Saturday, February 5, 2011

She Won’t Waste Her Time on Elementary Talk

Or “I’m Baaaack in the Saddle Again!” – Part II

As I mentioned before Ciao Bella and Elegant Lady in Red had dropped the Sugar Daddy reference in their profiles.  And I being still a relative neophyte to AM didn’t really let the term sink in – although the cost of those priority messages and following notes was well worth the tuition paid.  You know at this point I was still “googling” NSA, BBF, and other abbreviations to find out the meaning J

Anyway Wiki says Sugar Daddy means:

“A slang term for a rich man who offers money or gifts to a less rich younger person in return for companionship or sexual favors.”

Now if you were to check the W-2 I just got the other day you will see the IRS thinks I make plenty of money.  And of course lunch/dinner, wine, small gifts, etc. are no issue for me!  The unfortunate challenge for me is most of the family bills (e.g. mortgage, car payments) are direct pay from Good Ole’ Ryan’s personal checking account.  Of course that leaves Shannon with plenty of discretionary income for her hobbies and little for mine so I fall a little short of the Sugar Daddy hurdle rate (meaning ski vacation to Aspen are not likely to be on the menu if you are going out with Mr. Beaumont). J

If you want some good reading on Sugar Daddies and other challenging ladies, Riff Dog has some very insightful analysis on the subject (see below):

Bye the way, I really enjoy Claire’s little blog as well, when is she going to get out again?

So back to the story.

ElegantLadyinRed had a very seductive looking picture of her from the neck down wearing a black corset, thin black silky underwear, garter, and black high heels with a hint of long red hair hanging just below the neck line and standing in front of a bed.  She was the first single lady I had written to and listed herself as 46, 5’6,” and 110# with curves in all the right places and with that picture she looked great on paper!

She had two very long paragraphs on her perfect matches and interests.  She said she was most turned on by a mature (over 50) gentleman, who is confident but not arrogant, well groomed, and has good manners and was looking for someone married.  She was looking to form a long term relationship with a gentleman who is interested in and has the means to be a benefactor.  She said she enjoyed classical music, opera, travel, was an avid runner and loved winter sports and vacations and would never turn down a fabulous dinner or bottle of Italian red!  She said she had long legs, perfectly manicured hands and feet, loved sexy lingerie but dressed conservatively on the outside including St. John’s suites and Manolo Blahnik heels.  At the end she says “let’s fall in love each time we meet, xoxo!”

And my thoughts - That’s great; I don’t have to guess her shoes this time, where do I sign up!

OK, so I am not over 50 (wow, that’s the first time I have been too young – I think I said something to that affect in my first message), am not a great skier, not really into opera, and probably am not pulling in the type of income to really put me into the “benefactor” tax bracket!  But I love a challenge.  And she did say she liked college basketball so if that is her top priority I may still be in the game!

So I write to her and give her some of my best cuisine lingo, let her know I like red wine as well, tell her about the charming town I live in, and let her know that I am in fact an “old soul in a young fit body!”  And of course that I am an expert in college basketball.  Lo and behold she does write back!  She says:

“thanks for your well thought out introduction….what do you envision us doing together…? I do not have a vehicle so while ****ville sounds lovely I would not be traveling to see you often…”

And she ends her note with “hugs and kisses, E Red,” I love it!

To answer her question, I say:

“walks along the river, afternoons over a bottle of wine at a local vineyard, a great restaurant in Georgetown, or a show at the Kennedy Center.  Someone to escape with and create our own world with our rules and parameters!”

She writes back the next day.

“Your offer is generous but I am not looking for a traditional boy friend of friend with benefits, we are not a match.”

I can’t believe that, and I said I had a buddy that could get me good Redskins tickets!  Oh well, I guess that would be a “friend with benefits! (FWB)” not a Sugar Daddy (SD) J  Anyway, I always appreciate candor!

She’s a (bump) (bump) 20th Century Fox!


Krissy Lee said...

I'm amazed that women can actually ask men for money just outright like that...who is dumb enough to be a sugar daddy??? You are not getting real affection in return, just hire a prostitute.

Rosie said...

After the usual number of failed attempts to meet the married man to fit her FWB citeria, Claire has happily settled into twice weekly meetings. He is just enough of a Sugar Daddy to indulge her taste in red lacy lingerie and a nice red wine. He WILL remember Valentine's Day with a few lovely red items in a heart-shaped box accompanied with 3 red roses. Naughty girl...she really should be telling us all the fun details. Tell Riff Dog to nudge her a bit.