or maybe that is me too?



Sandee - I still speak with Sandee often, either texting or e-mailing a few times a week.  I've not seen her in just over a month.  Her husband has actually been traveling a lot recently.  It would be convenient to be together but I know she needs and wants more.  She really needs to be rid of her husband.  She doesn't need someone making it easier to stay with him and that is just what I've become.  I would love to make a jump, I think we could be great together.  Then again, I was never good at taking the obvious path.

I'm going to really try to write that post in Sandee's voice.  And I'm sure there will be more Sandee posts in the future.  We still have to see Mockingjay part II to finish out the series together.


Work - Wow, work has been crazy and the biggest reason why I can't really blog anymore.  The good thing is that I'm never bored.  In fact, I don't really find myself missing blogging and the stuff I have to do for work is really more fascinating and that's a good thing.  I don't see that changing soon which is why I will continue to decelerate on the blog until my eventual and inevitable denouement.  But who wants to read a blog about work, I don't think a blog about the Fascinating Hospitality Adventures of a Work-a-holic Gone Bad is going to sell anytime soon!


Ashley Madison - Which brings us to Ashley, that gal that got us here in the first place. The last I wrote about her was a pretty bad time.  A smart guy would have logged on one more time and then deleted his profile.  In fact I did log on one more time back in September with a real good intention of shutting the whole thing down.  I hesitated.


Often it's when you hesitate that things happen. 


You see to get interest in AM you have to stay active.  When you are active you get hits when ladies are looking because you are in that all important (logged on within last 7 days) pool.


It just so happens that the day I logged on to Ashley Madison for what I expected to be the second to last time, I got a wink from a certain local lady.  I logged on and took a look at her.  She seemed pretty cool.  I was interested.  OMG, she sent a picture pass key?  No lady ever does that.  Hey, she's pretty cute.  You know what, I have just 5 more credits.  Maybe I should fire up one last message with those last credits just for old times sake.


So I wrote to her.


Next day I log on and sure enough she has responded!


I click to read the message and then...


DAMN!  Even though you can always respond to a lady who has responded to you free of charge (so to speak if you don't click "priority message"), apparently once you have run out of credits you can't then respond.  Crap, what a rip-off!


So of course in my disdain for this overly capitalistic procedure I deleted my account!


If you believe that, you believe Donald Trump is going to be able to negotiate trade agreements with Mexico!


So, once more I anted up to old Ashley Madison to see what Sunny had written to me.

And that seems like an excellent place to stop for today.


"it's times like these you learn to live again
it's times like these you give and give again...."



Oh hey, one more thing.  Be careful with that crazy kookie Ashley Madison gang.  

I got this just today:

At Ashley Madison, your discretion is our #1 priority. If you ever run into any discretionary problems please contact our customer support department at 1-866-742-2218 and we will work with you to find a solution. Our personal representatives have years of experience helping our customers keep their Ashley Madison use entirely private.

Your payment in the amount of $19.99 for the Member Initiated Contact has been confirmed and your account has been updated. If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service by replying to this email or by sending an email to customerservice@ashleymadison.com.

This feature will give you access to read and respond to unsolicited member initiated communication for 30 days. To change or cancel your subscription go to your Credit History. See our Terms for full details.

Seems like for the very affordable price of $19.99/year I can conveniently respond (free of any per unit charge) to all the online hosts, hookers, and Russian brides I want!  What a bargain!  Shame on me for going back in and deleting but you know I'd never know a good deal if it hit me in the face. But I guess you can't blame a Married Dating site for trying, God bless them!  :)