Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Long and Winding Road - “That leads me to your door”

Before I go any further I just want to make one comment in the present – DAMN it’s COLD outside!  OK, so while my body is currently in Mexico in blog world I will give a hopefully not too long treatise on how I found myself open to the concept of using a site like Ashley Madison.  First, I will get right to the point.  My wife, in her travels, had an affair with her boss that lasted for about 4 years.  I found out in the classic way – through text messages.  Note to reader, do all this on your own time and in private not on the home computer or I phone.  My wife travels weekly for her job and is generally gone 1 to 3 days per week.  As a result our lives just grew apart.  The upside is that as a single dad (for a few days a week) I became a much better and interesting person.  Unfortunately it was a little too late to make a difference in the marriage.

As an aside her affair ended about a year ago when her boss met another younger female employee.  Now I am no wife swapper but really how dare he cheat on my wife!  I did see a picture of this new interest and while she is pretty hot she can’t possibly be as interesting or charming as Shannon (we’ll use that name for my wife).  But, at any rate, the damage had been done.  Really, the damage was done long ago.  I was very career driven at first and was often absent early in the marriage.  Then we had kids.  I started to hold back on my career drive but amazingly her career really took off.  Soon she far surpassed me and part of her initial attraction to me wore off, as I hear “Don’t You Want Me Baby” by the Human League in the background.  She likes the finer things in life and traveling to New York, Miami, LA, etc. certainly made life with me very normal.  To be fair she does her share of traveling to Kansas and South Dakota as well so it is not always glamorous and traveling can be very draining over time no matter the destination.  So she mentally moved on.  And we act out the part of the good family for the five days she is at home. 

I, back at home, was often the only dad at ballet class or being homeroom parent at school.  Of course what that means is that I am often around a lot of mom’s.  That is kind of like the sheepherder turning to Wile E Coyote and saying I have a business trip will you tend the flock while I’m gone.  Yes, in tribute to women there are a lot of great looking mom’s at ballet class and around school.  And often these women don’t have husbands like me that shuttle kids all around the county, cook well, clean, have a good job, and have all their hair and a BMI of 23.  So over this time I made a lot of casual female friends and even started to feel that I was getting some vibes.  There was a mom at ballet and a teacher at school both going through a divorce and there was even a marketing intern at work and a fitness instructor all of which seemed to think I was fairly neat!  But the shepherd should not play with the flock and remember we are in a small town so I never moved on anything.

Then 2 years ago my eldest daughter decided to participate in her ballet school’s performance of the Nutcracker.  Apparently they needed some dads to be in the “party scene” in the first act.  So the ballet teacher corners me next to my daughter and asks if I would like to join in.  Now picture this, I hear the pitch and then look at my daughter’s adoring eyes and say “no way, I don’t dance.”  But of course I don’t, I can’t say no with my daughter’s adoring eyes looking up at me.  Oh, and also the ballet teacher is indescribably gorgeous so really I would do anything she asked of me.  The good thing is that the teacher assures me that I am really just part of the background scenery.  Of course that is not entirely true as at the first rehearsal I learn that in fact we do have to dance. 

So let’s set the cast of the Nutcracker first Act Party Scene.  There are six dads who have been coerced into dancing and they are paired with five older girls from the school.  Except for dad six who is me who is paired with one of the mom’s (Renee) who is a friend of the teacher and has agreed to dance.  So Renee was to be my dance partner.

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