Sunday, June 17, 2012

I Go for Younger Women

So the song goes as follows:

"I go for younger women,
Lived with several awhile,
And though I ran away, They'll come back one day.
And still I can manage a smile
It just takes awhile, just takes awhile."   J Buffett

I have never been a pirate but I have dated several younger women and I guess I am an over 40 victim of fate!  In fact until Sandra I had never dated an older woman (well Wendy is one month older but I don't think that counts).  I am 5 years senior to Shannon and that has sort of been my trend.

Ryan's Retro Summer

Past Adventure #4 Brianne (A Game of Cat and Mouse)

I love younger women because I like their energy and love the fact that they often think I'm smart and sophisticated and want to get all dressed up for me.  Yes I do have an ego and often the more mature women are simply able to call me out pretty quickly since they have the sage wisdom found in years of observing men being men (boys)!

The down side to younger women is that they can be coy and play games.  Often they want to be chased and want you to read into the meaning of what they say.  "Your a jerk" might mean that I'm a jerk or it might mean "you are a bad bad boy and I like bad boys so keep that smug look on your face and seduce me!"  Sometimes it just comes down to random chance with younger women but that's OK.

Brieanne was a classic younger woman.  About a year after moving to my new city after college I met her.  Let's just say she worked in an area adjacent to where I worked and in addition was an occasional customer so to speak.  I was about 25 at the time and she was probably in her junior year of college so about 20/21.  She was very cute and petite; about 5'4" and probably only weighed about 110#'s if that.  She had long wavy brunett hair.  But most importantly she had the roundest, tightest, most perfect ass I had ever seen.  We tend to talk about the "hour glass" figure and hip to waist ratios and those are important.  Brianne had those knocked out quite well.  But what we often forget is that the "hour glass" figure is a two dimensional concept.  What I like is that curvature when you are looking from the side.  I love the three dimensional perfect orb-like look with two nice cheeks.  Sorry, I drifted a bit as I was thinking about Brianne's beautiful ass eyes!

Oh wait, I always have to give a visual as well.  Let's go with Melissa Gilbert.  No I was not trying to tag little Laura Ingalls; I'm talking about a more grown up Melissa Gilbert like this!

So anyway, I started seeing Brianne in and around work over a period of time.  As time went on she found new and longer ways to stop by and see me.  After some time I started to think this was not random and that she might be flirting.  In fact at times it almost became somewhat bothersome.  I know it's hard to believe but sometimes I do actually work and at times she was inhibiting that.  But then I would look at her ass and forget about everything else.

But eventually one day she said "my friends and I are going down to Friday at 5, are you going tonight (I had probably said I liked to go to that particular thing where bands played downtown after work)?"

Well, how could I say no to that.  We made plans to meet around a certain area at a certain time.  I know what you guys are saying, why didn't you just text her when you got there but you Millenials have to understand that there was a time way before the dawn of history back in the 90's where we didn't carry cell phones and didn't text.  Well, I think I had one of those "beepers" back then just like all the drug dealers (though I didn't sell drugs) but it was different back then.

Anyway I gathered some friends and headed down to Friday at 5.  Btw, on one of those Friday at 5's I saw Hootie and the Blowfish way before they started playing golf with famous people and singing country songs, but let's keep that to ourselves.  I don't remember if Hootie was playing this particular Friday.

We had a great time that night and I did spend a lot of time with Brieanne.  Although out on the town she was not much of a talker and I had to carry the conversation which is often not good.  But I left things on a good note.  NO, we didn't hook up but we did talk about going to dinner or seeing the Comedy Club, et al.  We did go out a couple of times after that.

But the funny thing was that as mysteriously as Brieanne started to appear at my work and hang out she mysteriously stopped.  I called her a few times and she was very distant.  We didn't go out again after maybe two weeks.

Now, if our story stopped here you would just say "Ryan, she blew you off because after spending time with you she realized you are a dooface, just like the older women know up front!"

Well don't worry, I didn't think on it much.

But the story doesn't end there!

I did see Brieanne occasionally after our brief 2 week no contact relationship.  She was alway pleasant and did sometimes stay and chat but not like before and I didn't get the same vibe as before.

But lo and behold about 6 months later she comes in one day straight out of the blue and asks ME out to a Jimmy Buffett concert.  Now, I was a little leery of the request.  You know what I was thinking, she just wants a chauffer/designated driver for her and all her gal pals.  Surely I'm not that gullible?  Well, actually I am so I said I would be delighted to go.

But when I asked her about her friends it becomes apparent that there is not group of gal-pals, this is an honest to goodness girl asking out guy kind of deal.  That don't happen too often!

Now as you know it doesn't take much to confuse me so I was confused.  But then again I've never been accused of dwelling on things that confuse me so I just go along and say I would be delighted to go.  I'm certainly not a Parrott Head but I do enjoy Jimmy.  I had seen him once before (with another girl/ another story) and he gives a great show so I looked forward to seeing him again.  Oh, and just in case you were worried about Ryan and gullibility yeah I did end up shelling out for the tickets and drove her to the concert and did take her out to dinner.  But it does say I'm a nice guy right up there in the title!

So we go to the concert and did have a great time!  And I did get a kiss goodnight this time and a dinner date the next weekend.  Over the next few weeks we talked sometimes around work, at times over a lunch break but more often talked over the phone.  The thing was she would never go away.  It seemed as if I kept talking she would keep listening until eternity.  That kind of rubbed me the wrong way.  I know myself better than anybody and I know I ain't that interesting!  But I kept thinking about that ass and how much I wanted my hands around that ass or better yet to be behind that ass and between those legs!

But as much as our Brieanne seemed fascinated by me she also remained eternally coy.  Dinner would always seem to be followed by a walk and maybe ice cream.  There was kissing to be sure but always initiated by me and she never positioned herself as if to say "I'm ready to go further."

One night when the kisses were a little more passionate than before I said let's go back over to my place.  I think I mentioned a movie being on TV as if I needed a reason for her to come over other than that I wanted her naked and on all fours in front of me.  I was really starting to think about how good it was going to feel  running my fingers through that long wavy hair as it cascaded down her back.  Then I would run my hands down her back to her hips as I plunged into her.  God the site of that ass smacking into my hips was going to feel and look glorious!

But alas, she had others plans, had to work early tomorrow, had to call her mom, had to let the cat out, had to, had to, had to do anything other than go back to my place and *uck my brains out.

But I am also patient and I felt this was good, our intentions are out in the open now.

Except that once again just as the Brianne tide had rolled in before and then gently rolled out it was once again receding after that high tide of the Parrott head concert.  The following week I did not see my dear Brianne.  No hanging out and bothering me, no phone calls just to talk, no more dates, and certainly no sex.  

Yes my game of cat and mouse was over.  In the end I'm not sure if I was the cat or the mouse but I damn sure went away hungry.

But I did get to see Jimmy!  Always like to look on the bright side of life (as they say on the Life of Bryan)!

"but I've got to stop wishin', got to go fishin'
I'm down to rock bottom again. Just a few friends,
Just a few friends."   J Buffett


Anonymous said...

Awww! Too bad you went away hungry, but good you look at the bright side of life.

Happy Father's Day! Gave a good new week!

Gertie said...

Well you know what they say about those Southern Girls and how it's hard to close the deal.

If we all didn't strike out sometime it would make the homeruns a little less sweet.

Elle said...

Ryan, You didn't need to write this whole post just to admit that you have a major crush on me -- the younger woman!

Ryan Beaumont said...

@ Tempting - thanks it was a great Father's Day!

@ Gertie - I like your thinking. Yes I've struck out a lot but my slugging percentage still ain't that bad!

@ Elle - shhhh..... let's not spread that around too much; people will talk.