Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Love is the Drug and I Need to Score

I understand that we live in a 3 dimensional world.  It is indeed unfortunate that women are such complex creatures and us guys are so simple at times.

You see for me it is pretty simple logic to make certain assumptions when you say "we need to get a room."

For me the typical guy "we need to get a room" = we are going to have sex.

And then if you say "I'm not sure if I'm ready for a home run" I make other assumptions.

"I am not ready for a home run" = We are NOT going to have sex

My problem was how do you derive the following:

"We need to get a room" = "I am not sure if I'm ready for a home run" = No sex for Ryan

That just doesn't compute for me.  Then again nobody ever accused me of being an Einstein!  And of course no guy will ever completely understand the female mind!

But here is the other thing.  Us humans all have a neocortex and they all act differently.  Which is so unfortunate because wouldn't the world be so good if everyone just thought like me!  :)

But the fact is that Sandee is very much a Christian (I had found out).  I know it doesn't compute either signing up on Ashley Madison and consorting with a degenerate like me.  But you know you can read a lot of blogs out there and find a lot of deeply faithful Christians in just the same situation Sandee found herself in.  I think for her she was struggling over the logic of reconciling that famous vow "'til death do you part" with years of a bad marriage.  And now she was in a room with a guy that seemed to be very attentive to her and attracted to her and wanted to please her.  When you look at it that way being conflicted computes quite easily.  And perhaps some understanding was in order.

OK, but try to tell that to my dick who is not nearly as diplomatic as my neocortex!   :)

So I sat up next to her and said "that's fine we can just hang out for awhile here; how long can you stay away from the real world today...."

"Aww Ryan, you are so sweet," I'm hearing you say.  Well, Ryan is a nice guy but the only way I was going to get from "I am not sure if I'm ready for a home run" back to "we need to get a room" is with patience.  That I had, at this point the $89 for the room was a sunk cost may as well make the best of it!

So I leaned back and Sandee laid down next to me.  We gazed at each other for a few minutes and had small talk.  But soon we were kissing passionately.  She rolled on top of me and continued kissing me.

After several minutes she sat up still straddling me.  She looked down at me.  My impulse was to say something but I remained quiet.  I could tell she was analyzing me; it felt good to be looked over like a cheetah looks over an antelope!  She started moving her fingers slowly and methodically over my chest.

Eventually and I think inevitably her fingers found the top button of my shirt.  With a flick that button was loosened by her fingers.  Soon she unbuttoned another and then slowly another.  After a few minutes of this playful interchange of unbuttoning, massaging, unbuttoning my shirt was open.  I leaned up and took it off and grabbed her around the waist and kissed her.

We fell back now with me on top.  Although still clothed we were in "missionary position."  I began grinding into her in simulated sexual thrusts.  I could tell from her sighs that she was slowly getting turned on.

I decided I would push to the edge but not push her beyond the point of "no."  I really wanted to see how far she would choose to go.  I wanted her to be so hot she had to have me.

After several minutes of kissing (and grinding) we rolled back over.  Now she was grinding over me as I lay on my back.  She unloosened my belt and ran her fingers under my tee shirt.   I assisted by slipping it off.  Again she ran her long nails slowly over my chest and analyzed.  I think it had been a long time for her and she was wondering how I would feel and measuring her desire against her inhibitions.

She got up abruptly and said she needed to go to the bathroom.  Upon her return she walked over to the window and shut the blinds.  Again, silly me started to say "but we are on the 2nd floor do we need that."  But I was pretty sure silence was the best policy now, that was clearly a hint that she was on the edge and we were getting close to the "we need to get a room" train of thought.

Again we were kissing.  Our pants were both now down to our knees, me with no shirt.  I moved my hand inside of her panties and she didn't stop me.

And then she said it "I can't afford to get pregnant, did you bring anything?"

Upon saying yes Sandee then got up and walked over to the one lamp that was lit and turned it off.  Again, I was not sure of the logic but I knew silence was best here.  It was her way of getting comfortable and perhaps more importantly comfortable with what she was choosing to do against her inhibitions.

Sandee laid back on the bed.  I kissed her but then I got up and walked over to my jacket and pulled out that condom that I had remembered to bring this day.

My one attempt at a joke was as I put it on.  I said "it's been about 20 years since I've used on of these things."

And that had in fact been the truth.  In spite of all logic and in complete naivety my previous AM partners had not asked for me to use one; in fact all saying that they had procedures so they would not get pregnant.  In my early AM days I was simply too horny to worry about anything else, assuming that a married wife was safe.  I actually felt glad now that she had asked me to wear protection knowing all the risks.

I crawled onto the bed and looked down at her.  She was so gorgeous!

Ooops!  Long post - don't want to bore you, maybe we should continue this later.  Go back to work!   :)


Elle said...

If she bails at this point I'm not reading your blog anymore. (I'm going to throw in a "kidding" because I could totally see that being an option)

Gertie said...

Concur with Elle if you can't close the deal with SandEe I am going to throw the hammer!

Like the tactics of patience and silence to advance the cause though. However shame on you for not being 100% safe with people you meet online, that's just asking for trouble (smh) Old Married guys, always playing with the odds.

Kat said...

It's comforting to know that at least one man knows when he should keep his mouth shut. Bravo! She sure caved on her convictions quickly, though, didn't she?

And yes, I'm with Elle and Gertie. If she jumps ship at this point, action must be taken.

Anonymous said...

I love a man who knows how and when to be patient and silent. ;-) I have positive hope for this story.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I love the Beatles and Nine Inch mash up. Very cool!

david said...

This is good stuff! It makes me think of Riff Dog. Your story telling is getting better and better.

Ryan Beaumont said...

Ladies, ladies again be patient. I'm a guy, I may enjoy showing a little dirty laundry but I'm not going to flaunt complete failure am I! :)

@ Sweets: Check out those Mash Ups on DC 101 every Saturday night. I think they are on the web page if you can't get them on radio or Pandora, etc.

@ Thanks Dave, being compared to Riff is always an honor!

Same sassy girl said...

Wow... this post is so sexy! Had to read it over quite a few times. :)