Tuesday, March 15, 2011

We Can’t Go On Together with Suspicious Minds

Or This is What You Get When You Mess with Us

Oh I do love a little Elvis every now and again! But I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go “old school” with Elvis or new school with Radiohead.  I hate to waste such good lyrics like Karma Police on this dopey post so I may use that song again in the future.

My writing mind has not been very active during the past week so my best effort for today is this.  I did write this in my mind about 2 weeks ago on a plane ride back home so while the thought is silly it is true.

So what do all of us here in the infidelity blog world fear most!  Yes, getting caught or even suspicion for that matter.  So it is with trepidation that I admit old Ryan has recently been the subject of some suspicion on Shannon’s part.

You say, “you fool – how could you leave Ashley Madison cookies on your computer!”  Oh my, I am dumb but I’m not stupid – like Riff I keep most of this mischief in my spare time at work – of course many at my work would say all my time is spare J

My demise was the dreaded Facebook and maybe my own mouth!  Yes I have been on Facebook a number of years and have accumulated a lot of friends from work, previous work, high school, and college.  Don’t you just love seeing those old girl friends that seemed so perfect back in the day but are now well past prime!  I say that as if I am some George Clooney type getting better over time J Oh, and that sweetheart couple from high school?  Divorced of course!

Anyway, I recently went on a trip with Shannon to I’ll say another town.  She asked me what I was going to do while I was there?  Meaning, what was I going to do by myself as Shannon was to be otherwise occupied (this was work for her).  I mentioned that a guy I used to work with lived in this town and that I would like to see him, he was a really good person and I enjoyed working with him.  We started to talk about (I’ll say Blake) and I mentioned that Blake was gay.  It also came up that I knew he worked in this town because he was a Facebook friend.

Well there were no overt prosecutorial questions that resulted from this conversation but I could tell by the end of the conversation that Shannon’s mind was spinning.  Of course in Shannon’s mind it has been quite a while since Ryan has gotten any sexual stimulation.  She also probably knows that I still have a heart-beat (hence in need of sex if you are male and have a heart beat).  Of course knowing Shannon, she would assume I am too obtuse to carry out a successful affair so I soon see her line of progressive logic! Yep, she is thinking – “has Ryan stepped to the other side of the batter’s box, has he changed teams?” J

And she may be thinking this because in her mind as Jeff Foxworthy says:

"There are some similarities between gay men and married men, for example...if you're a guy and you sleep in a bed with a dust ruffle and more than eight pillows you're either gay or your married (check). If you've ever gone antique shopping in the middle of a big football game (check, except ballet rehearsal)...you're either gay or you're married...if you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman...you're either gay or you're married (check, Shannon would assume)"

Oh the exquisite irony!  I know I am a horse’s ass J

OK, enough silliness I’ll get back to my Sandra story a little later this week!

And Blake, I couldn’t get in touch with him.  So I had some good alone time running along the beach and thinking up more twisted blog entries J

And on a religious note I’ve decided to do what I did last year for lent.  I gave up celibacy!  Let’s hope it works again this year J (note, I’m not really a Catholic just pretend sometimes)

Or maybe I should just go back to watching Will & Grace at the gym???

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