Monday, June 20, 2011

88 Lines About 44 Women (bloggers)

The other day Richard Blade from XM's First Wave played the song below by the Nails.  Please take a quick listen to get the rhythm.  Rarely in my life do moments of inspiration occur for me, let's face it - I'm not that deep!  But by the end of the ride I decided that I owed the world and more importantly the women of the bloggosphere an Ode!  So soon I started to mentally write my version of 88 Lines about 36 Women (& 24 Bloggers) - my ode to some of the ladies who inspire me!

88 Lines About 36 Women (& 24 Bloggers)
by Ryan B

Belle Amie was the first to Follow
Now I'm sure she doth think me Hollow
Kimberly was my first girl blog desire
If I could have her I know I would retire
Jane you are so non-PC
You must think me a complete weenie
Misty one day I'll see you at the track
If I do I probably won't come back

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Southern Red I love your town
I'm just so glad you didn't drown
Agnes why are you so fraught
Come stay with me I'll make sure we don't get caught
Scarlett your boy names sound so English
Ryan's Irish how'd you like that dish 
Wave Rider that profile pic is fun, it fills me with glee
I drive right past it don't you see

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Rocker Girl that girl is you
What's on your mind tell me true
Ella I like when you write of the Shire
I'd be glad to jump on, I'm for hire
J you seem to like your vodka
Wow, nothing rhymes just let me be your Screwdriva'
Me you say you want some suga'
Change that to salt and chase me down with tequila

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Lady Inconspicuous I love that you like bluegrass
But my o' my you have one fine as. (pair of eyes) :)
Elle you are so young and fine
If I were not so old I'd make you mine
Coquette if Riff is not enough for you
Fly to DC, we know how to screw
And Riff some say you are a gal
So that is why I include you now

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Pocket Rocketz your FFF's are fun
But don't let that mascara run
Suburban Mom I'm sure you're hot
But I'm a foodie too, I enjoy reading what's in your pot
Dusty Bunny your blog is a bit creepy
Counting down to Halloween I see, I still read it with glee
Sadie, wow you wrote the book
Now what can I do to get a look

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

OK so since I don't read enough
Let's search my blog to get more stuff
Miranda you seemed so cute and sassy
A secret pic from your wedding now that was classy
Beach Bunny you're always online
I write and write to no reply
Suzanne you said I was an ass
I'm sure you're not to be the last

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Ciao Bella you really like your shoes
I wish I could've taken off those Jimmy Choos
E Red you want a Sugar Daddy
I'm not real liquid but I know you'd like this laddy
Brian are you looking for the walrus?
That was John but what about us
Renee sometimes I still see you at the gym
No rhyme hear 'cause in my mind I just say damn your fine

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Alecia you never did say no
You just didn't tell me where to go
Sandra thanks for all you do
Yeah that's an easy rhyme 'cause I surely like doing it with you
Leah you love to chat and chat
I wonder if you'd actually come back
Keeley ooh I loved that accent it was a wonder
You made me enjoy it all down under

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Spring Flower I wrote about your dreams
Now I want to make you scream
GLNO for some reason your travels seem like my wife
but its no cause I think for strife
Cracklin' Rosie your a store bought woman
but you make me sing like a guitar hummin'
Sorry Rosie I didn't mean to steal
'Cause your comments always keep it real

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

 Shannon dear I list you here
But you truly make me need to drink a beer
Because I take all your shit
Surely you'd let me lick your clit
And since I just cut the grass
Why oh why can't I have some (gl)ass
Ah but dear you are still so fine
I wish I still enjoyed you slowly like sweet red wine

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Kat you know you have such class
You tell us how to *uck your ass
And I know your always on the prowl
One day I would like to make you howl
Holly I save you for last
'cause reading you I always have a blast
But Holly dear I think I like you best
One day you might just be my quest

Hmmmm...Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmmm

Hey, I'm on Facebook now!!/profile.php?id=100002464477196
You ever notice how this blog always seems to post things right after Riff posts something???  Don't you just hate a shameless leech!  :)  Hey, and I just moved up to reading on a 5th grade level so if I missed you be patient, I'm trying to catch up - I'm sure I can come up with more stupid lyrics somewhere down the road!


J said...

I feel so honored to be included in your little ditty! Very fun! You are pretty damn talented when inspiration strikes.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Thanks for the shout out! What a surprise! I'm still here, lurking and commenting on blogs every now and then!

Anonymous said...

LOL! This is brilliant! ;-)

Adam said...

Very clever - I don't know that I could figure out that many rhymes. Not sure how I feel about that last verse though :)

Agnes said...

awwww I made your list...that made my day!

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

The original version is one of my running songs. :)

But, but, you've never SEEN my eyes!

Anonymous said...

Ryan, you flatter me to no end! Great post!

Myli said...

This is so cool! What a great idea!

Ryan Beaumont said...

@ J - your vodka story gave me great fodder :)

@ Redhead - good to hear from you!

@ Tempting - thanks

@ Adam - if you're worried about taste you should be worried about all 88 lines

@ Agnes - that's what we're here for!

@ Inconspicuous - eyes could be a great private HNT just for me!

@ Holly - I hope your not one of those "flattery will get you nowhere type of gals!"

@ Asian Girl - thanks, I'll work you in next time!

Elle said...

Hahahaa.... this is amazing! I once dated a white gangsta who wrote a rap about me.... This is so much more romantic! Thanks Ryan!

Wave Rider said...

Count me among the flattered and I am one of those women that swoons to flattery!

Jane said...

Top 10...are you trying to flatter me? Damn me if it ain't workin'. Just sayin' sweets...muah! LOL!