Monday, May 14, 2012

Said Woman Take it Slow, and It'll Work Itself Out Fine

Or Holidays and Affairs Don't Mix II

I wrote about this once here and it's true holidays are hard on affairs.  Holidays mean travel, guests in the house, and interruption of routines.  In short they mean cramped quarters and more and different sets of watchful eyes.  It makes it impossible to get away for a few hours and a pretty big challenge just to shoot off and e-mail or text.  The holidays put a crimp in my relationship with Sandra last year and that along with winter kind of took the wind out of our sails and we never really rebounded.  At the time it didn't bother me too much.  I enjoyed my time with Sandra but I didn't see the relationship ever being more than me being her "boy toy."

But as this year's Christmas/holiday season (circle one depending on whether you watch Fox or MSNBC) was upon me, I found myself worried about getting disconnected from Sandee.  And that feeling was almost as troubling as the actual feeling of missing her.  To date everything had been pretty casual with the women I had met on AM, no strings.  I was feeling strings now, not tied to me by Sandee but tied by myself mentally.

It's funny that all the years of disconnect with Shannon had produced someone who, while courteous and I believe kind, had sort of forgotten how to feel.  I was reminded of that last Johnny Cash song he recorded "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel."

I hoped I was not inadvertently setting myself up to hurt simply to learn that I could feel again.  I mean, I wanted to feel again but I hoped I didn't have to hurt myself in order to do so.

Regardless, Sandee was going her way to visit family for about a week and a half.  I would stay at home for Christmas but then leave for a ski vacation out of state.  The closeness of quarters, not to mention lack of cell phone service at 5,000 feet made communication impossible so no phone calls or texts over this time.

So I drifted through the holidays.  Which of course is not too hard.  I love the time with my girls and I love being outdoors and I love skiing.  Work is slow during this time so it's a rare time where I can empty the inbox of my mind so to speak and just be with the family completely mentally and physically.

But as much fun as I was having I felt more and more anxious as January 3rd approached and I would be back at work.  And I was not anxious dreading going back, I was anxious to get back to my new routine and call Sandee and see her as soon as possible.

The upside to this time of year is that it's slow at work which means more time to waste at blogging.  During this time I was fairly prolific in writing posts to get in the queue so to speak.  So since this post is fairly short I direct you to two posts I wrote in late December but posted in January.  I think they are pretty funny and they involve Riff Dog.  So in celebration of that New Year's song "Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot"here are two posts dedicated to one of our dear acquaintances!

The Science of E-Mail Queens

A Day in the Life of Riff Dog on Ashley Madison's Mobile App

But I'll leave you with a little patience, which is always a good thing in relationships and life.

Not so sure about that red speedo Axl?


Gertie said...

Do you think the strings are mentally tied because of the qualities SandDee has that remind you of Shannon?

Could the comparitive resonance also be the reason you are scared to get hurt?

Anonymous said...

interesting question above.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Ryan... spill the beans. Gert has a good question.

Ryan Beaumont said...

@ Tempting: thanks Sweets, are we talking about Axl's shorts?

@ Gertie/Ponyboy - wtf? Comparative resonance? I've had people ask we if I want fries with that or do I prefer Memphis or Texas BBQ but comparative resonance? Geez, I had to google that to make sure you were not calling me a bad name! :)

But I think it has something to do with the fact when you find someone you like you start putting stipulations on yourself like call them every other day, etc. You start to think should I be doing this and then you discover it's not about should you do it, it's about want to do it. And sometimes the want to do scares the bejesus out of you because life is so much easier when you just don't give a *hit.

Oh well you asked. People who know me are always careful to ask deep questions. They tend to get blank stairs, a whole lot of gobbledegook, or info that leads to 3 or 4 other questions. :)

Anonymous said...

After looking at the video again, I've decided that Axel doesn't look so bad in his red speedo. I liked watching him walk around. Love this strong-looking things and hint of a bulge. Got any speedos? Are they red?

Also liked Gertie's question. Nicely answered. Now go put those speedos on. :)