Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ryan's Repeats - Sometimes We All Feel a Need to Change

Initially I was not exactly sure how to preface this post.  However, on the way to work and thinking about this Repeat I got to thinking about last year and the blog.  These were some pensive weeks I have to say.  Two of my favorite blogs of all time had just gone "poof," those being Ashley and Me and The Anatomies of a Marriage.  I got a lot of "hit" traffic from those sites so I was unsure how my blog would change (I know I should be doing this for me but I am vain and I do crave attention - admit it we all do).

But at the time I was so anxious to start writing about Sandee I didn't linger on the thought.  Actually once I started writing about Sandee I think a lot of people started getting into the story as my blog hits and comments actually went way up.  Of course by the time I started writing about meeting Sandee I had already been seeing her for about 4 months.  But writing about it was almost as much fun as living it.

As I write below I really didn't think Sandee was real after writing to her on AM and then e-mail for over a month.  So as I was writing to her at some point I really did start envisioning that I was writing to some of those female blog friends.  I really believe it helped because it raised my game so to speak.  It was kind of like when the Junior Varsity scrimmages the varsity.  Yeah, writing to Sandee the way I might have written to Elle or Ms. I definitely took me to the next level. 

Except that if you are out there Elle (or even Kat or Sassy) you can tell everybody that when I am actually writing to those fascinating female bloggers I really am kind of a dud!  :)

Btw, Elle has a great new blog the Ellescapades.

Anyway here is that post where I talk about how I approached the Sandee dilemma my channeling female bloggers.

Ryan's Repeat

from February 16th, 2012....
Or Channeling 20-something bloggers

OK, so at 26 Sandee is not exactly jail-bate. But I had not ever really chased those 20-something ladies on AM. I even read a couple of 20-something bloggers and had never really thought in terms of "hey I would really like to hook up with you (at least not anymore than any other blogger)," I just enjoyed their thoughts and stories. Well maybe the anticipation of a few responses like "F you old dude" dissuaded me as well but you get the point - my target audience had always been about 35 and above.

But I was invested in Sandee now and she was uber-cool so if she was interested in me I was willing to give this a try. Knowing full well that at this point, based on known AM odds, I was still at only at about a 15% chance of actually meeting her. Sex with her; now we are in John Huntsman percentages!

Could I be as cool as Steve Martin?
But for housekeeping let me explain the name. Of course, her name is not really Sandee. But as I was contemplating my potential relationship with this cute 20-something girl I recalled one of my favorite movies, LA Story. In the story an older and urbane Steve Martin has a relationship with a young energetic Sarah Jessica Parket (named SanDeE*). I love that story, the humor, the analysis on life, etc. Plus, sometimes highway signs talk to me! :)

So I started thinking of Sandee as SanDeE* because she was cute and spunky like Sarah Jessica in that movie. And (hint, hint) I would love to think of myself as Steve Martin (an aside I love his New Yorker articles as much as his movies but don't think just because Shannon has a subscription I'm very literate)!

But then I started thinking about the age difference and communication. Perhaps I was overthinking it. But one concept brought me solace. I knew some of these 20-something ladies. Yeah, those bloggers I follow. What if I was writing to one of them? What would I say to Elle if I was flirting with her?

So I thought about Elle. Yeah, she is pretty smart; I know because I've e-mailed her a few times. In fact I consulted her once on a post and she sent me back all these James Allen quotes. He is a poet so she is pretty much over my head. Then again, you have to drill down to a Kardashian to get to my intellectual equivalent! But Elle writes about running out of toilet paper and burning her mouth on frozen pizza in her blog so those personality traits I can relate to.

So I decided yes, I would channel Elle and write Sandee as if I was writing to Elle. This may work.

Sandee kind of reminded me of Elle anyway witty, goofy, but charming, and smart. I wonder if she draws cartoons as well as Elle?

Besides, I really didn't think any of this would work anyway - but wow the blog entries will be awesome so full steam ahead!

Oh but wait there was one other thing that was stuck in my head. I am not a conspiracy theorist by any stretch of the imagination; I just don't think that much. But now I was thinking conspiracy. Why the hell is this hot 26 year old writing to me? What if this is actually some teenager playing on the social networking highway for a gag! Hey, I started this for fun not to get arrested! I told myself to BE careful. That wasn't too hard; as I've said I'm not exactly a "kinkster" on e-mail so I just made sure I didn't make any sexual requests or propositions that might come back to haunt me.

The other thing I started to think about, and yes I admit this is my hubris talking, was that I started to wonder if someone from the blogoshere had tried to track me down. Maybe a crazy fan was trying to hunt Ryan Beaumont down on AM to try to find the real dude behind the blog? Hmmm...., interesting thought, but wo is the poor person who's life's mission would be to hunt me down. That would be like the time as a young kid I bit into baker's chocolate thinking it was something sweet and yummy and then BLECK (reality)!

But I also thought maybe Sandee is a blogger and just screwing with guys to get fodder for a blog. What an irony that would be if she ran into me (a blogger) looking for stuff to blog about.

I keep some of that product at hand!
Well, I had a lot to think about. But regardless, I was moving ahead - this was just too interesting to pass up! And damn, she was cute (if the photos were real). She was really cool too; actually that was the biggest draw. She sent me this one picture of her on Halloween where she was dressed as Cameron Diaz in Something About Mary - you know the scene where she has the Cindy Lou Who hair with that special "product" she got from Ben Stiller!

So deep breath and step forward; after all this was my Lloyd Dobler "dare to be great" opportunity!


Same sassy girl said...

You are most definitely NOT a dud! You're more of a dude... like a dud but with an extra e. If you keep mentioning me people're going to talk! You might ruin my reputation... oh... wait... I already did that. Never mind! Carry on. :)

Ms. B said...

Too funny, Sassy!

Ms. B said...

Great post! I love the idea of channelling that same confidence towards someone "real" so to speak. I know we all feel comfortable saying what we really think on here with no eyes on us. It's great that you can use it and I bet she can feel the straight forward confidence you feel when you are talking to her.

cammies on the floor said...

Aw, this was sweet and delusional and paranoid and such a simple moment murky with complex thinking.
I am often guilty of over-analyzing situations, so my sympathies are with you.